Ten Things I wish all Dancers Knew About Me (and Customers Like Me)

JacksonEsskay
Virginia
1. I've said it in my profile (which is also at the end of this post), but it bears repeating here, I visit strip clubs for several reasons, but mostly because I like to look at attractive women wearing little or no clothing and moving in highly suggestive ways. I also like having these women dance close to me, especially if that closeness involves actual contact. It's a fantasy, and I find that fantasy relaxing and stimulating at the same time, and I don't mind paying for it. I make no apologies for this. To quote Neal Boortz, "All men are pigs, no exceptions, myself included - oink, oink." The point is, I know why I am here and so do you. And while it can be part of the fantasy to pretend otherwise, do know that I know that too.

2. Also from my profile - I am interested in the fantasy, I am not looking for "extras" in or out of the club. I wish there was someway to communicate this subtly, because when I have been asked about what I am "really" looking for, it makes me uncomfortable. For one thing, I realize that by not being in the market for more than a lap dance, I am depriving you of income that you were hoping, perhaps expecting, to make, and I assume that is going to be reflected in the rest of our encounter. For another, I am paranoid enough to think this is all some elaborate law enforcement sting!

3. I am married, but please don't ask me if I am married. Check my left ring finger. If I am wearing a wedding band, then you know I am married (well, most likely - I do know one guy who, though single, wore a cheap wedding band he picked up somewhere when he went to a strip club because he believed dancers give hotter dances to married men). If I want to talk about my wife and family, I will bring up the topic. If I am not wearing a wedding ring, then it means I don't want to talk about these subjects (or I am not married for real).

4. I do want you to ask me if I want a dance, but not as a conversation opener. If the first thing a dancer says to me when she approaches my table is "Do you want a dance?" the answer is almost invariably "No." I don't necessarily want you to waste time at my table if you need to make a quota (or just need to up your profits for the night), but at least spend a few minutes with me. If I accept your offer to sit with me, I am going to buy you a drink if you want one and I am most likely going to buy at least one dance from you.

5. I do want you to ask me if I have any questions about the club's rules, your rules, etc. Unless you know I am a regular, there's a good chance I will be clueless, and I don't want to offend you or, worse, one of the floor men, by crossing a boundary that I shouldn't.

6. I am part of the 99%. By that, I mean that I am not so wealthy that I can spend money carelessly. I don't think of myself as "cheap," but I do like to watch what I spend in a club. This means that I may buy the 2-4-1 from you as our first dance. If, however, I get the vibe from you that "oh S***, this guy is only going to waste my time with 2-fers," that will be the only dance I get from you. Many's the time that I was unsure if a dance would be compatible with me in the VIP room, but after the 2-4-1 I simply opened my wallet and said, "How much longer can we stay here!"

7. I am about the fantasy . . . but sometimes I'm going to climax. Why? See No. 1 ("oink, oink"). That's why I will excuse myself before we go to the VIP so that I can slip on a condom. I don't want to ruin my pants or gross you out. In truth, I actually prefer to avoid a "happy ending" if possible, because at my age, once I'm done . . . I'm done. So, I actually appreciate a dancer who knows just when to cut back on the friction.

8. I appreciate a good stage dance. I may be the only customer who will tip you more during your stage dance if you are not just shaking your ass in my face. If you are using the pole like a pro or have some hot moves, it tells me you are really into your performance (and likely will be of the same mind in the VIP - and I want to find out).

9. I appreciate costumes. I think what you are wearing on stage tells me a lot about what you are going to be like in the VIP. Most stripperwear, quite frankly, is boring. I can see much the same stuff (or better) at the beach any summer day. But give me a dancer in a costume and I will definitely be leaving with a lot less cash in my wallet than I came with. By "costume," I am not necessarily talking only about genre costumes (fairytale, schoolgirl, French maid, etc.), vintage lingerie, a "Hello, Kitty" ensemble, layers of "animal skin" patterns, etc. all tell me more about you than the typical halter, g-string and butt wrap.

10. I really do appreciate what you are doing for me and I hope I am letting you know that in the right way. I am never sure if my compliments sound phony, if the tips I'm giving are appropriate, if I am being sufficiently attentive to your conversation. Am I trying to hard or not hard enough? Gee . . . may this isn't a fantasy after all, cause I had the same problem when I was dating (except for the tipping part) J

Who I am: I am a fifty-year-old married professional with two teenage children. I travel frequently for business and most of my visits to strip clubs occur on business trips. This is so for two reasons. First, in the city where I live, there is only one strip club and its not a particularly nice one, nor are its hours conducive to my schedule. Second, when I am traveling is when I am most in need of the relaxation that I get from going to clubs. I visit strip clubs for several reasons, but mostly because I like to look at attractive women wearing little or no clothing and moving in highly suggestive ways. I also like having these women dance close to me, especially if that closeness involves actual contact. It's a fantasy, and I find that fantasy relaxing and stimulating at the same time, and I don't mind paying for it. I make no apologies for this. To quote Neal Boortz, "All men are pigs, no exceptions, myself included - oink, oink." However, even if I am a pig, I am not interested in "extras." That is not fantasy - and it is most likely criminal. I am also not foolish enough to believe that the dancer who just rubbed her ass on my crotch for three minutes is remotely interested in seeing me outside the club, though I am willing to believe that at least some dancers are genuinely interested in me as a customer. By this, I mean that all other things (i.e. tips and dances paid for) being equal, some dancers will prefer my company to someone who does not dress as nicely or bother to shower and shave before going to the club. I almost always wear a suit and tie, or at least a dress shirt and slacks. If I sit at the stage, I will tip every dancer at least once during her set (my rationale for when and how I tip will be the subject of a future article) and will usually buy at least one dance (and usually several) during the course of my visit.

32 comments

Latest

JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Very good post man very much needed !

As for me I want it all !
I like beutiful women with smart that can keep me thanking and on my toes as well lol my ass off
I also need a ghetto ho that will suck and fuck the dawg shit out of me
And yes you give me a gff experince with all this I will brake my bank for you...
Like I said before this is all I do ! This is my sport !
rickdugan
13 years ago
1. You go because you like looking at attractive women wearing little or no clothing and moving in highly suggestive ways. Got it. I prefer that they have no clothes at all and that their moves involve time on top of me, but to each his own.

2. For you it is a fantasy. For me it is an attractive girl that I: (1) am currently fucking; (2) have yet to fuck but soon will; or (3) would like to fuck but cannot. Girls in the first category get good money from me, ones in the second category get decent money until they transition into the first category, and girls in the last category get little money from me unless I find them to be highly entertaining

3. You will need to get over your senstivity to the marriage question. It is very common and the girls have all sorts of reasons for asking.

4. You want her to give you a few minutes before pitching a dance - fair enough.

5. You want her to take the initiative in educating you about the club’s rules, her rules, etc. Ok, but what is so wrong with taking a little initiative and asking her? I actually hate it when a dancer decides to start spouting off with what the "rules" are, but to each his own.

6. You are not wealthy and need to watch the cash - ok. I think that most dancers understand this, but it is their job to encourage spending. The word "No" can be a great tool in a club. Also, think of your money as ammo and do not use it too quickly or foolishly and always come to the battlefield with enough of it to stay in the fight for a while..

7. You cum in your pants from lapdances. Ok then.

8. You may appreciate a good stage dance, but many guys really don't, which is why the art of pole dancing is where it is today. Some girls just don't want to take the risk for the meager rewards that good performances bring in many places nowadays.

9. Fancy costumes tell me that a girl is trying too hard. I like my girls au jus. ;)

10. The burden is on her to show appreciation and to entertain you, not the other way around. I like to sit there like I own the joint and let THEM do the worrying about what I am thinking rather than the other way around.

Anyway, just my twocents.
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Rick your 6 and 10 I agree with 2000%....good add in
GoVikings
13 years ago
Good article, Jackson. I like costumes (preferably cheerleader/ school-girl), too. But sadly, like you mentioned in your article, you don't really see them that often.

So, you know a guy whose not married, but would wear a wedding band because he thought dancers would give a better lap dance to married men? lol, that's too funny.
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Vikigns it realy is lol
JacksonEsskay
13 years ago
Che:

I particularly like your no. 6.
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Yes jackson che does have a good number 6 ! And I realy like che numer 3 as well !
JacksonEsskay
13 years ago
RickDugan:

<<3. You will need to get over your senstivity to the marriage question. It is very common and the girls have all sorts of reasons for asking.>>

I will concede you may have a point - only I cannot be sure what reasons you mean. Perhaps it's an angle for finding out if the customer is interested in "extras" but not available for OTC? That might or might not be true of a married man, though presumably easier for a single guy. Or maybe the assumption is married men have less cash to spend (since a single guy at a strip club is less likely to be spending money on braces, summer camps, etc.)?
Dolfan
13 years ago
I'm 100% with Che's assessment.
Asianhunter
13 years ago
Jackson, you make great points and I view your opinions to be mature and responsible. It is unfortunate that pigs like rickdugan exist in life taking up oxygen ...they are the types that take advantage of innocent you g women and only end up spreading diseases.
GoVikings
13 years ago
^- LMAO
jackslash
13 years ago
I used to go to strip clubs to fantasize about the dancers. Then I found out you could fuck them. It's great to fantasize about a hot stripper and then have the fantasy come true.
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Lmfao ®
skibum609
13 years ago
What I never understand is how any guy could bust a nut from friction alone. Never even come close from just a lap dance. Even a full nude - full grind. Just don't get it at all. I am married almost 22 years and my wedding ring is in its original box where its been since after the ceremony.
skibum609
13 years ago
What I never understand is how any guy could bust a nut from friction alone. Never even come close from just a lap dance. Even a full nude - full grind. Just don't get it at all. I am married almost 22 years and my wedding ring is in its original box where its been since after the ceremony.
runnoft
13 years ago
This was a very interesting article that offers an entirely different perspective of visiting strip clubs than my own. I enjoy hearing other people's viewpoints when they do not agree with my own. To each his own, I always say, and if everyone had the same viewpoints and perspectives, what a boring world it would be.
Myself, I go to strip clubs to get as much contact from a pretty girl as I can. I don't care how beautiful the girls are, if I can't touch them I am totally bummed. For me, no or minor contact is a waste of time.
There is only one thing that I really demand from a stripper in the VIP. And that is kissing. And I mean real open mouth kissing. If a girl agrees to that, then I am hooked. Most of the girls I see also will agree to oral sex, both on her part and my part. But this is not required. Kissing is. I always have the girls sit and talk with me over a drink so we can get to know each other a bit and negotiate what will happen in the VIP room and how much it will cost. If it turns out that what she is offering is not to my taste or the price is not right, I will politely decline, but offer her another drink if she likes.
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Run....I like your style
rfcookie
13 years ago
The OP is my kind of customer! One that appreciates my wacky outfits (this past weekend I rocked a corset with a tutu with light up shoes - yes, seriously) and my stage show. (I'm always baffled by why customers seem so unimpressed when I'm upside down, doing a split. It took me a YEAR to get to that level of pole dance skill! Hell, I'm probably the only girl in the club who can do it!)

I suspect I'm not the right kind of girl for most of the posters on this board, however. I don't do extras in any way, shape or form; I don't allow customers to put their mouth on me; I make the vast majority of my money doing table dances on the floor just because I'd rather not fend off wandering hands in VIP. Oh, and I go home every night to my husband, so of course I reject any suggestion of OTC outright.
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Rfcookie your hubby is a lucky dawg !
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
@rfcookie: While it's true that you won't get a boatload of my money, you would likely get at least some. Especially if you can walk the walk that you talk here. :)

Anywhere, here's <b><i>my list</i></b>. Again only partially whimsical. :)

10. I'm just asking. If you're not interested, a simple "no" will serve better than histrionics. And a negative response does not automatically mean that I'll tell you to get lost.

9. Fake porno orgasms are a definite turn off.

8. When I ask you what you like, I'm asking for *your* opinion, not what you think I want to hear. If I've gotten to the point of actually asking that question, I'm ready to carry through to the best of my ability.

7. *All* the way down. It's not like it's long enough to actually make it to your throat.

6. If I didn't like you, my dick wouldn't be in your pussy.

5. I really am as polite as I appear. It's not an act or affectation.

4. The jackhammer blow job won't get me off any faster. Like the tortoise and the hare, slow and sensuous wins the race.

3. Pretty much any position works, so just fuck me. If I need to change, I'm not afraid to tell you.

2. I like my balls tickled and massaged, not scratched and mauled.

1. When you pull off right before I cum and start using your hand instead of your mouth, it's really kind of a buzz kill. I'm wearing a rubber, for gods' sake; it's not like you're gonna get any in your mouth.
rfcookie
13 years ago
GMD - I don't know, I think I actually make pretty good money, and I do it cleanly! I didn't do a single VIP this weekend, and I still went home with just a tad under a grand after housefees.
JacksonEsskay
13 years ago
rfcookie:

I like your style. While I agree that many posters here probably would not gie you more than a second look on stage, I would be at the stage with a fist full of dollars and applause at the end of your set. So long as you made the "no wandering hands" rule clear to me, I think we would have a great time in the VIP. :-)
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
@rfcookie: Given your looks, and crediting your self-assessment as true, I don't doubt it a bit. I'm not gonna pretend that I don't save my large bills for te girls who do the things you don't, but as jackson said, as long as you made the no touch thing, and other rules, known up front, we'll get along, and I won't hesitate to tip you for what you *will* do.

Just don't bitch at me when the Benjamins stay in my pocket. :)
luckyone
13 years ago
1. Don't ask me if you can sit with me. I hate that question. Far be it from me to keep you from taking a seat. Ask me if I'm looking for company right now. Much better question that will save us both a lot of time and avoid awkward moments.

2. If the conversation isn't going well, get a clue. If all I muster as a response to your banter is a "yeah" or "uh huh" or "I don't know" or keep looking away, it just isn't going to happen. Excuse yourself.

3. If I tip you on stage, it probably means I am interested in you. If I tip you repeatedly on stage or tip you more than just a dollar, I almost certainly am interested in you. Maybe it's worth stopping by my table and saying hi, particularly when the alternative is sitting by yourself at the bar.

4. Just because I rejected the first three dancers doesn't mean I will reject you. They, for whatever reason, just didn't do it for me. Pay attention to how I treat you. (See #3 above.)

5. Don't BS me, at least not all the time. I know who I am and what my good and bad qualities are. If you want to compliment me, try and "get it right" and pick up on something real. Don't tell me I look like Brad Pitt or have an enormous cock or am so fit and muscular. Tell me you think I'm funny or intelligent or have soft skin or something I might actually believe.

6. I'm not going to pay you to talk to me. If I like you, I will offer you a drink and likely get at least a few dances with you. I will tip you when you go on stage but I don't pay people to talk to me. You are a dancer, not a therapist.

7. I am human and it is quite possible that, if I find you attractive and fun to talk to and be around, I may get a bit of a crush on you. If you want to make money, don't encourage me to think you really "like" me too (unless you do.) I don't pay the women I know from outside the club to grind on my lap or have sex with me. If you want to keep me as a good customer, just tell me you enjoy hanging out with me in the club. Don't drop hints that you want to see me outside the club unless you really do. If you do, I'm going to see you as a friend or possible lover, not as an entertainer anymore. At that point, buying dances from you is going to feel weird to me. (Honestly, this is probably not a good universal strategy as I think I'm different from most customers in this regard.)

8. If I get dances from you, make sure you at least pretend to be present. Don't stare off into space or look like you'd rather be anywhere else doing anything other than what you are. Make eye contact and smile. Even a little playful banter is nice. (Although this is not the time to talk about your boyfriend or your kids.) I don't care how hot you are. The best dancers are not just objects but fun girls. If you can't at least pretend to be enjoying yourself, don't bother.

9. I am not an 18 year old boy. If you want to arouse me, don't spend all your time focused on my cock. I don't want to be ground down or jackhammered to death. In other words, I like it slow and sensual. Not everyone does but maybe it would be worth at least asking me before you start or picking up on the signals I give during the dance. Some of the best dances I've ever had might be considered "air dances" by some people. They were great because the dancer knew how to tease and arouse without just pounding away at me. Also, I like touching you but I'm not going to try to molest you.. If you want that, you might want to let me know by placing my hands where you'd like them to be. I don't expect you to get off on dancing for me but I'd like it to be as enjoyable as possible for you too.

10. I'm the customer and you're the entertainer. My chances of frequenting your club or your services is directly related to how you treat me. If you are bored and drunk and pissy, I'm probably going to be much the same when I'm around you. How I feel about the time I spend in any club has very little to do with how much money I spent. I've left a club having spent hundreds of dollars and felt good about it. I've left a club after just a drink or two and felt like I wasted the few dollars I did spend. So make my day a little brighter and I won't mind a bit if you make my wallet a little lighter.
JacksonEsskay
13 years ago
Excellent List Lucky
rickdugan
13 years ago
Jackson, in reference to the marriage question, girls can ask for any number of reasons and they hold any number of assumptions. Some actually prefer that he be married with kids simply because he is less likely to become a stalker, while others secretly hate married guys. Some might assume that he has less money to spend because someone is looking over his shoulder, while others find that married guys have more discretionary cash because they are settled down. Some girls assume that he will be less likely to want extras or OTC, while others asume that he is at least as likely to want it and prefer married guys because they are less likely to "fall in love."

Trying to apply a one size fits all description of what and how these girls are thinking is pointless, but I will say that many of them do ask the question. Frankly, I just answer it honestly and it doesn't seem to hurt my game very much. In fact, when I am in road clubs I am convinced that a 'yes" answer actually helps me a great deal as they knows that I am motivated to be discreet and will not fall in love with them.

Anyway, there it is fwiw.
she_is_covfefe
13 years ago
I only ask a guy if he's married if he ask me the same question first. It's only fair!
brimmy
13 years ago
You guys have to many "Stripper 10 Commandments". Just tell the chick 'could you get that dancer for me,she is by far more attractive'. After that statement all ground rules will automatically be laid down how the strippers will treat you.
JacksonEsskay
13 years ago
JayJay

I NEVER ask a dancer if she is married or has a SO. I really don't want to know. TMI as they say.

kingcripple
13 years ago
Jackson- great points. #6 is something all dancers should know. this probably should be #1. it is on my list:

1. I am not made of money. I am a 26 year old college student with bills. I would assume many of you dancers are too.

2. Like Lucky, I am human. I do find certain woman attractive. If I find you attractive and you actually take the time to talk to me, I may develop a crush. I doubt seriously I would try to ask you on a date, but in the VERY rare occasion that I would (this has never happened), reject me tactfully. Tell me you are a lesbian or something, doesn't sting at all if you tell me that.

3. I know I am ugly. Don't lie to me.

4. Being honest upfront gets you major points. Unlike Jackson, I don't care if you tell me have an SO. This helps me not to develop said crush in #2.

5. If you have some sort of drug problem, and are currently high, hide it. It really creeps me out

6. Don't grab my chair get 2 inches from my face and ask me if I am ready for a dance, ask to sit with me first. This has happened to me multiple times, multiple days, multiple times in the same day, from the same girl.

7 Take a hint. If I avoid eye contact with you, don't continue your approach. Don't sit down. If I do make eye contact and politely decline your invitation, go away.

8. If i say "come back later", I most likely would like a dance from you. Don't take it as rejection. I am just scoping out the room and trying to pick between multiple girls. Read #1. If I could get dances from all of you, I would, but i ain't made of money.

9. Come up with better stories. The whole single mom thing ain't gonna cut it. Neither is saying you are paying for school. Alot of you are attractive and know it. You obviously thought you were attractive enough to be a stripper(though there are some baggers). Can you honestly say that you do not have a boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, sugar daddy, or sugar mommy taking care of your ass?

10. I am too polite. I likely wont touch you out of respect or fear of getting my ass kicked. Don't be offended if I dont try to stick my finger in your ass
gatorfan
13 years ago
Now turn those 10 things around and post how to convey your complaints to the strippers.
amarillobabes
13 years ago
Manager's viewpoint again. I am printing most of these comments out to read to my dancers tomorrow. Most I already try to teach but even after 15 years managing I can still learn. Jackson you are my kind of customer. Rick, you aren't :)
As managers (if you're a good one) We are doing our best to run a clean club. Getting a blow job or fucking in the VIP room is a good way to get both me and my dancer thrown in jail. In the state of Texas it's Promotion of prostitution. In my case since I didn't catch the offense quickly enough Aggravated Promotion of Prostitution. Which means I'm an angry pimp. It cost the club a hell of a lot more than the girl made that night in legal fees and bail. A good manager trying to run a clean club is a rarity these days but we are out there. Don't get angry when you see the cameras in the champagne or VIP rooms. Guys like RickDugan made them necessary.
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