Whatever Happened To Common Sense?
My Toronto OTC sweetie has been bombarding me with e-mails about a career change she is planning. She is 43, still hot and an exemplary performer in the sack (#2 on my lifetime list). Also very smart (speaks 5 languages and has a degree from a university in Hungary). Her plan is to open a chic boutique of fashions for ladies of 'a certain age'. My sweetie claims to have savings of $500k and is asking me for a further $1mil in financing for this cack-handed venture. JEEZUS!! Businesses like this in Canada have a survivability rate less than that of restaurant start-ups!
If this lady really does have $500k in savings I know a conservative fully hedged oil and gas LP with an after tax return of 8.5% that would be perfect for her. Of course, she will have none of that. I made the mistake of bringing her to Rancho farmerart for a weekend so she knows that I have a few bux after seeing my joint. There is no chance of me pissing away $1mil in this fantasy.
Declining her invitation to invest in this moon shot probably means no sexy holiday with her in Hawaii for me at New Year's this season.
Why does life have to be so complicated?
If this lady really does have $500k in savings I know a conservative fully hedged oil and gas LP with an after tax return of 8.5% that would be perfect for her. Of course, she will have none of that. I made the mistake of bringing her to Rancho farmerart for a weekend so she knows that I have a few bux after seeing my joint. There is no chance of me pissing away $1mil in this fantasy.
Declining her invitation to invest in this moon shot probably means no sexy holiday with her in Hawaii for me at New Year's this season.
Why does life have to be so complicated?
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27 comments
Every stripper knows as well as you that "loaning" money to one is like setting it on fire. They might put on a show but won't take any real offense.
If she is as smart as you claim I bet you can talk her into that 8.5% oil fund.
• 43 and great in bed
• Smart
• $500k in the bank
Sounds lke perfect marriage material for old farmerart.
Ready to settle down?
The other day I waited in line 5 minutes behind a poor-looking guy who was buying instant lotto tickets one after another. He did not win.
One of my favs "owes" the club just over $800. She wanted me to loan her the money. I politely declined, but made the pitch that she could earn "extra" money with me.
So far no answer yes or no.
I don't believe for a moment that this lady has $500k in savings.
As for marrying her? Not a friggin' chance! The week with her in Hawaii last year stretched my patience enough. 24/7 with her?.......I would probably kill myself.
But putting that aside for a second, your point that there are better ways to invest her (and most especially your own) money is spot on in mu humble opinion.
Just how much is that good pussy worth? I'm guessing not $1mm. ;)
It sounds like she's just trying to work all of her angles. Who knows if she even has any intention of opening this business up, but of course the risk of fraud could be handled through contracts, reasonable due diligence and, of course, escrow accounts. And if she does indeed have a novel idea that might actually make a splash, maybe it might be worth a look? But if you did ever actually get crazy enough to front the bulk of the money for this type of operation, then you would be even crazier if you did not insist on a controlling interest in the venture.
Anyway, just my two cents and good luck.
Whew! All that to put off some silly investment discussion hijack.
The original point of the topic was just to show the thinking of a veteran stripper. I repeat - I will not be having any part of this dancer's preposterous scheme.
Bit I WILL say that your ROI on this 43 year old is bad. I have no doubt that a suitable replacement could be found.
But we have treasury geniuses here like tittyfuck. We need to know if we should hold or take profits here. Could hinge on whether it not tax rates on treasury interest will change (LMFAO!)
Come on Rick, despite your argument about hedging above, tittyfuck has come up with a way to provide a "risk free" (I.e. fully hedged) short treasuries position that will yield 4%/year. This despite the fact that the 30y yield is 2.73 today. Now I say it's impossible because if there are such a scheme everyone would plow into it instead of treasuries, but tittyfuck insists it can be done. Details however he either cannot or will not provide (and I'll put my money on "cannot" don't know about you).
Points for originality.
I've learned the hard way too. Its just hard to say no to someone your intimate with in their time of supposed (bullshit) need.
vm says, "I never let a woman hogtie me and life has been good." I think that implies he was the cash to do what he wishes.
Then he states, "Not to mention this very nice condo one dancer I knew was living in. I wondered who was making the payments on that one."
I think I know who. :)