Over the weekend, I had a disappointing involving a dancer. I had had dances with her two years ago, and was very impressed. Saturday I saw her again after a two year hiatus. SHe actually remembered me from two years earlier..not my name, but my line of work and my home town, enough to establish credibilty. Alas, when I took her into VIP, all she wanted to do was TALK. I didn't want to offend her, or hurt her feelings, but I couldn't think of any way to get her to focus on dancing.
Do any of you have any suggestions on how to get a dancer to stop talking and to focus on the matters "at hand"...in a constructive way that will get you what you want?
By the way, a local women's group has started a new program to curtail domestic violence... a 12 step program designed to teach women the meaning of the phrase, "Shut the hell up."
FONDL: In over twenty years of clubing I've tried dancers of all ages. I settled on older women years ago. Nothing I see in the attitudes of young dancers nowadays has done anything to change my mind. I draw the line at about 26 or 27 but most of my favs are 29 to 40.
Yoda, that's been my experience too, I've never found dancers I'm with to be particularly secretive, which is why I find the on-line complaints puzzling. But I've always found the youngest dancers to be the most open. Maybe if you tried some younger dancers and I tried some older ones wi'd both find our generalizations about age to be incorrect.
FONDL: I've found that the dancers I'm attracted to have no problem discussing the topics you mentioned. I don't push for personal information but it flows pretty freely once women know thay can trust you. I see the same complaints you do in print and honestly I think a lot of it depends on where the dancer's comfort level is. At the risk of beating a dead horse it seems to be more of an issue with younger dancers who may still be a bit timid about stalkers and creepy customers in general. Once you've been dancing for a few years you realize that all a real wacko has to do is get your license plate number when you leave work and he can find out anything he wants to know for a price.
Since this thread doesn't seem to be going anywhere, is it OK if I ask a general question about conversation with dancers? How come it's OK if they ask you personal questions but not OK if you ask them the same questions? I've found that when a girl joins me usually the first question they ask is "what's your name?" And that's almost immediately follwed by "are you from around here?" and "where are you from?" and "are you married/how many kids/etc.?" and "what do you do for a living?" And yet I've read over and over again how tired some girls are of being asked these same questions. What gives? I really don't get it.
I run into this problem a couple of times. Usually, the girl has just gone Crank or Coke...and engine on the jaw just won't shut up.
The only thing that I've had any luck with is This:
1) Become the dominate one in the conversation...in that you take control of where the conversation is going.
2) Immediately verbalize your expectations in a Sultry Tone. (fake the mood that you're really into her)
3) Physically guide her...(within what you precieve as her limits)
4) Lastly...ask her to kiss your neck...or demand a Kiss from her.
5) Compliment each demand that she performs.....(sorta like you would if you're having sex with an inexperienced sex partner)
Ultimately, if yes balks at any of these steps....Call it a Loss for that dance. If you can't forcefully shift her Paradigm into yours...give up (quickly). She's either to drugged, to boozed, to mentally ill, or just not into you.
davids: Thank you for that suggestion. It is particularly pertinent, not because it would be useful with the dancer about whom I asked the question, but because it would be perfect for a dancer known by Chandler and me, and named after a Shakespearean character and/or a Disney character.
What do you think, Chandler? Will I ever again grope those perfect boobs after I do the hand thing to her?
I've always found that most dancers know when to talk and when not to. When I come across one who hasn't learned that, I find another girl.
Interestingly, when my ATF was attending massage school, she was taught that the number 1 reason why a customer doesn't return is because the massage therapist talked too much during the massage.
Ask her if she has an off switch. Make the yak-yak motion with one of your hands. Pretend to fall asleep on her, and say "yes, that's very interesting, yeah, yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh"
Nah, this is about bitches you can't so easily tune out.
Chitown, I know I've gotten dances where I started out wondering if she'd shut up and it turned out all right. Maybe none were as persistent as yours. When I've said something, it hasn't been anything astoundingly clever, but more self-deprecating, like apologizing that i lack the capability to listen and enjoy the dance at the same time.
I find that "sorry, what were you saying?" shuts all but the most persistent women up. If they keep it up, just interrupt them with non sequiturs until they get the point. If they're still talking about that, they're high on something or OCD.
Chandler, don't you mean, PAYING her for CONVERSATION?
Actually, Chandler, when I saw the woman in question, as you and I were sitting close to stage-side. conversation was PART of my thoughts, though greatly secondary to other thoughts. I did want to catch up on her life over the last two years, and was flattered that she wanted to do the same with me. However, I have to be candid enough to admit that I may have contributed to the problem by taking her straight back to VIP as soon as I could get her attention. I should have taken her to a table for 15-20 minutes of conversation before going to VIP. But you must agree, Chandler, the temptation to get her in VIP ASAP could be a strong one...
Chitown, First off, very un-PC. You will burn in a feminist hell. Lapdances from Rosanne Barr for eternity.
I actually did have one of the situations you described. It was on the road, so I wasn't worried about offending the dancer. We'd done a few LD's already, and she was sitting with me at my table talking in between LDs. As an aside, you'd be shocked at how easy is is to get a good reputation as a cool, nice, a good customer, or a great conversationalist just by encouraging strippers to talk. Many don't need much encouragement, and all you have to do is toss in a few questions every so often to keep up the illision that you are both talking. The problem is the one you bring up. We went to the LD room and she kept talking. The LD was suffering as a result. I took my index finger, put it on her lips (gently) and said "shhhhh. Dancing now, talking later." She giggled and went back to work, and yes, it was better, then when we went back to the table started right back to talking where we left off. If your question is how to get one to shut up in general rather than just the dance, can't help you. I usually try to excuse myself or hint for her to move on.
17 comments
Latest
.....I've .....done
to many beers!
I run into this problem a couple of times. Usually, the girl has just gone Crank or Coke...and engine on the jaw just won't shut up.
The only thing that I've had any luck with is This:
1) Become the dominate one in the conversation...in that you take control of where the conversation is going.
2) Immediately verbalize your expectations in a Sultry Tone. (fake the mood that you're really into her)
3) Physically guide her...(within what you precieve as her limits)
4) Lastly...ask her to kiss your neck...or demand a Kiss from her.
5) Compliment each demand that she performs.....(sorta like you would if you're having sex with an inexperienced sex partner)
Ultimately, if yes balks at any of these steps....Call it a Loss for that dance. If you can't forcefully shift her Paradigm into yours...give up (quickly). She's either to drugged, to boozed, to mentally ill, or just not into you.
My method...
SS
What do you think, Chandler? Will I ever again grope those perfect boobs after I do the hand thing to her?
Interestingly, when my ATF was attending massage school, she was taught that the number 1 reason why a customer doesn't return is because the massage therapist talked too much during the massage.
Chitown, I know I've gotten dances where I started out wondering if she'd shut up and it turned out all right. Maybe none were as persistent as yours. When I've said something, it hasn't been anything astoundingly clever, but more self-deprecating, like apologizing that i lack the capability to listen and enjoy the dance at the same time.
Actually, Chandler, when I saw the woman in question, as you and I were sitting close to stage-side. conversation was PART of my thoughts, though greatly secondary to other thoughts. I did want to catch up on her life over the last two years, and was flattered that she wanted to do the same with me. However, I have to be candid enough to admit that I may have contributed to the problem by taking her straight back to VIP as soon as I could get her attention. I should have taken her to a table for 15-20 minutes of conversation before going to VIP. But you must agree, Chandler, the temptation to get her in VIP ASAP could be a strong one...
I actually did have one of the situations you described. It was on the road, so I wasn't worried about offending the dancer. We'd done a few LD's already, and she was sitting with me at my table talking in between LDs. As an aside, you'd be shocked at how easy is is to get a good reputation as a cool, nice, a good customer, or a great conversationalist just by encouraging strippers to talk. Many don't need much encouragement, and all you have to do is toss in a few questions every so often to keep up the illision that you are both talking. The problem is the one you bring up. We went to the LD room and she kept talking. The LD was suffering as a result. I took my index finger, put it on her lips (gently) and said "shhhhh. Dancing now, talking later." She giggled and went back to work, and yes, it was better, then when we went back to the table started right back to talking where we left off. If your question is how to get one to shut up in general rather than just the dance, can't help you. I usually try to excuse myself or hint for her to move on.