Strippers. "Is she into me, or just playing me?"

I've seen this topic come up in some form many times in my relatively short time here, and all I can say is, probably the latter, though who really knows besides the woman involved? But let me tell you about a friend of mine who's been seeing strippers for a lot of years. It started like any of his other flings, with a couple of drinks or dances at the club, an encounter or two in the VIP, and a proposition for more time, and money, somewhere else. Like so many others, she was reluctant, and said "no" and "I don't do that" at first, only to "give in" and agree after he appeared to start losing interest. At the time she finally agreed to an OTC session, he was regularly seeing another dancer a couple times a month, and irregularly seeing three or four more, along with a couple of quickies a month at various clubs. At least three or four times per month, he was getting his freak on somewhere. But unlike most of the others, this new girl was enthusiastic; she convincingly appeared to enjoy it as much as he did. As usually happens in this type of "relationship", his other paramours eventually dropped out of his acquaintance, whether by his choice or hers. After all, nothing last forever, right? But a curious thing happened. As the others disappeared, rather than soliciting replacements from clubs, this new girl picked up the slack, until he was meeting her just about every week. Before long, she was the *only* one he was seeing outside the club, and even his club visits didn't often include VIP trips; the most he was getting there was an occasional blow job. And he was still enjoying it, with none of the boredom that was the reason most of the others had been left behind. He'd even stayed at her home, after dropping her off post session, a couple of times to eat lunch and chat. And then one day something happened. Something surprising, and shocking to him. She expressed, rather publicly and loudly, a level of affection for him that he hadn't previously noticed. As occupied as he'd been with the sex, which he claims was some of the best he'd ever had, he'd not consciously noticed a bunch of little indicators that, in retrospect, were glaringly obvious. How she'd stay longer, and not be in such a rush to leave when they were done. How the money wasn't the first thing on her mind when the deed was done. How she'd cuddle for a few minutes before and after. How she'd surprise him with little experiments in sex. How she changed her makeup and hair based on comments he made. How she would *always* answer his calls and texts within a few minutes, if only to say she couldn't talk and that she'd call back later. And how she'd *always* follow up on those. He was conflicted. On the one hand, he was worried that she was playing a really long game on him. They'd both maintained for quite some time that this was a business relationship, and they both liked it that way. He didn't want a girlfriend, and she didn't want a boyfriend. On the other hand, if she was acting, she was *very* convincing. And the sex was still really good. So he did what any red-blooded American male would do in that situation. He left a good thing alone, and did nothing. He kept seeing her, didn't stop paying her, didn't try to push any boundaries, just enjoyed the intimacy, and thanked his lucky stars. But... Then another thing happened. After a few months, she started "seeing" a guy that lived near her. No sex, but hanging out in the apartment common area and eating at each other's house. It gradually became more serious, they started having sex, and in little less than a year, they'd moved in together. My friend was still seeing her, and paying her, even if not as often. And that "not as often" was starting to make him realize that this girl was different. He realized that he missed her. Not just the sex, but *her*. Not just the slippery friction of membranes, but the laughter. Not just the hot, tender, young body next to his, but the intimacy of a woman he *really* liked. And then came that fateful day you can all see coming from a mile away. It was just like any other recent session, cheap hotel room, a little food, some conversation, some playing around, some sex, some more playing, some more sex, and finally, relaxing in each other's arms. That's when she sprung on him that her boyfriend has asked her to marry him, and that she was considering saying yes. Outwardly, he was congratulating her. Inwardly, he wasn't processing very well at all. He heard himself asking her what it meant for them. She told him that for now, it was the same, but she'd have to be even more careful about keeping him from finding out. But it wasn't more than a few weeks later that it wasn't at all the same any more. She came into the room and told him that this time would be the last. She'd said yes, and they were moving out west to be closer to her parents. He said he cried at the news, and she did too. Their lovemaking (and that's what he called it this time, not "sex", not "fucking") was tender and passionate, and lasted most of the night. When she left very late that night, much later than usual, he broke down. He said he stayed the rest of the night in the hotel because he didn't want his family to see him that way. He couldn't have explained it. And that was the end of it. They apparently still talk once or twice a month. He said he bought her a wedding gift, and Christmas gifts for her and her kids. He doesn't let her talk about coming back for a visit, like she claims to want to do, because he doesn't want to hope. As he was telling me this, about three months after it happened, tears came to his eyes even then, and it was obvious that he'd fallen hard for her, and that it wasn't just another fuck toy disappearing. He was truly hurting still. We only spent about a half hour in the club, and then he left, without even talking to any of the girls there. When I asked, they told me he'd come in a couple of times, and just sat at the bar, not even getting drinks, much less lap dances or VIPs. It's been probably six months now since she left, and I've seen him in that club, and a couple of others, now and again. He seems to be pulling out of it, but there's a new girl that just started at "her" club that looks more than a little like his girl. I was there one day when he came in, saw her on stage and froze. Then he just turned and walked out. He hasn't been back there since, according to the girls, but I've seen him at other clubs. It's really kind of pathetic to watch, but I wish him the best. So what's the lesson here? Well, maybe there isn't one. Or maybe it's that one shouldn't be so cynical about motivations, and value what one has instead of taking it for granted, or assuming it's a con of some kind. Or maybe it's just that no matter which one it is, love or con, it's gonna hurt at some point.