Love/Hate Paradox

I thoroughly understand the "Needing" part. BUT there is no need to HATE. That will seep through sooner or later to the customer. PLUS it will "hurt" the dancer in the long run. Just be tolerant. Or I suppose, find another line of work.

Haters be hatin'.

I learned years ago to avoid the "hustlers". I see them and am cordial, but their hustle leaves me dead cold.

If strippers were allowed to wear pantsuits, they'd probably carry around Brooklyn Bridge sales brochures in their jacket pockets.

Being pretty cynical, I didn't believe the "your special" shit even as a newbie. This frustrated one stripper so much, she started refusing money from me, just to get me to call her so she could have the pleasure of not answering me.

Now I know there is a divide between SW and reality. I don't think I have had a dancer I have seen more than 2 or 3 times not tell me their real names. Or start talking about lots of personal stories, how their kid(s) are doing, what trips they are going on, etc.

Though maybe that just confirms my belief that strippers have triple identities. Stage ones, real ones, and then fake real ones they try and sell you on.

People who work in sales are generally good at sizing up their customers. Strippers quickly recognize the majority of us, who are not going to be trouble to them. From that point, their lies are towards the purpose of cash extraction, not protecting themselves from us.

Hate? I'm like Sara Lee. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.

Those women are more cynical than we are.

Just finished reading the piece. First, much thanks to Papi for bringing this to our attention. Second, whether they're dancers or work in a totally different industry, these gals are gonna be a pain in the ass-it's their personality or lack there of.

Use their energy against them.

Obviously they have no soul. To flirt is one thing, to play with a man's heart and lie is down right fickle. They obviously never heard the phrase "walk a mile in their shoes"

My ATF hates her regulars too but they pay her bills so she's always nice to them. I laugh with some of the shit she tells me they say and do. I'm always on guard to not get too clingy myself, even though we've met OTC and I've been to her apartment, etc. I know I'm just a friend to her deep down. It works for both of us.

I've always thought this is a silly paradox. Strippers want you to buy their line of SS, but they don't want you to fall in love or get serious either.

I am a cynical being, and I look at it as a cash for services transaction. I want to maximize my value and they want to get as much as they can for nothing. I have in the past told a stripper I am looking for this and in return I will pay you this. Some also don't like that way of thinking. IME they are the ones to avoid. They are trying to use the fantasy to get more out of you than they are worth. If being frank doesn't bother them, then IME they are the ones worth dealing with.

It's because whether they want to admit it or not, they need the PLs to validate them. The real truth is without PLs there wouldn't be any need for strippers.

@rockstar666 why the fuck are you laughing she hates you too. How hypocritical, you think she thinks of you as a friend. Your priorities are all kinds of wacked. And if she didn't offer to hang out with you first or ever pay for your expenses outside the club AND at random, you need to reevaluate

Eatafador, we've known each other for 3 years and I don't pay her to see me OTC. We're friends. I pay her at the club, and she won't accept tips from me. If she hated me she'd let me tip her, and charge for OTC, don't you think? Yes, dancers DO have friends.

A difficult read for sure. Within the reality that is a SC, I sincerely do care about my favs. I hope, and do not sense, any hatred from them. But, I'm sure none of the other PL's do either.

The thing is, the majority of the time it is the Dancer that wants to exchange numbers. They initiate talk of lunch or dinner OTC most of the time. And, I've met several for just that and most the time it was a very fun time for both of us. Again, all in the provider/client reality.

This is where I struggle with SW. The perception they put forth is one of seething revulsion for the PL. I just don't get that vibe in the SC. I know the truth is somewhere in the middle.

I got that most of them want to keep it a business relationship and like the last post in the thread want what most of us want an on going relationship that is simple and lasts as long as both parties are interested and ends with out strings.

Well at least I don't need to feel bad about not givibg a damn about them either

@TiredTraveller: Funnily enough, I want the same thing. Only with sex. :)

"This is where I struggle with SW"

It is pretty evident that it works just like this place. Persons HIDING behind anonymity using a made up name on the Internet. REAL life in the club is a different kettle of fish! Different rules of behavior.

"All customers come with an expiration date"... I think it's more all strippers have an expiration date... but I agree wit the inherent time limit

"regulars are a waste of time & energy"... wtf? most club I've been to depend on regulars, only is a heavy tourist town (like Vegas) can a dancer get away without developing regulars IMO

more to the point, yeh, it is a silly paradox. they want you to fall for their SS to get your money but not fall for their SS and get the wrong idea. After the xATF burnout, I would much appreciate it if they cut the SS and made it more business only, but the probably undercuts the fantasies that most regulars are after.

good to see SassyBecca is still posting, ha

The real question is does Estefador ever get tired of making assumptions and judging people? You do this in so many threads, and continually look like a self-rightgeous dumbass. You might be a good guy, but you might also have an IQ of about 40 from what I can tell.

We have to relate to a lot of people at work, at stores, etc. If you're courteous and they're still hostile towards you, fuck them, they can hold it in or quit. Strippers can pick and choose which customers they deal with, an advantage many do not have in their job.

<i>It is pretty evident that it works just like this place. Persons HIDING behind anonymity using a made up name on the Internet. REAL life in the club is a different kettle of fish! Different rules of behavior.</i>

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Yea, I'm sure Candy is her real name...

I think it is just plain wrong to make suggestions to someone you would like to meet up or hang out with them when you have no desire to. To repeatedly do this is asking for trouble. Is a dancer so stupid that she thinks the guy or customer isn't going to eventually get ticked off at wasting his time suggesting meeting up. I don't know anyone who likes being lied to all the time.

The stripper that suggested that she would tell the dancer he is no longer welcome in the club is really despicable. Here one dancer is lying like crazy saying she wants to meet up or hang out but then another dancer suggests having him kicked out of probably one of his local clubs when he hasn't lied to anyone.

There is a big difference between fantasy and making repeated lies that someone wants to meet up or hang out.

Consider this: Lots of custies say it's OK to watch the stage show and not tip. The stage dances are a dancer's advertisement to sell her table and lap dances. Even if you don't intend to get any lap/table dances, your giving the dancer the chance to change your mind.

If you're dogging a dancer to date you outside the club, and she says stuff like "well maybe eventualy", even though she's thinking hell no never, she's giving you the chance to change her mind. Kinda similar thinking no?