My advice for guys I take Strip Clubbing

And there you go, the Subraman New Guy speech, in all its glory :)

Good advice

If you're new, these are helpful things to keep in mind. As Subraman mentioned, there is no one "right way" to club. It helps to have a common sense approach to things while finding the style that works best for you.

patrick swayze?

I avoid this whole mess by refusing to take new guys (or girls) to clubs with me. Let them learn on someone else's dime. Bad enough that I still have the habit of taking brand new dancers for what inevitably turn out to be shitty dances.....I don't want to spend my visit babysitting a newb. And I also don't want the dancers to think that we are a "couple". Talk about a visit killer.

I may sound cold but put on your big boy/big girl panties and learn about it the same way many of us did - alone and terrified.

-->"patrick swayze?"

Fuck to the yes.

Back off, Warchild.

-->"I avoid this whole mess by refusing to take new guys (or girls) to clubs with me."

Totally get it. For me, a lot of my ITC fun is the fact that it's social, I love SCing with a group of guys... and since guys who I can trust to keep their traps shut are already somewhat rare, and there's always guys dropping out of the group for various reasons, we have to cultivate new blood to keep the group going. There's only 2 of us who have been fixtures since the old days.

Most of these guys' experiences at SCs, before they come SCing with us, is the classic "stripper comes up to me, talks to me for 30 seconds, then asks me if a I want a dance and goes away if I say no." The reason I emphasize paying her if she sits around, is because the girls will easily come and sit with us for a long while without ever asking for a dance, because they know that if we let them stay, it means they'll be compensated. Can't let the new guys get confused over why she's sitting there. Send her away forthwith, or be prepared to tip her or take her for dances.

Great advice.

I would add - be patient and wait for a dancer you are really attracted to then go all in.

I've taken a couple of newbies to a SC and watched them go ape shit crazy over the first vaguely cute scantily clad honey that sat in their lap. They just didn't know the finer honey's are usually slower to come around and missed out.

Subra, you are lucky to have a group of friends to SC with. All my friends are too smart to piss their money away on clubbing making them not much fun to party with.

I club as a lone wolf. Love the don't be a little bitch guidance. So true. Most of the chickies want us to be Big Daddies. Gotta act like one.

good advice subraman.

-->"Love the don't be a little bitch guidance."

So far, at least 2 or 3 of the guys have listened to my little speech, and said something like, "Don't be an asshole, and don't be a little bitch. Seems like good advice for life in general."

I almost shed a tear, it makes me realize they're ready :)

-->"Subra, you are lucky to have a group of friends to SC with"

Over the years I've come to appreciate it more and more. I understand why so many guys don't like SCing with friends, it's just not nearly as much fun SCing with guys who have the "it's our annual guys night out, woohooo tittays!" attitude. But SCing with other hardcore PLs -- and the lucky newbie PLs-in-training -- is a blast.

I don't advertise my habit with my civvie friends, I prefer to go it alone.

There are times that I feel obligated to club with a group, such as when a group from work plans anot after work outing. I only go if it is not one of my regular clubs, and I don't buy dances on those visits. I just watch and tip.

I haven't knowingly met up with any fellow TUSCLers, but I do think that would be a hoot.

What an excellent distillation of advice, and not just for SCs:

• Don't be an asshole
• Don't be a little bitch!

Most of my clubbing has been of the lone wolf variety, because none of my long-term friends are into the hobby. However, I have made one good TUSCL friend with whom I've clubbed several times, including almost monthly this year. In general our presence at the same table acts as a force amplifier, improving both of our games.

@ subra I like that don't be a little bitch it is what I have been saying for years @ MrDeuce I have a few friends that I club with regularly, and have clubbed with a few TUSCLers you are so right that it is a force multiplier and it absolutely enhances you club experience.

Yeah, I think "why go SCing with other PLs" deserves it's own topic on the discussion board, maybe. I'm convinced that most guys who hate the idea of going SCing with a group -- usually because of how bad it sucks to SC with amateurs -- would enjoy SCing in a group if they had the right group. It isn't just having other guys to party with and more social interactions going on at the table, there's the fact that you can swap stories, compare YMMV on the same stripper, get ROB and other reports from the other guys, etc

I club with a gang of ex-coworkers once a year, typically between Halloween and Christmas. They're a good crew, don't generally act like idiots, and before Uber was around, we'd all chip in on a limo. That said, I generally club alone; less drama, no babysitting, and I can arrive and depart on my own schedule.

"I'm convinced that most guys who hate the idea of going SCing with a group -- usually because of how bad it sucks to SC with amateurs -- would enjoy SCing in a group if they had the right group."

Agreed. I don't mind clubbing with other mongers that understand the game and how it's played, whether that is with just one other person or a group. That can truly be alot of fun. But "amateur hour" with the uninitiated? Oh hell no.

"I'm convinced that most guys who hate the idea of going SCing with a group -- usually because of how bad it sucks to SC with amateurs"

This is why I walked away the first time and stayed away for years. When I went it was always with a group of guys and it seemed like the majority of the time I was the voice of reason and the lone non-asshole in the group.

The only reason I ever set foot in a club again was a series of circumstances where a girl I met on SA was a stripper and didn't want to tell me. She had me meet her at work one night which turned out to be a club after I had seen her OTC a few times. After the initial surprise I had a good time but I've never set foot in that particular club again and the girl and I parted ways a couple of years ago.

I got a third: "If you are stupid enough to pay for dances with a credit card, you're buy me 1 hour in the VIP."

I never even thought of anyone doing something that monumentally stupid. That said, in the clubs I go to, in order to pay for dances with a credit card, you have to go buy funny money at the front desk, and they take 15% off the top right off the bat. I would spot them first if I saw them headed towards the funny money desk

One of my recent female civvie friends wanted to go to strip clubs and I wish this article had been around before we went the first time. She made all the amateur mistakes (and even some new ones).

My latest civvie female friend wants to as well, but I'm going to make her read this first.

Back when my job funded all my SCing, buying Gold Bucks with the corporate CC was common. SCing was way more fun when doing it with OPM.

You are a veteran among strip club veterans. Your advice on drink/food purchases for dancers is spot on. I NEVER get lap dances from a stripper unless we have our 1 on 1 conversation first, to make sure we are both on same page. A $10 drink purchase gives you more than enough time to feel your girl out (literally and figuratively) and decide whether she's worth the extra money to spend on lap dances, or whatever else. The girls also see the purchase as an opportunity for mo' money mo' money mo' money, so they are more willing to negotiate a deal on your turns. Overall, show the girls respect in the club and most of the time, they will show respect for you.

I was more hoping you'd say I ain't bringing ya lol

Great article!

I've done some of the maybe later myself. It was always a waste of everyones' time!

Thanks guys, glad you found it useful!

Very good advice for newbs and non-newbs.

In the end, strip-club interactions are about business even if most us PLs may not consciously see it that way - we tend to be in the "how it makes me feel" mode vs most dancers are into "how can I get the most $$$ from this guy" mode - i.e. for us the strip-clubs are about pleasure and for the dancers it's about business and in business one gets the best outcomes being direct but fair - thus Subra's direct but "don't be an asshole" is the best and straightest way to get from strip-club point-A to strip-club point-B (i.e. where everyone gets what they want) - in essence it is said if one wants a good-answer one should ask a good-question - in a sorta vise-versa way if one wants the proper stripper reaction (no drama, etc) and should have good answers to give and good-answers are usually short and direct.

The part about explicit consent goes hand-in-hand w/ Subra's approach about the no-nonsense direct approach - I agree that is the most sensical way to go about it - but there are times w/ a dancer IDK very well that I may ask if I can do 'X' and for many dancers the default/reflex reaction/answer is to say no since dancers by default often wanna "keep custies in line" or do the least for the mo$t so they'll say no b/c they know many custies; particularly newbs; can be easily "kept in line (at least her lines)" and they still keep buying dances - thus I will usually use the implicit approach as Subra described to let her know that is what I want or what I'm used to and w/ some dancers they'll go along b/c they wanna keep giving me dances b/c I made it known that is what I want via my actions - this is not to say that every dancer will give me what I want b/c I explicitly showed what I want but I do feel I've gotten farther by doing/trying than by just asking - of course the implicit approach described by Subra has a bigger possibility of backfiring and the dancer using the opportunity to go off on you, but this is usually not the case IME and at worst they usually give me an explicit or implicit warning (moving their body, etc) and if she blows up I've SCed enough to be able to handle it - this is not to say Subra's explicit approach is not the better one, overall it is, I just prefer to take more chances since it can at times lead to better-results.

w.r.t. custies being intimidated - I'm sure many are but again I think many don't consciously see they are in a business environment vs a social environment - sure, SCs are social and about socializing; but in the end IMO it's business - so many PLs are subconsciously in social vs business mode/mindset and thus their responses to dancers b/c in society we are trained to be kind and accommodating to others particularly men to women - and like any aggressive sales-person, strippers will use anything they can to their advantage to make the sale including using one's innate kindness to others (as we are taught, or it being innate) - so I think the "intimidation factor" is often a custy not being cognizant what environment he's in and that a stripper is coming at him like a used car salesman (which is hard to make the connection when the bitch is practically naked and looking hot).

Excellent article - required reading for any newb or anyone w/ LBS (little bitch syndrome).

I can only imagine what dancers/StripperWebbers think when they see PL advice like this being ditched out - LOL.

-->"I can only imagine what dancers/StripperWebbers think when they see PL advice like this being ditched out - LOL."

Heh, I'd love to hear it myself. Here is a true story: a local well-known stripper contacted me and thanked me for this article (!!!). She felt it was even-handed, and while she didn't mention the "don't be a little bitch" section, she loved the "don't be an asshole" section. In particular, she felt the "wave your hand and turn away" is incredibly disrespectful. When I quizzed her on it, she knew the right answer: most of the time, customers who do this aren't really being assholes; rather, they're socially awkward, and so scared of a verbal interaction they do this to avoid it completely. I could easily have put this one in the "don't be a little bitch" section

-->"I agree that is the most sensical way to go about it - but there are times w/ a dancer IDK very well that I may ask if I can do 'X' and for many dancers the default/reflex reaction/answer is to say no since dancers by default often wanna "keep custies in line" or do the least for the mo$t so they'll say no b/c they know many custies; particularly newbs; can be easily "kept in line (at least her lines)" and they still keep buying dances - thus I will usually use the implicit approach as Subra described to let her know that is what I want or what I'm used to and w/ some dancers they'll go along b/c they wanna keep giving me dances b/c I made it known that is what I want via my actions"

I agree that a lot of the time, the implicit approach is fine, it does constitute consent if you move slowly enough that she knows where you're going. I should be clear that I feel you should NEVER EVER ask the stripper before the dance, "what are your rules?", that's the way to be guaranteed you'll get her lowest-common-denominator rules.

-->"w.r.t. custies being intimidated - I'm sure many are but again I think many don't consciously see they are in a business environment vs a social environment "

Yep, I think the two main contributing factors to being a little bitch, are 1. general social awkwardness, and 2. confusion over the fact that this is a business environment. And strongly agreed, the girls use this to their advantage -- although as we see on StripperWeb so often, the LOVE it when they confuse a PL and it pays dividends for them, HATE it when that confusion leads him to "cross the line", even though her doing the one is what directly leads to him doing the other

"... a local well-known stripper contacted me and thanked me for this article ..."

The pros (dancers) are often savvy business women and are not into playing games nor browbeating PLs and thus are fine w/, and often prefer, custies being straight when they are not interested even if this means they are not making the sale (in part b/c it doesn't waste their time and they can hit better prospects).

As usual very nice read. Also enjoyed the comments.

By the way the same article applies to Dancers as well. Exact same - 1/ don't be an asshole 2/ don't be bitch - and a dancer will do just fine.

Amazing advice as well

Thanks Subraman. Papi_Chulo directed me here and this was an excellent post and one I needed to read. I have a mild case of Little Bitch Syndrome.

For strip club beginners, there's two types of guys:

• Guys who have AT LEAST a mild case of little bitch syndrome
• Guys who are lying

:)

If an attractive girl asks for a dance, just tell her what I like. If she's enthusiastic, I do it; if not, I don't. It's all straightforward.

Interesting to compare Subraman's advice about best way to say no (and not be a Little Bitch) against a post I saw on Strip Club Hound.

Subra's simple advice is: "If a stripper comes over to you and you don't want a dance, here's the best thing to say, "No thanks, but thank you anyway"."

In the Strip Club Hound post, the question asked was, "Here's a question. What's the best way of saying "thanks but no thanks" to a dancer?" Strip Club Hound's response was: Here are some of the things I say to a dancer that I know I'm not going to want to spend time with. • "Thanks but I'm already promised to someone else". In all the years I've been saying this to dancers, no one has ever asked me which girl I promised. If one did, I suppose I'd say "I don't know her name but I'll know her when she comes by". The girls probably all know this is bullshit unless they see me going off for a private soon after with someone but it seems to work. • "Thanks but I'm running low on funds". That seems to get rid of them fast. The trouble is they may tell other dancers "That guy doesn't have any money". • If you've just arrived: "Thanks but I have to kill two hours here before I can go to an appointment and I don't want to get any dances until I'm almost ready to leave". • If you've been there a while: "Thanks but I just got out of a private dance with someone else and I need some time to recuperate". • I've actually had fairly good luck with "Thanks but I just want to enjoy the show for a while and think about private dances later".

Subraman's simple advice is the better advice I think, and I am less of a bitch and better off for having read it. Well done, Subraman!

Yeah, for years I've used variations of some of the Strip Club Hound post, and yes, often they'll send the strippers away ... but I also found that sometimes, a combative stripper will grab onto the explanation and run with it (unlike the author, I HAVE had strippers ask me who I was waiting for). This isn't a singles bar, there's no reason to make up excuses to preserve her feelings. These days, I'd prefer "no thanks" even if it worked merely as well as making excuses, because of the healthier less-little-bitch psychology of not being on the defense; but the fact is, I feel "no thanks" actually leads to better stripper reactions and fewer negative interactions (since the strippers don't have anything to latch onto)

I sure could’ve used this one a couple years ago. But I managed to pick it up anyway. It’s not that different from dealing with any salesperson. Conventional salespeople generally wear more clothes though.

A Grade A pussy. In this case I don't agree with Subraman's Rule #1. Sometimes you need to let out your inner asshole. A girl behaving like this is akin to a dog who keeps shitting on the carpet - sometimes nothing short of the newspaper across the snout will get the point across. When it gets to this point, there's no nuance or threading the needle.

Now could he have avoided all this in the first place if he didn't give off a weak sissy vibe? No doubt. I'm sure his curled up body language and hesitation emboldened her. But here they were, with her already (rightly) assuming that he was a pushover. Some guys really should consider whether clubs are right for them, because, as we all know, girls like this are not completely uncommon.

^ Oops - wrong place for the post. Sorry.

Amazing post, and great responses from @Papi_Chulo as well. As you had mentioned, it is even handed and even the strippers would enjoy this article.

Great work. Looking forward to your awesome posts in future as well.

Preach!! Say it loud!!

I kinda want to grab some of these guys and shake them up a little bit and smack them with the black hand side of my hand. Kinda like that old movie style “slap some sense into me”….. Stop being intimidated or afraid of these women. A few ppl took offense when I said to stop being SIMPS and to man up. Thank you for this inciteful post….even though it’s an oldie it’s still a goodie.