“You don't get to do that. To come into somebody's life, make them care, and then just check out"
Some may recognize this quote as what Dale said to Andrea minutes before the CDC exploded on the first season finale of The Walking Dead
I've felt this way a few times about strippers. I'm trying to get better, but we are still human. I guess that's why I'm a classic PL
We are all PL's in one way or another and that goes for the civilians too.
No, it just makes you human. It is natural to develop attachments to people with whom were are intimate, even if that intimacy was paid for and even simulated in some way.
This is obviously particularly relevant for customers. I think that dancers are somewhat inoculated to this simply because of mindset (they are working and provide a similar experience to others), the age differences between themselves and most customers, the fact that they have SOs, young kids or both that they go home to, and other issues that occupy their thoughts (substance abuse, emotional issues, etc.). But for strip club hounds in particular, who go to clubs seeking interaction rather than $$$ payments and who don't have a lot of these other things in their lives, the experience can naturally have a real effect.
The funny thing here is that you guys who are doing the right thing, which includes only messing around with strippers when you are not in committed relationships, are probably more exposed to this than us dogs who have every reason not to fuck around, but do anyway. It is the opposite of how the universe should work, but there it is.
I have had a few girls who have definitely affected me over the years, including one who I even wrote an article about on here. But what always kept me grounded is the fact that I have a wife and children to go home to and cannot afford to get caught up in outside drama. If my circumstances were different, I might be singing the same tune right now.
motorhead, in my humble opinion, the important thing is that you enjoy each ride and don't let things get out of hand. Outside of that, don't kick yourself for the natural feelings that come about, regardless of the underlying nature of the relationship, when you've shared a lot of time with a young, beautiful and engaging woman and then she is gone.
hey, it works both ways. i'll start to develop feelings for a guy, i'll be thinking he's really sweet on me, and then i'll see him stagger out of the vip with some bitch i can't stand with a goofy grin on his face... and walk right by me.
carolynne, thats really interesting to me. would you say most dancers are like that?
Comes with the territory Carolynne.
You people can call yourselves PL's ALL you want. I WILL NOT label myself as one.
Alucard! Did you see your profile pic? Your the poster child.
It definitely works both ways, I have a regular "customer" (or whatever you want to call him) that I'm kind of emotionally attached to. Sometimes if I haven't seen him in awhile I get really bummed out and if he shows up unannounced at the club it instantly makes me night better. So, in this case, I'm the PL!
My favs care about me and I care about them. After all, they are women too.
I'm a PL, but hey its like going to rehab, once you admit your addiction you can start to feel better about yourself.
Unless a dancer can prove that she'll have only me as a customer ( yeah right) then there's no reason for me to not see other dancers as well.
I see no point in calling everyone a PL. I occasionally see dancers develop strong feelings for someone who never intended things to heat up like that. I think it's part of being human.
Oh please ! Will someone slap the shit out of these bitches. Anything I could garner off this site I already learned in grade school.
Carolynne. . .sorry, I was distracted by your photo. Anyway, as customers we don't really understand that reaction you were talking about. We see the dancers as interchangeable, although sometimes lovely, parts of the whole. If you are busy and we are horny, which when you think about it, the chances would be pretty high, then we will shift our attentions to the next hot little thing that walks up and purrs in our ear. We don't know that you have been feuding with her for the last two weeks. When we do see the tension bubble to the surface, we automatically assume that it is two women trying trying to protect their revenue stream, nothing more. because we have seen so much of that over the years we are pretty skeptical that there could actually be underlying feelings. And it is even harder to think that it is anything more than those dreaded friend-zone feelings.
Duo, I keep looking at your profile pic and it is one of those shots that says about 50 different things. So I was distracted, too. I'll bet you have some stories to tell. We can conceive that we brighten the day of the dancer when we show up, but it says less about our charm and playa capabilities than it dies about the typical bleakness of the club while we are not there.
Look out Carolynne! Larry is a stalker.
I guess I'm a robot lol
If a stripper is genuinely fascinated with me, she better damn well let me know (and prove it without using sexual methods) because as far as I can tell, she is on my lap because I have money there. And when I walk in the club, I generally expect these hot babes to be all about the money and not about the romance (wish I was as cool as ranukam right about now)
If some of you are offended by being called a PL, then duly noted. Personally, I don't find it offensive.
I'm a middle-guy that seeks out the company of women half my age. I pay for sexual gratification. They kiss me and tell me they love me. I know it's a lie, but the brain just loves sending out electrical and chemical signals just to fuck with me. Just for fun I guess.
I'm not "The Most Interesting Man in the World". Nor I am I Hugh Hefner, Bill Clinton, or Jack Nicholson. They can get away with it. I can't. I have no problem admitting I'm a pathetic loser. I am what am.
Thanks for the shout out Esta lol.
I honestly care about many of my customers and consider many of them to be friends. I don't care if they only see me as a piece of meat, I can't help but care about someone if I get to know them and share (some sort) of physical intimacy with them. I used to feel bad about it, especially when they would "dump" me for another dancer, but I've decided that I love my flaw. I'm glad that people still matter to me and that I haven't started to see men as groping apes with wallets. I hope I never loose that, even if it's a little painful sometimes.
@ Looneylarry:
Carolynne uses stock photos of tits for her avatar. Those aren't her tits. You are slobbering all over yourself for nothing.
@motorhead: No worries. There is nothing pathetic about a middle aged guy getting p4p pussy from a young woman. Nor, for that matter, is there anything pathetic about developing affections for a girl who you see and interact with regularly. The only thing that would qualify as pathetic is if you lost control and did something stupid, such as excessive spending on her, stalking her, etc.
@carolynne: I have no doubt that you develop genuine fondness for some of your better customers, but it isn't really the same thing. It is a job for you, but for them it is a bit more personal. Unless you are a 50-something year old whose primary source of interaction with the opposite sex is obtained on a p4p basis, you would probably have a hard time understanding the mindset.
Some of the comments in here are coming from the peanut gallery anyway, which includes young guys with thin pockets and sporadic strip club visits.
"I think it's hard for ... to have a long relationship without developing some feelings"
@Jack: I used to feel that way. Then I realized most of my family were selfish bastards who didn't give a flying fuck about people them claim to care about and back stab family member over really petty things. There are soul-less people out there and, at least in my life, the number keeps growing.
PL is the modern day geek dweeb or dork
As a strip club VIP / experienced player I am mainly looking for mistress material vs buying dances. Strippers are providers and while the type of service can vary it's all about value they can provide for my hobby enjoyment.
I have done a number of strippers itc and had several as mistresses over the years. IMO it is not the customer who is a PL necessarily but the guy who is manipulated by ss and drama.
I've overspent and gotten too heavily involved with ny ATF but she keeps me grounded. My wife has Alzheimers and my ATF always asks about her, as well as questioning me to make sure she's cared for properly. More than once she's said that she wished I was 30 years younger. We talk about lots of things and frequently go to dinner. She tells me how hard it is to fuck a guy old enough to be her grandfather but other times shell have multiple orgasms when we're together. I don't have visions of riding off into the sunset with her. The few times we've traveled she could give an aspirin a headache. But we care about each other and when it ends I'll miss her body; I'll miss her company; yes, I'll miss her drama, and mostly ill miss her. Friends are hard to find.
motorhead,
I wouldn't consider you a classic PL, rather just a guy being true to himself about his emotions, as rick suggests.
A better case could be made for me being a true pathetic loser. I once cut a cheque for $30K to a dancer because I felt guilty for a her being blackballed because of my actions with her in the club. I had a four-month infatuation with a moronic hottie, spending 1000s of $$$ flying across the country to see her. THAT, my friend, is grade A, Prime pathetic behaviour.
In my non-SC life I am a very solid guy, with some real accomplishments to be proud of. Slowly, I am bringing my real character to my SC behaviour, but slowly mind you. I am still capable of being an idiot with a dancer.
I always wondered if, in some of these cases, something similar to transference and counter-transference is what is going on?
@pablo, I know. I read the previous thread, too, but appreciate your investigative journalism. I have serious doubts that Carolynne even exists. But I reserve the right to slobber over any set of tits, no matter who they belong to. I like her portfolio, and I'd probably get dances from many of the owners of those sets.
IMO, A true PL never even considers the possibility that they are one. That's how caught up in everything they are.
Definition of a PL? Me.
“You don’t get to do that. To come into somebody’s life, make them care, and then just check out"
That statement sums up my last two relationships with "civilian" girls I've dated and one of the reasons I'm in this hobby right now. I'm not in this hobby because I have no other options, I'm in this hobby because its fun and there isn't as much of the emotional component. Not that it couldn't happen.
Motor - I wouldn't define you as a PL, I would define you as human and what has happened to you can happen to anyone.
MH, this is called "having a sense of entitlement". The real pathetic losers are the millions who, unlike you, are unable to see how irrational this feeling (that we all get) is. It's the reason we live in a PLS (pathetic loser society).
I take pride in my PL-ness. I understand the game, and play it accordingly.
Thus far I haven't taken the true PL plunge but in the last few days, I've met a couple dancers who I really would like to get to know better...& not just in the biblical sense. The risk of emotional attachment increases once you start to learn what's behind her facade, because there is always the possibility that you'll find a personality you like.
Duomaxwell's & Michellemarie's statements surprise me. I have rarely ever seen a dancer of whom I didn't have reason to expect the "you're just a wallet with a dick" attitude. I saw A LOT of that in Vegas. I don't blame them for it, though. Would expect the job itself to encourage that view of customers.
i fuck, therefore i am... i do exist!!!
Are you the one speaking to the stripper or is the stripper speaking to you? I think it's hard for either the PL or the dancer to have a long relationship without developing some feelings. Only a robot could remain unemotional.