Whatever Happened To Common Sense?

farmerart
My Toronto OTC sweetie has been bombarding me with e-mails about a career change she is planning. She is 43, still hot and an exemplary performer in the sack (#2 on my lifetime list). Also very smart (speaks 5 languages and has a degree from a university in Hungary). Her plan is to open a chic boutique of fashions for ladies of 'a certain age'. My sweetie claims to have savings of $500k and is asking me for a further $1mil in financing for this cack-handed venture. JEEZUS!! Businesses like this in Canada have a survivability rate less than that of restaurant start-ups!

If this lady really does have $500k in savings I know a conservative fully hedged oil and gas LP with an after tax return of 8.5% that would be perfect for her. Of course, she will have none of that. I made the mistake of bringing her to Rancho farmerart for a weekend so she knows that I have a few bux after seeing my joint. There is no chance of me pissing away $1mil in this fantasy.

Declining her invitation to invest in this moon shot probably means no sexy holiday with her in Hawaii for me at New Year's this season.

Why does life have to be so complicated?

27 comments

Latest

Dougster
12 years ago
Just say "no". They always act all frumpy when you don't "loan" them money, but then come back to work for it later. There is never any harm down by turning them down for a "loan".

Every stripper knows as well as you that "loaning" money to one is like setting it on fire. They might put on a show but won't take any real offense.

If she is as smart as you claim I bet you can talk her into that 8.5% oil fund.
Club_Goer_Seattle
12 years ago
I'm into just a tiny fraction of what your fave asked you for a loan or investment. My advice: Never loan money to a dancer. I've been stiffed too many times, and most of those dancers were never seen again after the "loan" was made.
Dougster
12 years ago
My rule is loan them no more than $100, and do that only if they are working regularly for you already, and you can slice $20 out of their pay each time in installments. Even then, remember strippers can drop off the grid at any time, and it could all go toast. So just be ready to swallow the entire $100 loss.
Experimental
12 years ago
Meh. Time to bounce to the next stripper. She must really think her pussy addled your brain!
Dougster
12 years ago
See if she just disappears to Hungary if you did lend her the mill. Nothing to think about here. Srsly!
motorhead
12 years ago
• Speaks 5 languages
• 43 and great in bed
• Smart
• $500k in the bank

Sounds lke perfect marriage material for old farmerart.

Ready to settle down?
jackslash
12 years ago
Most people seem to have little common sense when it comes to investing. They don't know how to weigh the risks and rewards, and they think hoping for something really hard will make it come true.

The other day I waited in line 5 minutes behind a poor-looking guy who was buying instant lotto tickets one after another. He did not win.
girlmoneys
12 years ago
The lottery is just a tax on the math impaired
pabloantonio
12 years ago
One of the clubs I go to allows the girls to "charge" their club "fees".

One of my favs "owes" the club just over $800. She wanted me to loan her the money. I politely declined, but made the pitch that she could earn "extra" money with me.

So far no answer yes or no.
farmerart
12 years ago
@motorhead,

I don't believe for a moment that this lady has $500k in savings.

As for marrying her? Not a friggin' chance! The week with her in Hawaii last year stretched my patience enough. 24/7 with her?.......I would probably kill myself.
vincemichaels
12 years ago
Glad to hear you don't want to marry this woman. I never let a woman hogtie me and life has been good.
rickdugan
12 years ago
Well, there is really no such thing as a "fully hedged" oil and gas LP that returns 8.5% after taxes. Otherwise, the cost of hedging would eat up all of the risk premium paid earned on the investment and there is no way that a double digit pre-tax return would be possible.

But putting that aside for a second, your point that there are better ways to invest her (and most especially your own) money is spot on in mu humble opinion.

Just how much is that good pussy worth? I'm guessing not $1mm. ;)

It sounds like she's just trying to work all of her angles. Who knows if she even has any intention of opening this business up, but of course the risk of fraud could be handled through contracts, reasonable due diligence and, of course, escrow accounts. And if she does indeed have a novel idea that might actually make a splash, maybe it might be worth a look? But if you did ever actually get crazy enough to front the bulk of the money for this type of operation, then you would be even crazier if you did not insist on a controlling interest in the venture.

Anyway, just my two cents and good luck.
deogol
12 years ago
Once and only once loaned a stripper money. No, I did not get paid back. So much for being the nice guy...
farmerart
12 years ago
rick, of course you are right about the oil and gas LP. I was imprecise with my language. When I said "fully hedged" all I meant was that the operating partner is not taking the spot price for the commodity. Increased drilling only occurs when the 5 year forwards give the operators the required profit margin on the commodity. At current production levels this operation has an estimated reserve life of a little over 9 years, with an undrilled land position of about 8,000 hectares. The real sweet little kicker with this deal is the tax position since the land position is aboriginal-owned. Giving up a few points of profit to the band is rewarded nicely by the tax breaks granted to the operator and the partners. Payout fluctuates with commodity prices. The current high payout is a reflection of buoyant nat gas liquids prices (nat gas in this play is heavy in liquids). The operating partner is selling no new units.

Whew! All that to put off some silly investment discussion hijack.

The original point of the topic was just to show the thinking of a veteran stripper. I repeat - I will not be having any part of this dancer's preposterous scheme.
shadowcat
12 years ago
I'd loan money to juicebox before a stripper and that ain't gonna happen. :)
vincemichaels
12 years ago
LMAO, shadowcat
looneylarry
12 years ago
art, just goes to show that the leopards don't change their spots. The pitch is the same--she sized you up and thought she could get you for $1 M. She would size me up and shoot for $200. Same game, only bigger stakes for you.
jackslash
12 years ago
Strippers never have enough money to repay loans, but they have enough to buy shoes, drugs and big screen TV's.
vincemichaels
12 years ago
Not to mention this very nice condo one dancer I knew was living in. I wondered who was making the payments on that one.
rickdugan
12 years ago
Farmer, I am equally uninterested in an discussion about investments while on this thing. ;)

Bit I WILL say that your ROI on this 43 year old is bad. I have no doubt that a suitable replacement could be found.
Dougster
12 years ago
"I am equally uninterested in an discussion about investments while on this thing"

But we have treasury geniuses here like tittyfuck. We need to know if we should hold or take profits here. Could hinge on whether it not tax rates on treasury interest will change (LMFAO!)

Come on Rick, despite your argument about hedging above, tittyfuck has come up with a way to provide a "risk free" (I.e. fully hedged) short treasuries position that will yield 4%/year. This despite the fact that the 30y yield is 2.73 today. Now I say it's impossible because if there are such a scheme everyone would plow into it instead of treasuries, but tittyfuck insists it can be done. Details however he either cannot or will not provide (and I'll put my money on "cannot" don't know about you).
jester214
12 years ago
Ask to see the financials, should be entertaining just for her response.

Points for originality.
Lone_Wolf
12 years ago
On Stripperweb, some of the dancers brag how much a PL loser will give them just for asking. Cars, Money, houses. Fuck it. I guess it doesn't hurt to roll the dice. She goes high and if she gets a fraction of that she nailed it.

I've learned the hard way too. Its just hard to say no to someone your intimate with in their time of supposed (bullshit) need.
carolynne
12 years ago
farmerart, i hate to say it but u r the one with no common sense, even thinking she might be serious about opening a boutique.
Clubber
12 years ago
Let's see...

vm says, "I never let a woman hogtie me and life has been good." I think that implies he was the cash to do what he wishes.

Then he states, "Not to mention this very nice condo one dancer I knew was living in. I wondered who was making the payments on that one."

I think I know who. :)



vincemichaels
12 years ago
Who, Clubber?? It wasn't me!! I shudder any time I think about what they must have been.
Clubber
12 years ago
You know who I meant, vm. :)
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