Dancers and girls in general getting attached after you sleep with them?

34 comments

• stag0069

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  13 years ago

  I know the science says that about oxytocin(sp?) but I don't buy it. I've known plenty of girls who fuck and then move on. I think it comes down more to the whole package: chemistry, how much money you have, how classy or bad boy or non-creepy you come off. Maybe you were the one real man she met that week? But is that an infatuation chemical or an all-brain thing, I think it's the latter. Western medicine tries to pinpoint but still primitive.
• sharkhunter

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  13 years ago

  I tried to find the correct spelling, oh well. You might be right about their being more to it than just a chemical release in the brain. That particular dancer seemed a bit infatuated with me before I remember even meeting her even though she claimed to know me already. After getting familiar with her, she told me she remembered the very first time she ever saw me and that was over 15 years earlier in another state. She hadn't seen me in at least 8 years. I don't recall too many dancers telling me they remember the very first time they ever saw me. This was from a dancer whom I could not remember ever getting a dance from. Of course my memory isn't the greatest.
• sharkhunter

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  13 years ago

  She could have been full of it as well but she was good if she was lying.
• dolo74

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  13 years ago

  what are you....like 9yrs old??? Im a dancer and a nursing student. Before you go posting idiotic things go on the www.....world wide web and do some research. Dancers who become prostitutes will follow you around good sir! Youve become a regular with bennies! you are the man who makes "real" dancers not make money. dont go to the club looking for a date or a fuck buddy. I usually dont try to make logic out of illogical things but this one......had to be addressed.
• Rod8432

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  13 years ago

  dolo74 - I agree in part that dancers who think a man is reliable for a certain amount of cash, whether for OTC or not, will likely follow him around to some degree. But is there more to it? I think sharkhunter's question IS logical and a good one. Do women in general, some women in particular, or maybe more women than men, get some kind of "attachment" feeling once having slept with a guy? I think the answer's more of a yes than no, although there's likely wide variance and overlap between the sexes. Oxytocin and vasopressin have been implicated in this phenomenon. As to your other off-topic point, you seem to feel a need to defend "real" dancers. This reminds me of a movie I saw where a "real" Italian chef who insists on serving meals only in his narrowly-defined, old-country way, is furious his restaurant's empty and he's going broke. Meanwhile, across the street, a business-minded chef serves decent quasi-Italian food in a fun, if somewhat less than authentic, Italian environment. Of course, his restaurant's packed and he's rolling in dough, to borrow a gastronomic metaphor. So, who's "right?" In most cases, if you're a business and your customer stands ready to spend money for what he/she wants, AND you as the proprietor can, but refuse to provide it, he/she will likely go to another who does. So in your side-job as a dancer, you're free to offer only dances, and you will have some clientele - fair enough. If however, one of your compatriots offers more of whatever - charm, kisses, flirtation, light ITC extras - i.e., whatever the club allows - and finds some customers prefer that, than so be it. But dissing that customer community by essentially saying they shouldn't want that, or shouldn't come into a club hoping to find it, is unrealistic.
• Prim0

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  13 years ago

  Worst thing you can do in business is blame the customer. A business is there to make money by catering to the customers wants/needs. If a business doesn't provide it then it will probably go under as their competition will provide the services. Sounds like the thinking of liberals. "It's everyone elses fault I'm not doing as well as I'd like". Welcome to the real world where competition does exist and not everyone is universally equal.
• BaddJack

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  13 years ago

  There is this one dullard Hillbilly girl with saggy tits and bags under her eyes....when I GIVE her Oxycontin, she fucks.
• dolo74

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  13 years ago

  @Primo....By no means am I blaming everyone else for not producing more. However, your suggesting that I should fall below the standard to make more because my competition is....so that I can let the customer be right! Ha! Really? The fact your stating here is that men should go to a strip club and look for all the little extras because he can, just made me vomit in my mouth. You obviously think less of your species, and you definitely think less of mine. As far a woman following you around because you had sex with her is a misnomer as well. First off this man is suggesting that hormones released during intercouse have made this "dancer" want to follow him around. In the real world when your not handing a girl money at the club then fucking her at your house this may be slightly true. Women for the most part find sex to be more of an emotional connection. But in this case he met her at the club, fucked outside the club and when he is back in the club he thinks her latent hormones are still pushing through her system and she must follow him around. Lets be real....NOT! I applaud your honest Prim0. However catering to a customer does not mean you have to lower the standards for everyone else.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  dolo74: I'm a bit confused. Are you objecting to sharkhunter's hypothesis that fucking a girl causes her body to produce hormones that make him more attractive to her (for which there is at least some evidence), asserting instead that it's the simple fact that he gave her money for fucking that is the real cause (for which there is much observational evidence by yours truly? Or are you perhaps just using the thread to voice your objection to his *practice* of soliciting sex for money, thereby "stealing" money from all those that aren't whoring themselves?
• looneylarry

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  13 years ago

  Counselor Dong, you have stated the case succinctly. Counselor Dolo, do you have a rebuttal or do you rest your case?
• Prim0

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  13 years ago

  I'd just like to clarify that I'm not suggesting that Dolo make any changes to how she does business. I just suggest that if you do not cater to the customers needs/wants, they will go to someone who does. By all means keep your standards, but allow others to do the same. IF their standards happen to get them more business than you...don't blame them or the customers. Its a free country and the customer can choose to spend his/her money where they want. Look at it this way....we have 5 star restaurants here and there but we have a fast food joint on every corner. Both are good businesses and make money but the 5 star shouldn't get angry at the customers for eating fast food for low prices if that's what they want. They should focus on their customers who want fine dining and the whole experience that goes with it. Those customers are willing to pay for that while fast food customers just want some quick satisifaction at a reasonable price. Can you imagine McDonalds giving two shits that Mortons restaurants say that they are giving "Real" restaurants a bad name?
• dolo74

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  13 years ago

  Are you really using 5star vs fast food as an analogy? Let me spin that out for you. I have dinned at both kinds and before I walk in the 5star there is generally a menu posted outside with the prices and if the menu has no prices then I truly know that it is very expensive because no prices means you can afford anything. Now when I go to the fast food joint the menu has a value menu and a dollar menu. I know what Im getting, I know what Im paying for. The club has one menu, at least it is suppose to, however your going to have stragglers who dont know how to make their money work for them and blow it on stupid shit like clothes, drugs and eating out. The stragglers decide to make their own menu without the knowledge of the main menu maker. If you want the fast food quickie go to the corner of the closest city and you will surely find a hooker to accomidate your quick needs for a low low price. If your coming to the club you know how the menu works! It pisses me off when men come in there and decide to make the hambuger that comes with lettuce tomatoe and mayo into a whole new menu item and ask for a turkey burger with mushrooms and swiss! I watch the temptation and I dont give into it but I do watch those who bite the apple. I hate that the girls let the main menu change and bring the level of class and dignity to our profession to a level that is poor. The fact that you suggest that because she whips your dick out and gives it a stroke or a little lick around the rim is on her menu is fine and good and I should accept that she added a new item and failed to mention to me is all good makes me weary that we have to live in a monkey see monkey do world. You go on with yourself. I hear what your saying.... I simply think its what divides the true lady from the tramp. Look I say fuck those bitches, and the dirty men they acquire there swift money from. I know you can still make money without pimping yourself out. Stick to the god damn menu! I just dont understand how hard of a concept that is!
• dolo74

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  13 years ago

  georgmic....you summed it up. Yes in the real world...hormones are released that give you a high from sex...just like exercising does. However they do not last long. Its the emotional connection of sex that makes a women want to be around a man! Yes more times than not we associate sex with love! Surely you know this. Now in the fantasy world thats bullshit. If your fucking a guy on the side from the club for $$$$ you better believe youll follow him around like a dog to ass! Thats called $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ at the low low price of your own fucking morals. Its easy on this street....dont go to club to find a prostitute or a girlfriend. The concept of that seems to be a difficult one for men. You all truly must think with your empty head.
• rickdugan

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  13 years ago

  Dancers and "girls in general" are two very diffeent breeds. When I was single, did I have girls get attached after sleeping with them? Of course. And dancers after p4p? Sure they got attached - to my wallet!
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  dolo: Sure, I know those things, I was just trying to figure out is what *your* point was. That said, let me preface the rest of my comments by saying that I don't have a problem with your preference for keeping the girls who do extras out of strip clubs per se, just your apparent reason for that preference. Your preference is justifiable without resorting claiming that they are somehow stealing, i.e. "makes 'real' dancers not make money", from the girls who don't. And to be clear, I'm talking about the act of prostitution itself, i.e. the exchange of sex for money, and not such things as the virtual slavery some pimps exercise over "their" girls, or the negligent (or malicious) transmission of disease, or even the potential broken promises between johns and the other people with which they have relationships. Morally speaking, what most prostitutes do is no different, in kind, than what most strippers or professional football players do, they just use a different part of their bodies, nor is "money" a meaningfully different medium of exchange than security, support, love or even just "fun". In any rational endeavor that involves human interaction at any level, *something* is exchanged, whether it's money, time, emotion or something else, and claiming that *this* exchange is somehow immoral when none of the others are is silly. Equating girls who do extras with thieves isn't a valid comparison. A thief is taking something that actually belongs to you, whereas the extras girl is only taking something that *might* belong to *someone* at your location at some point in the future. The assertion that the guy bringing $500 into the club would have spent it on "real" dancers instead of the whore is unproven, and frankly unprovable. Sure, he *might* have, but then again, as soon as he found out that nothing extra was available, he might have left and gone down the street. You can't logically claim that he would have spent it on a stripper instead because you can't possibly know for sure what he *actually* came in for until he actually puts his money down. Of course, prostitution *is* against the law, irrespective of what I and others might think of that fact, and frankly I think you'd have a better justification for your position using that single fact alone. Objecting to activity that might bring cops in and scare customers away, thus impacting the business as a whole, would be a better basis for your position, rather than making a claim you can't definitively prove. Even if it *shouldn't* be illegal, the fact that it *is* brings a degree of risk to those who've chosen *not* to engage in it is more justifiable than "she's stealing from me." Ironically, I think you'd actually have a better case for complaining about prostitutes in strip clubs if prostitution were *legal*. Then, given the likely restrictions lawmakers would put on the activity, you could claim, "hey, there's a place for that, go there and quit bothering us." As it stands, there isn't any place for them to legitimately go, and they are, again IMO, justified in doing it wherever they can get away with it.
• rickdugan

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  13 years ago

  great, another "dancer" who currently doesn't dance anywhere, but posts on this board as such. It is becoming cliched around here.
• baltimoretraveler

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  13 years ago

  Interesting viewpoints. From my observations, I've seen many dancers getting annoyed at the fact that some girls are, "doing bottles", "VIPs" or whatever the term is in a particular club. They all have their reasons but the truth is that those dancers are raking in the $$ for themselves and the club. If it was just about dancing, then clubs would post the LD prices and remove the VIP rooms.
• farmerart

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  13 years ago

  Back to the original post - it is an absurd question. As rick wisely observes there are pros and civilians. In the professional world my experience suggests that it is infinitely more likely for us pathetic customers to form emotional attachments with dancers than the other way round. In the real world? Don't ask me. When it comes to sex, strip clubs and massage parlours ARE the real world for me.
• dolo74

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  13 years ago

  rickdugan....for the record I am not an out of work dancer! I still dance. Ive been a member on this website for the better part of a year. I simply couldnt let an idiot not be shown that hes an idiot. Quite frankly I read reviews of the clubs so that I can have an edge. I find out what the complaints are and try to avoid those or get an angle that perhaps others are not using. Im fairly methodical in my trade. I plan and have a plan. This thread just got a little deeper and opened up, what I would call a fairly interesting discussion. Have it baby. @baltimoretraveler....im not pissed at vip rooms...I get plenty. I have my own personal goal that I want to meet. Im not a "super" stripper. Im consistant and thats all I need.
• jackslash

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  13 years ago

  Once I've cum in a dancer's mouth, I notice she follows me around all the time. I conclude that my jizz contains a hormone that affects her brain. It couldn't have anything to do with the $250 I paid her.
• potheadpl

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  13 years ago

  Strippers who do extras aren't necessarily costing "clean" dancers money. It's just that "clean" dancers need to be exceptionally hot and good performers. I've seen plenty of girls make big money JUST DANCING ON STAGE. It's easier for dancers to make money with extras---but at the clubs I frequent there's no way of knowing who does extras until you've already paid for the Champagne room. Seduction and attractiveness are what gets me to go back there. I've never been upsold once back there. Some dancers do more than others. But I've been totally happy with just 30 minutes of groping and grinding---if she's a smoking hottie.
• Prim0

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  13 years ago

  Dolo...if you want to move it to the same restaurant ok... Dancers are more like the servers than the kitchen. You work for tips. Some of the servers have figured out how to get bigger tips than others. If you don't like what they are doing that's fine, you don't have to change your services...but don't expect to get as many tips. Perhaps you need to look for a finer restaurant with a consistent menu that you approve of. Sounds like you're working an Appleby's type club when you'd probably be happier serving at the fine dining establishment.
• rickdugan

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  13 years ago

  "...Its easy on this street....dont go to club to find a prostitute or a girlfriend. The concept of that seems to be a difficult one for men. You all truly must think with your empty head." Ok then dolo, if you are real then here is my response. You came to the wrong place to spout that particular overdone nonsense. That would play much better over at stripperweb, where all of the nuns in the convent routinely get together for a group hug while whining about all of the "dirty" girls that they are forced to compete with. Around these parts many of the regular posters have been serviced by strippers. Hell, for me it is one of the primary reasons that I visit strip clubs and I routinely fuck around with strippers all over the country. I use the clubs as my little shopping plazas, where I get to see and evaluate the good before I make a purchasing decision. ;) How does that work for you? :)
• how

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  13 years ago

  dolo's "menu" example holds no merit. When I am with a woman in a club, we do what we both choose. If she establishes certain limits based on either club policy or her own choices... I respect her limits (and her) regardless. But I don't spend any money on something that is not what I want. It is largely because there is NO SET MENU at strip clubs that makes them appealing. Anything may be possible...
• how

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  13 years ago

  This thread title reminded me of a great line from Teri Garr in the movie "Tootsie": "I can know a guy for a long time, and things are great. But then I sleep with him, and it's like I loaned him money..."
• dolo74

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  13 years ago

  @Rickdugan.... Your little shopping plaza, interesting. The funny thing here is...no matter whether you get extras or not....your dumb enough to pay for it! At the end of the day either your wife is sick by the thought of you touching her, your single because you have no idea how to acquire a fuck buddy without paying for it, or you simply just like to pay money to get you some. No Im not intersted in giving you the extras but like I said I do just fine taking mens money by creating a little friction between my thong and their pants! I do love how you all tell the "police" on yourselves here...."see Gina she will pull it out". You see all us dancers read the reviews and so do the managers....then those bitches get put under a microscope and sooner or later they get gone. Keep shopping my friend and keep paying. There are plenty of men who pay to NOT get pussy.....and I love them all!!!!!!!!!
• shadowcat

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  13 years ago

  Sounds like the garbarge from stripperweb just spilled over to here.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  "I don't pay them for the sex, I pay them to go away when I'm done." Contrary to your assertion, dolo, all of us men pay for sex, whether it's directly with cash, or indirectly with affection, security or material goods. Claiming that *one* method of paying for sex is bad, but all the others are OK is an exercise in self deception. When you say that you are "taking mens money by creating a little friction between my thong and their pants," you are doing exactly the same thing as the extras girls, i.e. selling your body for sex, just not quite the same way. For you, that "not the same way" makes all the difference in the world, but some of us don't see any material difference between making a guy come by rubbing him through his pants, and doing it by rubbing him inside your pussy. I'm not claiming that there is *no* difference at all between those two, nor that there arent good reasons not to do one or the other, but it's a difference in degree, not kind. If you really think they are different in kind, and not just degree, I believe you are fooling yourself.
• how

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  13 years ago

  Obviously dolo has two qualities among others: 1. She hates and resents men (almost certainly because she externalizes her own self-generated misery). 2. She thinks she "wins" if she gets "men who pay to NOT get pussy." dolo is a very sad case. But, really, who cares? She has no importance here or anywhere else.
• gatorfan

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  13 years ago

  only if you super glue your cock on her lips
• StripClubXpert

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  13 years ago

  I think it comes down more to how much money you have.
• StripClubXpert

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  13 years ago

  "Sounds like the thinking of liberals. "It's everyone elses fault I'm not doing as well as I'd like". Welcome to the real world where competition does exist and not everyone is universally equal." I second that... keep studying because nursing may be the only way you make more money.
• rickdugan

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  13 years ago

  Dolo, actually sugar plum, my wife is hot and will give it up to me almost anytime I want it. Hell, my wife is 40 and looks better than many of the girls half of her age. I am a lucky man. I do what I do because I like variety. I also like to hit something 10 or 15 years younger than I am now and again. And I don't just get a girlfriend because that always turns to shit eventually. I have seen this play out too many times - sooner or later she wants more than he can give. Understanding is followed by bitterness, which is sometimes followed by something very bad for the married guy in question. No thank you. Fucking strippers is actually the most efficient alternative. Constant variety, hand selected partners and nobody falling in love or otherwise getting stupid. You have anything else to add? ;)
• dolo74

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  13 years ago

  Id love to say more, but it is clear to me who Im dealing with. Considering how this thread began....Ah, do chicks realese a chemical Oxycotin(lmao), that after I have sex with her and go back to the club she follows me around.....I simply had to say something. Id hate for a man to run around not educated on something so simple. Thinking the release of these hormones lasted so long and that money had absolutely nothing to do with it had to be addressed. Quite honestly Ive enjoyed the push and pull. Sticks and stones gentlemen.