When A Stripperlationship Becomes A Boyfriend Experience
IWantHerOnMe
I'd live this way again
You bend for your wife. A dancer has to work with that you want if she wants to be paid. Some guys seem to forget that’s what this is.
Prolonged exposure to anyone obviously means the nature of your association evolves over time. And when it comes to dealing with dancers they’ll sometimes try to shape it in away that lands them more money for less action. And in my experience the tactics tend to be a slow walk to nagging entitlement from certain dancers as if there tricks are there henpecked husband.
I keep 3 or 4 solid dancers I always get dances with at my fav club besides testing newbies. And to be fair most of them are cool with/don’t notice this. Over time though there’s always one that starts to piss me you off. And you better get on top of that before yelling ensues, bouncers get involved, bans are being enacted and the cops come running. Let’s take a deep dive into this plague of the pussy club. But first let’s define our terms.
What Is A Stripperlationship? - A Stripperlationship is the dynamic created by you with a stripper. You want to keep this relationship heathy and it’s heathy if you have fun your way.
What Is A Boyfriend Experience? - Basically the inverse of a Girlfriend Experience. You basically pay to be a dancers unappreciated, disrespected partner.
The Simp-toms Of A Bad Stripperlationship
I’m no love doctor. Otherwise I wouldn’t be running off at the mouth with you fantastic pervs on a strip club website. However, I am qualified to diagnose and treat your situation with a stripper that could damage your wholistic fun in a titty bar. My wellness center is currently accepting any click on the publish button as acceptable coverage for this fun creating care.
Using the latest in PL technology, I can tell you what stage your clingy stripper situation is in, Stage 1-4.
Stage 1 is annoying and probably common.
Stage 2 is also annoying and less common.
Stage 3 is a clear violation.
Stage 4 is a straight up calamity. There is no Stage 5.
Randomly Venting About Everything (Stage 1) - I assume being a dancer can be rough. I get life can be rougher. With that being said, I kind of came in to the club to chill out and not to be bombed with a dancers real or imagined issues. There’s also a tendency to trash other customers. Again it’s typical for dancers to act like they see you as different that other patrons but this can go up to straight up telling me some of there other customers business.
I’ve had dancers dump there issues on me, sometimes before even dancing (which rises to stage 2 but we’ll get there). That’s kind of crossing a line from PL to something closer to a therapist or even more accurate someone your dating. There are a minority of strippers who use there top tricks to replace a husband like some PLs use there ATF to replace a wife.
She Breaks Basic Rules (Stage 1) - Suddenly she needs to hug you when your getting a dance from someone else. She sits at the bar instead of approaching you if she’s ready for dances and when she finally makes her self available asks why you didn’t say hello. She decides to stay on the phone, roll a blunt or drink too much while giving you a dance. And she’s never done this before. She’s gotten too comfortable at that point.
Hangs Around You ITC For Free AKA Cockblocking (Stage 2) - I’m not talking about small talk pre dance. I’m talking about nagging you post dance about how long you’ll be around, who your seeing next, if you’ll see her again and other things that just aren’t relevant to you.
This is almost always about her trying to create the appearance of her being tied up and cut you off from other dancers. I’m for strippers using the 1 drink rule, if it’s not going anywhere after one drink don’t waste time on that dude. So I really don’t need the invasive questions post dance. You don’t want to talk really you want to hold me back. Hey, you wanna talk DM me later. ITC though it’s not slick and it’s not cute.
Some of these dancers also do a OTC thing via text or social media. Only 2 dancers have my number but I’ve got a bunch of IG pages. And some of them use it not to let me know there are in the club but to try to control my schedule, like we’re setting up a date. That is probably the most annoying thing a dancer can do.
She Gets Personal And Mentions Relationships (Stage 2) - This could
go with venting but it’s worse because it’s a fantasy breaker. I’ve actually had some horrible stories of a dancers OTC issue hitting the lap of a PL inadvertently, especially via social media, that’s not what I mean. And it’s not one or other but the combo that can be the issue in my experience. A lot dancers tell various personal stories geared toward getting sympathy and #IHaveBoyfriend is a decent brand of stalker repellant.
But the combo seems like a invite to other stuff, especially when it’s brought up OTC. That kinda shit won’t make us closer my freaky dancer. It gets me thinking your forgetting our arrangement. It’s like hearing a celebrity political opinion. Of course these are people with thoughts, but I come to you for something else. Keep stuff other than what made you to yourself.
Talks Trash About Other Strippers And Club Staff/Says You Shouldn’t Spend On Them (Stage 3) - I separate this from venting because it’s can be her trying to tell you what to do and how to operate ITC and OTC, which is far worse. It’s often, but not always, a reflection of a petty drama, jealousy, or more often just her wanting you to spend all your dancer money on her.
When I go into a club I already know how many songs and how big my tips will be for my favs if they are there and do a good job, I know before I buy her one and only one drink. I’m not breaking that for anyone no matter how much a dancer rides me. And that behavior is actually going to cause me to ghost you like a nagging chick I matched with on Tinder.
Some strippers will also act like they’re resentments are yours too which in turn will get your bucks directed there way, like when a dancer says I don’t need to tip the bouncers because they make 25 an hour. Well so what. Woman, you make 5-50 dollars PER SONG. What someone else eats don’t make me shit. Or you shit. And the stuff they claim to know about these other dancers and staff frequently (not always) shows a lack of self awareness and an odious hypocrisy.
I completely get wanting to know where what you lay with has laid with, if we were getting engaged. But I don’t want to have to think about dancers on those grounds. I don’t care if your self aware or not. I don’t won’t be put in that position. Save the drama for a reality show.
It’s Suddenly Never Enough (Stage 4) - You really learn about someone the first time you tell them no of course. I don’t necessarily think I build equity with dancers but I do think I build a rep. You should know how I usually am even if I had to leave earlier than usual once or denied you a drink because your slurring your words. It’s not like one denial should shut a good dancer down, might get a slight down tick in quality but that’s it.
But some dancers will change on you and I can’t have that. It’s like when your ex was totally down to make you happy when you first take her out and 6 months of dating pass and you realize she hasn’t been sweet in the last 4 months, she suddenly swears you don’t know how to love her. In this case it ain’t cheaper to keep her.
She Starts To Pack It In (Stage 4) - But even worse, it can get to a point where nothing is going to get a good job out of her. Mileage crashes and it’s always her time of the month. The tip I always throw in gets a grumble all of a sudden. Instead of a shot you need a bottle. We need to go to VIP or nothing, a 5 star restaurant after the OTC or nothing. Ok then, let’s do nothing then.
She Wants To Dictate Terms (Stage 4) - With the best dancers mileage and extras grow with every stop in or trip out. With these kinds of dancers be they start acting like you come to them. This can seem redundant but I separated it because it’s more combative, like arguing with your wife.
It’s a massive issue when a dancer starts talking about what she wants out of your dance sessions, VIPs or OTCs. Not what she likes or will accept, that’s all basic communication and totally fair game. If she’s not down for what I want that’s why you talk to her. I know I don’t need to deal with that dancer.
But don’t change on me later and expect us to continue. Don’t say what you won’t do OTC, what restaurant you want to hit and what concert you want to attend. Why would I pay you to take you where YOU want to go? I mean basically………
She Wants To Argue (Stage 4) - ……..stay fun for me if you want my cash. Again dancers are humans with thoughts and feelings. Some guys on here need to learn that. But there are dancers that need to know your supposed to be fake fun. My jokes are funny. I am handsome, my opinions are facts and my decisions are correct.
If you start trying to criticize me and go back and forth about how our stripperlationship is going it’s no longer a stripperlationship. We’re friends or lovers. Or I’m your pay pig worshiping the air you breathe. I’m sorry, but that’s not our situation. Never will be.
What Could Cause A Bad Stripperlationship
You need to know the causes to get the cure. Stage 1-4 common behaviors that are the causes.
Stage 1 is stuff that is a non negotiable you should never change even if dancer takes it the wrong way. Shit the point of this article is to break down ways strippers may try to get you to change and why you should ignore that if you aren’t doing anything wrong. Stage 1 is also for something you can’t control about a stripper.
Stage 2 is probably also heathy but I get if you hide this side of you especially ITC.
Stage 3 is a bad mindset from a PL or dancer that ruins the stripperlationship.
Stage 4 is a PL or dancer behavior that’s a straight up calamity.
Basic Decency (Stage 1) - I get a sad amount of comments about smelling good and being nice. In a club that isn’t around now I tried to tip a dancer and basically pleaded with me to just take 3 more dances because didn’t want to deal with anyone one else in the club. Just talking before I try to stick my painus in her anus and suddenly she’s ready to detail your car. Or assume your a pushover and start paying games. It’s like how some women can’t function with a normal man, that her weird immediately. Watch out for this. As a matter off fact………
Your “Too Nice” (Stage 1)- I don’t want anyone to pull me out of character, especially in the club where I come to duck stress. It defeats point. So I’m still my best c chill and well mannered behavior ITC. Some dancers immediately see that and say I can break him and use him. Shut that down.
She Likes You (Stage 1) - Highly unlikely but it’s never a zero percent chance. I mean there’s not a zero percent chance I’m Gucci Mane. Or Bill Gates. Or the kinda guy a stripper might genuinely like.
But hey if you really are Gucci Mane La Gates then yeah of course she’s aggy her crush is digging some other woman and wants you to care show she really feels. Plus a lot of women withhold affection from dudes they are actually into for some reason. Don’t let a dancer basically do the same thing.
You Talk Too Much (Stage 2) - Many women take a lack of social awkwardness or a general ability to talk small as a sign you are interested in something you are not. Especially women who deal with weird guys in the club all the time.
Me asking how your day was and actually listening didn’t mean I think were friends now and you can treat me like the guy you date but only let hit once a month.
She Thinks Your Holding Out On Her (Stage 2) - Again I have my dancer budget, and some strippers take that as some sort of provocation or withholding. Or sort of act like that’s what they think to guilt and bait you. Dancers aren’t a wife that het to act like you aren’t doing enough for them you don’t owe a stripper anything.
I’m also not trying to “punish” strippers for there boundaries. Point of order, if I bring up something with a dancer and she says no, I’ll never bring it back up. If she brings it up later I’ll say no. In normal life a chick who says no once might be trying not to look like a whore. In the club that’s borderline predatory. And if she goes back on her no that’s often a bad sign. I’m not trying to take advantage of anyone by pushing them too far.
But dancers who do more will often make more. Im not withholding things from dancers who don’t do extras with me, extras means extra money! Come on now! Yeah I took so and so to the game, because the nightcap was fun. If a dancer doesn’t do that what are we dating? That’s looney. I’ve said to much on all this is already. I’m not justifying what I’m spending on anything to a dancer.
You Give In To Her Bullcrap (Stage 3) - If your a loser that’s all your fault. She keeps doing it because you allow it. If it works for you fine. It’s like dudes that seem happy married to unpleasant Karens. I’m stunned but it’s not my life to live.
You Get Cheap (Stage 4) - Counted cash is what counts with dancers. If you can’t meet the price she always quoted you, you expect her to spend hours with you because you bought her a drink but didn’t tip her stage or buy a dance or get invasive and strange hey man you blew it.
You Catch Feelings (Stage 4) - Man your in the wrong place. Trust me leave a tender moment alone. Leave it in the VIP. It’s just a dancer who knows what she’s doing. At best she’ll let you down easy. At worse she’ll wreck your bank account and laugh at you.
At best your a horny and emotionally under developed moron. At worse your dangerous. Don’t be a fool. If you want real speed date. Or be dumb and volunteer for what’s going to be an abusive relationship.
You Show No Respect (Stage 4) - If your mean, unclean or just unpleasant it’s going to go left no much money you spend. Again, there’s no shortage of PLs. She doesn’t have to deal with a guy who coldly treats her like a set of pleasure holes. Don’t play mind games or nag or do anything else you wouldn’t like or she’ll flip on you and she should honestly.
You Cross A Boundary (Stage 4) - If you do this once you get what you deserve. I don’t care if she’s an air dance GSP sourpuss, just leave her alone if you don’t like her limits. There are a minority of guys on this website that seem like a walking sexual assault and if you violate a stripper or any woman I hope someone cuts your dick off.
Some Dancers Have To Be Controlling At All Times (Stage 4) - Its one thing if dancers do this in there personal lives but know to turn it off ITC. But the closer they feel they get to a PL they just can’t hold back there true selves.
Some Club People Are Delusional (Stage 4) - Some of everyone in strip clubs are not dealing with the real world. There are some dancers who sincerely think I do what she wants. Some PLs really think she’s your property or a desperate whore who’ll beg you for a buck. People tell themselves whatever. They are crazy, to be avoided and a walking problem. It’s a red flag if there ever was one.
You Just Sick Of Each Other (Stage 1) - I’m making this last because kinda counter intuitive even if it doesn’t rise to that high a stage. Like the friend zone your in and can’t stand it anymore so you just cut the whole thing, most dancers do not want us. What they want is money. And we don’t often or always want a dancer, we can get bored really quickly at times.
And at that point instead of admitting your no longer into her you start asking The Dumb Questions (“Do you want to date me? How long are you going to do this? Did you know you look like my daughter?”) that will make it clear you’ll never have her ask you for dances again.
When she just can’t stand to have you touch her again, she annoys you enough to where you’ll never be in her face. If she just sits at the bars when you come in, maybe she’s just done. Sometimes it’s easier to weasel around than to just say, I’m no longer able to do this for you or with you. It can save time or even a conflict. It’s best for everyone to take the hint.
These fake things tend to end. You’d be stunned how fast you can go from a years long ATF to seeing her ITC and acting like you don’t know her. It’s probably better than a divorce though.
The Cure
Now it’s time for treatment. I would say I’d vaccinate you people, but that’s kinda controversial these days. I don’t have categories for this because this should be basic self care and really the dancer is the one who’s has the hard pill to swallow.
Communicate - This topic will never stop coming up. Words still work. Bad communication is the primary thing that causes guys to make errors in the strip club.
Communication is why you should warm up to her before you go VIP or OTC. Talk through what can and can’t happen. And when these annoying behaviors arise gently bring that up too.
First off all misinterpretation mess up a good thing. You can mix up a important comment as an attempt to start you on the stages. She’s may not be whining: the dancer she doesn’t like might actually have a pimp, the PL might’ve just had to leave early one day, it’s not all playing games. Granted your best source of info is common sense and experience but still.
But sometimes you don’t want to give up fav. And might be worth a quick convo addressing what is annoying you and possibly nip it in the bud. The earlier a stage you catch it the better it will go in my experience. I know most of us don’t need to be told how to talk to strippers and strippers know to hold boundaries. But sometimes even the most seasoned people can let the basics slip there minds.
Fine Her and Deny Him - I tend to skip this these days because it’s too close to playing a game. But sometimes cutting down the number of dances, drink purchase or stage tips and declining VIP/OTC can make a dancer or PL realize there about to lose a good thing.
If your in a Boyfriend Experience, the dancer/PL will almost certainly ask why you changed and that’s a good time to tell them why. Especially if you’ve already said this once before. I’d recommend this if your at Stage 1-3. At 4, it’s over.
Cut ‘Em Off - And not to grow closer. You can go the easy way or hard way. Easy for a dancer is to ignore him. Hard way is ROB him
if you can get away with it. And depending on what he did you can really wreck him.
Easy for a PL is to just say you don’t have any money. Hard is to ignore her or even tell a manager she’s annoying you. Dancers hate when PLs says “go get your money” but that’s a better convo ender/snap back to reality than a thumbs up on a text message.
The big irony is it tends to be the ones who act the most unbothered and boss chick and who swear they don’t care who end up this way need control or the illusion of control. It’s tends to be the fake players who tend to end up this way to like the illusion of intimacy just warps there world.
Some dancers and PLs obsessed with getting over on each other. It’s all pathetic. Wise people in the club don’t get caught up in this. Not all dancers fuck up good things. Be smart enough to be on the smart side.
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4 comments
Thanks for this- solid read. Framework and everythin'.
I keep it simple. I'm attracted to her and maybe she's attracted to me. fun time!
It's also simple for me cuz I'm divorced.