This is my first article and it is just a random article about a problem I have been experiencing as a dancer. I tend to have my customers fall in love with me because of my charming personality. (haha). (Maybe it's lust, who knows). I do not do this on purpose. It always seems to happen though and now it is becoming a huge problem. I am the type of dancer that does not hustle. I suck at hustling because I am too honest of a person to do that. I do tend to develop a rapport with my customers. They enjoy my company and always come back for dances however they now want more. I've told them upfront that I do not date because I have not the time or desire to do so. They then ask about out call. (I'm not going to discuss this because it is illegal). Now they want me as their girlfriend and I think I will lose them as a customer if I keep telling them no but I have no desire to date any of them. I do care for them as a dear friend but not as a boyfriend.
How does one keep the customer as a customer only without hurting his feelings? I am struggling with this. They all want to date and I do not. This is a downside of dancing because we want to please everyone but at the same time do not want to appear too pleasing.
Be honest, be a bit more business like, make sure he see's you do exactly what you do with him with the next random customer who walks in. You can't even be honest here - "I do care for them as a dear friend" I call bullshit. Maybe he's customer who you do genuinely enjoy spending an hour or so with or more likely one who's less objectionable than most, I doubt you really count him among your "dear" friends. If I'm wrong - why not date the guy?
You can develop a rapport with your customers while keeping your distance. Don't be so personal, don't ask for favors or act like your doing them. Don't linger around just chatting and never ask about a dance. That doesn't mean walk up "wanna dance" and walk away, sit/chat/flirt/whatever - but at some point make the move or move on.
You will loose some customers with my approach. I suspect I'm not representative of the majority of strip clubbers. I do think we're an under served market though. While I acknowledge the remote possibility a "genuine" relationship may develop the reality is much more likely a pleasant, if pointless, conversation followed by a couple dances.
As a customer, I get annoyed with the exact opposite - dancers trying to make me think they want to date me. It seems the businesslike strippers are a dying breed, or at least I've lost my ability to find them. It used to be if a stripper offered up her number she was either looking for OTC or setting up comms to sync up at work and it was a straightforward exchange: "call me and we'll hook up" or "let me know when you're coming in." Nowadays it's "ooh, you should call me and we'll do drinks or something."
I see nothing wrong with having a "Friend with Benefits" relationship between a dancer & a patron if that is something agreeable to both persons & works for them.
"They then ask about out call. (I'm not going to discuss this because it is illegal)'
Illegal or not, this may be the only way to keep some as customers or as a "Friend with Benefits". If they guys don't like that approach, then you may have to cast them aside.
A COLD 100% Business approach by a dancer won't keep ME returning as a patron. As to other guys, that is their call.
I'm going through this right now I thank....I was going to post a discussion from the customers view point but instead I will try 2 just answer your question "babe"......for me I like a good hustle wear this biz crosses the line....I like it in the grey but the problem is you could be getting paid or not in the grey.....the guy feels like he is dating you instead of being a customer.....this is nice but at the same time you know you need to get paid......behing honest tho the best aproch is honesty ! Lol ya I know.....but it will cause less heart ach and you will get the guys you need that will pay you for what you will and will not do......look at this like a filtering system......their is always some one out their that will buy your product/services you just need to find them amoungst all the crap.......you don't do extras then say you don't and stick 2 your guns....yes this will cause those extras guys to leave and go else wear but now you will be left with a cliental that will pay you for non extras and they know that will be it.......if you don't date then be strait up.....now with all this said ya you could lie but all its going to do is drag shit out.....you may or may not get paid and you will be giving bull shit as well as reseving bullshit until thangs blows up in your face then you lose the custmer.....the best idea I believe is to now what kind of girl/dancer your going to be and just be straight forward and honest
Don't date customers just because you want to keep them as customers. That would be ridiculous. And unfair to them. You may lose some customers if you refuse to do OTC for pay, but I don't think you'll lose them if you refuse to "date" them in the traditional sense.
Honesty is the best policy. Just don't date them at all, and take the risk of losing them as customers. Many guys are hard headed, and will continue to come to the club to see you anyway. At least you can feel vindicated because you told them the truth.
To do otherwise, will hurt their feelings, your money, and perhaps create an ugly situation that could have easily been avoided. If you don't want to date them, don't lead them on!
Honesty is the best policy. Just don't date them at all, and take the risk of losing them as customers. Many guys are hard headed, and will continue to come to the club to see you anyway. At least you can feel vindicated because you told them the truth.
To do otherwise, will hurt their feelings, your money, and perhaps create an ugly situation that could have easily been avoided. If you don't want to date them, don't lead them on!
"Many guys are hard headed, and will continue to come to the club to see you anyway. At least you can feel vindicated because you told them the truth.'
You got that right - not that I would know anything about that personally, lol.
Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance... *YEAH!*
@dancer_g, I'm in agreement with all the comments which say "be honest"....Personally, I subscribe to a "keep it real, or keep it moving" philosophy....
Sure, you MAY lose some potential Customer's by level setting them with truth - but given your charms (yes, inclusive of personality) there will always be a long line of guys moving up in the queue....and, maybe you're just weeding out guys that are not likely worth your time in the long run anyway....Speaking for myself, given the choice, I'd much rather spend my time (secularly or otherwise) with quality, higher caliber, "charachter" people....This includes my "club relationships"....
I'll also climb in on the "be honest" wagon. For the most part, you don't *want* to date our customers, because they're pretty much only there for your body, and care about your personality only as far as you avoid being a hustling bitch. Us perverts will fall all over you if you offer up even the semblance of sincere politeness.
Whatever limits you set on your behaviour, level of contact and conduct with customers, you're going to upset and/or disappoint some of them (both because you won't go far enough, and because you go too far), so set those limits where *you* want and stick to them.
For specific strategies, I suggest that you solicit responses from some of the dancers who hang out here, especially Stiletto25 and rfcookie. They seem to have their heads on straight, even if they won't visit Louisville for the sole purpose of hooking up with me.
" For the most part, you don't *want* to date our customers, because they're pretty much only there for your body, and care about your personality only as far as you avoid being a hustling bitch. Us perverts will fall all over you if you offer up even the semblance of sincere politeness"
Speak for yourself gmd. I DON'T fall into your stereotype. THX
Not all customers want dates and extras. There a plenty of guys who want good dances and that's all. You will lose the dogs as customers, but cultivate the ones who respect your boundaries. If you wish to spare feelings, just advise the customer that the law and the managers rules prevent dating. When he says everyone else does it, tell him "I'm too pretty to do time in jail."
Probably not what you want to hear but a lot of these comments although crude are correct:) I know when I become a regular of a dancer it is my intent to eventually get her to do an outcall or have a friends with benefits type of relationship. If after a while nothing happens after a while I probably move on to someone else. Just the honest facts.
"my intent to eventually get her to do an outcall or have a friends with benefits type of relationship"
That is my intent also with my ATF. BUT I won't just toss her aside like garbage if things don't progress all the way to a "Friend with Benefits" relationship. I'mm having TOO much fun & Fabulous SEX to do that. But I'm also NOT the type of guy that MUST have variety ALL the time.
There seems to be some bitter & cynical members here based on some comments I've read lately. [You're excluded from the comment gmd - :) ]
"There seems to be some bitter & cynical members here based on some comments I've read lately. [You're excluded from the comment gmd - :) ]"
Well, you can exclude me from the "bitter" side of that (though it hasn't always been so), but I remain cynical about many of the people here, and the subjects they raise. :)
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You can develop a rapport with your customers while keeping your distance. Don't be so personal, don't ask for favors or act like your doing them. Don't linger around just chatting and never ask about a dance. That doesn't mean walk up "wanna dance" and walk away, sit/chat/flirt/whatever - but at some point make the move or move on.
You will loose some customers with my approach. I suspect I'm not representative of the majority of strip clubbers. I do think we're an under served market though. While I acknowledge the remote possibility a "genuine" relationship may develop the reality is much more likely a pleasant, if pointless, conversation followed by a couple dances.
As a customer, I get annoyed with the exact opposite - dancers trying to make me think they want to date me. It seems the businesslike strippers are a dying breed, or at least I've lost my ability to find them. It used to be if a stripper offered up her number she was either looking for OTC or setting up comms to sync up at work and it was a straightforward exchange: "call me and we'll hook up" or "let me know when you're coming in." Nowadays it's "ooh, you should call me and we'll do drinks or something."
"They then ask about out call. (I'm not going to discuss this because it is illegal)'
Illegal or not, this may be the only way to keep some as customers or as a "Friend with Benefits". If they guys don't like that approach, then you may have to cast them aside.
A COLD 100% Business approach by a dancer won't keep ME returning as a patron. As to other guys, that is their call.
To do otherwise, will hurt their feelings, your money, and perhaps create an ugly situation that could have easily been avoided. If you don't want to date them, don't lead them on!
To do otherwise, will hurt their feelings, your money, and perhaps create an ugly situation that could have easily been avoided. If you don't want to date them, don't lead them on!
You got that right - not that I would know anything about that personally, lol.
Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance... *YEAH!*
Sure, you MAY lose some potential Customer's by level setting them with truth - but given your charms (yes, inclusive of personality) there will always be a long line of guys moving up in the queue....and, maybe you're just weeding out guys that are not likely worth your time in the long run anyway....Speaking for myself, given the choice, I'd much rather spend my time (secularly or otherwise) with quality, higher caliber, "charachter" people....This includes my "club relationships"....
Whatever limits you set on your behaviour, level of contact and conduct with customers, you're going to upset and/or disappoint some of them (both because you won't go far enough, and because you go too far), so set those limits where *you* want and stick to them.
For specific strategies, I suggest that you solicit responses from some of the dancers who hang out here, especially Stiletto25 and rfcookie. They seem to have their heads on straight, even if they won't visit Louisville for the sole purpose of hooking up with me.
Speak for yourself gmd. I DON'T fall into your stereotype. THX
Sheesh!
The body language used in strip clubs is all about seduction. I wouldn't be surprised if someone who is not bitter and cynical gets confused.
That is my intent also with my ATF. BUT I won't just toss her aside like garbage if things don't progress all the way to a "Friend with Benefits" relationship. I'mm having TOO much fun & Fabulous SEX to do that. But I'm also NOT the type of guy that MUST have variety ALL the time.
There seems to be some bitter & cynical members here based on some comments I've read lately. [You're excluded from the comment gmd - :) ]
Yes, that would be me. I am not happy about it either, but it is the only place I have got to go to.
Well, you can exclude me from the "bitter" side of that (though it hasn't always been so), but I remain cynical about many of the people here, and the subjects they raise. :)