Approaching a dancer when she is sitting at another table

24 comments

• lopaw

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  15 years ago

  I won't wait two hours for any dancer. If there are no other dancers in the club that catch my eye, I'll leave. Life is too short to wait around for someone that doesn't even realize that you are waiting for her. I will also never approach a dancer while she is sitting with another customer. I have had alot of guys do this to me, thinking that I was just a friend of the dancer's visiting with her. It really pissed me off, so I won't do it to anyone else.
• Player11

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  15 years ago

  You may enlist the aid of a coctail waitress by giving her $5 or $10. A good one will let her know your intrested without alerting the guys at the table. If you are a reg in a club, it helps to have a waitress who you know and will do your bidding....
• ZoePi

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  15 years ago

  Good responses guys. I guess I should clarify some of my assumed times - lol. What may have been 20 minutes felt like 2 hours. Unfortunately in where I live we only have 5 clubs spread all over the city. So sometimes making the commute to another club isn't worth it just for some titties - lol. But I do understand how it can be annoying to be interrupted whilst you are with someone. It really disrupts flow of your time/experience with the girl.
• Clubber

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  15 years ago

  Player11 it it right on the nose for me. The bartender is a friend and she directs the good dancers to me.
• potheadpl

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  15 years ago

  I just ask the waitress to let my favorite know I've arrived. My favorite was busy with another customer on Friday and couldn't come over for a while. That worked out, because I ended up sitting with two new girls, one of whom gave me her number.
• DandyDan

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  15 years ago

  It's not generally a good idea to go up to a dancer when she is with someone else. On the other hand, I once did that with a dancer who I wanted a dance with (it probably helped I wasn't very sober at the time), and was able to get a dance from the girl. She looked bored, so I just went up to her. This was the best pure dancer I've ever met, and I lost interest in her eventually, but on this occasion, this was the best private dance I ever got from her.
• 59

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  15 years ago

  Another option if you know another dancer in the club is to ask her to check with your target dancer. She can have what appears to be a quick "girl talk" converation with the target, then report back to you the scoop on whether the target can break free or will be tied up for awhile. This has worked well for me in the past. Even if the response is it's going to be quite awhile it's good to know that so I can move onto greener pastures.
• chandler

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  15 years ago

  If she's sitting in contact with the guy, or if they're engaged in conversation, I won't approach her. But sometimes, they're just sitting apart, hardly talking, so I don't feel like I'm intruding on anything to briefly tell her it would be great if she could join me when she's not busy. Usually it works and she's glad I made the move. In other situations, I'll get up and walk slowly past her table, making a point of looking at her and smiling if she looks back. If it's not too awkward, I might give her a love tap as I pass by. Anytime I've tried moving to a spot where I can catch her on her way to the dressing room, it hasn't worked out. It just makes me more frustrated and bored with waiting. I'm better off staying in my seat and trying to have fun in other ways. What often seems to happen is that after I've already given up on the girl, she'll suddenly approach me or pass right by where I can snag her. Having a waitress convey your interest doesn't sound to me like a fun way to go about it. Besides, it seems that it could easily get translated as simply, "That guy wants a dance." I'm hoping she'll come and sit with me, not just take me off to the dance area. But if that's all you can come up with, I'd say it's still better than leaving disappointed.
• gatorfan

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  15 years ago

  If it's a new stripper you dont already know, then the bartender is your best friend and avenue towards getting a message to the girl you are interested in a lap dance.
• harrydave

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  15 years ago

  I might wait 30 minutes or so for a favorite, maybe get a fluffer to warm me up if the time drags on. I would not interrupt her if she is sitting with other guys. Here's a different take though. If she is sitting with guys, and she is not giving dances or otherwise partying, and this goes on for a while, and there are other available guys like you, then there are some not so savory possibilities: a) you are butt ugly b) she is in a bad mood c) one of the guys is her jealous, abusive boyfriend d) any combo of a, b and c
• Scoops

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  15 years ago

  harrydave, I would add e) she's just stupid. Amazing that dancers who are in the club presumably to make money will sit on their buts with a non-paying customer for hours and not even think to scan the room. If she's smart she'll at least look around to see who might be interested, I'll give her a smile if she makes eye contact and that usually draws the smarter ones in. Otherwise, the suggestion from Player11 to ask the waitress is excellent. If I know the dancer's name, I'll ask if she's here (OK, I can play dumb too). I'll usually ask the waitress which dancers are best when I go to a new club (and tip them for the advice), so if the one I am interested in was on the waitress' list, I'll ask about her again. Either way a good waitress will point you out to the dancer. Again, make eye contact and smile. One last thing, the smarter dancers are all aware of who the paying customers are, so a warm up LD or two will usually get you more attention. Short story, I was in Silver and Gold in Roanoke and tipped and asked a dancer on stage for a dance when she was off stage. She said of course. I watched her sit at the bar for two hours reading a book (I did enjoy other dancers during that time), before she remembered my request. By then I told her no. Oh, and the book was Twilight (not even homework).
• Slothrop

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  15 years ago

  I wouldn't interrupt if the dancer is engaged in active conversation with a customer. On the other hand, as mentioned above, if there's no active conversation, I might approach carefully. I agree that the best approach is to explain the situation to a waitress, tip the waitress and let her do the work. Or, if do go over while the dancer is sitting at another table with someone else, it may be effective to quickly show the dancer that you have a crisp, new one hundred dollar bill in your palm.
• chandler

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  15 years ago

  All kidding aside, the most common reason a hot stripper will hang with one guy for hours on end is that he's her regular and he pays her well, even though nothing appears to be happening. The next most common is that she doesn't like going around asking for dances, because she's insecure, not stupid. In the case of the former, you're out of luck. If it's the latter, a little initiative is all it usually takes to get her to join you. A few times, I've made a move on her when the guy has gone to the men's room and left her alone at the table. Devious, but sometimes effective.
• potheadpl

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  15 years ago

  A couple of girls sat with me for well over an hour on Friday. I tipped them on stage but didn't get dances until we'd sat for that hour. I was in rare form, kinda stoned, and was cracking jokes the whole time. They were laughing so hard I thought they were going to pee. Did they make any money that hour? Couple bucks on stage. But I think they had a good time----then they made their dance money.
• samsung1

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  15 years ago

  player11 gives a good reply but if she comes over to you knowing that you are interested in getting a dance then she has a bargaining chip so it is difficult to get the mileage or discount. Also if the dancer is too lazy or too tired to circulate around the room then she is probably going to be lazy or tired back in the lap dance room.
• SuperDude

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  15 years ago

  If she gets up to go the dressing room, catch her on the way in or out and tip her and tease her about being kept waiting. Be playful. It might work.
• shadowcat

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  15 years ago

  Dancers do have a code of ethics.They will not approach a customer that is already sitting with a dancer.If they know me and my dancer well, they will come over and join us just to chat.I follow the same practice. The best way to get a dancers attention is to tip her on stage and whisper in her ear.
• potheadpl

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  15 years ago

  If someone on stage appeals to me, I'll tip her a fiver and ask her to sit with me when she gets off stage. It always works. Always. And teasingly ask why she's ignoring you. As far as the dancer's code of ethics, I find it varies. I had three girls sitting with me on Friday. One on each side and my favorite on my lap. I sensed no animosity, and I got a dance with each of them. And I bought drinks. Hmm. Could that be why they were all sitting with me? :-)
• chandler

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  15 years ago

  In response to a couple of comments, I've never found that whether I approach a stripper or vice versa makes any difference in the kind of dance I get. As for girls who don't circulate, they may not be the most aggressive dancers, but if anything, they're more likely to spend time sitting and getting acquainted first, which can be as fun as the dance for me.
• gk

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  15 years ago

  I think the "rules" and sense of decorum are all relative to the location and your relationship with the dancer. It's polite not to interupt anyone when they are busy, so that should extend to clubvbing. BUT there can be exceptions. When I walk in to my favorite clubs and I see favorite dancers at the bar with other guys, I'll walk by and touch her shoulder to acknowledge her. I she is one of my current close favs, I'll stop and give her a hug and stay stopo over for a drink when you're done. She know that means I want to spend money on her.
• wallanon

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  15 years ago

  I don't interrupt if the other guy got to her first. If I can't find anything else interesting to do, I'm probably in a lousy club to begin with. The issue I tend to have is the dancer I'd like to see is available and can't approach because another one is gripping the table. Lately it's been tougher to work a clean release once a dancer is locked in on scoring some dollars. When it's a dancer I talked with earlier who is the only one that will do, if I am getting close to leaving I'll ask a waitress or dancer to let her know. If she doesn't come right over, no big deal. I just leave and there's more cash for later. They usually do. Have I ever gotten frustrated waiting on a dancer? Yes, but not lately. To the OP: If the girl you want gets up and goes to the back, that's a good time to send someone to reach out. Make sure you can describe what she's wearing in case you're in a club where the girls don't know each other.
• casualguy

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  15 years ago

  I tried to remember when I wanted a particular dancer to come over to my table. I finally remembered one from a few years ago. I tipped her on stage and thought maybe she would eventually come by. However she instead kept sitting with what appeared to be a boyfriend. I wasn't going to interrupt them. I was occasionally distracted by other dancers. I do believe after tipping her on stage every time (she looked very nice) she finally came over and asked for a dance one night. I'm thinking it's possible I turned her down after all that time where she only sat with her boyfriend and a couple of regulars. That would be nice if there was a really hot dancer that I really wanted to get dances from. I imagine she would look like eye candy to me. It's been years since I've seen a dancer like that.
• mroo

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  15 years ago

  I'd ask the guys at the table if they minded if I stole her away from them for a few minutes. There's nothing wrong with being politely assertive. In my experience, most customers respond politely (and go along with it) while the dancer is usually flattered as well.
• magicrat

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  15 years ago

  The only time I wanted to see a dancer who was sitting at a table with other guys, I walked past the table to tip another dancer on stage and looked at the girl I wanted dances with the entire way up and back. I caught her eye and smiled and it wasn't 3 minutes until she came over and sat with me. I have gone to the club where my fav works unannounced (she usually knows I'm coming) and she was sitting at a table with a couple guys. Like some of the other guys have said, as I walked by on the way to the restroom I just touched her shoulder and told her I need to talk to her for just a couple minutes. She almost immediately left them and came over to where I was sitting. Guess it depends on the other talent and how badly you want to see the dancer.