Was it Really Love? A Follow Up
So I'm sure a lot of you are wondering why I would ever set foot in a strip club if I have that kind of love in my life. I'm a part time cattle rancher, so I spend a lot of time on a tractor baling hay. Sitting on a tractor all day gives you a lot of time to think, and I've been thinking about that very question a lot lately. Here's my conclusion. We all have sins and vices in our lives that have the potential to hurt ourselves and our loved ones. Some of you smoke, which can take years off your life and take you away from your family earlier than if you hadn't ever lit up. Some drink, which can cause you to do many stupid things to hurt yourself and your family. I'm sure there are drug users reading this, and that carries many risks. How many of you ride a Harley down the highway? I just had a coworker killed on one of those, devastating his wife and kids. Do you eat fries instead of salad? You are clogging your arteries. My point is that we all do things that we know we shouldn't do because they have the potential to hurt us or our loved ones. But we take that risk because we believe the pleasure we receive from the activity is worth the risk. That's part of being an adult and living your life your way. I know visiting strip clubs has the potential to hurt me and my family, especially after the ordeal with that one dancer in my last article who rocked my world for a few weeks before I got my head back on straight. It is a risk I am willing to take.
Writing the first article was great therapy for me in my journey to figuring out what was going on inside my head and my heart. Your comments were very much appreciated and very on the mark. One dancer asked why do we men fall in love after only one night. Yet another great question to ponder while baling hay. For me it has all the classic signs of the middle age crisis. I'm 42 years old, about 25 pounds overweight and balding on top. I know I'm just not a very attractive guy anymore, despite the fact that I bathe, shave and wear nice clothes when I'm not doing farm work. I think many men like me know they have no chance with a hot young thing, but when they get all that attention in the club, it just messes with their head. In my case, I knew that I was paying some gorgeous, hard bodied young women to grind on my crotch and let me grope their sexy curves. But when my VIP session with that one dancer went way past grinding and groping, my brain told me I still had "it". This girl was actually hot for me. Even with my age, weight and lack of hair, this little siren wanted me. That is a feeling that many of us want, and it is what keeps us going back to the clubs, especially when we find that one little hottie that convinces us that she has the hots for us. Our brains blur the line between fantasy and reality because deep down we want it to be true. And that just fucks you all up inside!
I'll end by continuing the story from my original article. Despite all the great TUSCL advice, I did go back to that club last week. She was back. She said she had to take a few weeks off of work because of family problems. She didn't really talk to me much before letting me know how bad she wanted to get me back into the VIP. Well hell yea, I went back in there with her! This time for a whole hour. And it was even hotter than before! Lots of DFK, which drives me crazy, and this time she let me rub her clit until she came. When it was over, my head was spinning and I was exhausted. I actually felt like I had been having sex for an hour, although my dick never left my pants. She left me with her email address and Facebook page, so that I could let her know when I was coming back. But she left out one important detail that tells everything. The first thing every dancer asks when approaching me is my name. There is no possible way she could remember my name from two months ago, and she never asked me for it or called me by it last week. The reality is that she really doesn't care what my name is. We have a smoking hot VIP session (which I honestly believe she enjoys) then I pay her. That's all she wants and that is all I should want. After all, it has absolutely nothing to do with love.
Damn, I'm glad I figured that out!
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I agree that she more than likely DOES NOT care what your name is if she hasn't asked about it. You are just a source of $$$ to her it would seem. I disagree that she could not have remembered your name after 2 months if she knew it & wanted to remember it.
"After all, it has absolutely nothing to do with love"
That's true. And those of us that have this kind of Love with a partner shouldn't screw it up potentially by fucking around with Sex workers.
but, one question "...that is all I should want" ? what's that should doing in there?
We don't. Mostly, it's just plain lust, and our society does a really piss poor job of teaching the differnence between lust and love. Human males are hard wired to like females who appear to like them. It's just the way it is.
It appears to me that it is some sort of trick to keep the desire on as you would definitely go back for more with such a girl - which I may ;)
What a cynical viewpoint. No more fear of STDs?
All the rest of this is just a lot of overthinking.
you are a good writer.
After you get tired of baling hay - writing a novel may be your call !!!
I'm glad you realized it's not love.
But the dancer's lust for you was most likely real.
She wasn't making it up to get your money.
(I'll describe this in some later posts from my own experiences)
Most girls who choose to dance for a living (or hobby) - have a sexy, romantic, swinger disposition already. They are called hotties for a reason !
Many can have multiple relationships with ease - most of us can't.
These girls also come across and deal with tons of low lifes everyday - the pervert landlord, the persistent drug-addict ex boyfriend, the fanatic stalker neighbor ... the alchoholic uncle, the jailed ex husband, the deadbeat father of her precious 2 year old. The list is endless.
In you - she sees a hard working and honest american and one with real skills. The kinda fella many women dream to spend their life with (your wife included). She needs your stability and you need her sexual naughtiness.
In traditional sense - this is an odd and unsanctioned relationship (by our societies social police).
But it's there.
Stay grounded - and have fun.
You can love your wife and family and enjoy this exotic sport.
I'll admit I came close. My wakeup call was when "she" became lax with her discretion. If there is more than a one time thing, I suspect there are at least several factors involved. In my case, the main one was a comment she made while I was giving her a ride "You can always get sex from me".
I realize we all have alternatives. For me "she" seemed like the best option at the time because she was readily available, the sex was always good, and her requests for financial or other assistance weren't excessive. However, she certainly wasn't worth the risk of losing other aspects of my life.