Comments by reverendhornibastard (page 5)

Those of the feminine persuasion (by birth) who are both moist and vulnerable are my favorites.

I’m surprised at the prices quoted for dances. $20/song is still the norm in the Houston area. The price hasn’t changed (but the quality has improved tremendously) over the last 30 years.

My experiences with titty bars commenced in the mid 1970s in Texas. The strip clubs I went to were “you can look but you can’t touch” kinds of places. It was like going to Baskin Robbins just to “look at the ice cream.” My first in the club contact occurred in the early 1980s in Houston. That’s where I had my first lap grind. They were not too intense but it was a welcome improvement to have the ice cream cones reaching out to touch me that way. But there were no VIP rooms back then. Over time, I learned to sit in darker, more secluded parts of the strip clubs. This led to better grinds and the dancers encouragement to let my hands roam. But there were usually limits on where my hands could roam. Titties and ass were OK but nothing was allowed under the G-string. With one glorious exception on a frigid night in Texas in the late 1980s, I never had any in the club extras. That night was an aberration. I’ve never come close to anything as marvelous as that in a club since then. By the 1990s, wicked grinds and mutual grope sessions were becoming widely available, at least if you were a regular customer. I don’t know when VIP rooms became common in the USA. I think I was living overseas when VIP rooms became commonplace. I became acquainted with them around 2003 and bought my first “forever VIP membership” in 2008 (and my member has never been happier). Now, if you have money and/or are a regular who can spot the high mileage girls, anything and everything is available in some of the better clubs. The most remarkable aspect in all of this is that the price of a lap dance per song has been constant at $20 for over 30 years. What other vital service has been so immune to inflation for so long?

I’ve done anal a times (when requested by a significant other). It’s not my thing. Call me old fashioned, but as far as I’m concerned, splooge was meant to be deposited in the koochie (as deep inside the koochie as possible).

Shadowcat, If you want any of these women to take you seriously, you have to offer them a ride on something more exciting than a moped. When I had a Harley (back in my Golden Era), I referred to it as my 750 pound, gasoline powered vibrator. I’d take cute girls for a ride and, if they were well behaved, afterwards I’d let them play with my kickstand. I’d pay $1 million to live those days again.

#2 or #4 for me, please ... And a bottle of baby oil!

DeclinedToState, A 3-some involving Mrs. Hornibastard and Amanda is a delicious dream, but I’d have to say that’s all it is - a dream. I don’t know enough about Amanda to guess how she’d feel about it, but I am sure it wouldn’t interest Mrs. Hornibastard. She doesn’t mind sharing and she likes to watch and be watched. But when we were having so much fun with some of her friends in Jakarta I never saw her touch another woman. Like me, Mrs. Hornibastard is a hard core hetero.

DeclineToState, I agree those are easy and obvious solutions but they are not so easily implemented. Because of COVID concerns neither of our spawn have been on a sleepover in the last 12 months. They’ve each been invited to a couple of sleepovers but Mrs. Hornibastard nixed the idea. If she hadn’t nixed it I would have. As for babysitters, we haven’t used any since we lived overseas and had live-in servants and nannies all but one of whom were family (relatives of Mrs. Hornibastard). We just never go anywhere without our kids. Anyway, the issue has not been brought up again.

gSteph, No promises regarding how the story unfolds. Sometimes, even when I lived in that sexual fantasyland some refer to as “Southeast Asia,” great expectations often came to naught. I usually don’t write about those because they’re not particularly interesting and certainly not titillating. Since I’ve been living Stateside, my life has been great (in a family sort of way) but not full of the kind of outrageous or salacious stories that would be of interest on this site. Sad to say that I left my “rock star lifestyle” behind when I returned to the USA. But whatever the outcome, whether it’s memorable or not, I’ll at least provide an update.

Herbtcat, As I’ve gotten older some of my favorite bad habits have fallen by the wayside. I no longer smoke and I only drink on rare occasion. When I do drink, I drink very sparingly. Better open up that bottle and enjoy it BEFORE you turn 69.

Thanks, everybody. I blew out the birthday candles on the first try and everyone ate some cake. Later Mrs. Hornibastard blew my candle while I ate her cake (just as she had promised). Amanda was still in our home at the time but she was in the other room watching a movie with our kids, graciously babysitting so Mrs. Hornibastard and I could have our “adults only” celebration without having to wait for the kids to go to bed. I appreciated that gesture very much from Amanda but I believe my 12-year old son appreciated Amanda even more than I did. He was clearly mesmerized by the tight, form-fitting outfit Amanda wore when she came over. https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7297 I admit, I was very impressed too. Mrs. Hornibastard was initially very complimentary about Amanda’s attire and sleek, athletic looks until after Amanda went home and our 12-year old daughter said she wanted some exercise clothe’s “just like Amanda’s but in pink.” Mrs. Hornibastard and I both instantly vetoed that idea saying that such attire was intended for “bigger girls.” But our daughter immediately shot back pointing out that she is almost as tall as Amanda. We explained that by “bigger girls” we meant “older girls” (who are not our on the cusp of being a teenaged daughter). Our son already said he is definitely in favor of having Amanda over next weekend so she can join us for another movie night. His sister immediately wisecracked, “you just want Amanda to sit in your lap!” Our son denied harboring such lurid sentiments. No one believed him.

I often feel sorry for strippers. They don’t have to be crying. I will generously tip an overweight girl stripper on stage who everyone else is busy ignoring. Most of the time they seem to understand and appreciate the gesture. They come around afterwards to say thank you but don’t appear to expect anything more from me.

I regard most mongers as fundamentally decent people but I never lose sight of the fact that most members of decent society regards us as fundamentally indecent reprobates. But I wear my bad reputation with pride. Among my many personalized T-shirts, one of my favorites says: Legally, it’s questionable. Morally, it’s sinful. Personally, I LOVE it!

Thanks guys. Someday, when it’s safe to do so, we should have a pervert party somewhere suitably disreputable. I can think of a few places. I bet you guys could suggest a lot of great places I’ve never even heard of!

McNulty, Great idea! Maybe we could go one of those places we would have to lie about to our significant others!

Replacing inoperative links above: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=74029 https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=74073 https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=74153

FishHawk, I had my share of wild times and then some. This is partly because I’m old (been a bad boy for a loooonnnggg time), traveled the world and spent many years living in some of the most pussilicious places on earth. But I’m sorry to say, I think I’ve just about run out of scandalous stories. The rest of my stories are a bit less salacious. But I will write about what it was like to go on a love safari in Southeast Asia. But not for a while. I’m going to be extra busy for the next couple of weeks.

The first link in the story is misplaced. That photo is irrelevant to this post.

Warrior15, It bugs me that I can’t remember the name of the club back then. It seems to me it was “Paradise” something or other. That one night when it was so damn cold and the rods were icing up was the best time I ever had there or in any other club. It was a decent club but it wouldn’t compete in the modern era of high dollar membership VIP clubs. I was just in the right place at the right time. If I had shown up an hour later, the club would have already been closed and I would have had to go back to my hotel room still horny.

McNulty, For the first time in my life. I am too happy with my current situation to try any “real cheating.” I have too much to lose now. I don’t count strip club encounters as “real cheating” because there is no emotional investment involved and complications are easily avoided as long as the strippers involved don’t know how to contact you.

McNulty, My first and second wives were hot, the second one more so than the first. But despite some fun times (the best of them described here), for the most part I was not very happy with either of them. #1 was erratic and even a bit loony. #2 was a very high maintenance woman who was always trying to change me. She wanted me to go out dressed like a fucking Presbyterian! But I’m just fine with #3. I really doubt if I could do any better.

I will get around to that one ... It’s not a saga like some of the other stories. It was just a one night spree.