The perfect place to locate a strip club?

avatar for mal_hodgson
mal_hodgson
Minnesota
If you could ignore zoning, government regulations and generally uptight attitudes about sex. Where would you pick to build a strip club? I know where I would, and if I could do it I think I'd be a rich man.

I travel alot for work, and years ago (pre 9/11), I was sitting in an airport on a long layover, watching the pretty scenery walk by (airports are great for watching chicks by the way), when it hit me that a busy airport would be the ultimate strip club location!

All the business travel would provide a steady stream of customers. Plus they are already away from home and ready for some fun. They would purposely schedule long layovers if an airport had an especially good club. What do you think? Any other ideas out there?

25 comments

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avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
13 years ago
Sure. Here's a spot. An EPA Superfund site. Won't be terribly concerned that the significant other would drop by to check up on us strip-club denizens. :)
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
13 years ago
245 Murray Drive,
Building 410,
Washington, DC 20223
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
Clubber - That won't work. Too much competition from Colombia.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
Heaven (or Hell depending on which way you go) because eternity is a long ass time
avatar for Ermita_Nights
Ermita_Nights
13 years ago
One problem is that you have to go through security to get to it. Another problem is that airports shut down early. And airport authorities are usually very corrupt. Actually that might be an advantage because the club owner could get away with anything for the right bribe.
avatar for sanitago
sanitago
13 years ago
a more practical suggestion: near the intersection of a couple of major interstates. traffic nearly 24/7, so if you've got a sign where it can be seen from both roads, you've got a huge potential customer base (to paraphrase the line: "What happens on the road, stays on the road!"). as long as there's an access road not to far from the interchange, it's not going to be a problem for any of those customers to take a break from their 'exhausting' drive and drop some cold, hard $$$$ in your till.
now *that* would be a potential goldmine!
avatar for inno123
inno123
13 years ago
I agree that airports have high rents and generally don't keep late hours and are expensive parking for locals. On the other hand there are lots of good clubs near airports for much the same reason.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
13 years ago
Parchman, Mississippi
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
13 years ago
sanitago,

The ones I've seen by the Interstates are never busy. Although I've not seen one near an Interstate intersection. I have stopped in one once and quickly left.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
13 years ago
Parking Garage!

Seriously, this is something I've thought a lot about. (Yes, a look into the horrifying mind of Book Guy ...) The thought first occurred to me when I parked at the Houston Galleria parking lot and, after shopping in the mall a bit, then walked around the corner to (a) The Men's Club and (b) Treasures (longer walk). I thought, "Hey, if only I walk unnoticed indoors from garage to club, it wouldn't be a walk-of-shame ..."

Ideal location is the middle of a major central-business-district parking garage. One of those giant garages that has fifteen floors of cars and six entrances and exits and takes up the bottom half of a whole city block. The kind of place that has signs on the inside that say, "Cermak Street, next left; Interstate 590, next right" next to the spiral car-exit gangways. Just take over 100 parking spaces in the middle, ventilate it well, and put in some plumbing!

You could put the club smack in the middle, and it would still use the same entrances and exits for parking as the "real" garage does. You could put the club over to one side, where it could have a side with windows, a street exit (and ventilation from exhaust fumes!), and maybe a neon sign, or you could keep it utterly secret in the center of the building.

This arrangement allows gentlemen to drop in to the club before / during / after work, nobody knows. Allows dancers pretty good security for their trip from car to club, no problems with nosey obsessed customers. (In fact, she could have it "valet" style parked for her by Bluto, who'd just have to write down the number and floor of the parking place.) Enables the customers to have an easy excuse if the wifey calls unexpectedly, he can just tell her he's re still at the building at work. If she threatens to come over and check up on him, he can run quick upstairs to his office; even if she comes over unannounced, she won't find him, but if he knows she's on the prowl, he can still sneak into the office behind her back and say he was in the office toilet.

Aids in the service industry in many ways! Dancers who do outside-the-club tricks have a ready and easily accessible set of private cubicles in which to do the nasty upstairs in the various offices; and dancers who do inside-the-club services have a better chance that a client will keep a specific appointment that he's made, so they can book their time more effectively; and dancers who actually want a "real" outside-the-club date with a customer have a way to confirm where the customer works, and can meet with and then depart from the customer without all that freakout over whether he's found out too many personal details, since the two "met" at a location that is "workplace" for BOTH of them!

I really think I'm onto something here ...
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
13 years ago
My Company would fire anyone on the spot if they got caught or probably suspected of doing something that could harm the ethics or public perception of the company. Kind of like the secret service can't have fun on their off time but not that bad. They would not go for strippers having access to do who knows what in the cubicles. Unless of course the boss was in on it as long as he didn't get caught.
avatar for carl95
carl95
13 years ago
In or next to a high end outlet mall.

They can wander around and blow wads of cash on purses and shoes. We can sit around and blow wads and cash on strippers. win/win

And I bet we would still spend less than they do.
avatar for 3LeggedMan
3LeggedMan
13 years ago
Parking garage? Really?? Would you want to be there at 2:00 A.M.? I'll pass.
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
13 years ago
I don't know why being next to the Interstate would be a bad idea, as long as it is in or close to a major population center.

I personally was thinking the local shopping mall myself.
avatar for BadBitchesOnly
BadBitchesOnly
13 years ago
Right beside a club that has long lines where I can take in the overflow. I'll take sloppy seconds.
avatar for JuiceBox69
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Jucies house !
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
13 years ago
What's the cover, ma man? I'll be there !!
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
13 years ago
The perfect place to locate a strip club? One mile from my house.
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
13 years ago
Next to the airport with a free shuttle every 15 min. with secure carry-on storage. Or right next the businessman's hotel area.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
It seems, from what I've heard, that The PlayHouse which is right next to Detroit Metro is doing poorly.
avatar for JuiceBox69
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Vince bro its fuckin free just like all fuckin clubs should be !
avatar for likes2look
likes2look
13 years ago
Across the street from my house. I'm tired of driving an hour to the nearest (not very good) club,
avatar for 10inches
10inches
13 years ago
I agree with the idea of putting a club in an airport terminal. have spent too many hours sitting around O'hare or Atl waiting for a flight. could be open 24/7. cater to passengers not the locals.
avatar for glen_livet
glen_livet
13 years ago
LOL - just reading the question before I even opened the thread I thought "Airport"
avatar for glen_livet
glen_livet
13 years ago
LOL - just reading the question before I even opened the thread I thought "Airport"
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