Great Moments in PL History

30 comments

• georgmicrodong

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  11 years ago

  Read my "Pathetic Losers Anonymous" article. :)
• JuiceBox69

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  11 years ago

  Lol.....that's fucking funny
• Alucard

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  11 years ago

  I'm sure all the Assholes here have plenty to relate.
• looneylarry

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  11 years ago

  I cringe to even relate this one. When I was much younger, I had been drinking and was half-way to skunky-drunk. I was aware that I was slurring a few words and my coordination was a bit off--I was relying quite a bit on handrails. I had been tipping several dancers and trying out what I thought were killer lines. I hadn't been getting anything more than some pleasant replies and some "nice" air dances. I lost track of time and it was soon last song. All the dancers came out and they all circulated. I went for broke and zeroed in on a couple of dancers and threw a hail Mary. They were nice but didn't commit to anything. Last song over, dancers went to dressing room, lights came up, bouncers starting moving people out. I loitered and I thought I had a plan. I knew that many of these girls drove up from "the big city" and I thought I'd wait around. The SC didn't have a parking lot, it was all street parking in quiet side streets. So, I waited and the customers all drove away and the dancers started coming out about 20 minutes later. I saw three of them come out in their civvies, carrying the big over-the-shoulder stripper bags. I watched them start to load their car (they were carpooling!) and I made my move. I stumbled over, and slurred that I really liked their show and that I'd buy them breakfast before they hit the road. They looked less perturbed and more alarmed. It took too long for me to get it through my thick head that we weren't going to "hang out", talk shop, "party", or even have a conversation. I tucked my drunken tail and stumbled away.
• gawker

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  11 years ago

  My ATF was putting her belongings in storage so she could go to rehab. I rented a truck and storage unit, paid a high school buddy of my ATF's to help me and we started moving 6 rooms of furniture. Nothing was packed and it was pouring rain and I worked like a rented mule while she and the old boyfriend start smoking crack and shooting dope. We made 3 deliveries, had the truck loaded when she comes walking downstairs wearing just a g-string. The rental place was about to close so I gave her the option of waiting at the house or coming as is. She waited. An hour and a half later we got back to thye house and there's no sign of her. I looked all over the neighborhood and saw 3 or 4 police cruisers slowly driving shining spot lights in the woods. I gotr a call from her "babydaddy" in prison saying she had been picked up by the police. I called the police, a cruiser came by and wanted to know what my role was. Friend of the family. Apparently she got paranoid on the crack and ran through several neighbors houses naked screaming that there were men after her. She was at the local hospital being treated for cuts, scrapes and bruises. Can you picture Fred and Ethel sitting watching Lawrence Welk when a naked blond beauty runs through their house screaming? Bottom line: I talked the cops into not charging her on the condition I get her into rehab that night. I got her there at 3:00 am.
• shadowcat

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  11 years ago

  I was just leaving my hotel to go get some lunch when a stripper that I knew from the club(Columbia Platinum Plus)approached me in the parking lot. After a brief "how are you,etc" she askes me for a ride to a friend's house. I really didn't want to but being a PL I agreed to take her. It was a 15 minute drive and we arrive at the friends house. A trailor in a run down ghetto neighborhood. Then she askes me to wait 5 minutes. WTF? Well I waited and she soon came back out and asked me to drive her back to the hotel. At least it was going back where I wanted to be. As soon as we got on the interstate, she pulls out a baggie and starts snorting coke. Yeah. I had just taken the bitch to her drug dealer. I had been taken advantage of and deceided that I needed repayment and told her to suck my dick. So there I was westbound on I-26 at 65mph with my cock in a strippers mouth and cocaine in my car. That won't happen again.
• motorhead

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  11 years ago

  "Yeah. I had just taken the bitch to her drug dealer" Me too. Been there. Wonder how many of us have. And I knew what she was doing too.
• JuiceBox69

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  11 years ago

  I agree Moterhead
• dalex

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  11 years ago

  See if you guys followed my advice in the other thread, she'd be too scared to try to pull that shit.
• davejones1978

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  11 years ago

  I keep my strippers in the club. If I ever saw one outside randomly I would probably act as if I did not know then. These dancers are strippers for a reason. They are fucked up in the head. I don't need that drama. But ~ to each his own
• Estafador

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  11 years ago

  Shadowcat's story is the funniest. You DEMANDED that bitch to suck that dick. Good job bro. @dalex can we get a link to the thread dalex?
• jester214

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  11 years ago

  Dalex the fat, socially inept, computer geek who just got into strip clubs says you should make them think you're super scary.
• dalex

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  11 years ago

  That's all actually correct except the computer geek part.
• Tiredtraveler

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  11 years ago

  My last fav got into a fued with her roommate that worked at the same club. The roommate threw a shoe into her new flat screen and broke it. They continued the fight at work and she wanted me to take sides. I didn't and when the fight started vandalising each other's stuff including cars I bailed and found another club to hang at before my car became a target.
• Lone_Wolf

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  11 years ago

  Was visiting my ATF at her apt about once or twice a week. One visit I meet her two new stripper roommates. We partied together and the talk was all about love and supporting each other thru hard times. One roommate borrowed ATF's car and wrecked it (hit and run). Two day's later both roommates move out without a word stealing a bunch of ATF's stripper gear. Yep, this white knight bought some stripper shoes.
• deogol

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  11 years ago

  Lone_Wolf: "the talk was all about love and supporting each other thru hard times. " That is a sign right there what to expect.
• Doc_Holliday

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  11 years ago

  I had a dancer tell me she stopped talking to me (for several months) because her coke dealer baby daddy didn't want her to. I think she told me this a couple times before she really stopped. Yet, I met the guy twice and he never said a word to me. He did flash his fat money wad around like that was going to intemidate me. I was like 'please, you got a problem with me or what? I got a pychotic on the Internet trying to off me, get in line.' I stopped anyway, cause I'm not into sharing. But at the age of 31, finding out she had a baby was my first pregnancy scare. Anyhow, that's not a PL story. Only one I got is this dancer I've been trying to get into the pants of for 18 months without sucess. I spent $70 on her birthday (liquor and 2 doz custom cupcakes) and $210 Christmas (spa cert, $30 novelty jewelry and candy). Didn't spend any money in the club on her either of those times, but over the course of 18 months probably $4-5k not including other club activities.
• jester214

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  11 years ago

  "That's all actually correct except the computer geek part." My apologies then, I thought you implied a serious comfort around computers and a computer related career.
• staxwell

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  11 years ago

  "I had been taken advantage of and deceided that I needed repayment and told her to suck my dick." Bow in the presence of greatness!
• dalex

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  11 years ago

  yeah I'm definitely adding that one to my list of rules. Bitch does something wrong? Make her suck your dick as repayment. Boss as shit.
• Revo

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  11 years ago

  Man these stories. I don't know whether to laugh or run for the hills screaming in sheer terror.
• Papi_Chulo

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  11 years ago

  "I had been taken advantage of and deceided that I needed repayment and told her to suck my dick." Yeah – I think shadow handled it as well as it could be handled
• Papi_Chulo

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  11 years ago

  PL moment #1: I had just turned 21, and I’ve always been a late bloomer (which counts in this PL moment). My best bud at the time and I decided to go hit a very hot and popular disco in Miami Beach (I grew up and currently live in Miami); and this was in the late 80s. The women at this disco were outrageous and everyone in town knew it. So as soon as I turned 21, my bud (a year older than me) and I went to the disco. I had been at the disco for about 45 minutes and in awe of the incredible looking women. This club had a reputation for having a lot of high roller cocaine cowboys back in the day – so these big bucks cocaine cowboy hangouts attracted the hottest women in Miami. I was all turned on looking at all the super-hot women in the disco when I see a slim dark haired brunette dancing in a small two piece bikini. She was an entertainer at the club and was dancing in a cage. I noticed this not so good looking chubby guy talking to the entertainer for about 15 mins. and she seemed very receptive to his convo. So after chubby guy left, I made my way over to the cage to try my luck. The girl was hot – slim but with curves . I started talking her up and we spoke for about 10 mins. all the while her stroking my hand and telling me she thought I was very interesting. I then decided to let her continue to do her job and entertain and I went back to where my buddy was. Then all of a sudden, this super-hot chick – a 9.5 (face, hair, body, tanned) comes right up to me and gets really close to my face and tells me: “you know that girl you were talking to – that it is a guy” FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!! I immediately thought the whole club had noticed me talking up a trany – and to top it off; it was a super-hot chick who told me. My face almost fell off in embarrassment as the super-hot chick told me to my face and then walked away. I was standing far away from the exit in the super crowded disco – I literally wanted to go thru the wall to get out of there. My buddy convinced me to stay a bit longer since the club was definitely jumping – but I felt like hanging myself. I can sort off laugh about it now – but when this happened to me just after turning 21 – I felt I was well on my way to PL legend status.
• Papi_Chulo

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  11 years ago

  PL moment #2: Happened last Saturday night. Visited a black dive in Miami which is a dive even by dive standards. Had only been there once before for a short visit about 4 years ago and had been less than impressed and had not returned. Decided to check it last Sat. night just for the heck of it. I hit it off with this older black dancer (all the dancers were black) that had a great body and some of the best big natural breasts I’ve seen in a while. Club closes early on this Sat. night for some reason – it was about 1:30 a.m. and there were only about 12 or so customers (most Miami SCs close about 4 or 5 a.m. especially on weekends). Black dancer and I had been hitting it off and she had been grabbing my dick all night, kissing me; biting my lip; letting me suck her big natural super firm tits; and letting me explore her kitty. Black dancer tells me she is heading down the street (about 5 blocks) to a bar for a late drink and asks me to hang out with her. I said sure – rational thing is it not? So I wait 30 mins. for dancer to come out – the club/parking-lot was almost empty and there I am a white guy sitting alone in my car outside an almost deserted club/area in a really bad part of town (i.e. no whities – especially at this time of night). Black dancer finally comes out with another black dancer friend and tells me to follow them to the bar. I said sure – reasonable is it not? We get to the bar a few blocks away in this high-homicide hood and we park in the back of the bar. I park my car next to black dancer’s car but they don’t get out of their car. Black dancer’s friend (black stripper “colleague”) rolls down the window of their car and starts rolling up a joint. Black dancer and friend start smoking the joint – it is 2:30 in the morning – I am sitting in my car in the back of a bar in a part of town where the only thing that’s white are the markings on the street. Black dancer and stripper friend and I then go into the bar – again I am the only white thing around. We have our drinks, chat for a while, black dancer kissing me and me filling her up a bit. It’s 3:30 a.m., bar closes. We head out the back exit to our cars in the back of the club – our cars are the only ones there. Black dancer and stripper friend get into it. They start getting in each other’s faces and screaming with some real bad ghetto attitude. I thought they were going to go at it. I break it up – white knight (literally). So it’s 3:30 in the morning and I am in the middle of a ghetto squabble *in* the ghetto. I was afraid the ghetto cat fight was going to attract the attention of fellow ghettoers. So I break it up and stripper friend walks off and leaves. It’s just me and black dancer and she is fuming and screaming trying to explain to me why her and stripper friend had gotten into it. All of a sudden a group of 3 black dudes come walking by this now desolate back of the bar barking lot. I started to piss a bit in my pants, black dancer and I were standing outside of our cars at this time and the 3 young black dudes were coming our way. My dick shrunk by about 3 inches in fear and I tell black dancer to get the fuck in her car that we should get out of there. Black dudes walk past us and we drive off. Well - that is the end of this PL story pretty much – except I did meet up w/ black dancer the next day for lunch – but that is a PL story for another time.
• Clackport

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  11 years ago

  Papi- As a black guy myself even I would have been a little worried if I was by myself with a girl at night in a rough part of town when three black dudes come up to you. Both of your stories were definitely entertaining.
• lopaw

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  11 years ago

  LMAO after reading some of these stories I'm taking the 5th on any PL stories.
• rh48hr

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  11 years ago

  These stories are GOLD JERRY! GOLD! I have been LMFAO at this whole thread. Shadow, you da man!
• Revo

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  11 years ago

  This is what makes TUSCL so great. I love these stories. Pure gold!
• Club_Goer_Seattle

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  11 years ago

  There's a common thread to this thread. Most all of the above stories involve a moment of personal embarrassment at the time, but something that the storytellers could get over, and even laugh at later on. I have had numerous humerous moments in and out of strip clubs with strippers, but nothing worthy of posting here. When farmerart gets back from his Hawaii vacation, I hope he'll post something here. He's a great storyteller.
• Estafador

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  11 years ago

  LMFAO. Yo you cool and I respect you PC but DAMN that shit's too funny. " My dick shrunk by about 3 inches in fear..." now that's gold. Ah man, you guys are all hilarious. Now I wanna go to a black dive