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18 comments

My First Sexting With A Stripper

Aug 19, 2013, 12:57 AM

At the moment I am stranded in the back of beyond with two flat tires on the F-150. Nearest town with garage is about 100km away. Not a farm light to be seen anywhere in the darkness. 1:30AM. Not the worst pickle I have ever been in but I am going crazy with boredom until I can summon a tow truck to rescue me. I turn to tuscl to kill time but that soon wears thin.

In utter desperation for amusement I send a text to my Toronto sweetie. Joy! She is still awake even though it is past 3:30AM in Toronto. The texts fly back and forth, getting spicier and spicier by the moment. I switch to voice so that I can enjoy her sexy, throaty voice and accented English. Big mistake. Sweetie really gets me going! She tells me she is going to rub one out for me over the phone. I get all the sexy noises and heavy breathing. Real or not; Mr Wood believes.

I am now sporting a rampant boner, completely useless to me out here so many kilometres from DirtyAss, Alberta. I'm REALLY hating my life at this instant.

comments (18)

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smokeshopjoe12 years ago

cheer up, you have cell phone signal, and it isnt winter.

SlickSpic12 years ago

Cheer up Art, it could always be worse-no cell service & 4 flats. If it makes you any happier, I'm working and it's 2:25 am.

zipman6812 years ago

Farmerart...tell the truth dude. You've sexted before, haven't you? You're actually Carlos Danger...aren't you?

dallas70212 years ago

Not to put a damper on your fun, but you do realize that the NSA now has the entire transcript of your convo with Joy? And, although the NSA won't even admit they spy on us in the US, they DO share all that data with authorities in Canada! (something about NAFTA, the DEW line or blackmail = not sure what.)

zipman6812 years ago

Dallasdude... No worries. Art is Carlos' brother... Pablo Danger!!! And you know what he lives for... DANGER!!! Fuck yeah!!!

3LeggedMan12 years ago

Great to read you again, Art! Proof that not every posting here needs to be by trolls or about them. So, how did your broken down Ford situation end up?

georgmicrodong12 years ago

I believe this is what my daughter calls "first world problems." :)

What the fuck is stopping you from rubbing one out? :)

Otto2212 years ago

Always good to hear from you, Art. Hope you're back on the road soon and will soon find solace for your "rampant boner." All the best, my friend!

SuperDude12 years ago

Careful. Text messages can wind up in places--like court proceedings--that can get very uncomfortable.

Papi_Chulo12 years ago

As gmd said; you should have slapped the monkey yourself while on the ph w/ your sweetie â€“ you probably would have felt a lot more relaxed.

mjx0112 years ago

glad you're back art!

Alucard12 years ago

You're behind the times Art. ;)

goodsouthernboy12 years ago

I'll echo the others, glad to see you here again even if this is what it took to get you back. I highly suggest face timing sweety so you can see her rub it out. Awesome experience when you can't touch.

This also reminds me of a saying I first heard today. There was a conference call in the office and the guy on the other side says "I'm in a real shit sandwich over here." I have no idea what his problem was but it made my day a hell of a lot better.

samsung112 years ago

Also you can try niteflirt.com if you want more phone sex.

smokeshopjoe12 years ago

did you get a tow art? are you still on the side of the canadian highway?

goodsouthernboy12 years ago

I hope he had his cell charger with him...

farmerart12 years ago

Addendum:

I gave up on the tow truck and called one of my boys to come and get me with one of our flat decks. We winched the F-150 onboard, chained it down, drove to our yard in Calgary and changed the tires ourselves.

Boner had disappeared by the time my guy showed up with the flat deck.

3LeggedMan12 years ago

Glad you got home safely. Sorry for the passing of the rampant boner without an appropriate resolution. Take care in the Great White North.