tuscl

The Ultimate Strip Club Design

jerikson40
New York
Occasionally my mind wanders and starts to think about how I would design my ideal strip club. Y'know, outside the box thinking...

It seems to me that the vast majority of strip clubs have the same basic design...they're indoors, generally low lighting, have one or more main stages for the strippers to dance on, a bar, and some private dance areas. That's about it. Not a lot of variety, IMO.

So I'm wondering what I would do to make things much more awesome-er....

First of all, the indoors thing seems to be a bit stifling to me. And after visiting big resorts with swimming pools and swim up bars and stuff, it occurred to me, why not have a strip club with an outdoor section, and a swimming pool, and the strippers would strut around in tiny bikinis and give you lap dances or "lounge chair" dances while you're lying by the side of the pool. I'm thinking like the big resorts in Vegas or something, with tons of hot chicks circulating around. You can hop in the pool, get a "pool dance" from a naked stripper, swim up to the bar, get a drink while the strippers dance in front of you...damn, how cool would that be? And yeah, this would be limited to clubs in warm climates........

Someone also mentioned having showers for customers. I've visited some of the "clubs" in Rio, where they actually have lockers where you go in and take off your clothes, wrap a towel around you, put on some slippers, and then go into the bar area where the dancers are. Pretty awesome. Of course you then pick a hot Brazilian dancer and fuck her brains out, and then take a shower. Talk about walking out of a club feeling like a million bucks !!! Those clubs are designed for MEN, and to make men enjoy themselves.

And other ideas?

27 comments

  • jerikson40
    11 years ago
    Oh, and I almost forgot...

    Mitchell Bros in San Francisco is an overpriced suck-hole, but it does have a very cool concept...theme rooms. And it used to be pretty awesome. There's a movie theater where you can make out with the dancers, there's a very dark room where they give you a flashlight and the dancer gives you a lapdance and all you can see is what you can see with the flashlight (yeah, okay, that sucks, but at least they were trying). And there are a bunch of other theme rooms, which escape me right now.

    You could go CRAZY coming up with awesome theme rooms....
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    11 years ago
    inno123 pretty well covered this subject with a series of articles within the past year. See:

    https://www.tuscl.net/u-a.php?UID=214358
  • jerikson40
    11 years ago
    "inno123 pretty well covered this subject with a series of articles within the past year."

    Wow, awesome. But those are articles about *HIS* design ideas, no? Can't we open this up to everyone?
  • jester214
    11 years ago
    Sapphire's in Vegas just put in a pool. Don't know all the specifics but I suspect it will have much of what you suggested.

    I've always thought a very classy interior with decent lighting, like a nice lounge or bar, that was located on an upper floor of a high rise would be pretty cool.

    Not realistic, but fun to imagine.
  • SuperDude
    11 years ago
    Small private room, with shower, for two with sofa and TV screen for watching porn. This room would have its own bar to avoid interruptions by wait staff. The customer would have to pay in advance drinks ordered off a menu.
  • Dougster
    11 years ago
    Include a bouncer who kicks jerkoffson in the nuts the instant he enters.
  • jackslash
    11 years ago
    I don't know about the shower. Would it be kept clean? Who used it last? I would rather go to my hotel or home and shower there.
  • jerikson40
    11 years ago
    "Would it be kept clean? Who used it last?"

    I suppose you could ask the same questions about that stripper you're banging in the VIP. But is that a deterrent?

    Although I suppose if you're lying down in the shower and rubbing your johnson on the tiles and licking the faucet, you might have a point.
  • motorhead
    11 years ago
    A lot of consideration should be given to parking. Apparently, not everyone feels the same way. I often mention the parking situation in my reviews, but many times on the discussion board I read, "who the fuck cares about parking, tell me about the girls"

    Example:

    Mons Venus. One of top rated clubs in the country yet it has a parking lot smaller than farmerart's garage. If you go in at 2pm you find a parking spot because everyone is taken up a dancer.

    I prefer "no" valet parking, but given a choice between tiny lots, street parking, or valet, I'll take valet.
  • DandyDan
    11 years ago
    I like the idea of the swimming pool, but those things seem to be way too expensive for all but the richest strip club owners. Plus you got to keep it clean, plus who's to say someone won't blow their load in the pool. Then again, the chlorine ought to kill it, but then again, who wants to smell like chlorine? Plus in cold areas, you'd have to do that indoors, and indoor swimming pools are excessively hot. So in short, a swimming pool is nice in theory, but it's impractical.

    I do like theme rooms, but you'd need a large number of dancers for all the possible themes. The trouble with theme rooms is the management thinks the theme is nude (or topless) girls there for everyone's entertainment. And for the vast majority of customers, that's true. So for most clubs, theme rooms are impractical.

    In truth, I'm not sure what you can really add to most strip clubs except possibly a shower stage. And for most clubs, that's impractical, because the club is too small.
  • motorhead
    11 years ago
    I've been in the Deja Vu in Tampa where they have themed rooms for bed dances. The Disney and Cinderella rooms are well..just a little too creepy for my tastes.
  • JuiceBox69
    11 years ago
    Beds...they need some goddamn beds
  • JuiceBox69
    11 years ago
    And sum fuckin rockin chairs
  • georgmicrodong
    11 years ago
    Pools are expensive to maintain properly, and when not maintained properly, they can make a sewer seem sterile. Given the propensity of most strip club owners to pinch pennies, I wouldn't use one even if it was present.
  • JuiceBox69
    11 years ago
    Meth labs it needs meth plYa
  • shadowcat
    11 years ago
    Tango India in San Jose, Costa Rica has an entire Convair 240 air craft inside the club.

    http://www.tangoindiavip.com/spa/photos_…
  • Rod8432
    11 years ago
    Used to be a club in Atlanta called the Taj Mahal, which featured an outdoor pool. Cool as hell because the dancers both frolicked with customers in the pool as well as danced on little stages on the sides.

    The big difference, besides the pool party atmosphere, was dancers seemed fresh and natural - like girls next door - since they kept make-up to a minimum and only wore their bikinis when not swimming. Plus, being inches from a hot naked girl as I tipped her under the Georgian sun added a whole new level of eroticism and intimacy. It was very organic, versus seeing the girls in the usual jumpy strobes, dim shadows, too much make-up, and fussy stripper outfits.

    The club unfortunately closed years ago. Not sure whether it was forced out of business or shuttered its doors for other reasons. Great memories, though, and I think would be a hit again, especially at a place like Vegas.
  • Player11
    11 years ago
    For me it wb the Ritz Houston.

    1. Two stages on main floor with bar to right. A sports bar (they promote it as "man cave') in an area past the bar and behind stage 1 (which used to be CR).
    2. Upstairs VIP with plenty of couches (privacy partitions), bar, waiting area, gaming machines.
    3. CR right after entry. Individual rooms with love seat couch, end table for drinks, and adjustable lighting and door you can close.
    4. Patio area (smoking allowed) with bar, basketball court, strippers in bikinis sunning who are very friendly.
    5. A super free buffet.
    6. State of the Art websit and FB posts alerting one to drink specials. They also post hot pics of gals on FB.
    7. Lots of beautiful, friendly girls.
  • inno123
    11 years ago
    The big problem with an outdoor pool area to a strip club is public indecency laws.

    The problem with theme rooms larger than a VIP is that they become a management nightmare with balancing the number of dancers in a particular area with the number of customers that want to be in the same area. Inevitably the customers want to see the biggest variety of women so they go to the room that has the most dancers. The club then shifts more dancers to that room and the cycle continues until one room is packed with customers and girls and the others are dead.

    One solution might be to divide the club into rooms based on the type of dancers...one for thin girls, one for ethnic, one for big breasted girls, but that would still be a management nightmare.

    That is why unless there is some gimmick based on local laws (for example the places that have a 'nude room' separate from where alcohol is served) the trend is one big room with one big or long stage.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    I think I would like shower dances akin to bed dances in some clubs – i.e. taking a shower dance with a hot naked wet chick – ummmm – yeah – I’d be down for that
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    I also like large open areas a la Tootsies in Miami where one can see most of the club and can thus get a bird’s eye view of most of the dancers on the floor.

    I generally prefer nice open areas whether it’s a SC or not and don’t like areas/SCs that are too partitioned.

    Also private one-person LD booths with at least a curtain being the norm would be nice. Most dancers feel a lot less inhibited when no one is watching.
  • Player11
    11 years ago
    A sign prohibiting Dougster from entry.
  • jerikson40
    11 years ago
    "The big problem with an outdoor pool area to a strip club is public indecency laws."

    Fence.

    Next?
  • jerikson40
    11 years ago
    In another thread someone mentioned something about the customers choosing their own music, and that got me thinking...

    To me, having girls come up one at a time and do their own thing on one or more stages is kind of, well, boring and monotonous....

    I'd much prefer something like this:

    Imagine the lights go down, the room is quiet, and suddenly over the excellent sound system you hear John Bonham pounding out the opening beat of Zeppelin's Kashmir......the lights slowly come up amidst some smoke slowlly billowing onto the stage, and out step the 5 hottest dancers you've ever seen, all dressed in insanely hot and sexy outfits, dancing slowly and erotically and orgasmically to the beat. A choreographed show where the girls are doing their best to make every single customer jizz in his pants just by watching them.

    They keep up the dancing on stage, then slowly move down into the audience and each girl climbs on a customer and continues her erotic squirming, reaching into the guys pants, jacking him, some girls sucking, and some girls giving a full service lap dance in front of everyone. One big squirming sex fest, to the beat of Led Zeppelin.

    Now THAT is a stage show.
  • jerikson40
    11 years ago
    "The problem with..."

    Guys, I've noticed that some people tend to respond to ideas people have with "The problem with..."

    And that's fine. Just keep in mind that EVERYTHING has one or more problems associated with it. If there's a problem, you either deal with it and fix it or move on to something else. But the purpose of this thread is to brainstorm IDEAS...out of the box thinking...and you can't do that if people are constantly pulling you back to earth with "the problem with..."

    Relax, smoke some weed or whatever you do to relax, and let your mind wander and try to come up with some really awesome ideas. You can't do that if you're always thinking of problems. Think of how things SHOULD BE in an ideal world.

    For example, an outdoor swimming pool does exist at a strip club in Vegas. So it is possible. Yeah, you have to hire a company to clean it regularly, but so does just about every hotel on the planet.

  • jerikson40
    11 years ago
    I also like the idea of theme nights, where the dancers dress up in different outfits. Unfortunately it's way too rare in the clubs I hang out in, but if done right it can be awesome. In too many clubs the dancers limit themselves to bikinis or, well, bikinis.

    My ideal club would have ME as the wardrobe manager, making sure the girls used a little innovation in designing their outfits. Theme rooms, theme outfits....now we're talking
  • shanny72
    11 years ago
    Titties
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