"Everything I need to know, I learned in a Strip Club"

Thanks for all the responses. Good reading.

Good stuff folks. Here's a few of mine:

1) If strippers you once had as students decide to dance for you, they will give really good dances (but no extras)
2) Complimenting dancers is nice but the only form of compliment that really gets you anywhere is cash.
3) Other than the obvious big spenders, there is often no apparent rhyme or reason for the way that dancers choose which customers to spend time with or give good dances to. The second you think you figured it out, something will screw the theory up.
4) Servers, door girls, and shot girls need love too. Sometimes they deliver unexpected pleasures to those who pay attention.
5) Many of our male brethern (present company excepted of course) are complete flaming idiots and will prove it by their behavior in SCs.
6) Try to ignore the banal DJ babble and bad music during lap dances and focus, focus, focus.
7) 2 for 1 songs will always be shorter and worse than anything that gets played the rest of the night
8) If the dancer is pretty good at a 2 for 1, get another song right away to see if she gets better. 3 for 2 is still a good deal.
9) Girls who look angry, sad, or pityful will give angry, sad, and pityful dances.
10) If you are having fun, show it. If you can turn somebody's (including your own) crappy, boring night into a fun night by spending a little cash and projecting a positive attitude, it's a good thing!

How to talk small.

My OTC gal and I are nearing six months together. This is the first significant relationship I've had in 20 years. I've learned to ignore certain things. I've learned not to be jealous. I've learned females are hard wired to lie and think they've accomplished something. I've learned females are emotionally immature, and yet they try to pretend they're not. I've learned females lack conviction and courage.

I've also learned which hotels charge by the hour, and which places are actually strip clubs pretendiung not to be pharmacies.

My OTC / ITC (sex allowed in CR, VIP) gal and I have passed one year together. She is one of around 20 I have seen in last 5 years and is the best one yet. Dudester, the rest of your post is what I would have said.

The SC hobby has opened vistas and added life experience I never imagined possible.

I learned:
1) To regularly contribute to TUSCL so I could get free admission
2) To visit the ATM of my own bank to avoid ATM fees
3) To open a tab only for close friends
4) To be more explicit in how I communicate my interest in sex
5) To be able to identify and protect myself from drug addicts, liars, and psychotics
6) To ignore the DJ when he announces the availability of VIP
7) To exercise great patience and compromise less
8) To realize my ex-wife was not great in bed

Oh, that last one was not nice!

I have improved my skill at asking for sex from complete strangers.

I really have become more confident when talking to women OTC. I learned there really IS sex in the champagne room. LOL

No there is still no sex in the champagne room...chris rock is still correct. Lap dances have better mileage than champagne rooms...lesson learned that spending more money does not mean better mileage.

What I learned at strip clubs:
1. How to understand "You want another dance?" while girl is giving a blowjob
2. Practice in handing out $1 bills like it was Halloween
3. How many different kinds of fake tits are out there
4. How to tell when the girl is BSing for money and no service
5. Grabbing a girls tits or ass in a bar now as common as tying shoes
6. Improved eye sight in a dark, confined lap area
7. My dick functions very well in a dark, confined lap area
8. Girls can give a quality HJ (prior to SC's girls did BJ or FS)
9. Improved hearing, listening for lap dance count with loud music playing
10. To only bring what I want to spend with me and not a penny more

Gator, you're not fluent in Brazilian yet?

Only the dirty words, I'd much rather have them use their native tongue for a much better purpose!

What I learned?
1. Many dancers are only trying to make a fast buck and don't think it's any big deal to lie if that will make you spend money on them.
2. Sometimes you can enjoy listening to lies.
3. Watch your pockets, if someone is desperate, some may think stealing is an easy way to get some money.
4. Some dancers can be extremely persistent.
5. It's your money, never feel like you need to give it away because of some possibly made up sob story.
6. Some escorts do work as dancers as well.
7. Never end up alone with a dancer if you would never even consider going out with her. It always seems like the people you aren't attracted to always want to have sex the most.
8. Dancers are female and human beings, treat them nice and you might get similar treatment.

I guess if you applied what I learned to real life, then
1. Almost everyone is out to make some money, some in more shady ways and faster than other people.
2. When it comes to politics and even daily life, expect almost everyone to lie to get ahead. Just don't point out their lies without hard concrete evidence and even if you do, expect some anger for pointing out any lie.
3. In politics and in dancing, leave out the obvious tax increases that will come later on or dance price hikes. If someone didn't ask, they will just pay more because they were stupid for not asking. Oh, you didn't realize dance prices jumped to $40 a dance after that first two for one? Too bad, now pay up. Like getting expanded health care now, pay up more later. Oh, you didn't realize covering everyone meant the government now pays some women to get artificially impregnated as many times as they want and now they get federal subsidies for every kid they have, oh too bad, you the taxpayer will pay. Should have asked or protested when you could. Oh, you didn't recall everyone getting free visits to the doctor for preventative care? Too bad, you have to wait to see the doctor for your supposed emergency, you're on a list now and should be able to see the doctor in 2 to 3 months.
4. Tell stories about how good all the middle class customers have it, no dance price hikes if they make less $250,000. Then the DJ cuts the songs short. You have to pay extra for admission, you suddenly have to pay up for this and that. The club says all of their expenses are rising so they have to charge more for everything. If you're a politician become an expert liar and for large tax increases, go ahead and get them signed into law but have them kick in when you're no longer in office due to not wanting to hurt the current economy (while you're in office).
5. Saved number one for last. Give a great talk and make everyone feel good with a good speech or conversation. Make them believe in you before you charge them $50 a dance. Give out the hope they can get even more possibly for free and won't have to pay up until later.

Patience.
Selectivity.
Beauty is more than the perfect 10.
Dancers are people too.
How to speak and translate stripper shit makes dealing with life's normal BS a breeze.
Now on the other hand, don't grab ass in public.

I've learned that, although there are definitely exceptions, strippers, for the most part, are hateful whores who are continuously lying and stealing. There are exceptions, but, in general, strippers are total losers.

Women will tell any lie to get what they want, while pretending to be morally superior to men.
Young girls can be fun.
Older women understand men better.
Cash is king.

Spending money on and buying drinks for women is usually for their enjoyment, not your own.

I spent too much time reflecting on this topic. I agree with many here, that there is much to learn in a SC, if you keep an open mind. Here is my list.

I have learned:

"Out of sight, out of mind." When the hot girl you tipped lavishly at the stage disappears, you inevitably will find someone else to sit with you. And, perhaps, on top of you.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." The longer I am away from any SC, the more I enjoy the next visit. I forget the stale cigarette smoke in my clothes and what is left of my hair, the obnoxious DJ and the girl with BO. I remember the promise of exotic titillation.

"You cannot judge a book by the cover." Hot girls do not always give hot service. The plain Janes may be exceedingly interesting when left to their own devices. She looks hot in her costume, she may be funky when nude, and vice versa.

"Two heads are better than one." 'Nuff said.

I have become much better at "motorboating" breasts.

In high school I was popular with the girls. No trouble getting a date. Then I did a 4 year stint in the USAF followed by a couple of years later by a 27 marriage.When we got divorced I found myself shy. Strip clubs got me over that. I have no problem now talking to a beautiful stripper or non stripper. Good therapy!

If you ask a dancer what good regular clubs are around and you happen to see her one night and she comes right up to you to talk, she might want to go out with you sometime.

If a dancer does some other weird stuff in the strip club like just want to sit and talk to you without you spending hardly any money for 3 or more hours or until the club closes, she might like you.

One more thing I learned, if you slept with a dancer and it seems like she is never far away during your next visit, there's a good chance she's stalking you and will explode into a drama queen if you spend a lot of time with another dancer. This can be quite amusing.

If one dancer acts like she owns you, you need to teach her that you have a lot of favorites. If she gets angry, just tell her that she is doing lap dances for lots of guys so what's the difference?
Unless you like staying with only one dancer.

casual guy- did you have a stripper stalking you? I've known a few who had customer stalkers (or so they said).

I learned to treat whores like ladies and ladies like whores. The first part works well anyway.