Comments by CC99 (page 45)

I don't see how it is a fetish. Its perfectly normal to enjoy cuddling with a cute girl. Saying they have a cuddling fetish is like saying somebody has a vanilla sex fetish lol. The appeal is really more about saving money per time tbh lol. Its just as expensive to pay a girl $300 to cuddle with you for six hours as it is to pay her $300 to fuck you for two hours (standard price of sex in Japan) but with cuddling you get a lot more time and you still get to enjoy physical contact with a pretty girl. But if I was given the choice just to cuddle with a girl for two hours for the same price as getting to have sex for two hours, of course I would choose sex. I guess that's true for some of them. But they could still probably find happiness with a sex robot. Then they won't be resentful anymore and no living girl has to fuck them. Everybody wins.

@Papi_Chulo Some people talk badly about "escapist" forms of entertainment like mongering but I think escapism is actually healthy for people who really have a problem that can't be solved. At least, mongering is usually a much more healthy form of escapism than say heroin would be. Truthfully, being able to escape sometimes can sometimes make living with the problem for the rest of the time much more manageable.

@ironman So there's this one machine at the gym on campus here, and I have only ever seen girls use this machine, anyway, the position she is in looks like this one. https://simplygym.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Blog-header-1-1024x384.jpg Except that its not a leg press. Instead she puts her legs inside of the machine and spreads her legs. Its supposed to exercise her thigh muscles but all I see is a girl lying down with her hands gripping the bar behind her, wearing a tinnie tiny spandex that barely covers her ass or in some cases doesn't even cover her ass all that well, with her legs in the air spreading them over and over again and I swear most of the girls who do that even hump the air a little each time they spread their legs. It creates an extremely awkward situation for me because I can't stop looking at what's going on but the longer I look the bigger my boner gets and the more awkward it is to stand there because I know its becoming visible. But its so hard to look away. Honestly, the way girls use that fucking machine is more sexual and erotic looking than any pole or stage dance I've ever seen at a strip club.

It's hard not to check them out though given that a lot of girls at the gym have a tendency to wear extremely tight and revealing outfits and frequently put their bodies in "compromising" positions while wearing said outfits lmao.

Strip clubs are the only place really where I "don't" freeze up if I was to try and talk to a random girl. Unless I'm drunk, most of my anxiety is gone if I get drunk.

I guess it depends on how bad the cold is. Think about it this way. Is your sickness bad enough that you would consider not going to work or going to a party because of it? If the answer is yes, best to just rest.

That's why for awhile I kept making posts that were essentially worshiping of strippers though because I was so thankful that they helped me get past all that bitterness and resentment. I don't actually like being that way, but its a creeping storm, it just kind of slowly builds until I'm sort of unaware of what has happened. But I have seen the impact even just after getting one really nice hug from a girl, I can practically feel the bitterness wash away as if I had been absolutely filthy and just stepped into the shower. One hour with a girl and for the next week I will not even be depressed or anything anymore. You remember when I PMed you and said basically let's stop arguing all the time? I had gotten laid about two hours before that happened and afterward I felt all my bitterness and anger towards you was just gone and I thought that our constant arguing was stupid. It really is like a vitamin for your mental health.

Oh no, its absolutely about sex. Where do you think the misogyny came from in the first place? It came from repeated rejection. If you start to see that a group of people are constantly excluding you and you don't feel like there's a valid reason why, then you're going to get resentful. That's why prostitutes can make a lot of these guys feel better though, last year around this time I was probably the most bitter and resentful about things I had ever been. Then I started seeing strippers regularly, and all the bitterness was completely gone. Then I went a long time without seeing a stripper and a good bit of the bitterness came back. Now I've read some of the stuff online and I've never been anywhere near that level of bitterness but I can't deny that I've had bitter feelings at many times over how much I've been rejected. What I'm really trying to say though is that until the bitterness really reaches an extreme level, it can be cured. For some reason a lot of people seem to want to act like they were just born bad, that they are a lost cause and nothing can be done about them but that's not true.

Oh even I won't deny that a lot of incels are dangerous. People deprived of sex and touch are essentially in a mental state similar to being very hungry. Some people can take it but it also clearly causes a lot of people's minds to snap. That's why we need to be more accepting of prostitution and artificial sex though instead of stigmatizing people who get their needs fulfilled that way. At least they are trying to find something that works for them. But everything I've ever heard of about pedophiles is that they were pretty much born that way.

I have never seen that used as an explanation for pedophilia. I hear that it's actually something you're born with.

@subraman I'm like that in the sense that I tend to get really obsessive about a hobby when I am focusing on one. I don't split my interests all that well.

Serial killers look at people like pawns in a game. They like manipulating a person and "duping" them so to speak but I wouldn't call that an emotional connection.

The "add-ons" to me sound more like things you would buy if you were just going to go in for a little bit instead of spending a long time there. If you buy three hours though for example, not much point in buying the add ons. No things are more complex than that. Serial killers, sociopaths/psychopaths have an inherent dislike of human connections and either intentionally avoid them or have no desire for them in the first place. Being unable to form them is not a trait of being a serial killer, its not wanting to form them that is a trait of being a serial killer. In order to understand this you need to understand the concept of "shallow empathy" vs "deep empathy." Shallow empathy is being able to understand what somebody is thinking or feeling based on their body language and facial expressions. Deep empathy is when you, upon acknowledging somebody's feelings can feel it yourself. The two don't necessarily co-exist. Neurotypical people usually have a certain degree of both shallow and deep empathy. Sociopaths usually actually understand shallow empathy better than neurotypicals do but they have no deep empathy or very little of it. So they understand what they are doing to you but they just don't care. This makes sociopaths natural experts at manipulating people and making them do whatever they want. If anything, somebody being too charismatic is a red flag because if somebody is too good at charming you, they might be a sociopath. Psychopaths, don't have shallow or deep empathy. One researcher showed a psychopath an image of a person making a "fearful expression" and the guy replied with "I don't know what it means, but I know its what people's faces look like when you stab them." With autistic individuals, they usually actually have more deep empathy than neurotypicals do but are deficient in shallow empathy. This means autistic individuals often times cannot read the body language of somebody and know what they are feeling. If a person lets an autistic person know how they are feeling though, they will probably feel it even stronger than a neurotypical person would. People with a lot of deep empathy but very little shallow empathy are people we often refer to as "not having many social skills." This means a lot of them really have trouble connecting with people but still have a strong desire to do so. So a sociopath would have high level of social manipulation skills, meaning he can form fake connections that he doesn't really feel. He probably has no need or desire for this. A psychopath might just be doing this to isolate her from other people so he can stab her. A normal person might do it out of pure curiosity or maybe a very occasional thing, a high deep empath, low shallow empath will be the majority of regular customers. Cuddling appeals a lot to deep empaths because of how pleasurable the sensation of giving somebody affection is and receiving it yourself. If you don't have any deep empathy like a sociopath or psychopath, it wouldn't appeal to you, it would feel like cuddling a piece of rubber with a shirt thrown over it for an hour.

True, not many jobs out there that allow you to take a nap while working lol.

I would do it though actually, $300 for six hours is a really good price.

"I'd think a guy willing to pay just to cuddle would be potentially dangerous." Why are guys who just want to cuddle seen as dangerous but all the guys trying to get weird/creepy fetishes satisfied aren't seen as dangerous? I think this article gives better information on the cuddle cafes in Japan. https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/japans-first-cuddle-cafe-lets-you-sleep-with-a-stranger-for-y6000-an-hour

I've told this mutual friend that I like her and she knows that I like her. It seems to me that there might be a worry on several sides about the group dynamic being messed up if we dated. I remember telling my friend that I liked her and he said to me that he would try to help me as long as I promised to be cool about it if she didn't want to date me and that I would be okay with continuing to be friends with her and not demand for example that he not bring her over if she didn't want to go out with me. I told him that was fine, and since that's happened I still do treat her like a friend.

That's part of what confuses me is because she acted before like she did. At one point literally days before that she took my hand and squeezed it for like ten or fifteen seconds. True not like she kissed me but it felt like it kind of meant something. Its weird though that she would actively try and prevent it from happening. Another friend of mine suggested she was shy but I was like, shy or not shy, if she really liked me wouldn't she still want to go if she thought that everybody else thought it was normal? It seems odd to me to actively prevent it from happening unless she just lost interest somehow.

I hope you are right, I don't know why I never meet girls like that though. There was a discussion about getting food between me her and another friend. The guy said he was not hungry so we were hanging around for awhile before he said "weren't you guys going to get food?" Then she said "yeah but then it would just be me and CC." He said "what's wrong with it just being you and CC." so she replied "I guess nothing really but I thought we would get a group to go." So yeah, I also asked my friend later what that was about and he said she told him "it wouldn't matter if it was CC or Jesus I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now." It sucks but I guess that ain't happening.

@Nicole I don't know if that's true necessarily. I've seen a lot of girls putting their hair in a bun in a way that looks very cute. @Reverend I have never met a guy with that body type who has that level of arrogance, most guys I know are very insecure about their looks. I can't tell you how many times I've heard guys arguing over whether girls like a guy's pubes to be shaved or trimmed, whether girls like a guy with a beard or mustache or a clean shaven face, stuff like that. My brother think he is hideously ugly and yet he's legit probably like a 7 or so.

"in my sports bra and tennis skirt hair tied up." That's actually a very pretty look. Why do you think it isn't?

The girl who sits in my lap and talks to me for sure.

My problem isn't actually that its "an extension of adolescence." Its actually that it wasn't. Or maybe that its a different kind of adolescence from what I experienced in high school. My college's culture is actually a lot more like an 80s high school film than my actual high school was in that often times it feels like the jocks and cheerleaders here rule the school in the form of frat boys and sorority girls. My high school wasn't really like that. I think what I really miss about my high school though was the intensity of the emotions around me. I still feel things very intensely. I still feel this deep, hormonal need just to touch a girl, to makeout with her on the couch for hours at a time without it progressing beyond that, to have that kind of relationship where you can't get enough of each other. Where just being around each other makes you feel like you're in heaven. What makes me sad is that it feels like a lot of the people around me don't feel that way anymore. I didn't come to the realization this was happening until last year. I asked a friend of mine why no girl I dance with, or makeout with, or even on the rare occasion slept with wanted to see me again. He said "this is college, these girls just wanna fuck you and never see your face again, and then fuck a different guy next weekend." It might sound like an exaggeration but from what I've seen of the frat guys I do know, that really is how things are here. My roommate never has sex unless its on a weekend party night with a girl he just met. I thought that maybe if I went for girls who weren't hardcore partiers that I could find a girl who wants more than that, but then I discovered a lot of those girls just don't want anything. No ONS, and no relationship either. Its like nobody here seems to crave the touch of the opposite sex like I do. The people who do seek sex just seem to want to "score" and have no desire for anything beyond that, and the people who don't just want to hookup don't seem to desire relationships at all. Everybody here wants to be single. Seeing a couple here is so rare that seeing one walking around campus makes me feel like I saw an endangered species. One thing that really fuels my sense of loneliness is feeling like very few people relate to what I'm feeling. Growing up, my parents and a lot of adults kept telling me "girls are emotional, they want to be in love, they want a guy to care about them and make them feel important." But no girl I've ever met in real life has been like this. All the girls I've met IRL seem to want to keep guys at an arms length and dislike it when guys try to get close to them. They want to just use them for hookups or use them only for a casual friendship and nothing else. Being on TUSCL doesn't make things better, I thought most of the people here were PLs like me but it turns out most guys here are just more dudes looking to "score" as many notches on their bedpost as they can. I often wonder if we are this way just because we've all been hurt so badly that nobody can bear trying to make sex anything more than a casual hookup anymore. So often it feels like the people in their 20s considered the "coolest" are the ones who care the least. Is this what adulthood is like? Constant glorification of emotionless sex with NSA? I just wish I could be in high school again, people were actually hornier but they were also really emotional and it didn't feel like everybody was so scared of them yet. Now we've all been betrayed by people, we've all been hurt very badly, and its making it hard for us to try and connect with another person again. Some people here have made fun of me saying I act really immature for my age. Its because I don't really want to be a 21 year old who fucks around. I want to be a 14 year old who feels butterflies in his stomach when he sees his crush and daydreams about her all day. But I want for my "crush" to finally say yes to me and not reject me. I still have so much emotional baggage from that girl who rejected me seven years ago. Until I feel that feeling, of finally having a relationship with that sweet girl next door, I don't think I can ever move on to adulthood because I will always feel like something is missing. That my life is incomplete, that I didn't do something I needed to do. But I worry that time is running out to find something like that, or that maybe time has already run out. The older I get the more that wanting that will come to be seen as "creepy." And then what am I going to do?

I've always jerked off with my left. I don't think I physically can do it with my right. It's too awkward.

I remember one time, it was during thanksgiving break of my sophomore year. That semester had been a really hard one. I went to the strip club and bought a dance with a really gorgeous girl. At this time my club had mirrors in the backrooms, I don't know what happened to them, but in the middle of the lap dance, I saw myself in the mirror and the sight of this unbelievably gorgeous, mostly naked girl wriggling around on top of me and putting her hands behind my head was incredible, like something out of a dream. I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning, and I hadn't felt that way in a long time. At that moment, I realized nobody could ever make me regret the money I've spent at strip clubs. People have acted before like I was wasting my money by spending so much on strippers and escorts, but I can honestly say there's nothing that my money could be better spent on.