My Sugar Daddy / Sugar Baby Experiment

avatar for steve229
steve229
A couple years ago I read a fascinating article about college girls and recent college grads becoming Sugar Babies to pay for tuition or pay off student loans. I always liked having a fav and getting GFE in the clubs, and I had some OTC dates where we went out to dinner and shopping, so becoming a Sugar Daddy seemed like a logical progression.

I checked out some of the sites mentioned in the article and found SeekingArrangement.com to be the most legitimate. I liked their flat rate pricing plan and signed up for a 30 day membership. I worked up a profile and posted a public (obscured) pic and some private pics of me all suited up and looking distinguished, lol. Once you had a profile up, then you could search through the profiles of SB's in your area and send emails to the ones that interested you.

Turns out in the DC metro area there is a rich demographic of attractive, college educated, single girls in their mid-twenties on SA. They have regular jobs, but with the high cost of living here, student loans to pay off, etc. they have a hard time making ends meet or affording any luxuries. A few hundred extra bucks a week (in tax free cash) is big for them. They're also at the age where they are tired of dating the broke, knucklehead guys their own age and appreciate an older, mature guy who can take them out to a nice restaurant or a little shopping once in a while (or so they say on their profiles). I must have had a pretty good profile myself, because I had a lot of SBs contact me first. We would exchange emails and private pics over the site, and if things went well, agree to meet in a public place for drinks and conversation. I had a lot of fun just going on these "dates", met some nice girls, but didn't find the chemistry I was looking for (sometimes the on-line attraction didn't translate when we met in person).

I had to renew my membership and was beginning to wonder if this was going to ever pan out when I finally met my SB to be. After exchanging emails and private pics on SA, we met for drinks and hit it off right away. She was 25, tall, blonde, looked a little like Scarlet Johansson in the face, all natural, no tattoos or piercing, and had done some small time modeling on the side. Over dinner she was very open about being conflicted about the whole SB thing, but said she needed a little financial help at the moment. We exchanged phone numbers afterwards and then texted back and forth for a few days. Finally she said she was comfortable with me, that she had deleted her profile on SA, and was ready for our first real SD/SB date (woo-hoo!).

We ate dinner in the hotel restaurant, which was a wise choice, because my SB drank most of the bottle of wine we ordered, I guess working up some liquid courage. She said it was her first time doing anything like this, and I tended to believe her, based on how nervous she was, and also how afterwards she locked herself in the hotel room bathroom and threw up - probably from the sheer revulsion, lol.

Luckily, she got over that pretty fast, and things progressed nicely after that (she actually turned out to be a pretty "naughty" girl, lol).

The Arrangement

I gave my SB a weekly "allowance" - in person, in cash. It was about what I would pay for a 30 minute VIP (with tip), but this was usually for an entire evening, so overall a better value. Naturally I paid for everything when we went out (drinks, meals, hotel, tickets for shows, etc.). Once we started our arrangement I stopped going to the clubs, both for monetary reasons and ironically, because I didn't want to "cheat" on my SB. She was happy with our monetary arrangement, and never asked for extra money, "loans" or anything like that. I did get her gifts on special occasions, like a Kindle for Christmas, and when she broke her iPod I bought her a new one.

On Valentine's Day I sent a dozen long stemmed roses to her workplace. She texted me to thank me and was very excited. All her co-workers were envious and wondering about her secret admirer. Her friends, family and co-workers knew she was seeing someone, but obviously she couldn't tell them who I was or what kind of arrangement we had. I enjoyed being her mystery lover and the subject of endless speculation.

For her Birthday I took her to a five star restaurant and got their special birthday package where they made a big fuss over her. They had a special menu printed up with her name on it wishing her happy birthday, and she got an engraved wine glass to take home. They took a picture of us at the table and at the end of the evening brought us two framed prints. Needless to say, I didn't get to display mine anywhere.

I also took her clothes shopping occasionally, and she would model the clothes for me as she tried them on. It was fun to see here try on a pair of short shorts or a mini-skirt. It reminded me of the scene from "The New Guy" where he takes Eliza Dushku's character shopping. Even then she was never extravagant, I would spend a couple hundred at most, usually less.

Arm Candy & PDA

It wasn't all just furtive meetings in a hotel, either. We did the usual dinner and a movie routine, but we also did a lot of other fun "couple" stuff - we went to the zoo (pandas!), wine tastings, art galleries, concerts, went to a day spa and had a "couples massage" (and not the kind with a happy ending, lol), went hiking, took days trips to wineries, amusement parks and the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, stayed at a bed 'n breakfast once, etc.

Part of the SD/SB dynamic is the ego boost a middle-aged (or older) guy gets being seen with a young hottie on his arm, and I was no exception. I loved the looks we got when we walked into some place arm in arm. We always got really good service from bartenders, waitresses and sales clerk. You could tell they were curious, wondering what our deal was. When we stayed at the B&B the owner was a woman in her 40's, still attractive herself in a MILF way. At breakfast she keep coming over to our table to check on us, and spent a lot of time chatting - I could tell she was just dying to ask the question on her mind.

As we dated, my SB became more and more affectionate, including in public. One time I was waiting for my SB to join me for lunch at this trendy bistro in Old Town. At the table across from me there were a couple WASPy stay-at-home Mom types, in their Lululemon outfits and a couple toddlers in designer strollers. When my SB came in I stood up to greet her; we hugged and then shared a long, intimate kiss on the lips. When I sat back down and looked up the two Moms were staring at us with their mouths open and a look of horror on their faces.

Another time we went to Sunday brunch at the hotel. By now we'd become one of those "same-sider" couples - you know, the kind that always get a booth and sit next to instead of across from each other so they can hold hands, whisper, feed each other bites of food, and (in my case) surreptitiously grope my SB's thigh under the table. There was an extended family at the large table across from us, looked like grandparents, couple set of parents, and several kids. I noticed this young boy, probably about twelve, dressed up in a white shirt and tie, looking in our direction with a big smile on his face, and then I realized that from where he was sitting he had a direct view of my SB's thighs, the little perv!

A Close call

You're probably thinking, "Steve, with a wife, and a "sensitive" job, wasn't it risky, reckless even, to be seen out and about in all those places with your SB?" The answer is yes and yes. But that illicit thrill was part of the whole attraction. I really think I was a little out of my mind at the time.

I never got "caught," but had a couple close calls. Once I was strolling hand in hand with my SB through the mall, and narrowly missed running into a work colleague and his wife, which would have been awkward to say the least. I had coached my SB to pretend she was my "niece" if something like that ever happened. Of course, that wouldn't have worked with the other close call.

I was meeting my SB at a bar in Old Town. She had texted me that she was already there and waiting. I had to park down the street and as I was walking towards the bar I saw my son and his girlfriend leaving the same bar. I doubled back so they wouldn't see me, then went into the bar when the coast was clear. Another few minutes either way, and I would have been on an inadvertent double date!

Ending things

Definitely seems like there's a shelf life for these kind of arrangements, nothing in particular, just that feeling you get when you've seen the same fav for a little too long. For well over a year we saw each other once or twice a week. We texted back and forth almost every day. It got to be a little overwhelming towards the end, and I actually felt relieved when she indicated she wanted to call it quits. We met one final time, and she gave me a card with a farewell note - thanking me for getting her over a rough spot, the fun times we spent together, and all the new experiences she otherwise would not have had - and that was that.

All in all, having a SB was a fun and unique experience and I have no real regrets. That said, I'm happy (for now) to go back to the clubs, and just get dances and whatever hanky-panky I can get away with in the VIP.

"Got the money, got the moves,
Got the looks and the breaks,
Got the shirt, got the shoes,
Got what it takes

Sugar, sugar daddy"

--"Sugar Daddy"
Tom Jones






43 comments

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avatar for Clackport
Clackport
11 years ago
Good article man, it sounds like you had a good time.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
In the words of Jeff Spicoli – “Awesome! – Totally Awesome!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqqGFoASs…


Def one of the best articles I’ve read – great job!!!
avatar for sofaking87
sofaking87
11 years ago
I'm going to ask the question no one else has, but wants too. Did she put out during this year of "dating"?
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
11 years ago
This sounds like a good sugar baby experience. But I don't know that I would like it. This girl seems like a girlfriend with education and manners. What I like is a stripper who is slutty and dumb.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
I must say, great article. I'm glad that you two made the best of it. I agree that all good things must come to an end.
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
steve229, I now understand your tuscl absence.

Was this girl really worth abandoning your tuscl buddies for all those long months?

Sheesh.....!
avatar for looneylarry
looneylarry
11 years ago
Steve, sounds like a good time. You guys were able to navigate it under your own terms. Sounds like you did it by the Boy Scout motto: leave things better than they way you found them. Good story. But even in large metro areas, it is amazing the close calls there are. It pays to be vigilant. If you keep things completely random, then you are only subject to the odds of the world: able the same odds as getting hit by lightning, attacked by a shark, swept away by an avalanche, etc. She sounds like a good girl, and all good things must come to an end. Glad that you had a relatively lengthy and positive experience. With these type of girls, you don't have the same high-stakes drama as the baby-daddy and the three kids by different fathers and the anger issues and controlled substances. Well played.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
11 years ago
“… What I like is a stripper who is slutty and dumb …”


I admire your honesty jack – try posting that on SW :)
avatar for likes2look
likes2look
11 years ago
But Steve, would she model a cheerleader costume for you?
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
11 years ago
My math could be way off but it sounds like you were dropping about 3k on her per month. Pricey but maybe worth it.

Did she not nickel-and-dime you to death because of rules you set at the beginning or did she just know better?

I've had little luck setting up lasting SD/SB arrangements with dancers. Part of the blame is my lack of courage to be candid on expectations and part of the blame is the dancers lack of understanding how to make it a sustainable win/win for both of us.
avatar for HungryGiraffe
HungryGiraffe
11 years ago
Nice article!
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
@sofaking - I thought I covered that, but guess I was too subtle. The answer to your question is yes - that's the part she was conflicted about at the beginning.

@jackslash - lol. Guess I just have a thing for the brainy ones

@farmerart - hey, it's nice to be back

@likes2look - That's my one regret :(

@Lone_Wolf - On their profiles SBs select what level of monthly support they expect: $1-3K, $3-5K, $5-$10K, $10+K. Most girls check the $1-3K per month range. My SB would have been right in the middle of that range, higher I guess if you included meals, gifts etc. Yes, setting expectations and ground rules in the beginning was key I think.
avatar for mjx01
mjx01
11 years ago
^^ and that's why I can't afford a SB... an extra 2k of disposable income just doesn't exist for me
avatar for Corvus
Corvus
11 years ago
Great article, thanks for sharing. I've toyed with the SD/SB thing for a while but haven't quite made it work yet. I did have a sweet young college coed dancer interested once who actually thought I was going to pay for her time without getting to play with her in private! Told her I had enough companions already.

I think for the most part strippers are not optimum SB material. But you never know. Your SB sounds like just the type to make it work.

avatar for sonic_r6
sonic_r6
11 years ago
Thanks for sharing.

Could you share some stories about the other girls that didn't work out; or just some of the not good experiences you had?

avatar for steve3000
steve3000
11 years ago
Very good article. I imagine that things work out best when both the SD and the SB both desire a similar level of discretion. My question - How did you manage to meet so often and regularly without spousal detection? Workday trysts? Wife busy with work or activities?
avatar for GoVikings
GoVikings
11 years ago
^ Yeah, I was curious about that as well.

Great article steve, so glad you're back, after such a long period of inactivity on TUSCL, I thought you were gone for good.

Glad I was wrong. :)
avatar for Greyfox
Greyfox
11 years ago
Such a good article, thank you for sharing this!
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
11 years ago
That arrangement is actually better and cheaper than a wife or SO. No strings and companionship when you want it and not when you do not. She does not have access to your life or bank accounts. Sounds perfect, She gets what she wants and you get what you want and everyone walks away satisfied.
avatar for sonic_r6
sonic_r6
11 years ago
So I am working on my seekingarrangement account now;

I am truly single; would there be an advantage for me to state that I am married?

avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago

@sonic - a fair number of SBs put something in their profiles about "no married men" so being (truly) single will give you more options

avatar for magicrat
magicrat
11 years ago
I have had these arrangements in the past, and they can be quite enjoyable. One actually moved from a SB/SD arrangement to a real affair/relationship with no $ changing hands. I have never really done the weekly/monthly allowance thing...always pay as you go for me, and it was very affordable.
avatar for mjx01
mjx01
11 years ago
exactly what tiredtravler said
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
11 years ago
Nice write up.

I have also had a few SM/SB setups in the past and I've started a new one recently. We'll see how it goes.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
11 years ago
Enjoyed the article, but at 31 I felt like a total loser when I had a pretty 21 year old girlfriend so I could never consider this at all; never mind the fact that from strip clubbing to vegas to golf to skiing I have never found anyone more fun to hang out with than my wife.
avatar for sonic_r6
sonic_r6
11 years ago
@skibum: Can you clarify why you would feel like a total looser? Is it just me, or is 31 and 21 not that much big of an age difference?


I got my first reply on seekingarrangments; it seem legit too and she is pretty hot. But who knows.

ANY ADVICE OUT THERE? On closing the deal, communicating on these sites; anything... Thanks.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
@ Sonic - - congrats. As far as communicating, it's all about putting your potential SB at ease. Being too aggressive right off the bat and pushing for a meet can scare her off. Better to play it cool and exchange a few emails back & forth, let her get comfortable with you, maybe even wait and let her be the one that suggests you meet in person. Have a place in mind, tho, because she will expect you to take the lead from that point. A chain restaurant in or near a mall is a good choice - it's a public place, easy to find, parking's free, and if things don't work out, you can do some shopping. Meet at the bar for drinks. That way you're just out the cost of a drink if it's a bust. On the other hand, if you click, offer to buy her dinner and go from there. Good luck on your search!
avatar for jestrite50
jestrite50
11 years ago
I loved your article. I have never joined one of the websites but have picked out a few young strippers at clubs who were "stripping their way through college" all in the 21 -22 yr old range over the past 5-10 yes and have turned them into SB's. Have had many great times with them and had a couple going at one time. I now still have just one going and am moving it. I give her/send her about $300 a month for whatever I want when we get together. We call/text all the time. She lives about 3 hours away. When I'm in her town we go shopping / dinner etc then do an all nigbter at my hotel. Loving the experience.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
@steve229: Nice writeup. Glad you got out of it unscathed.

Though I too am curious as to your "security" arrangements that allowed you to get away with such public activity unnoticed. I avoided public appearances; both of us had reasons for that.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
GMD - I didn't really have much in the way of "security" arrangements. As Steve3000 surmised, my spouse has a career and her own professional & social circles. I had a good idea of places & events to avoid. Otherwise, just dumb luck. I would definitely urge more discretion for someone trying this out.
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
11 years ago
@steve229,

I just read your article a second time, thinking a bit more deeply about it this second time.

First time through, I salivated over the thought of all that hot sex with with the lovely sugar baby and I envied you with all the carnal desire my horny old mind could create.

Second time through, I realized that there was much more than just sex for you in this relationship (if I am to believe the words that you wrote). Your words describe pride that you felt being in the company of your sugar baby. Your words describe the fleeting joy you experienced when you were in her company. Your words just glow with the ego burst you felt when you were with her. Being the avuncular mentor to a young woman was a role you loved playing.

The time and emotions that you invested in this relationship suggest that there was more than just hot sex in the deal for you. How did you survive the ending of the relationship? Your psyche is in good shape? No residual regrets or longings for what you once had with this girl?

Or.......are you just a callow horndog like ol' farmerart?
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
Art - you are as perceptive as ever. Yes, it's the silly little things we did together that I miss most - miniature golf, paddleboats at the Tidal Basin, the night we got caught in the rain in Georgetown, the time she put her head on my shoulder at the movies and fell asleep as I held her.

And yes, I enjoyed my "mentor" role. When we first got together she was very dissatisified with her job. It was a case where she was doing almost all of her boss' work, who then took all the credit. I encouraged her to look at other opportunities, both inside and outside her company, even going so far as to take her shopping and help her pick out a new "interview" outfit. When she got hired by a new company, with a significant promotion and salary increase, I felt just like a proud (sugar) daddy. Of course, that and the other assistance I'd given her meant she didn't need me as much, so I kinda worked myself out of my SD role.

As for me, I think I was infatuated more so with the whole notion of having a sugar baby, and like all infatuations, it played itself out. Still, it was a fun experience, and well worth the cost...

...just as long as she doesn't show up on my doorstep with Steve Jr., lol
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
11 years ago
Great story! Sounds like you found a great one! Glad you had a good time
avatar for 59
59
11 years ago
Was this an exclusive arrangement on the SB's part? Do the SB's generally do that or will they sometimes have 2-3 arrangements?

I don't think I'd be "monogamous" enough. I'd rather have a less frequent thing, more along the lines of what Lopaw described. Couple of dates per month with some flexibility on my part as to when, as long as the SB was reliable and not flaky.

I'd miss my ITC experiences too much I think to give them up completely and wouldn't be concerned about "cheating" on the SB as I'm sure she would be "cheating" on me, with another arrangement or in her personal life.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
@59 - Good observation. Exclusivity was a BIG part of the SB attraction for me. I suspect that dancers are more likely to regard SD's as just another income stream, and have 2-3. That's why I went with a "civilian" girl.

My SB made it clear up front she only wanted one SD, so our expectations matched. Of course, that implied a higher level of support on my part - exclusivity has a price tag apparently, lol

I can't be 100% certain that she didn't have someone in her personal life, but just based on the amount of time we spent together and how much I knew about her life it seems very doubtful.

avatar for snowtime
snowtime
11 years ago
Great article. Thanks for sharing it with us. Based on all the comments, everyone else enjoyed it (and envyed you).
Just curious. Since it went so well for you, are you considering trying another? Or was it, one and done, and back to the strip club scene? It sounds like your experience was so perfect, I think it would be tough to find a SD/SB relationship to top that.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
@snowtime - Yeah, I think I'm done, don't want to push my luck. Back to the clubs, & planning to keep everything ITC.

Funny thing tho, this week my CF (out of the blue) suggested we get together this weekend to have "lunch, or dinner or see a movie." Maybe I'm putting out a residual sugar daddy vibe, lol
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
@steve229: "Yeah, I think I'm done, don't want to push my luck."

It's mighty tempting though, isn't it? There are certain aspects that just can't be matched by the hit and run ITC, or even OTC encounter. That's not to say that either one is precisely *better* than the other, but there's an undeniable attraction.

So far, I've resisted the temptation to repeat as well.
avatar for ButterMan
ButterMan
11 years ago
Good article man. I have checked out seeking arrangement myself but have yet to to post a profile. it sounds like your arrangement was fairly cost efficient. I wonder if this is actually cheaper than having this type of arrangement with a stripper. because the strippers at a high end probably have a higher income than these college girls.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
@tikDo - that's how I felt - strippers are too used to the easy money. A girl working her way through college, or a recent grad is different. You should have seen the way my SB's eyes lit up the first time I slipped her some crisp Benjamin's, obvious it was a new experience for her. For a stripper, it would be old hat.
avatar for brad123xyzzz
brad123xyzzz
11 years ago
That's the great thing with a younger girl looking for money. I run ads in Craigslist for SB and usually get a lot of responses. I will take them someplace nice for dinner "to see if it will work between us long term" , back to my house for drinks and a jacuzzi, then hot sex all night and 100 bucks in the morning.

They usually call after and say lets go shopping, help me pay my rent, I need to make a car payment but I just ignore them. This way i get a cute hot girl 25 years younger than me all night for 100 buck and dinner. About half the time they come back again and again and are happy with 100, half expect a lot more and I ignore them.
avatar for Tech9
Tech9
11 years ago
Very nice article man indeed it looks like you had yourself a great time, now that I've read this article there was a guy who wrote one on 3rd world country girls. I can't remember where I have read it it was on an spanish website but he had a similar story to yours, he had adopted a Venezuelan girl and dam I mean she was really fine!!! she said that she brought her from over there and that she had been staying with him for some years now. Now I don't know if this is true but my brother has a friend who went to Russia and brought back a girl with him I've heard she marry him and they both lived together but dam is this really real do any of you guys know what I'm talking about?
avatar for sonic_r6
sonic_r6
11 years ago
After 2 months on the site I finally hit gold so-to-speak. $70 for dinner and bbbj and fs.

She is younger indeed and not as mature; but for $70 ... all I can say is wow.

Soon I will post my own article about my experiences (FAKE pics for my first meeting lol).

Don't give up in your search is my take home message.
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