I'm not shy nor am I intimidated by a beautiful women, I always like to see where a smile and good conversation gets me: sometimes a phone number, a date, and occasionally, dessert.
However, there is one place I can't bring myself to try to strike up a conversation: the gym.
Maybe it is because I like to concentrate on my workout so I try to respect that boundary, I'm not sure.
Anyone else have a place(s) where they freeze up?
Cristobal I agree. It’s tougher they got their headphones in, if they’re hot they are usually on the treadmills not as much on the weights.
But honestly for me it’s more that I am the one focused, that’s business time. I have to work my ass off in the gym to look good for these dancers. I’m there for a greater cause then the girls around me when I’m there.
I'm not one to easily/comfortably strike up a conversation w/ someone IDK be it female or male - breaking-the-ice does not come naturally to me - when I was younger it wasn't easy/comfortable for me to approach women I didn't know; it got a bit easier as I got older but as I got older I got less interested in dating and civilian relationships and preferred the NSA aspect of SCs.
For me, the gym is actually a bit easier to break-the-ice or strike up a convo since it's something we have in common and can talk about, not to mention once in a while you share a machine/weights with someone at the gym - having said this it seems hot chicks may be more defensive in certain scenarios like the gym or nightclubs where they are dressed to kill and expect to get hit on - I'm a member of LA Fitness and the ones down here in Miami many of the Latinas go dressed to kill and are routinely getting eye-fucked thus they become a bit high on themselves or defensive.
When I was younger I did slightly better in libraries or bookstores; didn't do as well in nightclubs or bars.
Rule of thumb at the gym is if she's wearing headphones leave her the fuck alone. Otherwise it's a maybe
@warrior15
Lol.
I've picked up at church but I refrained from asking to see titties until later.
@jamesSD
So let's scratch up girls with headphones, that elimates 90% of the women at the gym.
@Papi_Chulo
So my hang up the gym doesn't affect me at night clubs, car shows, or other players were civvies are dressed to kill.
It's just the gym.
Some have offered lines to use, but I don't use lines, I like my conversations to be genuine.
I’m from the Ozarks and although it may be common to seek out extras at family reunions, I just can’t do it no matter how hot they are!
@nidan111
Just LDs, no extras though.
Lmao.
@muddy9
I agree, when I'm at the gym I'm there to work out not pick up but I feel like even if I wanted to I can't at the gym, it's my kryptonite.
Strip clubs are the only place really where I "don't" freeze up if I was to try and talk to a random girl. Unless I'm drunk, most of my anxiety is gone if I get drunk.
I see lots of hotties at the gym I go to, and only half of them are doing cardio exercise. The other half actually do lift weights, but the majority are expectedly focused on doing the common female type of weight training exercises, focusing mostly on legs, glutes, lower back, abs, etc.
The one constant that is that almost all of them have earbuds plugged into their phones. At least they are focused on their workouts. A lot of the dudes at my local gym rest 5 minutes between sets and play on their phones. It annoys me because I plan on doing workouts that are high-volume with short rest periods. But still, the one thing that almost everyone has in common at my gym is that there isn’t much socialization going on unless their your workout partner, or they are someone you know outside of the gym.
I’m all honestly, while I do subtlety checkout the girls at the gym, and do find a lot of them to be attractive, I just focus on my workout. If I wanted to score a date, I’d go to a bar or nightclub instead.
I hit my Miami LA Fitness in the late-afternoons where there seems to be a dedicated group that is always there and they seem to socialize among themselves - I see a fair amount of socialization w/ the same and opposite sex - part of it may be that it's mostly Cubans there - I'm pretty sure there is some hooking-up going on.
personally, i don't think the gym is a good place to strike up a conversation/approach a female. first of all, most of them have their headphones in. and even if they didn't, i just don't think your chances are good at the gym. i'm not saying its not possible--i'm saying its a loooooong shot.
@govikings
To me it's not about how good my chances are, striking up a conversation at the market or gas station has a low chance of success too but nonetheless I don't shy away from the chance.
It's hard not to check them out though given that a lot of girls at the gym have a tendency to wear extremely tight and revealing outfits and frequently put their bodies in "compromising" positions while wearing said outfits lmao.
^^^ At my gym, there are a lot of girls in their early-to-mid 20’s with really hot bods that wear tight spandex and are getting in a booty workout. It is a common occurrence for them to choose a station right next to the one I’m using because it happens to be available. Having them right next to me is just a minor distraction. I still keep my focus my workout and will only subtly check them out between sets. While these girls most likely know they are being checked out, it doesn’t faze them one bit. They just focus on their workout, and actually work a lot harder than most of the dudes in the gym.
^hell yes. Taking care of their money maker.
@ironman
So there's this one machine at the gym on campus here, and I have only ever seen girls use this machine, anyway, the position she is in looks like this one.
Except that its not a leg press. Instead she puts her legs inside of the machine and spreads her legs. Its supposed to exercise her thigh muscles but all I see is a girl lying down with her hands gripping the bar behind her, wearing a tinnie tiny spandex that barely covers her ass or in some cases doesn't even cover her ass all that well, with her legs in the air spreading them over and over again and I swear most of the girls who do that even hump the air a little each time they spread their legs. It creates an extremely awkward situation for me because I can't stop looking at what's going on but the longer I look the bigger my boner gets and the more awkward it is to stand there because I know its becoming visible. But its so hard to look away.
Honestly, the way girls use that fucking machine is more sexual and erotic looking than any pole or stage dance I've ever seen at a strip club.
@s275ironman
So evidently I'm not the only one who has issues at the gym.
Consciously or subconsciously it seems like we decided this is a not a place to even try to engage a girl in conversation.
From headphones to sexy outfits, we seem to be intimidated at the gym, which I find ironic because after a decent work your testosterone levels should be high enough to make you feel pretty confident.
@Cristobal, I don’t think I am intimidated at all while I’m at the gym. I just don’t try to pick up girls while I’m there because my main priority actually is to get a workout in, and I plan intense workouts with very short rest periods between sets. While I’m working out, getting a date is the last thing on my mind.
@CC, my gym does have machines that work hip abductors that are mostly only used by women, but they are positioned so they are facing the wall. It would be a major distraction if these machines weren’t facing the wall as the exercise is a movement that involves spreading the legs between an open and close position. If one of these girls is working out right next to me, it is because I am using a Smith machine and their using another Smith machine to the left or right of me. The Smith machine is basically a squat rack with a bar that is cable-controlled. It can be used for various exercises including bench-press, squat and deadlift.
In exercise gym's they don't wear high heels and mini-dresses.
SJG
^^^ funny you should mention that. When I owned and operated my martial arts school, I use to have what I would call plain clothes night where all students were to come in there common street attire to have me assess their needs based on their clothing and shoes. I had several of my female students show up in heels and miniskirts. Those were some of my favorite nights to reach. I had eye candy and they got realistic street defensive training based on how they normally walked around.
@Ironman
Lol yup my gym doesn't care about the "major distraction" part. I almost feel like whoever designed that machine must have intentionally made it look as sexual as possible because everything about it just looks way too extra to seem like it was made that way by circumstance lol. Not only that but it isn't even put in an out of the way area, its right there in the middle of everything.
@Nidan
Did the girls in miniskirts and high heels end up doing high kicks while wearing them?
The gym can be good for eye candy but I’m there to train and not to socialize anyway. So I will steal a look once in a while but that’s about it. It’s not about freezing up for me. I just don’t feel like fucking up what I’m there to do for the remote chance of fucking. I can pursue that elsewhere.
This machine is popular with the women at my gym - some of the women wear tight workout gear that show off their camel-toe when using this machine:
@ cc Yes, they did. Not only that, but Inwould have them do slow static kicks in the air so so I could critique their form.
Good topic, @Cristobal, and some good feedback from many. I joined Planet Fitness about four years ago, and while many fit and attractive young and middle-aged ladies work-out there, I have never attempted to strike up a conversation, nor would I. Nothing more than an occasional smile. But then again, I'm 54. Still, I have noticed it's not a social club. Some might occasionally socialize, but I get the sense they know each other. For pretty much everyone else, it's all business. And most of these good-looking women really do work out hard. In a recent article, I listed exercise as the No. 1 thing I wish I would have done sooner in life. It really has changed my life for the better. I'm in the best shape of my life and it has done wonders for my self-confidence and self-esteem. I am also highly motivated to stay in the best shape possible so that I'm as desirable as I can be for women Not civvies, I doubt I'll ever date again, but professionals. I've been complimented a few times by working girls (in TJ and Toronto), and that further motivates me. One thing I like about my gym is you see many of the same people regularly, including several attractive women. Don't know their names. They don't know mine. Have never said as much as hello to most of them and probably never will. But seeing them almost on a daily basis pushes you to work harder and keep going back, They see how hard you work and what kind of shape you're in and it's a huge ego stroke.
Being a truckdriver i cant go to the gymn everyday. I do walk everyday. Wish i could go to gymn everyday
I don't think I would ever want to go to the gym every day. Maybe three times a week at most but even that gets boring too quickly and I start rushing through my workouts. I think maybe going to the gym twice a week and then doing some kind of more fun exercise like rock-wall climbing on a third day would be best.
^ join a national chain with lots of gyms so you can work out in different cities
@CC99 You're right. Most feedback I've gotten from trainers is that you shouldn't work out every day and that 3-4 days a week with rest in between is ideal. I only learned of this a few months back and have started alternating days (arms one day, abs the next, then legs -- as far as I know, it's OK to do cardio several times week) and I try to take at least one day off a week. It's hard for me to stay away, which is a good thing, I guess. I never would have imagined having that mindset 5 or 10 years ago, when i was looking for any excuse to not work out.
@ papi chulo do not have time i run team and its time sensitive. I layover one day every 5 weeks that isnt gonna do me any good
@ papi chulo drive and sleep bout it. Walk everyday on my 30 minute break.
^ !
This is a good topic cristobal. Agree with y'all, gym is a place to get your workout. And it would not be my first choice for picking up women.
But think of it this way - we all like beautiful, fit women, (plus who are not coy about baring it all). The real dancers are very fit and bare it all. I'd place gym girls next to dancers - and well above girls you meet at clubs, watering holes, parks, dances, library, church, mall, SA, ...
It is for the abundance of fit and fab women - I have respect for the gym. Common topic at the gym is - fitness and life long well-being. Just leave it at that during a convo. Keep it brief and keep it bright. But, always appreciate a beauty when you see one. Over time, OTG will emerge - but no need to force it.
Whether men or women - my experience is body builders are simple and nice people. Focused, driven and health minded - but not devious, cunning or conning. Over time - I have had very enjoyable dates out of my gym - much to my delight - hot and fit women gleefully enjoying simple pleasures that come out of dating. A patient approach leads to very fulfilling dates. I would have already been married to a hottie had I not have a massive proclivity for variety in women.
I'd say TUSCLers who go to gym regularly should not rule out gym as a place to meet and date beautiful, fit women. It's a good and healthy supplement to strip clubs. And much better alternative to bar-exposed women - jaded or paranoid or both. Strip clubs have already spoiled us into spending hundreds on a night out. Such carefree decadence can drive the regimented and focused gym women wild.
@JAprufrock
That's what I've heard too, muscles need some time to rest and repair themselves. I think people who've gotten really into fitness could probably go to the gym every day and be fine because their muscles repair themselves a lot faster but as a newbie that would kill me lol. I've noticed sometimes if you take a week off from a certain muscle group that you can lift a lot more than you could before. I think its because its had more time to fully repair before getting broken down again.
Funny how you mention Planet Fitness, that was the exact gym I ended up using last summer. I've used the gym on campus here several times too but I keep losing my motivation to workout, especially since it closes 11:00 and I feel a little uncomfortable in crowded gyms. My apartment complex has a smaller one that's open 24/7 though so I could easily use that one but too often I find myself making excuses not to way too often lol.
"Over time, OTG will emerge - but no need to force it."
I love that you just came up with that. This definitely needs to be a thing.
@CC99 I wish I would have realized this sooner. Some quick and simple Internet searches would reveal that it's not good to train the same muscle groups on consecutive days and that they need 48 to 72 hours to build back up after being broken down. I found out about 5-6 months ago, after a body-builder type I speak with occasionally noticed me working out arms two days in a row and read me the riot act. He was absolutely right. I've experienced much more muscle growth in my upper body and I'm much stronger by working arms 2-3 times a week as opposed to when I was working them 7 days a week.
@JAprufrock
You make a very interesting point about working out:
It is an ego stroke when others see how hard you work.
I've always felt the gym is not a social club but it's time to focus on me, I think it's one of the reasons I don't socialize there.
@rogertex
Overall, your post is a very balanced viewpoint of the gym.
I appreciate your insight and experience.
I've always thought of the gym as my time, so I try to respect other's time, which is why I probably have never tried to approach anyone but I can see your point:
OTG will emerge, no need to force it.
I learned from either one of my football coaches or PE teachers back in high school that you shouldn’t work the same muscles on consecutive days, so that information is not new. I currently weight train 4 days a week, and do some type of cardio 7 days a week with my cardio sessions being very light on my 3 non-weight training days. My weight training workouts are broken down by specific muscle groups and I usually don’t work the same muscle twice in one week and instead do a heavy workload for each specific muscle once a week. If I wanted to, I could spread my weight-training workouts across 5 days a week and still only work each muscle group once.
I do a lot of 12-ounce curls in the club.
I never felt comfortable hitting on women at the gym. Although some gyms are glorified pick-up joints, that's not what I'm there for. I guess if a woman was throwing some really obvious signals it would be different. I mostly just put my head down and got through my workout.
I'm doing crossfit now. So, it's a very different dynamic than a regular gym.
It seems the consensus is the gym is not a social club, I feel much better, I thought it was just me.
I wouldn't approach a chick at the gym but there's been times when a convo has started when me and a chick have been using the same machine - on some occasions it's been a MILF that has started the convo while we share a machine - I find this easier than approaching a chick cold-turkey
hell yeahz nigga i be pumpin away at the gym and snorting coke off the weights an shit.
dem pigs can't do shit cuz i go so hard
No, for a lot of people the gym is the social club. Replacing the disco.
But I don't like it because the women don't wear high heels, makeup, and mini-dresses.
SJG
I'll pull off my seduction moves any time and place.
Buy my video for $199.99 and you can become a player like me.
^^^ If I throw in an extra $20, can I get the fancy suit with the video?
Dude sign me up for those videos and the suit
If you want to sucessfully talk to women in a gym be a regular. Its the same as being a regular at a strip club. The girls feel more comfortable talking to you and its gotten to the point that women at my gym like to run on the treadmill in front of me. If you are a newbie I would recommend giving a girl a compliment and if she turns you down walk away. Girls at gym have to deal with old creepy guys all the time. The worst things these guys do is glare at them from across the gym and/or use a cardio machine right next to them hoping to start a conversation. Dont be that guy.
Cristobal, I think this thread and some of your others, get into issues about civilian women.
Most of the time they are not prepared for instant sex, and so it will be the telephone number, and then the Car Keys and Wallet date. And then in most venues they don't dress sexy.
So there are so many speed limits being imposed, that I see it all as a big problem. Not insurmountable or a total show stopper, but disagreeable.
And then night clubs run on alcohol, which is not compatible with driving.
So it all tends to force you into Car Keys and Wallet Dating, and it just makes for too many hurdles to jump, and it makes the Car Keys and the Wallet too central to the relationship.
So I think it best if the girl comes out of an instant sex P4P venue, even though she will for all intensive purposes end up as a kind of a GF later on. Might not be for free. I think it best to keep on giving her money, Mistress Maintenance.
SJG
Ten Years After - Good Morning Little School Girl - 8/4/1975 - Winterland (Official) youtube.com
@njbella
I agree, don't be that guy.
Yesterday, I was at the gym and while on the treadmill a cute girl starts running on the treadmill next to me and about 10 minutes another cutie starts jogging on the other treadmill next to me.
Like usual I focused on my workout and left without saying a word, it felt good to complete my workout and not worry about anything else at the gym.
@san_jose_guy
Interesting idea.
I enjoy the company of all types: civvies, bargirls, dancers, coffee girls, etc.
I'm usually not interested in instant sex even in the P4P setting.
Even if I have a CF (mistress) I enjoy the company of other women too, so many women too little time.
@Cristobal "Yesterday, I was at the gym and while on the treadmill a cute girl starts running on the treadmill next to me and about 10 minutes another cutie starts jogging on the other treadmill next to me. Like usual I focused on my workout and left without saying a word, it felt good to complete my workout and not worry about anything else at the gym."
Wise decision. Far be it from me to offer dating/pick-up advice, since I haven't done it in years, but I have plenty of gym experience and here's my 2 cents: Work hard, work out often, be all business. Don't be the ass clown who does one machine in a half hour and walks around checking out chicks. Try to go at the same time every day (4-5 times a week), so that you become a regular and are immediately recognized as such. IMO, women notice when you're a regular and you're working hard and dedicated and not coming across like a gym gigolo. You earn respect this way, and over time, it might lead to small talk because they recognize you as a hard-working regular.
@JAprufrock
I agree, don't be a gym gigalo
I especially enjoyed @rogertex's post because it was so balanced.
I try to focus on me during that time and I believe that's why I don't try to pick up there.
I think I used to be more attracted to the idea of instant sex. Its kind of easy to see why somebody would, you wanna get to the good part fast. I found though that instant, quick sex often results in low reward. Its hard to really become comfortable enough with somebody in an hour that you can have sex. I can easily makeout with a girl instantly but for sex I kind of want to get to know her a little bit. Doesn't have to be super long time but I would want to feel comfortable with the girl. Making out can make me feel comfortable with her a lot faster though.
@CC99 Are we talking front room makeout sessions at the gym?
Lmao yes, front room makeout session in the workout area and then take her to the spa room when your own pants are ready to come down.
Sorry @SJG I couldn't resist.
@cc99
Lol...
@JAprufrock
Front make out session at the gym... Don't be that guy... Lol
Nidan111, those plain clothes nights, where sometimes women would come in high heels and mini-skirts, that sounds awesome.
Cristobal, if you focus on instant sex venues, then the relationship which can ensue will not be so bound to car keys and wallet dating.
SJG
It is often hard to get a girl into the car to go home with you, it can offend her sense of pride and propriety. It can be like this until you have had that preliminary makeout session, and then that first FS. So you end up doing car keys and wallet dating, and the relationship will tend to be bound to this.
It is not the girl who is the issue, it is just the restrictions built into the venue in which you met her.
SJG
I remember a hot dancer that when she first met me a year or two ago, asked if I worked out at a nearby gym. I didn't live in town but she apparently went to a nearby gym. Made me interested a bit in visiting the gym. I always figured work out times would not match up well for when strippers work out versus a guy working regular hours during the week. I think one of my brothers met his wife at the gym so it does happen. I never tried it. I always thought I can work out more at home in the time it takes to travel back and forth to a gym.
@orionsmith I also worked out at home (treadmill only) for many years, but too often was distracted by other things. Still, I figured it was better to exercise at home than waste time driving back and forth to the gym. Then my treadmill broke about four years ago. At first I was going to buy another cheap one for around $400, then I saw a local gym (Anytime Fitness) was offering a free seven-day trial. I began going there on my way home from work (saving me from having to make a separate trip) and liked it. The fee was ridiculously high after the trial (I think around $350 a year), so I checked out Planet Fitness, which was less than half the cost and more than twice as big, with an actual locker room, as opposed to having to change in the bathroom at ATF. No brainer. I signed up at Planet Fitness and it's been on the best decisions I've made in my life, no hyperbole.
I enjoy going to the gym, as opposed to working out at home, because there I feel I'm working and my home is my sanctuary so I don't like mixing the two (that's a main reason I've refused to work secularly from home).
Also, while I'm at the gym seeing people work out helps to keep me motivated.
The eye candy is a distant third reason.
Church. Something about asking if you can see a girl's tits just doesn't feel right there.