Do You Prefer to be Approached or Be the One Who Approaches ?

27 comments

• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  Depends. I know some here think approaching a dancer screams "desperate," but if I see someone I like and she's not noticing me, I don't have any problem trying to determine if that's deliberate or happenstance.
• rh48hr

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  13 years ago

  I usually prefer a dancer to come to me. In my last sc visit, I waited an hour for the dancer I wanted to come to me (small club, not a lot of dancers that fit my tastes). But ohhh was it worth it. I have also been to clubs where the standard practice is you have to approach the dancer.
  
  The only time I will approach the dancer is when a club is busy and if I don't approach them, I may not get any dances. OR if I have had dances with them before and I want to grab them before anyone else does.
• Blue42TX

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  13 years ago

  If I see a girl I like, I usually look at her direction and smile and she'll get the hint. Also, I would tip a girl I like nicely on stage and asked her there. As for just walking up to her and asked, I tried that a few times and the dance was not good. Maybe the girl was not in the mood and that point...dunno.
• JacksonEsskay

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  13 years ago

  As a rule, I wait for dancers to come by and offer to sit and chat. However, If I see a dancer I know I will want to get a LD from, I will go to her. I usually get one or two dances then suggest we go back to the main room to take a break . . . this is a money stretching technique and it usually works unless the club is very busy and she has regulars to attend to.
• HB13

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  13 years ago

  I prefer to do the approaching. I'll tip them on the stage & invite them over to a back table.
  
  Unless of course a girl looks at me, I flash my pearly whites & she gives me bedroom eyes & comes on over. Otherwise my gold-digger spider sense just screams.
• motorhead

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  13 years ago

  I wait for them. If I see someone I really want a dance with I will tip her on stage. But I still wait for her to approach. Usually works.
  
  Just my opinion but dancers like to say "this is my job". I think part of her job is to ask the customers not the other way around. If my tipping her on stage isn't enough to let her know I'm interested, there are plenty o' fish in the lake.
  
  
• lopaw

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  13 years ago

  I prefer to have them approach me, but I also have no problem in chasing them around the club if I have to. Some dancers are so popular that if you want any time with them at all, you gotta be the hunter. But given the choice I'd rather them come to me.
• mjx01

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  13 years ago

  It doesn't make a difference to me. Although, IME the way the club is step can be a big factor in which works best. There are 'no hussle' clubs where you have to approach the girls. Some PA and OR clubs I've been to are just run that way. @lowpaw makes a great point. There are some girls who are so popular, that you will never get with them if you don't approach them.
  
  However, letting the dancers approach you is easier, and you don't have to worry about interru[ting her with someone else.
• nick6090

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  13 years ago

  I like doing the stage tipping and asking a dancer for a dance while she is on stage if I enjoy her stage tip. Kind of the idea that if a dancer will put good effort in a $1 stage tip then she will put some good effort in a more expensive lap dance later. I don't like having to walk up to her and I don't like having her just randomly walk up to me.
• DandyDan

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  13 years ago

  I much prefer having them approach me than the other way around. I don't see why I should have to move in order to get someone to come to me. OTOH, in some clubs, you have to approach them or else.
• farmerart

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  13 years ago

  I am aggressive in pursuing my chosen dancers during my club visits. I strongly disagree with those that say by pursuing dancers you are putting yourself in a position of pathetic neediness in the dancers' eyes.
  
  During my long career of doing deals in the oil patch I quickly learned that only the big aggressive sharks get the choice prey. I never cared to dine on the bloody chum that the big boys left behind as they moved through my world.
  
  One caveat - some dancers may find this approach intimidating or creepy. Upping the ante with more $$$$ almost always wins over these girls.
• jackslash

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  13 years ago

  I find it best to approach the dancers and tip them. Remember, strippers are not mind readers. They don't know if you like them unless you show them.
• Clubber

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  13 years ago

  Leave me the f&%# alone! If I wish company/dance/whatever, they will know it by my actions (tipping). Oh, and eye "heavy" eye contact helps, also.
• 59

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  13 years ago

  As Jack said they are not mind readers. I generally prefer approaching them, via the tipping on stage or smile and eye contact (and hand wave if they're a little dense or their eyesight isn't great!).
  
  Gotta keep in mind that some of these girls are very shy. A former fave was one of the hottest strippers with great stage shows at OG in Vegas. She had so many guys ask her for dances that it wasn't much of a problem. But she could never work up the nerve to ask guys for dances, or even approach unless encouraged.
  
  Another recent fave, same issues. This girl wasn't in the same category in terms of looks or stage ability. I was getting ready to leave one day on a slow day for her and out of the blue she asked me for a dance. I was floored and told her "See, that wasn't so hard." She's since "retired", couldn't get over the shyness issue.
  
  If I hadn't asked these girls, never would have had the ensuing fun times.
• gatorfan

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  13 years ago

  I prefer the stripper to do the approaching. I don't make very much walking around the tip rail for dollars.
• mjx01

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  13 years ago

  farmerart & 59: excellent points.
• GoVikings

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  13 years ago

  georgemicrodong covered it.
• motorhead

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  13 years ago

  Let me add another perspective. Sometimes I've been a mini-whale. Tied up the best girl in the club for an entire night. I've watched as guys approached the dancer as she headed back to the dressing room for a break - only to be turned down by the girl. I don't want this happening to me. If the girl turned me down it would really make me more of a PL than I already am.
• big_d_2011

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  13 years ago

  I prefer for her to approach me. I will let them know I am interested by either tipping or giving heavy eye contact but I don't approach them. I don't care if it is a 10, if they don't approach me, I will just spend my money on someone else.
• reignfire

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  13 years ago

  When I started going to clubs approx. ten year ago, it was the norm for dancers to approach you. In the past few year though, it has completly gone in the other direction. Now you have to impress & convince dancers to see you and give you dances. It's hard for me to approach dancers because I've never had to do it before. If someone was in my place of work, then I should make myself available to them. If the strip club is some dancers' place of work then they should make themselves available to the customers.
  
  I've been pursing two dancers right now with no success in sight for the foreseeable future. I've even asked one dancer two or three times for dances onstage. She said she would get with me after she's finished with a customer but she either left or she stayed with a customer for so long that I left. I know that some dancers are very popular and can get tied up with regulars/customers quickly but there are other times that they AREN'T busy so why should I have to approach them when I've already tipped them onstage and asked them to come see me SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE??? Last week, the other dancer I've been pursuing came to the club very early with there being a few customers there. When she came back out, she stood four or five feet in front of me. I sat there waiting for her to say hey aren't you the guy who keeps tipping me and asking me to sit with him but she said nothing and walked away to do her set. I still tipped her three or four more times but she only came to me when a friend of mine, who was also her customer, was hanging around me. I hate having to bend over backwards for dancers just so they can just dance for me for money. There's something just backwards about having to approach dancers for dances.
• reignfire

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  13 years ago

  When I started going to clubs approx. ten year ago, it was the norm for dancers to approach you. In the past few year though, it has completly gone in the other direction. Now you have to impress & convince dancers to see you and give you dances. It's hard for me to approach dancers because I've never had to do it before. If someone was in my place of work, then I should make myself available to them. If the strip club is some dancers' place of work then they should make themselves available to the customers.
  
  I've been pursing two dancers right now with no success in sight for the foreseeable future. I've even asked one dancer two or three times for dances onstage. She said she would get with me after she's finished with a customer but she either left or she stayed with a customer for so long that I left. I know that some dancers are very popular and can get tied up with regulars/customers quickly but there are other times that they AREN'T busy so why should I have to approach them when I've already tipped them onstage and asked them to come see me SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE??? Last week, the other dancer I've been pursuing came to the club very early with there being a few customers there. When she came back out, she stood four or five feet in front of me. I sat there waiting for her to say hey aren't you the guy who keeps tipping me and asking me to sit with him but she said nothing and walked away to do her set. I still tipped her three or four more times but she only came to me when a friend of mine, who was also her customer, was hanging around me. I hate having to bend over backwards for dancers just so they can just dance for me for money. There's something just backwards about having to approach dancers for dances.
• shadowcat

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  13 years ago

  reignfire - Alice and or Twilight?
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  @reignfire: For me, that kind of neglect would fall under my "deliberate" category. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action. Move on.
• uscue13

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  13 years ago

  I prefer them to approach, and typically make my interest noticed by tipping. However, I'm not a fan of getting approached as soon as I enter. I like to get a lay of the land first, even to the clubs I go to regularly.
  
  reignfire, I've experienced that plenty of times myself, and also know at least one is on purpose although i don't know why.
• Papi_Chulo

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  13 years ago

  @reignfire:
  
  That used to happen to me also quite a bit. For me, I think it may have been b/c:
  
  1) It happened to me when I was younger. Now that I am older and "uglier", I may look like more easy prey and thus get approached more often.
  2) I Lived in Dallas for ~10 yrs (until late 2009) and I would visit Baby Dolls often. I would often get bypassed by dancers and I would see them choose older guys who were well dressed and looked like they had $$$.
  
  Also, if you go to a popular club and at peak hours (i.e. lots of customers), then it's a sellers (i.e. dancer's) market and the dancers know whom to choose to maximize their profits.
• reignfire

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  13 years ago

  Wow guys, thanks for the responses. I really appreciate the support.
  
  Shadowcat - it's neither Alice nor Twilight. I know who Alice is but she's not my type and I'm not her type. I don't know who Twilight is.
  
  UPDATE - I went to your favorite club on Presidents Day where one of the two dancers I mentioned was there. I tipped her and right after I did, she said she remembered promising to find me and that she was sorry for forgetting me. She blamed it mostly on the alcohol but she did said that she can be forgetful at times. That day she only had one drink and would come to see me after her set. After her set was done...she actually came up and talked to me!!! We talked for a bit before I asked for some dances and she agreed. We went to the couch room, she told me that she wasn't sure how to approach me and that she didn't know if it was okay for her to come up and talk to me. I told her it was always okay for her to come to me and to see if I wanted dances and that I may get some from her. We did two long dances which were pretty enjoyable. Nice grindage on her part. I think she may have enjoyed it too--as she was putting her heels back on, I heard her mutter under her breath that her panties were wet! We went back to the bar where we talked for a while before she went back onstage, finished her set and came back to me again. I eventually told her that she can go to other customers and could come back if nothing panned out. She left but I think it may be the start of a beautiful friendship!
  
  So one down and one more to go. I may talk to you guys later about her. I think she may be not comfortable around me is due to my friend whom she has danced for and that we hang out together at the club. All I know is she's quite popular but has a handful of regulars whom she rotates from whenever they're there with her giving another one or two new customers a try. My friend may or may not considered a regular but since he and I share the same 'qualities' when it comes to dancers, if he likes her then there's a very good chance that I'll like her too.
• carl95

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  13 years ago

  If I know who I am looking for and I'm not getting any attention, I prefer to tip the waitress and have them send over the girl I'm looking for.
  
  Where else in this world can you summon a woman to you and have her take off her clothes?