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IWantHerOnMe

I'd live this way again

Ah, the Cuban Stripper. Possibly the most polarizing kind of person that actually dances in the strip club. (Most polarizing non dancer staff? Bathroom attendants.) The lack of English, pretending to lack English, general lack of interest in OTC, drinking or drugs, forward but not pushy, coldness and shortness, focus on extras and various other cultural idiosyncrasies that are very cute that I don't have the worldliness to understand make them an acquired taste for some.

I basically acquired a taste for Latinas in general in high school. I got my world rocked twice by a Cuban chick when I was 16, who I think I quickly bored and got dumped by. Even though she wasn't a stripper she had the positives of Cuban dancers: girly, nice smile, fit, well groomed, cared about being fit and well groomed, lack of tats or piercings, forward but not pushy, limited inhibitions and a focus on extras. And also some cultural idiosyncrasies that were very cute that I didn't have the worldliness to understand.

And while all those things are great, Cubans have to speak English for me to spend now. Maybe I'm too fucking old to be able to operate the way I used to but I can't do it anymore if she doesn't know what horny means. I didn't think as far past go in my mid 20's swing shift days, which was the peak of my translator app use, as I do now, but it's weird to get consent from someone who might not totally understand what I'm saying.

The Main Character
Most of the stories are also about my Cuban sorta ATF. I never took her anywhere so you can't get that ATF label without OTC. I'm sure many dancers are very hung up because they didn't get that label from your boy. But anyway -

Tale Of The Tape
4'11 maybe shorter
If she was heavier than 85 pounds they weight you differently in Cuba
Never asked her age but if she was older than 25 I'd be stunned
Redbone, can't really pass for white
Jet black hair went past her ass usually in 2 pigtails but I had her take them down
Beauty mark on her right cheek
Awesome, zero irony smile
Very tiny hands
Flat chest and ass and soft skin
Looked like a clear skinned, tattoo free Jade Presley

Very cute to me. A solid 8. But those weren't the separators from the other Cubans at Diamond where we mostly did our thing. Unlike most Cubans she actually tried to hold a convo with me. And she was flirty and frank as shit. She plopped on my lap during our first meeting and when I asked her for some dances she said she wanted me to do some other very fun things. She said she wanted to unbutton my shirt and unbutton and see some very fun thing. Man, she put that spice right on me.

I enjoyed her through an app more than the dances which were Ok. I didn't take her to VIP that day and I'd never regretted not taking a stripper to VIP so much. Took her the next time I saw her and she made good use of those little hands, stared at me the whole time and asked me if I liked it. She always asked that. I spent on her for years.

I think the Spanish she spoke was of a different variety than the stuff RonJax broke down for us mongers trying to engage Mexico. Unlike most Cuban strippers who speak no English, she was trying to learn some English and felt people laughed at her when she tried. We worked on it and she got alot better. Eventually, she asked me to stop trying to speak Spanish so she could learn more English words, unless it was so bad we had no choice. She had major trouble with metaphors, hyperbole and figures of speech partly because she was very sincere and that resulted in some cute interactions. How loud the music became in Diamond ATL also didn't help the communication situation.

She actually drank, unlike most Cubans in my experience. Corona always came out after we did VIP and its funny to see an 82 pound chick not be able to wrap her whole hand around a beer bottle's body and having her lips around the bottle reminded me of other very fun places her lips wrapped around. She also had zero ability to hide how she felt in her face unlike most of the blank faced Cubans. Her face normally read happy, confused or worried in that order, and that also turned me on. Shes the only non English speaking dancer I ever did VIP with that wasn't somewhat awkward. She disappeared after Diamond closed and I haven't seen her since.

Most of these stories revolve around these cute language issues and cultural idiosyncrasies, my lack of understanding, and all the grey in between those things because I think that is the funniest, most brain teasing aspect of the situation and the best content for this specific topic. And its also a recounting that brings some nostalgia to this PL, as it is basically a chapter in my past.

5.) Cuban Chicks Love Migos? - FYI, the Migos were a rap trio from Georgia that ended when one of the members was killed at a dice game. Many of you guys may miss and dislike them in the hail of trap music blaring at many clubs, especially the now demolished Diamond Club in ATL. By the last few years of Diamond, the music was cranked like crazy and I bet the staff will pay the price for it if we don't have AI hearing aids in 40 years.

Now I don't know what's going on with this but at Diamond, where there was at least a touch of pole dancing on swing shift (5:30 pm - 8 pm) that the club made the dancers do, Migos got a crazy reaction from the Cuban strippers. Now the group did shoot a video for there song "Say Sum" with a bunch of Latinas in the video. One of the group members married Cardi B. Maybe that's why?

I'm not stunned college age girls like popular music, I'm confused because the Cubans didn't react like that to any other English speaking shit. Diamond didn't play that much popular Latin music, I think because the lack of English made it hard for the PLs to count the songs. I don't think I've ever been robbed by a Latina and I woulda been fine if they mixed some shit in the dancers actually understood to get more enthusiasm out of them.

And at least in my experience Migos did that. Migos had my fav Cubans bouncing and bobbing their heads up and down to the rhythm of their songs as soon as they rang off in VIP. Especially my Cuban ATF who definitely bobbed her head to their tunes with enthusiasm. Random and vaguely funny to me.

4.) Mamacita Learns English Pt. 1 - I stride into Diamond, duck the door vultures who never stopped trying and plopped down at the back bar. One sip of my drink and my Cuban fav is on me. Diamond wasn't pitch black dark but I was dark enough where I could overlook her short self if I wasn't careful. She learns and she knows I don't like to be bothered before I at least sit down.

What she hadn't learned was how to say my name in English which took 3 attempts this time. I also hadn't figured out she wanted her butt grabbed when I hugged her and finding that area took 2 attempts because with her hair down I had to flip through her mane to hit paydirt. Normally at Diamond, I got drinks then some dances from other strippers then closed with her, depending on when she was leaving, something she still used her fingers to explain what time she was leaving as she wasn't super comfortable with saying "o'clock" at this time. After getting my fill, I was ready to spill and 2 hours later my girl is free.

I smirked as she crept through the crowd and once she was in ear shot, I ordered another drink and said "Come on over here good looking."

Her response? To stop, peer to her left with a bemused face then start looking around.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She quickly started what seemed like a mini man hunt around my chair. She then stepped toward the bar, nearly slipped in heels that are almost as big as her damn calf and peaked her small head and big hair around the bar.

Again I inquire, "What are you doing?"

"Looking? Help?" she said and stared at me.

She was about to look under a table and I realized what was going on. The issue with figures of speech again. She couldn't have known what I was looking for anyway and I didn't want her to grab someone else's shit.

It's amazing what we take for granted. I grabbed her up, explained what I meant exactly and her eyes lit up with understanding. Mine lit up with amusement. That explanation lasted longer than I did once we got to the back. Prettiest quasi "Who's On First" routine of all time.

3.) Futbol vs Football - I stride into Platinum, a currently closed club in the ATL, glare at the door guy who didn't like (more on this in another article) and settle at the bar with another regular. I didn't know this guy much beyond us both tending to be at the bar at the same time but we made small talk all the time, usually about sports betting.

We didn't talk about dancers or what we do with dancers. I don't VIP and tell for one thing. For the record when staff brings up a dancer and that's one thing. When a regular speaks on a dancer, especially how great a girl is it screams "PIMP" to me, especially around swing shift or later. This time however, the topic of a certain dancer came up more organically.

A big assed Cuban slipped up next to us both, and both of us got dances from her regularly so she said "who first"? I don't know that pimps get dances from the girls they broke ITC so he probably wasn't that. I was waiting on someone else and so off he went. An hour of dances go by and we both end up back at the bar. He asked me if I had a good time with this dancer and I said I did before turning the talk back to college football. He chuckled.

He told me he took her out before to a GA Tech game and then starts speaking fluid Spanish. He's a black Dominican also noted there some differences in the Spanish of Cubans and Dominicans. But he says it gives him a leg up getting OTC and he says he hangs out with the strippers I just got dances from all the time. Except not at football games. Why?

He said sometimes he can forget how not American Cuban dancers are. So when he brought up going to a football game with her she just assumed what we call soccer was on the menu. And he said the damn football game was so violent in her eyes that she left the stadium in the middle of the first quarter in a horrified veil of tears and ruined the trip. Everyone including the barkeep busted out laughing. If that dude reads this site sorry I stole your story but it was funny as fuck.

2.) Mamacita Learns English Pt. 2 - I stride into Vivide, the notorious Tuscl approved club in the ATL. I didn't have much time to waste that day and made a beeline to my Cuban ATF when I saw her free. I was at Diamond a moment before and had fun but a PL I trust told me on his way into Diamond he saw her at Vivide where he had just left. I had time and wanted a sure thing so I headed on over.

As soon as we saw each other we wasted no time: she pronounced my name right the first time! I tipped and got some stuff from the bathroom man while she had her hand down my pants! I paid the DJ, slipped into the rooms right behind the DJ and let her unbutton my shirt! She took off her clothes and swung her hair around so it hit me in the face and smiled that winning smile! She stood in front of me, made fun faces and noises and shook her tiny fanny at me for a moment! Same as usual, the familiarity and fun I was looking for.

"Ok, sit your little booty down." I said and slapped my thigh.

All of a sudden, she froze, she squeezed her eyes shut like she was traumatized, erased her smile and almost wobbled like she had the flu. She stepped back toward the curtain and looked at me like I made a threat.

She blurted out something to the effect of "no folla me ass". What?

"No folla, butt, booty."

I scrambled for my phone, which I NEVER pull out in VIP, looks like your trying to film. I deduced that she thought I was trying to enter the back door. I quickly clarified that was not my style.

She shakily sat on my lap. She said guys get her to VIP and then try to do whatever they want to her. I told her again that was not my style. At all. She wouldn't look me in my face, and the cutest thing about her was how she looked me in my face the entire time when we went to VIP.

So I put my index finger on her chin, directed her face back to mine and reiterated that I was never going to do that. This is why I lay out exactly what I want in VIP before taking a dancer no matter how long I've been rocking with her. She relaxed after that and the next time I saw her she was even more comfortable with me.

1.) My First Run On The Papi 200 - I park at Platinum and notice something odd. Again I was a regular around swing shift, so people filing out the front door wasn't all that unusual but the parking lot was dead and that combined with the PLs seemingly running out the door was weird. I had half a mind to leave. Was someone hurt? Was there a fight or an incident?

I pay parking and cover, deal with security and go in. Everything seemed normal to me. Maybe the problem just left? I didn't see any bouncers actually take anyone outside. What the fuck? I sat down at the empty bar and everyone seemed nervous. I didn't know people making choices at Platinum like I did at Diamond so I didn't know exactly what to say. (Side Note: Why are all the clubs named for jewelry material being shut down in ATL? Has the cities chain been snatched?)

The guy who told me the American football story was also at the bar. I asked him what was up and he said he was about to leave. He thought there was a sting operation in the club. 3 different dancers he didn't know pretty much solicited him and he was on edge. We all know what's going on, but to be that frank that fast? Oasis, Follies and Platinum were under attack. Many people were assuming the worst, including the PLs leaving. They didn't want to get caught up.

This was the night I realized the city scene was changing. At this club, WANNADANCEPAPI stuff wasn't the norm. But I thought about it and realized this was becoming the norm across the city: dancers with no English and no tact. Less cultivating regulars and entertaining and more smash and dash. I think I was one of the first guys in that milieu to recognize what was going on. That was also the first time I started to learn about how to navigate it, in a nearly dead club with a chick I didn't know and had to talk to via Google. A chick with a nice ass, full lips, no tats and a 200 buck price tag. If you know how tons of Cuban dancers operate you know what we did.

Do I miss how the clubs in ATL were before the Cuban invasion? Yes and no. There are downsides to everything. But also my early days have the advantage of being the early days so maybe I'm not the guy to ask. Memories of your youth blind you to what you couldn't see as a youth sometimes. There I go getting nostalgic again.

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