Strangest/weirdest/grossest patron you've ever seen at a strip club?

39 comments

• bang69

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  13 years ago

  a 600 pound male that smelled worse then a skunk. had warts all over his face,un shaven with snot hanging from his nose. that is the worst i've ever seen year to date.
• LeeH

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  13 years ago

  Two guys drunk off their ass. They got up to leave. One flopped back in his chair. Other staggered, twisted around, and did a face plant in his friend's lap. Must have been a familiar position, as he stayed there for a few seconds.
• thesamurai

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  13 years ago

  I usually don't pay attention to other customers at clubs, but last week I was in one and I guess I would call a strange incident. This clearly drunk guy came in, he didn't look altogether THAT odd but he was dressed in his own style. Big mutton chop side burns, thick BC glasses like you get in boot camp, and a curly mop for hair on top. I figured he was an artist or in a band or something. So he plops down next to me and strikes up a convo. In his slurred speech he asks me if I like chicks. Yes, I said, lol. Then asked me if I was religous. Not really but now I was on guard. Next question...what do I think of stem cell research. I was like WTF dude this is a strip club I'm not here to talk about stuff like that look, walking by us right now is a hot hot chick with barely any clothes on and mmmm look at that ass as she walks away. A light bulb went off in his head, he says "oh yeah!", gave me a high five and got up and followed that dancer across the room. A few minutes later he was escorted out by the bouncer. Strange. Funny too lol.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  Me.
• Alucard

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  13 years ago

  Not Strangest/weirdest/grossest. Just Different! A Blind patron. Fortunately for him the Club WAS NOT an Air Dance establishment!!! For him "Hands On" has real meaning.
• sinclair

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  13 years ago

  There is a fat guy that frequents a club I go to. His gut sticks out so far that he must have not seen his dick in like 30 years. He obviously can't find pants to fit around his waist so the top of his pants are around his things and a XXXXXXXXL polo shirt covers the rest of the way down. He also has been sporting a black eye lately. I don't think he could get laid if he was the last man on earth.
• sinclair

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  13 years ago

  *thighs
• lopaw

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  13 years ago

  lol gmd - you kill me. On one particularly strange stripclub visit, I saw both a man in a kilt (no I didn't check to see if he was commando), and a guy I christened Wolf Boy - he was about 18 yo and furry. He looked like a werewolf. I think I even heard him howl once. Very odd indeed.
• shadowcat

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  13 years ago

  Where do I start? So many but since we are doing fat guy stories. I have seen this guy in my favorite club twice. He is so fat that he needs crutches to walk. A dancer that i know well took him to a semi private couch room for a lap dance. Later I asked her if his dick was as big as the rest of him. She replied "I dunno. I couldn't find it".
• TABB

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  13 years ago

  I seen a couple paraplegic guys on different occasion. At my favorite club there was this old weird looking guy in his 60s. He had a big ass midsection but small arms and chicken legs decked out in ed Hardy attire. The most recant one I came across happened 3 weeks ago. A good looking dancer with a nice ass was on stage. Not more then 30 seconds later a drunk guy came by stage and started to stare at her in a rapist type of way. Then he proceeded to take f baseball cap on his t shirt. Thank God he had a muscle shirt on. The dancer. Was like WTF. Then guy took off back to his table non of the bouncer notice, waitresses or customers. I felt bad for the dancer and I asked her for a couple of LD, it was traumatizing for the both of us
• mmdv26

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  13 years ago

  Probably 12 years ago at TNT in KC - before the ownership change and remodel...and before the DJ booth - there were several little round tables with a couple of chairs up in the VIP section. While you were supposed to be with a dancer to sit at those tables, there was a dude who would come into the club every week or so and just go up there and sit at the table at the end nearest the juke box and look out the window-like opening at the girls on stage. Within a few minutes he had his sex organ out of his pants furiously pumping away with his hand. He would get off (on the carpet, I presume), put the tool away, get up and walk out. This went on for several months before a new day manager ran the guy off.
• Dudester

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  13 years ago

  A couple of years ago, before I could get OTC Gal to do OTC with me, I went to St. James to find her. I was there a bit when I saw her come out of VIP with a guy. He was five hundred pounds, at least. She weighed just a hair over 100. I didn't even want to think what they did.
• bumrubber

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  13 years ago

  I've seen several patrons so drunk they peed all over themselves, including one of two college age girls who came in with a bunch of guys then passed out. Everyone just left them there.
• DandyDan

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  13 years ago

  I remember a long time ago at one of my old favorite clubs, there used to be this one guy who looked like Mr. Miyagi who would just stare at the naked women on stage without tipping, or even drinking from the pop he had at his table (this is a juice bar which doesn't serve alcohol). I always wondered what would motivate someone like that to go pay a cover at a strip club and not tip the dancers or buy lapdances. My then-ATF told me they called him the Professor, which is odd because you never saw him with dancers. I mean, he may have been a professor at one of the nearby colleges for all I know, but he always sat there alone, not even drinking his pop and never interacting with the dancers. And I would see him there every trip to the club, doing the same thing. I'm sorry I don't have any fat guy stories, but I just don't have any which are memorable.
• troop

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  13 years ago

  fat guy stories? ok about a year ago i saw this guy that was so fat (estimate 350-400 pounds) that he broke out in a sweat just sitting in the club even though the temp was cool. he was also unwashed/dirty looking and i watched a fairly hot dancer give him some real close up 10 dollar lappers and i was thinking ugh, i'll never buy dances from that chick. regarding people pissing themselves. a couple months ago in a regular local bar where i hang out a couple times a week there was this big guy, like 6ft 8in that hangs out there too. he had obviously pissed himself but was just walking around and hanging at the bar seemingly oblivious that he had pissed himself. he's pretty bizarre and he talks to himself. as a matter of fact i was in the bar last night and he was sitting next to me at the bar and talking to himself saying i'd bang her regarding every female that was sitting nearby or walking by and i'm sitting ther thinking don't piss yourself tonight dude.
• Clubber

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  13 years ago

  "weirdest" A guy that paid for table dances, but didn't want the dancer to take off her clothes.
• mikeya02

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  13 years ago

  A guy in a dress, with a wig and a purse and hairy legs. Dude did not look like a lady but he immediately had company.
• steve229

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  13 years ago

  "a guy I christened Wolf Boy - he was about 18 yo and furry." And his hair was perfect. Ahhwooooo
• steve229

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  13 years ago

  "A guy that paid for table dances, but didn't want the dancer to take off her clothes.' And drink some cherry wine?
• steve229

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  13 years ago

  There's a regular I call the “Slow Motion” guy. He does everything in Matrix style super slowwww motion. Takes him most of a song just to pull a dollar bill out of his pocket and put it ever so slowly into a dancer's garter. Not sure if he has some medical condition, or just how he rolls. It's strange, but kinda cool in a way.
• gatorfan

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  13 years ago

  When someone blew junks all over the place
• deogol

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  13 years ago

  Seen a dude with his midget girl friend on a leash. Saw five dumbasses walking past the stage yelling out "Puta!" Yea, they lasted about five minutes before each being thrown out different fire doors. They proceeded to kick at the doors for a while till chased away. Oh god, I hope it wasn't me your talking about getting a dance from a gal not getting her nakid on. I have to admit doing that - I just wanted someone to talk to late at night and she was pushing it. (Hangs head) Saw three girls and a transvestite (an ugly one at that) walk in and sit in gyno row. I was sitting around the bouncers as they talked about what to do LOL. Saw three dudes with slicked back hair and black clothes. Definitely not goths, more like hoodlums. Boy did they give a hella bad vibe. Still remember them ten+ years later. Probably think of more later on.
• motorhead

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  13 years ago

  A few years back, I would see this same guy in the club almost everytime I was there. He was an ugly dude - like a cross between Howard Stern and Alice Cooper. He was real scary looking. He was very tall and had extremely large hands and long fingers. As ugly as he was, with features like that I suspect he was hung like a horse and never had trouble attracting the ladies when he was younger. I never actually witnessed this, but one of favorite dancers told me this. There is an elderly genteleman that comes to the club every afternoon when there are only 2 or 3 other customers in the club. He never buys dances. He sits at the same table everyday and jerks off. At least he tries to hide it, but everyone knows what he is doing. She warned me not to sit at that table. LOL. I just hope I can jerk off everyday when I'm 80. Maybe jerking off in a club is not so strange. I wonder if this is more common than I realize. And if we're done making fun of the fat guys, let me tell you the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Several years ago at the Mons Venus in Tampa a young, handsome Italian guy in a cleary very expensive suit - a real stereotypical Mafioso type - walks in with 3 bodyguards. He takes a seat at the stage while his 3 bodyguards (who were all dressed in expensive Italian suits also) stand behind him with their hands crossed in front of them like they're in the friggin' Secret Service or something. After a little while, he chooses a girl, they have a few dances and he leaves. Maybe not a smelly, fat guy story, but not something I see everyday.
• farmerart

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  13 years ago

  I once spent an afternoon with vincemichaels in Bogarts in Detroit. Now, I am a fairly hefty lad but that afternoon in Bogarts saw at least a dozen guys over 300lb cavorting with the dancers. A couple of those boys were well over 400lb. I am a svelte 265lb. It was kind of nice not to be the biggest PL in a SC for once.
• Clubber

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  13 years ago

  fa, "I once spent an afternoon with vincemichaels in Bogarts in Detroit... It was kind of nice not to be the biggest PL in a SC for once." Not nice, but I feel the same way when he comes south! :)
• harrydave

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  13 years ago

  Speaking of fat guys. I once went to the Hiliter in Phoenix where my SO worked. A Friday noon getaway. I got seated at the row of single tables. In the corner there is sort of the "Captain's Chair" for guys into serious long time lappers. I am three seats away. I looked to see who is there. He was big, maybe 300+ pounds. Hey, that's the Chairman of the Board of my company! He saw me. We gave each other the "nod of understanding". So I stayed and enjoyed myself.
• vincemichaels

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  13 years ago

  Vincemichaels kicks Clubber where it counts!! LIAR !!
• vincemichaels

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  13 years ago

  Hmmm, fat man stories. Back in the day when the Landing Strip was one of the top clubs in the Detroit area, this 400 lb. plus guy would come in and go to the upstairs VIP area where he would get serviced by 2 of the dancers. I imagine it took 2 of them to find his thing. One would pry apart the layers of fat to find it and the second one would make Mr. Happy happy.
• nj_pete

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  13 years ago

  Well not a fat man story, but an older wierd guy story, Club Risque in Bristol PA, smaller little guy, I have seen him there 3 times doing this, you tip the girls a buck or 2 when they come around the bar after dancing, this guy as he gives them a dollar, does this thrusting thing , like frigging Elvis Presley under the bar, for a couple of seconds.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  lopaw, What can I say? I'm the creepiest guy I know. :)
• JuiceBox69

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  13 years ago

  I agree with georgmicrodong first commmint. I went to the bath room and looked in the mirrer and was like holy shit !!! : ))))
• Clubber

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  13 years ago

  vm, I am so hurt! After I showed so much concern for your safety during your last adventure. :)
• looneylarry

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  13 years ago

  Saw an older guy years ago that would go up to the rail to tip and then would stand there and move his two hands all over the girls body, but always keeping a cushion of about a foot, kind of like Marcel Marceau drying her off with a towel and using both hands. Never could figure out the point of it. Maybe he just wanted to think about what it would be like to rub her down all over without getting thrown out of the club. And he did it with every dancer on stage.
• vincemichaels

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  13 years ago

  Well, Clubber, hobble to the next hurricane this year that comes onshore this year and join me on the beach. Then I'll feel sorry for kicking you in the nuts. LMAO. That is if we both can stand up to hurricane force winds. Irene was an interesting storm to experience first hand on the beach Saturday afternoon, I doubt that I'll visit the site of a Cat 3 landing.
• Clubber

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  13 years ago

  vm, The only thing I can think of that was cool/good about andrew hitting us square was to experience the eye of a hurricane. Surreal!
• HoustonTexansfan

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  8 years ago

  this guy would come in every single day (he is like 40 and weighs like 400 pounds) and only come in with like $40 dollars and stay from open to close (12 pm to 2 am) like he is literally the first one in the door and the last person to leave. But what makes him so creepy is, he smells like he shit himself and his B.O. is awful and does nothing to do about it, even though we have free body spray upon request.....then like the extreme rare case he buys a dance, all he talks about his how big his dick is, and constantly trying to pull it out, while in the meantime he always try to hook up with the dancers and he thinks he is the king in there, then like he gets mad at other girls if they flirt with other guys.
• seaboardrr

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  8 years ago

  I think i've told this story before but I will again because it's just weird. We've seen this guy twice. Sitting by himself at the stage by the tip rail across the stage from us both times. White button down shirt and slacks. Late 20's. Typical office worker, former fraternity boy look. He sits at the stage for hours and just watches. Every now and then he'll toss a dollar on stage. Nothing weird so far, right? Just a cheap patron. But wait, there's more. The whole time he's sitting there he's listening to his iPod. Got his little iPod with his white ear buds in listening to who knows what. Several times we'll look over and see his head down for the longest time and he's obviously asleep.
• deogol

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  8 years ago

  Weirdest I could say is I saw a dude dressed as a chick, with two other real chicks (I think), at the rail watching the dancing chick. But it was the San Francisco Bay Area (Sunnyvale) so I guess it is expected now and then.
• s88

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  8 years ago

  If my SC had an espresso machine and power outlets, I'd be on my laptop working instead of my phone wasting time when there are no strippers on stage. Starbucks with strippers :)