My Life With a Dancer

Several members private texted me about a comment I made on one of the discussions stating it would be nice if wrote an article about my experience. I had just graduated from professional school and was working in the midwest. I was making decent money, drove a nice car and had a nice condo. I played in a weekly poker game and one of my friends from the game and I had a Monday afternoon "bromance" We used to meet at the pool hall and hustle pool for a few hours. He was much better than I was, but I was still more than capable of holding my own. After we had won sufficient funds, we would head to the strip club for a couple of hours for dances and drinks. We managed to cultivate a few relationships with some of the dancers in the mid to late 80's and always had a good time. This was LONG before extras were practically the norm. When we left the club we went straight to our poker game and playing until midnight or later sometimes. During the rest of the week, my office was close to another popular club which had good food. I used to go there alone once a week for lunch and maybe a dance or two. Since I was at work, I never drank alcohol, but still managed to cultivate a few friendships with some of the dancers and one waitress in particular. This went on for about 6 or 7 years when a job opportunity out west opened up and I jumped at a chance to leave the snowy midwest. There were a few popular clubs out here which I enjoyed going to after work. One day I was at one of the regular places I hung out at when a girl approached me. There was something very different about her. She seemed like a fish out of water, so to speak. She was tall with dark hair and seemed very nervous. She told me her name and that it was her first time as a dancer, and in fact this was her third day dancing. I told her to sit with me for a while. I gave her $100 just to chat. I knew there was something different about her, and after being a regular in other clubs in the midwest, I was a pretty good judge of character. She was shocked that I only wanted to talk but that was all I wanted to do. Needless to say this went on for months. I would go in there a few days a week. Give her the same $100 and we would chat. She would hold my hand, I would stroke her hair and we cultivated a friendship. One day I asked her to go on a real date and she agreed. I made it as safe as possible for her as I told her to drive herself and valet park her car. I would leave after she was long gone so she didn't feel like she was being followed. I found out a lot about her over the months. preceeding our date as well as on other dates after that. I found she was from a broken home, was raised most of her life in foster care. She was married to an abusive husband for a short period of time and wanted out when he was cheating on her. She had little choice other than to dance since she was in a strange city far from home. After a nearly a year we moved in together to a house with a garage, swimming pool in a nice neighborhood and decided to marry. Everyone was against it from my side of the fence. Her family and friends figured she hit the jackpot. Little by little my family took a liking to her and she became one of the family. She continued to dance for 10 years after we married. We went on exotic trips, lived in the best neighborhood, drove fancy new cars every two years, ate at the finest restaurants and for the most part had a great life but there was still something missing. We eventually had a child together and our life was complete. We were together for two years before we were married and we were married for 14 years. I gave her everything she wanted. I gave her what she didn't deserve and put my family and her above everything. We had our share of problems, but nothing insurmountable. She eventually quit dancing when she got a really good paying job in a field that acted as support services for what I do for a living. We still did very well, but the economy tanked and I wasn't making what I had been so times got a little tougher and money was definitely tighter. We weren't going to Beverly Hills anymore on Rodeo Drive shopping sprees, but we were still happy UNTIL she met someone at the gym. Younger than me (I am slightly older than she is), better built, and better equipped (if you know what I mean) Ultimately that led to the demise of our marriage and just like Felix Ungar in the Odd Couple, I was asked to leave my home for the luxurious surroundings of a weekly crack hotel. All my family said to me was "we told you not to marry her" Thanks! Here I was on the balls of my ass with a bottle of booze and a gun to my head every night trying to figure out a reason not to pull the trigger night after night. It's true what they say about the days going by quickly but the nights drag on forever. I barely had a career left, drove a beater car that barely ran and was completely done with life all the while HE was in my house with my wife and my kid. Once night I decided I would go online and see if I could chat with a girl on one of the dating sites. I found one girl who intrigued me, but was most likely a bigger waste than I was. She was left by her husband on the side of the road penniless and had to move with her parents at age 45. We cultivated a relationship. She was interested in my career and I threw away the gun and the booze and started again. Boy did I start again....one thing led to another and I was on top of the world again. Better than I was before! We eventually eloped and got married. She joined my life and supported me in everything I did. I never spoke to my ex or my child again. I couldn't. I had such hatred for her I couldn't stomach the site of her. My child bore the brunt of it, and he would learn to hate and her new husband as much as I did because of how my FAMILY was taken from me. 4 years have passed and she texts me out of the clear blue chewing me out for not caring about her or our child. I agreed to meet her on my terms in a public place. She cried to me about how miserable she was and how she made the biggest mistake of her life. She wanted me to forgive her for being stupid and wanted me to come back to her. I told her "God forgives, I don't" I told her that all the while she was out with Mr. Bad Boy did she even think about me? Did she care if I was dead or alive? I told her I moved on and I was sorry she did what she did, but she has to answer to herself. I told her she could come to my office and I might be able to help her with a few support contracts but that is the extent of it. She said my son wanted to see me and I told her her new husband was more than free to adopt him. She destroyed a child's life and he could take over and be the "man". I was too busy now to have visitation days, nor is it how I envisioned my life. Call me cold hearted but nobody knows what I went through. I said I might be able to see him once in a while for an hour or two during the week which I have done maybe once a month. Our time together involves me picking him up from school and taking him shopping for something she can't afford and then dropping him off a few blocks from his house since I don't want to go anywhere near where she lives. She lost OUR home, sold everything I bought for the house or for her except OUR bed from what she told me. Her new guy doesn't work, and she supports him. He's been in and out of jail. I told her it wouldn't be too hard for me to take her child from her as well as ruin her career and put her back on the pole in her mid 40's. I told her if she tests me, I will. Hmmmm, isn't that the story of quite a few strippers? Funny how some things rarely change. I see her about once a week now when she comes to my new fancy office. She sits across from me at my desk. My secretaries let her in and she sits where any visitor does. There are no pictures in my office of family. Only of yachts and sailboats since our dream was to buy a boat and sail the Caribbean. I am a few months away from buying that now, and in fact she was here today and the yacht broker called asking for my particulars. She was there when he called and you could see the color drain from her face. I told her I was planning to buy one in California and have it trailered here until I was ready to retire, and then wherever the sails take me, that is where I will call home. Yes I miss her and my life. I would have considered trying it again with her a few years ago, but I am stronger now and finally learned what it is like to "know yourself". I rarely go to strip clubs anymore. Once in a while on a whim for an hour or so just to "remember" what it was like. I love reading the stories on these boards. I keep my comments to myself most of the time. It brings back memories of a life gone by. Not so much hanging out in the clubs, but as being one of the few to find true love with a dancer only to have it ripped apart by someone else. For that alone, the fire burns inside and keeps me warm at night. Thank you for reading.