My Sugar Daddy / Sugar Baby Experiment
steve229
I checked out some of the sites mentioned in the article and found SeekingArrangement.com to be the most legitimate. I liked their flat rate pricing plan and signed up for a 30 day membership. I worked up a profile and posted a public (obscured) pic and some private pics of me all suited up and looking distinguished, lol. Once you had a profile up, then you could search through the profiles of SB's in your area and send emails to the ones that interested you.
Turns out in the DC metro area there is a rich demographic of attractive, college educated, single girls in their mid-twenties on SA. They have regular jobs, but with the high cost of living here, student loans to pay off, etc. they have a hard time making ends meet or affording any luxuries. A few hundred extra bucks a week (in tax free cash) is big for them. They're also at the age where they are tired of dating the broke, knucklehead guys their own age and appreciate an older, mature guy who can take them out to a nice restaurant or a little shopping once in a while (or so they say on their profiles). I must have had a pretty good profile myself, because I had a lot of SBs contact me first. We would exchange emails and private pics over the site, and if things went well, agree to meet in a public place for drinks and conversation. I had a lot of fun just going on these "dates", met some nice girls, but didn't find the chemistry I was looking for (sometimes the on-line attraction didn't translate when we met in person).
I had to renew my membership and was beginning to wonder if this was going to ever pan out when I finally met my SB to be. After exchanging emails and private pics on SA, we met for drinks and hit it off right away. She was 25, tall, blonde, looked a little like Scarlet Johansson in the face, all natural, no tattoos or piercing, and had done some small time modeling on the side. Over dinner she was very open about being conflicted about the whole SB thing, but said she needed a little financial help at the moment. We exchanged phone numbers afterwards and then texted back and forth for a few days. Finally she said she was comfortable with me, that she had deleted her profile on SA, and was ready for our first real SD/SB date (woo-hoo!).
We ate dinner in the hotel restaurant, which was a wise choice, because my SB drank most of the bottle of wine we ordered, I guess working up some liquid courage. She said it was her first time doing anything like this, and I tended to believe her, based on how nervous she was, and also how afterwards she locked herself in the hotel room bathroom and threw up - probably from the sheer revulsion, lol.
Luckily, she got over that pretty fast, and things progressed nicely after that (she actually turned out to be a pretty "naughty" girl, lol).
The Arrangement
I gave my SB a weekly "allowance" - in person, in cash. It was about what I would pay for a 30 minute VIP (with tip), but this was usually for an entire evening, so overall a better value. Naturally I paid for everything when we went out (drinks, meals, hotel, tickets for shows, etc.). Once we started our arrangement I stopped going to the clubs, both for monetary reasons and ironically, because I didn't want to "cheat" on my SB. She was happy with our monetary arrangement, and never asked for extra money, "loans" or anything like that. I did get her gifts on special occasions, like a Kindle for Christmas, and when she broke her iPod I bought her a new one.
On Valentine's Day I sent a dozen long stemmed roses to her workplace. She texted me to thank me and was very excited. All her co-workers were envious and wondering about her secret admirer. Her friends, family and co-workers knew she was seeing someone, but obviously she couldn't tell them who I was or what kind of arrangement we had. I enjoyed being her mystery lover and the subject of endless speculation.
For her Birthday I took her to a five star restaurant and got their special birthday package where they made a big fuss over her. They had a special menu printed up with her name on it wishing her happy birthday, and she got an engraved wine glass to take home. They took a picture of us at the table and at the end of the evening brought us two framed prints. Needless to say, I didn't get to display mine anywhere.
I also took her clothes shopping occasionally, and she would model the clothes for me as she tried them on. It was fun to see here try on a pair of short shorts or a mini-skirt. It reminded me of the scene from "The New Guy" where he takes Eliza Dushku's character shopping. Even then she was never extravagant, I would spend a couple hundred at most, usually less.
Arm Candy & PDA
It wasn't all just furtive meetings in a hotel, either. We did the usual dinner and a movie routine, but we also did a lot of other fun "couple" stuff - we went to the zoo (pandas!), wine tastings, art galleries, concerts, went to a day spa and had a "couples massage" (and not the kind with a happy ending, lol), went hiking, took days trips to wineries, amusement parks and the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, stayed at a bed 'n breakfast once, etc.
Part of the SD/SB dynamic is the ego boost a middle-aged (or older) guy gets being seen with a young hottie on his arm, and I was no exception. I loved the looks we got when we walked into some place arm in arm. We always got really good service from bartenders, waitresses and sales clerk. You could tell they were curious, wondering what our deal was. When we stayed at the B&B the owner was a woman in her 40's, still attractive herself in a MILF way. At breakfast she keep coming over to our table to check on us, and spent a lot of time chatting - I could tell she was just dying to ask the question on her mind.
As we dated, my SB became more and more affectionate, including in public. One time I was waiting for my SB to join me for lunch at this trendy bistro in Old Town. At the table across from me there were a couple WASPy stay-at-home Mom types, in their Lululemon outfits and a couple toddlers in designer strollers. When my SB came in I stood up to greet her; we hugged and then shared a long, intimate kiss on the lips. When I sat back down and looked up the two Moms were staring at us with their mouths open and a look of horror on their faces.
Another time we went to Sunday brunch at the hotel. By now we'd become one of those "same-sider" couples - you know, the kind that always get a booth and sit next to instead of across from each other so they can hold hands, whisper, feed each other bites of food, and (in my case) surreptitiously grope my SB's thigh under the table. There was an extended family at the large table across from us, looked like grandparents, couple set of parents, and several kids. I noticed this young boy, probably about twelve, dressed up in a white shirt and tie, looking in our direction with a big smile on his face, and then I realized that from where he was sitting he had a direct view of my SB's thighs, the little perv!
A Close call
You're probably thinking, "Steve, with a wife, and a "sensitive" job, wasn't it risky, reckless even, to be seen out and about in all those places with your SB?" The answer is yes and yes. But that illicit thrill was part of the whole attraction. I really think I was a little out of my mind at the time.
I never got "caught," but had a couple close calls. Once I was strolling hand in hand with my SB through the mall, and narrowly missed running into a work colleague and his wife, which would have been awkward to say the least. I had coached my SB to pretend she was my "niece" if something like that ever happened. Of course, that wouldn't have worked with the other close call.
I was meeting my SB at a bar in Old Town. She had texted me that she was already there and waiting. I had to park down the street and as I was walking towards the bar I saw my son and his girlfriend leaving the same bar. I doubled back so they wouldn't see me, then went into the bar when the coast was clear. Another few minutes either way, and I would have been on an inadvertent double date!
Ending things
Definitely seems like there's a shelf life for these kind of arrangements, nothing in particular, just that feeling you get when you've seen the same fav for a little too long. For well over a year we saw each other once or twice a week. We texted back and forth almost every day. It got to be a little overwhelming towards the end, and I actually felt relieved when she indicated she wanted to call it quits. We met one final time, and she gave me a card with a farewell note - thanking me for getting her over a rough spot, the fun times we spent together, and all the new experiences she otherwise would not have had - and that was that.
All in all, having a SB was a fun and unique experience and I have no real regrets. That said, I'm happy (for now) to go back to the clubs, and just get dances and whatever hanky-panky I can get away with in the VIP.
"Got the money, got the moves,
Got the looks and the breaks,
Got the shirt, got the shoes,
Got what it takes
Sugar, sugar daddy"
--"Sugar Daddy"
Tom Jones
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43 comments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqqGFoASs…
Def one of the best articles I’ve read – great job!!!
Was this girl really worth abandoning your tuscl buddies for all those long months?
Sheesh.....!
I admire your honesty jack – try posting that on SW :)
Did she not nickel-and-dime you to death because of rules you set at the beginning or did she just know better?
I've had little luck setting up lasting SD/SB arrangements with dancers. Part of the blame is my lack of courage to be candid on expectations and part of the blame is the dancers lack of understanding how to make it a sustainable win/win for both of us.
@jackslash - lol. Guess I just have a thing for the brainy ones
@farmerart - hey, it's nice to be back
@likes2look - That's my one regret :(
@Lone_Wolf - On their profiles SBs select what level of monthly support they expect: $1-3K, $3-5K, $5-$10K, $10+K. Most girls check the $1-3K per month range. My SB would have been right in the middle of that range, higher I guess if you included meals, gifts etc. Yes, setting expectations and ground rules in the beginning was key I think.
I think for the most part strippers are not optimum SB material. But you never know. Your SB sounds like just the type to make it work.
Could you share some stories about the other girls that didn't work out; or just some of the not good experiences you had?
Great article steve, so glad you're back, after such a long period of inactivity on TUSCL, I thought you were gone for good.
Glad I was wrong. :)
I am truly single; would there be an advantage for me to state that I am married?
@sonic - a fair number of SBs put something in their profiles about "no married men" so being (truly) single will give you more options
I have also had a few SM/SB setups in the past and I've started a new one recently. We'll see how it goes.
I got my first reply on seekingarrangments; it seem legit too and she is pretty hot. But who knows.
ANY ADVICE OUT THERE? On closing the deal, communicating on these sites; anything... Thanks.
Though I too am curious as to your "security" arrangements that allowed you to get away with such public activity unnoticed. I avoided public appearances; both of us had reasons for that.
I just read your article a second time, thinking a bit more deeply about it this second time.
First time through, I salivated over the thought of all that hot sex with with the lovely sugar baby and I envied you with all the carnal desire my horny old mind could create.
Second time through, I realized that there was much more than just sex for you in this relationship (if I am to believe the words that you wrote). Your words describe pride that you felt being in the company of your sugar baby. Your words describe the fleeting joy you experienced when you were in her company. Your words just glow with the ego burst you felt when you were with her. Being the avuncular mentor to a young woman was a role you loved playing.
The time and emotions that you invested in this relationship suggest that there was more than just hot sex in the deal for you. How did you survive the ending of the relationship? Your psyche is in good shape? No residual regrets or longings for what you once had with this girl?
Or.......are you just a callow horndog like ol' farmerart?
And yes, I enjoyed my "mentor" role. When we first got together she was very dissatisified with her job. It was a case where she was doing almost all of her boss' work, who then took all the credit. I encouraged her to look at other opportunities, both inside and outside her company, even going so far as to take her shopping and help her pick out a new "interview" outfit. When she got hired by a new company, with a significant promotion and salary increase, I felt just like a proud (sugar) daddy. Of course, that and the other assistance I'd given her meant she didn't need me as much, so I kinda worked myself out of my SD role.
As for me, I think I was infatuated more so with the whole notion of having a sugar baby, and like all infatuations, it played itself out. Still, it was a fun experience, and well worth the cost...
...just as long as she doesn't show up on my doorstep with Steve Jr., lol
I don't think I'd be "monogamous" enough. I'd rather have a less frequent thing, more along the lines of what Lopaw described. Couple of dates per month with some flexibility on my part as to when, as long as the SB was reliable and not flaky.
I'd miss my ITC experiences too much I think to give them up completely and wouldn't be concerned about "cheating" on the SB as I'm sure she would be "cheating" on me, with another arrangement or in her personal life.
My SB made it clear up front she only wanted one SD, so our expectations matched. Of course, that implied a higher level of support on my part - exclusivity has a price tag apparently, lol
I can't be 100% certain that she didn't have someone in her personal life, but just based on the amount of time we spent together and how much I knew about her life it seems very doubtful.
Just curious. Since it went so well for you, are you considering trying another? Or was it, one and done, and back to the strip club scene? It sounds like your experience was so perfect, I think it would be tough to find a SD/SB relationship to top that.
Funny thing tho, this week my CF (out of the blue) suggested we get together this weekend to have "lunch, or dinner or see a movie." Maybe I'm putting out a residual sugar daddy vibe, lol
It's mighty tempting though, isn't it? There are certain aspects that just can't be matched by the hit and run ITC, or even OTC encounter. That's not to say that either one is precisely *better* than the other, but there's an undeniable attraction.
So far, I've resisted the temptation to repeat as well.
They usually call after and say lets go shopping, help me pay my rent, I need to make a car payment but I just ignore them. This way i get a cute hot girl 25 years younger than me all night for 100 buck and dinner. About half the time they come back again and again and are happy with 100, half expect a lot more and I ignore them.
She is younger indeed and not as mature; but for $70 ... all I can say is wow.
Soon I will post my own article about my experiences (FAKE pics for my first meeting lol).
Don't give up in your search is my take home message.