A business executive had an important decision to make. He had to lay off one employee due to budget cuts and narrowed it down to Mary or Jack. He struggled with the decision. They were hired on the same date, had identical performace reviews and were equal in every way. He decided that rather than flipping a coin, he would lay off the first of the two that went to the water cooler then next morning.
He waited by the cooler. Mary dragged herself into the office first with a massive hangover after a night of partying. The executive walked over as she poured some water to swallow a handful of asprin.
"Mary, I have a tough decision to make. I have to lay you or Jack off"
Mary sighed and said, "Would you mind jacking off? I feel like shit today."
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