When you strike up a conversation with a dancer...is there anything you consider to be off limits (meaning if she brings up or asks you about a certain topic it turns you off to spending money on her)...How guarded are you of personal thoughts & opinions? Or would you rather not know anything about the dancer and just have the fantasy of the pretty (quiet) woman all over you...
To summarize...in the club setting do guys prefer to engage in meaningful conversation or does this ruin the naughty fantasies...after I get a few replies, I will explain why I am curious. :)
Missed ya'll!!
I enjoy conversation with interesting people, and that includes those dancers who qualify for that description. As for talking about opinions, nothing is inherently off-limits, but I might steer the conversation away from controversial topics if it is obvious she and I would argue about something.
I mean...ok two different things I guess...
1) If I ask you something personal like, why are you a Democrat? or why do you cheat on your wife? Can I pretty much give up the idea of you spending on me.
2) If you get to know a dancer and like what you find out...does that make it boring to get dances...would you be more likely not to try naughty stuff if you felt like you KNOW the girl...
I don't see any problem with you asking why I was a Republican, but if you asked why I'm a Democrat that might send me on a tirade. <just joking, the question is fine> I still remember this one dancer who went off the deep end because a favorite customer of her's admitted that before President Bush the youngster, he had been a loyal lifelong Republican. It didn't matter how many times the customer explained that he was no longer a Republican and didn't give a damn about the Republican party due to President Bush, the dancer was just fixated. Even when the customer said he was thinking of becoming a Democrat that didn't help. Later the customer joked with me that he didn't know it was a crime to be a Republican. I gave him the look and he understood that he was forever stained (he knew that I had been a Republican)----even voting straight Democrat couldn't save his soul.
The more I like the dancer generally the more I like the dances. However, dancers that I've known have a bad habit of refusing to do GFE if they get to actually like you. Also, finding GFE dancers seems like winning a real raise. Given the emotionally desperate and dumb customers it is easy to see why dancers more often than not Just Say NO to GFE.
I think religion and politics are always risky subjects to get into with someone you don't know very well. Also, I find it a turn-off when girls talk about their boyfriend or problems with their boyfriend. I know I'm not the first, but I really am not interested in talking about the others.
Ha! I am a Republican and often I am the only one...in the club. So when I find men with the same political views it's awesome but usually I find myself preaching or fighting a losing battle with dancers...for example they tell me they are Democrats because...they want free health care...or the many of them on welfare want more benefits...just ignorant stuff.
I have no problem voicing my opinion on any subject simply because it is easier than trying to lie or playing dumb(which I feel I am incapable of)
The whole thing is I have sat with a customer before and hit it off so well it made the dancing awkward...like he felt I was his equal in some way and that made it difficult for him to demean me...which makes me wonder if men secretly want a dumbass...
Or then that would only apply to men who deep down feel having a dancer give them a lap dance is demeaning to her...because I cannot assume it applies to every guy... Not to sound like Dr. Phil but I am looking for complex answers on this lol...
I always avoid topics like religion and politics, but this has bitten me in the butt. My last ATF and I contemplated having a relationship (actually, she was stringing me along), but I found out she was an atheist and this was a major turn off. A pagan I can easily deal with, but atheist-no.
In a club I really don't like to discuss my work. Some men are defined by their professions, I'm not. I'm very successful at my work, but I'm a writer at heart and I'd prefer to talk about that-without the dancer thinking it's how I make my money.
My best ATF and I shared a love of older movies. We discussed our passion before and after, and sometimes during our lovemaking sessions.
I need some conversation. I know a dancer that I like getting dances from, but we just sit and stare around the room before I ask. Because I love the dances.
good, fair question.
for me, i prefer staying away from...
- questions about my relationship status and why it is the way it is. why am i single? does it matter? do i have kids? ( do i ask about your boyfriend?)
- where i work. we can talk about what i do, but not the location. it makes me edgy. like you may come see me
- why i am at a club on a nite like tonite. im coming in to discuss the merits of schubert vs handel? no.
- why you found religion/buddha/jesus. you found spirituality? awesom. what does it mean to you? even better. that you found it strung out on meth while your 3 month old was crying? buzzkill.
- the worst? dont dominate the conversation. ask questions. listen. dont be like my ex girlfriend who talked to much. theres a reason shes an ex.
I try to avoid religion & politics in stripclubs. Too controversial. I could just see myself getting into a heated argument with a hot naked stripper over some hot-button topic. Total and complete buzzkill. If I sense the conversation might start drifting in that kind of direction, I'll suggest that we go have some dances, rather than talk.
If a dancer wants me to spend money on her, it would be wise not to ask about wife and kids. I also don't want to hear about her tragic life and all of her personal issues. If she wants to chat, tell me something that would arouse me.
To me, politics are fine, actually welcome, sports, the weather, traveling... I don't want to be personal, not about me or you. I don't really want to hear about your kids or anything too personal.
For me, the conversation can be stimulating, but I want it to be a conversation I could basically have with anyone.
Before getting a lap dance if I'm planning on getting one. I don't want to get into an argument. I usually skip talking politics or religion and not too many dancers bring it up although where I live there are more Republican viewpoints. By that I mean they believe less government is better, less taxes, less government spending even though our last president didn't seem to follow through on that. If it sounds like it will start an argument I'd prefer not to even discuss it with a dancer.
The other thing I don't really care to hear about right before a lap dance is her kids. I once had a dancer who apparently was new to dancing. She decided to kill a few minutes before starting to dance for me by telling me about her family and her kids. They were for instance age 3, 4, and 5. She started giving me more personal information then she started dancing. She had me thinking about her kids and that turned me off. I wanted to focus on her so that was a bit of a turnoff right before she danced for me. Now if she had waited until after the dance was over it wouldn't have bothered me. Reminding me about reality and/or kids before a lap dance is not a turn on. I usually don't discuss boyfriends, husbands etc. before a lap dance either. Actually not much at all. I may still have some hangups with getting a high contact lap dance with a married dancer so if I knew ahead of time, I'd probably tell her no thanks when she asked to give me a lap dance. However I did agree to get a lap dance from one dancer when I believe we were both slightly intoxicated. She told me she was married but that her husband was ok with her dancing just as she was taking me in the back room for the dances. I prefer single girls if it's a high contact club even though I know some dancers don't seem to care. If it's not a high contact club, I don't care if they are married or not. I don't really to hear about a boyfriend or husband right before a dancer dances for me. Talking about kids, boyfriends, etc. right before dancing I think is a turn off. I don't care if she talks about that after she dances.
I prefer dancers not get in arguments with me either. I don't enjoy going to strip clubs to argue with people. I may not have a problem with it online but I see strip clubs as a chance to have some fun and I don't go to argue with dancers about why I should get a dance. One dancer actually argued with me for 15 minutes. I left her at the table and wasn't happy with her. Trying to talk me into a dance for 30 seconds and either leaving or just sitting with me and changing the subject I'm ok with.
If I like a dancer a lot more topics are open for discussion in my opinion.
It seems like you guys are on the defense...like I may approach you and push my opinions and personal information on you...that is common sense [to me at least] not to initiate an argument with a customer whose objective walking in the door is to have fun...
Let me give an example...
If you are at a table with a friend and I join you two...let's say we are talking about the super bowl and you say the Steelers were the better team overall. I could say:
1) He he I like the Steelers...the uniform is a like awesome color!!! You are sooo right.
or
2) Well, I think Arizona was the better team in the Super Bowl however hampered by penalties and overall statistically speaking the Cardinals are a better team overall. Not that it matters because I am a Saints fan haha like we will ever see a Super Bowl...I wish.
I mean you would either be thinking you hate me or let me have an opinion...not like arguing but I am not going to agree with everything you say...
the overall thing I am curious about is if you treat smart girls different than push overs or dumb ones I guess.
I like women who can carry their end of a conversation, especially if they are articulate, witty or flirtatious in their conversation. The only topics that are off limits for me are specific details about where I work, where I live, to whom I'm married. I want some semblance of privacy/anonymity so as to avoid any unwanted intrusions into my private life. For her, there would not be too many topics that I would consider to be "inappropriate" other than discussions about an untreated STD that she wanted to tell me about-- it might be "appropriate" in the sense that I'd adjust (actually abolish) my interest in a high contact lap dance or extras but it would certainly be a major turn off. Looks like most of the inappropriate conversations in the above posts generally fall into the "turn off" category.
I don't know for sure if there is a bad topic with me. It probably depends on how much experience I have with the dancer. If she's new, I don't want to hear about her kids or how much money she's not making. I don't mind religious conversations, but if they are going a way I don't want it to go, I try to talk about something else. I stay away from politics, although I could have a decent conversation about it with one of my old ATF's.
"whose objective walking in the door is to have fun"
That is the objective? More than a few times dancers have told that the reason to go to a stripclub is to buy dances. The dancers were actually shocked when I said NO that doesn't need to be the reason. A customer may plainly state and even believe that they want to have fun, but that may not be the case. Perhaps the customer needs to get even with all those women who rejected him over the years or who refused to put out on the first date.
Maybe the reference was just to customers whose objective is to have fun. . . . I've knew a violent man whose idea of fun was inflicting extreme pain and seeing misery----my judgment of him to his dismay was that he was garbage. To my surprise he was opposed to all homicide and placed a high value on human life. Life being the key for whatever reason. Also, to my surprise he enjoyed being subject to extreme pain (broken bones/wounds that require stitches/burns). The pain whether it was his or some unwilling victim was very positive in his mind.
I guess there is no shortage of cookie cutter people who basically conform to reasonable stereotypes. The dancer is just interested in money. The john just wants to demean the prostitute. The feminist hates men. The Christian loathes sex except for procreation. I know a guy who believes that if a trait is prevalent among 60% or more of a population then it should to save time/make money be applied to the whole. Thus, if 60% of Jews are stupid that gets converted into 100% are stupid. He thinks everyone should think like that because it is reality.
Dancers who wish to make money and live much happier lives should, imo, read this book a minimum of 10 times and try to apply the lessons. This one gentleman that I knew became enraged when I mentioned that was one of my favorite books. He considered himself to be the all knowing expert on Dale Carnegie and I definitely wasn't a Carnegie person. :) To clarify somewhat, I had no interest in being a Carnegie person; now, if money and happiness are the end all be all then yes being a Carnegie person is definitely recommended.
My neighbor came to chew me out yesterday. He was yapping about property values in the neighborhood. He wants high values. I want low values (if I'm staying). When he heard that I wanted low values his reaction is anger. I'd rather see him happy assuming that I don't get screwed in the process. Anyway, he says that it is unfair for me to lower his property values. And, I have no problem with that line of thinking except that he has no concern about me or anyone else generally so why should I care about his property values??? Every time he mentioned community I cringed. How is there any type of community when he only cares about himself? And, that is a fine way of thinking if I'm allowed the same courtesy. The fuzzy wuzzy point of this minor digression is that money doesn't need to the main focal point and just because a person yaps their head off about you being charitable doesn't mean they're even willing to give a penny to a good charity.
Frankie, I much prefer interesting women to boring ones, and I find that intelligence is typically proportional to that level of interest. For example, just reading your thoughts in this thread make me wish I had encountered you instead of some of the dancers I have... It is obvious you understand why you believe what you believe; you don't base your views on mere feeling, but on actual thought.
You asked: "would you be more likely not to try naughty stuff if you felt like you KNOW the girl..."
The answer to this is negative. Actually, I don't "try" naughty stuff. As Yoda said, "Do. Or do not. There is no try." In the context of getting naughty with a dancer, that must include her willingness (and hopefully her desire) to participate in the naughtiness, of course. So, if she's interesting (as I prefer), I want to KNOW her in the conventional since, even as I may want the "know" her in the biblical sense...
I don't like being asked personal questions, and I never ask them: "do you have an SO", "what's your real name", etc.
I'm probably also not interested in topical conversation, ie. politics, the economy, philosophy. I'm just not interested in a stripper's comments on these topics.
I prefer keeping it to cocktail-party banter, really. "Have you been to the new whatever?" That kind of thing.
Jablake: I would like to believe every man that chooses to spend his time/money at a strip club has having fun as the main objective...I'm sorry some girls are so self-absorbed they think it is just about dances...maybe that's just the mentality they have with dancing. I know when I take my friends to a strip club I want to have fun and when I dance at a club...I do it for that same reason. It is fun. It's a choice not a requirement...it can be the most fun job ever.
how: Frankie was my very first stage name and I still love it but can't keep cringing every time I see it on here...lol. It's Anna or Frankie...small stuff. :)
The reason I said less likely to try naughty stuff is sometimes customers that know me are intimidated to try fun things and later when I bring it up as a question "Do I not make you want to....?" the response is always "I always have but I thought you would slap me." or " I didn't think you would go for that. " As a kinda experiment...new guys I didn't really seem interesting to and played blank expressions with were acting all grab ass before we even went to VIP. When I apply to graduate school I want to use some of these situations and just wanted input.
Because I live in Miami it is normal for me to come in contact with people from all over. I'll never forget the young man from rural Nebraska or Iowa. What a trip. I'd swear he was a Martian because he was so out of place in the big bad city. A true Mr. Innocent looking for a little sinful fun. And, HEAVEN that only cost I think it was $400 just for the girl. If you live in the middle of nowhere that is a good way to save the dollars.
From meeting all these different people, I get a very strong sense that their belief system may be totally insane and also that people have different needs and values. In my immediate local area Saddam could probably easily defeat President Bush in an election. What does that mean? The people love Saddam? Hate President Bush? Hate Republicans? Heck, could be any combination. Maybe it means this local area has a lot of refugees from a Iraq that have moved-in to flee all the horrors rained down upon them. Sorta like the communist and loyal Soviet who I had lunch with. She was a civil engineer (so much for logic) and was convinced the Soviet Union was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Other people that I met from the Soviet Union thought of it as a giant prison and they'd love to get their hands or more likely a rope around such a former "comrade."
Anyway, seems like body language is a pretty good guide to communication with these different people as well as LISTENING. A person from Canada who thinks Canada is a 100 times better than the U.S. is unlikely to change his mind after he's experienced both countries. Why fight the issue unless his body language gives you a flashing neon red HELL YES!!!!!!! :) Besides the body language remember the maxim that opinions are like assholes . . . iows, don't get bent out of shape because an imbecile or genius doesn't respect you for whatever his prejudice is.
I can deal with any conversation. I am one of those that is not an expert in any field, but know something about most anything, at least enough to carry on a conversation in a SC.
Some here say they are a Republican or democrat. I prefer to say I am a conservative.
Some on TUSCL have knocked the moral principals of conservatives because they are telling them how they should live. I'd rather someone follow someones moral guidelines then a liberals telling EVERYTHING I must do. What I can drive, what my thermostat must be set on, what I may eat, etc. They wish to control my entire life is seems, other than being moral. Funny how many think that is the worst that can happen to them, being moral.
Yes, morality like that of President Bush seems pretty damn disgusting. I'd rather have some liberals tell me and other supposed "conservatives" what I can drive, what my thermostat must be set on, etc. This morality filth is even worse when it is mixed with their God and their teachings and their arrogance and their prisons and their hatred.
Now, if President Bush's morality was applied against his supporters by an omnipotent being or nation, well that right like seems to be a reaping o what you sow. A little old fashioned conservatism----not this new crapola which just seems like stunted liberalism.
Well it seems my topic has turned...to politics.
I will just say that as a College Republican it took me 3 years to convert my Grampa, who lives in East Texas where he runs a farm, from voting Democratic to republican. He held every belief of the party but had "heard" from friends family and co-workers all his life that conservatives were all about the rich and democrats the poor. It was so crazy to me he had no factual basis for his disapproval other than the nightly news and gossip among old people. Perfect example of society today, still too lazy to research for themselves.
I have worked at law firms with attorneys having what I called bi-polar party disorder to pick on them. Defending criminals all day they would curse the Republican Judges...then at 5pm (more like 3pm) take off to that same Judge's house to play golf and drink Scotch singing the praises of Bush. Lol. Anyways what I learned is there is a big gray area.
In defense of the former President...he governed my state for 2 terms before he was your President for another 2 and I couldn't be happier with his legacy here (especially tax free weekend shopping).
ANYWAYS...seriously I can have a civil discussion and have many times about politics in strip clubs...in fact, I won my most generous regular customers over with it.
Here is something I wonder...do you guys think strippers can tell something about you based solely upon your appearance? Lol...I have been known to bet money I can spot an attorney or a Republican and can usually predict IT Professional or Medical Professionals but not well enough to risk money on it... have you ever had a dancer just guess something about you? We have really refined interpersonal skills...well some of us.
Now I need a drink...
<3
A dancer can usually tell a lot about me by appearance. Most times I visit a club, I am on my bike, ergo, biker clothes. Of course even biker garb doesn't say a lot. Unless up close, they wouldn't know if I were a 1% or not, or other things about me. Only easy to guess I ride a bike. The main thing dancers don't know, is how much I have to spend on them.
"He held every belief of the party but had 'heard' from friends family and co-workers all his life that conservatives were all about the rich and democrats the poor."
If it were true that Republicans were all about the rich and democrats the poor, then then my initial knee jerk reaction would be in favor of the Republicans. The reason being the ideal that the Republicans were all about the rich in order to create wealth. I get a little sick about hearing "jobs, jobs, jobs" as if jobs are good in and of themselves. What created wealth (besides massive fraud and money creation) was technology that eliminated jobs---kill the stinking jobs, but it such a way as to produce more!
Under President Bush, Republicans seem to stand for ever more government. Wonderful. However, if more government is the ticket then it is more government of the Democratic kind that needs to be shoved down people's throats. You know busy bodies for gun control, equal opportunity, universal health care, reproductive rights, education, etc. And, less government blowing up innocent men, women, and children. And, less government for the massive government prison state. And, the tax issue means absolutely nothing to me if printing press President Bush or his masters are in charge. Gee, print lots of dollars so we can compete with Vietnam or other Third World nations. Mind boggling stupidity (to work to destroy your own currency), but then on the brighter side a man like President Bush makes extreme wealth redistribution seem like the highest moral good. :)
Getting back to one of your earlier posts in this discussion, I got the impression that you were really asking whether guys are turned off by smart dancers. I don't really think so. In fact, it seems that many guys on this board say they appreciate intelligent conversation. As for me, I don't really care. I go for the private dances. If a girl is pretty and gives a good dance, I'm happy regardless of her IQ. Its neither a turn-off or a turn on to me.
Clubber: I somehow remember Bike Night at Hooters my freshman year being my most profitable night...lol. Well if you had biker gear on I would assume you aren't broke seeing as how your second vehicle (recreational if you will) starts out around 65,000. I would probably think you would either spend it or you wouldn't but which ever you chose it would not be easy to change your mind. LOL. So you are right most dancers wouldn't know but I would. [[and probably run and put on the Hooter's outfit I still have,the black one]] ;) This is fun I feel like we should all have happy hour together or something.
Intelligent conversation is a turn-on. The art is to manage a respectful conversation on a touchy subject. Politics, religion and race are touchy subjects, but if intelligent people can disagree without shouting, then it can be enlightening and fun. Topics that are downers: boyfriends, husbands, kids, no money in the club, drunk driving convictions. If the dancer is limited in her conversational skills, I try talking about shopping, clothes, clubs and movies. If a guy expects lively conversation from all women, he should read everything from the Wall Street Journal to Cosmo.
"...starts out around 65,000." I wouldn't think of spending that for a bike, unless you are talking Lira or Yens, etc. As they say HD stands fro Hundreds of Dollars! Now the Hooter's garb sounds nice. I wonder in anyone really thinks Hooter's has an owl theme?
OK this may sound totally pathalogical, but I'm new to this club thing. I don't go to clubs for stimulating conversation. It's just a place to go for entertainment. It's totally entertaining to go sit with a beautiful girl in your lap and pretend she's into you. What you talk about is all part of the package--it's all fantasy. If I wanted to hear the truth, I'd be her priest or counselor. I just want to play, and I'm willing to pay. Topics should be light and enjoyable, slightly suggestive, and optimally ending up in a trip to the VIP room. I've had some dances at my favorite club with my favorite dancer that when it was over i've burst out laughing and had to applaud her and say "That was just freaking' perfect!" And there is never a lot of serious conversation.
I avoid politics, religion, and ethic issues like the plague. I only need enough of my brain to work to know how to count, and recognize that a dancer may be trying to get over on me. I don't mind hearing a dancer's opinion, because as long as she gives me a good dance I don't care what her opinion is. If she were to question me and we knew each other to an extent I might answer the questions, but if she were a new dancer, as in new to me, then I would change the subject and/or inform her I prefer not to engage in heavy conversation.
PS: If an unknown dancer starts trying to pry financial information I would probably find another dancer.
PPS: When I said I don't care about the dancer's opinion; I am not saying it is not important. I am saying she is telling the wrong person at the wrong time. I do however engage in such conversations in the "real world*".
Real World: That place where if a lady is talking to me it is more because she wants to(without expecting compensation) than because she has to.
I MUCH prefer a real conversation about real topics. I find intelligence attractive. Problems would arise if:
1) Either one of us started to get judgmental ("you shouldn't cheat on your wife!" "You got a terrible boob job!"), or
2) Someone started getting defensive or didn't know how to have a pleasant conversation about a topic that people did not agree on.
I will talk about anything --no topics are taboo. Unfortunately, finding a dancer who feels the same way is really rare.
Not only in clubs, but it is a rare person that knows "how to have a pleasant conversation about a topic that people did not agree on." I feel I am one of those and I cherish finding someone like that. My ATF is one, and that is a large part of the attraction.
While waiting for the next song for a LD, the girl asked if I had any kids. Although I thought this would be a real turn off, I didn't mind telling her about my 4 kids and hearing about hers.
And as soon as the dance started, all thoughts of my kids or her kids vanished.
Overwhelmingly the strippers that I've met in person are easy to talk with. The dancer who went off the deep end about President Bush was the exception----other dancers would probably remain insouciant and shank the offending customer before departure. ;) Anyway, it was entertaining watching her get all worked up even as the customer apologized.
Do I respect dancer's opinions? Well, when a Noble prizing winning economist can write an article claiming free energy would have negligible economic consequences it kinda cements my thinking not to get all caught and wrapped in a person's degrees or awards or wealth. I try to judge the idea and not the messenger or the presentation. Of course, if a credentialed person makes some wacky claims and has a good track record, I do pay more attention. I remember these 2 doctors who were yapping about this "nut." The more positive doctor said given the "nut's" track record he was definitely an accomplished scientist who should be listened to. The other doctor bristled and went carrying on about the "nut" and how the "nut" should be ignored. The "nut" in question allegedly single handily discovered the science of DNA.
Clubber: I recently went with my step father to purchase a clock for his Harley and while browsing I was amazed at the pricing on those things. Either was I <3 Bikers! lol.
Jayray: I understand your point. I think maybe I am leaning more towards regulars on this issue because i rarely dance for new clients.
Hogsun: While valid, your question would have me sitting here for hours typing and I still have to hit a few other sites before I demolish margaritas at happy hour. I will just say it is not only a personal choice I feel defines a great part of my character but also almost invaluable tool vital to my everyday life.
Now starring: I really can't talk to someone I don't like, compensation or lack thereof. I am too blunt and to be honest my face will show my disapproval even if I keep my mouth shut. [[It's a curse and has cost me probably more money than I care to think about]] However I see where you are coming from.
Zorro: LOL!! I am right here! I like the way you put that.
Jablake: Even though it was perhaps a bad business move for her to get worked up like that, I think it's really sexy when someone is so passionate about their views and so do a few of my regulars lol. I would have like to be a fly on the wall.
You guys all need to go to Happy Hour today because I said so.
<3
He was still keenly interested in her. And, given the way she looked (looks are important to me) I definitely didn't blame him. Now, whether she wanted to continue selling him dances is another issue. Her body language seemed to be shouting HELL NO!!! Republicans need to keep the hands off this fine body or get whacked hard!!! :) It was if he had revealed that he was a baby killer or cannibal or reptilian or 3 headed monster.
After that I sure as heck wasn't going to admit to ever even voting for a Republican. If she wasn't so hot, then it is time to pull out and proudly wear an elephant button.
I generally prefer an emotional dancer unless she is looking at me like I'm evil incarnate . . .
Anna, you may have uncovered another element of this study of yours. You rarely dance for new clients--I don't readily make conversation with new dancers. I wonder why? I mean, my ATF was at one time a new dancer to me, right?
And if you rarely dance for new clients, how would I have a prayer of getting to be one (a new client)?
Jablake: As far as the girl that went off on your friend...I was having a bad night a year or so ago and this guy at the table we were sitting at kept making fun of my outfit. I finally snapped on him with a rant about how I hope he feels better about whatever pissed him off since he came in to pick on a stripper and blah blah with smart ass comments like wow you put me down that's so sweet you feel better about being an asshole and calling him insecure and ugh...it was bad. Funny thing is he asked me upstairs and he is one of my best clients EVER. Maybe he is into being abused or a freak I don't know but it surprised me I really expected him to go complain about me or ask me to get away from his table.
Jayray: Well, I didn't mean I don't talk to new guys. Most times I go to the club when called in by a regular. Then I sit at the bar and socialize a little. Adding to that is my reluctance to approach guys. I figure if you want me you will come talk to me. So that deducts about half the customers in the crowd who either think i am rude or are too shy. I'm not snobby but I am too proud to try and sell someone.
y very best client ever who I consider a friend.
Could also be that he was looking for genuineness.
Her long rant and his attempts to placate her were humorous. He said a couple of times that he was "cured" as if he'd caught a cold, but was better now. He agreed with that President Bush was the lowest of low and that the Republicans now meant nothing to her. We weren't buddies, but just had similar outlooks. For example, if more government is good, then there isn't any need for Republicans.
Every time I hear a Republican whining about how buying a majority doesn't work because they tried it and failed I feel like heaving until I'm spitting up nothing, but blood. Throwing away $50 million per missile blowing up schools or mosques in Afghan isn't going to buy a lot of votes. If vote buying is your gig, then try debt relief programs or universal health care or housing vouchers. I mean you wish to throw away money to buy votes, then at least use a modicum of intelligence when doing it.
(YES, the government has an unlimited spigot of money to throw away and NO it wouldn't necessarily harm future generations one iota. In fact, NOT throwing away the money may be what hurts future generations. The key is intelligent throwing away of money----yeah, difficult for politicians, but enough money gets thrown away some substantial good may get done.)
***I've heard all different numbers as to the price of these missiles. Whatever the price quoted, I sure as hell wouldn't trust the government to be anywhere near the truth. Just our neighbors and friends trying to do good by us---what a silly crock. :)
For me, I never like answering questions about my private life. "What do you do?" is reasonable, but beyond that, I feel like it gets intrusive, "Where in the city do you live?" "Are you married?" "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Leaving aside the fact that, If I *DID* have a wife/GF, talking to a stripper about it would make me feel guilty about cheating, I just feel that this is a bit intrusive.
I mean-- I wouldn't ever ask *HER* these things (particularly, where do you live, which would make me sound like a potential stalker). I guess I'd kind of like for her to show the same respect for my private life, as I would show for hers. But maybe I'm just kind of fussy?
Anna asked: "Here is something I wonder...do you guys think strippers can tell something about you based solely upon your appearance?"
I'm sure they can. I'm sure I project "Middle-class, middle-aged liberal white guy" pretty clearly. If they miss that, they need to refine their interpersonal skills a lot. :)
There is some good stuff here. I like to talk with a pretty lady and the conversation really matters not. Whatever it takes to keep one at my table. If she likes to be intellectual, I try my best to be that. If she prefers the dumb blonde role, who am I spoil the moment?
I have learned some things too: If the conversation drifts into oblivion, I could spice it up by getting her to try guessing my political affiliation or If we are playing dumb she could guess my favorite position, or I could try and guess her’s. Whatever it takes....eh!
Why do most guys go to strip clubs? I guess maybe to have fun. I go there because I’m shy. It is difficult for me to approach a lady. At a strip club, she approaches me. It is nice when she will sit and visit with me. LD’s are fun. My reason for getting one, now and then? If a girl is willing to spend time with me, chats me up, then I should get dances from her. This is how she makes her living. It is only fair that she gets fair pay for fair time.
If I go to a regular bar, try to meet someone, I’m shy about talking to girls. I don’t want them to think I am ‘Hitting’ on them, when really, that is exactly what want to do.
Do you see my dilemma?
At a strip club the girls, pretend to, hit on me. Even though I know they are pretending, it is fun being hit rather than hitting.
A sad thing I have learned: -I will never get a chance to meet the initiator of this blog even, by chance, I should stumble through the door one day. I won’t hit on her because...- shy and she won’t hit on me because... -new guy.
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I enjoy conversation with interesting people, and that includes those dancers who qualify for that description. As for talking about opinions, nothing is inherently off-limits, but I might steer the conversation away from controversial topics if it is obvious she and I would argue about something.
Welcome back!
1) If I ask you something personal like, why are you a Democrat? or why do you cheat on your wife? Can I pretty much give up the idea of you spending on me.
2) If you get to know a dancer and like what you find out...does that make it boring to get dances...would you be more likely not to try naughty stuff if you felt like you KNOW the girl...
I don't see any problem with you asking why I was a Republican, but if you asked why I'm a Democrat that might send me on a tirade. <just joking, the question is fine> I still remember this one dancer who went off the deep end because a favorite customer of her's admitted that before President Bush the youngster, he had been a loyal lifelong Republican. It didn't matter how many times the customer explained that he was no longer a Republican and didn't give a damn about the Republican party due to President Bush, the dancer was just fixated. Even when the customer said he was thinking of becoming a Democrat that didn't help. Later the customer joked with me that he didn't know it was a crime to be a Republican. I gave him the look and he understood that he was forever stained (he knew that I had been a Republican)----even voting straight Democrat couldn't save his soul.
The more I like the dancer generally the more I like the dances. However, dancers that I've known have a bad habit of refusing to do GFE if they get to actually like you. Also, finding GFE dancers seems like winning a real raise. Given the emotionally desperate and dumb customers it is easy to see why dancers more often than not Just Say NO to GFE.
I have no problem voicing my opinion on any subject simply because it is easier than trying to lie or playing dumb(which I feel I am incapable of)
The whole thing is I have sat with a customer before and hit it off so well it made the dancing awkward...like he felt I was his equal in some way and that made it difficult for him to demean me...which makes me wonder if men secretly want a dumbass...
In a club I really don't like to discuss my work. Some men are defined by their professions, I'm not. I'm very successful at my work, but I'm a writer at heart and I'd prefer to talk about that-without the dancer thinking it's how I make my money.
My best ATF and I shared a love of older movies. We discussed our passion before and after, and sometimes during our lovemaking sessions.
for me, i prefer staying away from...
- questions about my relationship status and why it is the way it is. why am i single? does it matter? do i have kids? ( do i ask about your boyfriend?)
- where i work. we can talk about what i do, but not the location. it makes me edgy. like you may come see me
- why i am at a club on a nite like tonite. im coming in to discuss the merits of schubert vs handel? no.
- why you found religion/buddha/jesus. you found spirituality? awesom. what does it mean to you? even better. that you found it strung out on meth while your 3 month old was crying? buzzkill.
- the worst? dont dominate the conversation. ask questions. listen. dont be like my ex girlfriend who talked to much. theres a reason shes an ex.
For me, the conversation can be stimulating, but I want it to be a conversation I could basically have with anyone.
The other thing I don't really care to hear about right before a lap dance is her kids. I once had a dancer who apparently was new to dancing. She decided to kill a few minutes before starting to dance for me by telling me about her family and her kids. They were for instance age 3, 4, and 5. She started giving me more personal information then she started dancing. She had me thinking about her kids and that turned me off. I wanted to focus on her so that was a bit of a turnoff right before she danced for me. Now if she had waited until after the dance was over it wouldn't have bothered me. Reminding me about reality and/or kids before a lap dance is not a turn on. I usually don't discuss boyfriends, husbands etc. before a lap dance either. Actually not much at all. I may still have some hangups with getting a high contact lap dance with a married dancer so if I knew ahead of time, I'd probably tell her no thanks when she asked to give me a lap dance. However I did agree to get a lap dance from one dancer when I believe we were both slightly intoxicated. She told me she was married but that her husband was ok with her dancing just as she was taking me in the back room for the dances. I prefer single girls if it's a high contact club even though I know some dancers don't seem to care. If it's not a high contact club, I don't care if they are married or not. I don't really to hear about a boyfriend or husband right before a dancer dances for me. Talking about kids, boyfriends, etc. right before dancing I think is a turn off. I don't care if she talks about that after she dances.
I prefer dancers not get in arguments with me either. I don't enjoy going to strip clubs to argue with people. I may not have a problem with it online but I see strip clubs as a chance to have some fun and I don't go to argue with dancers about why I should get a dance. One dancer actually argued with me for 15 minutes. I left her at the table and wasn't happy with her. Trying to talk me into a dance for 30 seconds and either leaving or just sitting with me and changing the subject I'm ok with.
If I like a dancer a lot more topics are open for discussion in my opinion.
Let me give an example...
If you are at a table with a friend and I join you two...let's say we are talking about the super bowl and you say the Steelers were the better team overall. I could say:
1) He he I like the Steelers...the uniform is a like awesome color!!! You are sooo right.
or
2) Well, I think Arizona was the better team in the Super Bowl however hampered by penalties and overall statistically speaking the Cardinals are a better team overall. Not that it matters because I am a Saints fan haha like we will ever see a Super Bowl...I wish.
I mean you would either be thinking you hate me or let me have an opinion...not like arguing but I am not going to agree with everything you say...
the overall thing I am curious about is if you treat smart girls different than push overs or dumb ones I guess.
That is the objective? More than a few times dancers have told that the reason to go to a stripclub is to buy dances. The dancers were actually shocked when I said NO that doesn't need to be the reason. A customer may plainly state and even believe that they want to have fun, but that may not be the case. Perhaps the customer needs to get even with all those women who rejected him over the years or who refused to put out on the first date.
Maybe the reference was just to customers whose objective is to have fun. . . . I've knew a violent man whose idea of fun was inflicting extreme pain and seeing misery----my judgment of him to his dismay was that he was garbage. To my surprise he was opposed to all homicide and placed a high value on human life. Life being the key for whatever reason. Also, to my surprise he enjoyed being subject to extreme pain (broken bones/wounds that require stitches/burns). The pain whether it was his or some unwilling victim was very positive in his mind.
I guess there is no shortage of cookie cutter people who basically conform to reasonable stereotypes. The dancer is just interested in money. The john just wants to demean the prostitute. The feminist hates men. The Christian loathes sex except for procreation. I know a guy who believes that if a trait is prevalent among 60% or more of a population then it should to save time/make money be applied to the whole. Thus, if 60% of Jews are stupid that gets converted into 100% are stupid. He thinks everyone should think like that because it is reality.
The GOD of appropriate conversation in my all knowing opinion is Dale Carnegie.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-In…
Dancers who wish to make money and live much happier lives should, imo, read this book a minimum of 10 times and try to apply the lessons. This one gentleman that I knew became enraged when I mentioned that was one of my favorite books. He considered himself to be the all knowing expert on Dale Carnegie and I definitely wasn't a Carnegie person. :) To clarify somewhat, I had no interest in being a Carnegie person; now, if money and happiness are the end all be all then yes being a Carnegie person is definitely recommended.
My neighbor came to chew me out yesterday. He was yapping about property values in the neighborhood. He wants high values. I want low values (if I'm staying). When he heard that I wanted low values his reaction is anger. I'd rather see him happy assuming that I don't get screwed in the process. Anyway, he says that it is unfair for me to lower his property values. And, I have no problem with that line of thinking except that he has no concern about me or anyone else generally so why should I care about his property values??? Every time he mentioned community I cringed. How is there any type of community when he only cares about himself? And, that is a fine way of thinking if I'm allowed the same courtesy. The fuzzy wuzzy point of this minor digression is that money doesn't need to the main focal point and just because a person yaps their head off about you being charitable doesn't mean they're even willing to give a penny to a good charity.
You asked: "would you be more likely not to try naughty stuff if you felt like you KNOW the girl..."
The answer to this is negative. Actually, I don't "try" naughty stuff. As Yoda said, "Do. Or do not. There is no try." In the context of getting naughty with a dancer, that must include her willingness (and hopefully her desire) to participate in the naughtiness, of course. So, if she's interesting (as I prefer), I want to KNOW her in the conventional since, even as I may want the "know" her in the biblical sense...
I'm probably also not interested in topical conversation, ie. politics, the economy, philosophy. I'm just not interested in a stripper's comments on these topics.
I prefer keeping it to cocktail-party banter, really. "Have you been to the new whatever?" That kind of thing.
O.
Jablake: I would like to believe every man that chooses to spend his time/money at a strip club has having fun as the main objective...I'm sorry some girls are so self-absorbed they think it is just about dances...maybe that's just the mentality they have with dancing. I know when I take my friends to a strip club I want to have fun and when I dance at a club...I do it for that same reason. It is fun. It's a choice not a requirement...it can be the most fun job ever.
how: Frankie was my very first stage name and I still love it but can't keep cringing every time I see it on here...lol. It's Anna or Frankie...small stuff. :)
The reason I said less likely to try naughty stuff is sometimes customers that know me are intimidated to try fun things and later when I bring it up as a question "Do I not make you want to....?" the response is always "I always have but I thought you would slap me." or " I didn't think you would go for that. " As a kinda experiment...new guys I didn't really seem interesting to and played blank expressions with were acting all grab ass before we even went to VIP. When I apply to graduate school I want to use some of these situations and just wanted input.
Body Language?
Because I live in Miami it is normal for me to come in contact with people from all over. I'll never forget the young man from rural Nebraska or Iowa. What a trip. I'd swear he was a Martian because he was so out of place in the big bad city. A true Mr. Innocent looking for a little sinful fun. And, HEAVEN that only cost I think it was $400 just for the girl. If you live in the middle of nowhere that is a good way to save the dollars.
From meeting all these different people, I get a very strong sense that their belief system may be totally insane and also that people have different needs and values. In my immediate local area Saddam could probably easily defeat President Bush in an election. What does that mean? The people love Saddam? Hate President Bush? Hate Republicans? Heck, could be any combination. Maybe it means this local area has a lot of refugees from a Iraq that have moved-in to flee all the horrors rained down upon them. Sorta like the communist and loyal Soviet who I had lunch with. She was a civil engineer (so much for logic) and was convinced the Soviet Union was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Other people that I met from the Soviet Union thought of it as a giant prison and they'd love to get their hands or more likely a rope around such a former "comrade."
Anyway, seems like body language is a pretty good guide to communication with these different people as well as LISTENING. A person from Canada who thinks Canada is a 100 times better than the U.S. is unlikely to change his mind after he's experienced both countries. Why fight the issue unless his body language gives you a flashing neon red HELL YES!!!!!!! :) Besides the body language remember the maxim that opinions are like assholes . . . iows, don't get bent out of shape because an imbecile or genius doesn't respect you for whatever his prejudice is.
Some here say they are a Republican or democrat. I prefer to say I am a conservative.
Some on TUSCL have knocked the moral principals of conservatives because they are telling them how they should live. I'd rather someone follow someones moral guidelines then a liberals telling EVERYTHING I must do. What I can drive, what my thermostat must be set on, what I may eat, etc. They wish to control my entire life is seems, other than being moral. Funny how many think that is the worst that can happen to them, being moral.
Yes, morality like that of President Bush seems pretty damn disgusting. I'd rather have some liberals tell me and other supposed "conservatives" what I can drive, what my thermostat must be set on, etc. This morality filth is even worse when it is mixed with their God and their teachings and their arrogance and their prisons and their hatred.
Now, if President Bush's morality was applied against his supporters by an omnipotent being or nation, well that right like seems to be a reaping o what you sow. A little old fashioned conservatism----not this new crapola which just seems like stunted liberalism.
I will just say that as a College Republican it took me 3 years to convert my Grampa, who lives in East Texas where he runs a farm, from voting Democratic to republican. He held every belief of the party but had "heard" from friends family and co-workers all his life that conservatives were all about the rich and democrats the poor. It was so crazy to me he had no factual basis for his disapproval other than the nightly news and gossip among old people. Perfect example of society today, still too lazy to research for themselves.
I have worked at law firms with attorneys having what I called bi-polar party disorder to pick on them. Defending criminals all day they would curse the Republican Judges...then at 5pm (more like 3pm) take off to that same Judge's house to play golf and drink Scotch singing the praises of Bush. Lol. Anyways what I learned is there is a big gray area.
In defense of the former President...he governed my state for 2 terms before he was your President for another 2 and I couldn't be happier with his legacy here (especially tax free weekend shopping).
ANYWAYS...seriously I can have a civil discussion and have many times about politics in strip clubs...in fact, I won my most generous regular customers over with it.
Here is something I wonder...do you guys think strippers can tell something about you based solely upon your appearance? Lol...I have been known to bet money I can spot an attorney or a Republican and can usually predict IT Professional or Medical Professionals but not well enough to risk money on it... have you ever had a dancer just guess something about you? We have really refined interpersonal skills...well some of us.
Now I need a drink...
<3
A dancer can usually tell a lot about me by appearance. Most times I visit a club, I am on my bike, ergo, biker clothes. Of course even biker garb doesn't say a lot. Unless up close, they wouldn't know if I were a 1% or not, or other things about me. Only easy to guess I ride a bike. The main thing dancers don't know, is how much I have to spend on them.
If it were true that Republicans were all about the rich and democrats the poor, then then my initial knee jerk reaction would be in favor of the Republicans. The reason being the ideal that the Republicans were all about the rich in order to create wealth. I get a little sick about hearing "jobs, jobs, jobs" as if jobs are good in and of themselves. What created wealth (besides massive fraud and money creation) was technology that eliminated jobs---kill the stinking jobs, but it such a way as to produce more!
Under President Bush, Republicans seem to stand for ever more government. Wonderful. However, if more government is the ticket then it is more government of the Democratic kind that needs to be shoved down people's throats. You know busy bodies for gun control, equal opportunity, universal health care, reproductive rights, education, etc. And, less government blowing up innocent men, women, and children. And, less government for the massive government prison state. And, the tax issue means absolutely nothing to me if printing press President Bush or his masters are in charge. Gee, print lots of dollars so we can compete with Vietnam or other Third World nations. Mind boggling stupidity (to work to destroy your own currency), but then on the brighter side a man like President Bush makes extreme wealth redistribution seem like the highest moral good. :)
"Is that a wedding ring?"
"Does your wife know you come to strip clubs?"
"My boyfriend carries a Glock pistol in his waistband."
"...starts out around 65,000." I wouldn't think of spending that for a bike, unless you are talking Lira or Yens, etc. As they say HD stands fro Hundreds of Dollars! Now the Hooter's garb sounds nice. I wonder in anyone really thinks Hooter's has an owl theme?
PS: If an unknown dancer starts trying to pry financial information I would probably find another dancer.
PPS: When I said I don't care about the dancer's opinion; I am not saying it is not important. I am saying she is telling the wrong person at the wrong time. I do however engage in such conversations in the "real world*".
Real World: That place where if a lady is talking to me it is more because she wants to(without expecting compensation) than because she has to.
1) Either one of us started to get judgmental ("you shouldn't cheat on your wife!" "You got a terrible boob job!"), or
2) Someone started getting defensive or didn't know how to have a pleasant conversation about a topic that people did not agree on.
I will talk about anything --no topics are taboo. Unfortunately, finding a dancer who feels the same way is really rare.
Zorro
Not only in clubs, but it is a rare person that knows "how to have a pleasant conversation about a topic that people did not agree on." I feel I am one of those and I cherish finding someone like that. My ATF is one, and that is a large part of the attraction.
And as soon as the dance started, all thoughts of my kids or her kids vanished.
Do I respect dancer's opinions? Well, when a Noble prizing winning economist can write an article claiming free energy would have negligible economic consequences it kinda cements my thinking not to get all caught and wrapped in a person's degrees or awards or wealth. I try to judge the idea and not the messenger or the presentation. Of course, if a credentialed person makes some wacky claims and has a good track record, I do pay more attention. I remember these 2 doctors who were yapping about this "nut." The more positive doctor said given the "nut's" track record he was definitely an accomplished scientist who should be listened to. The other doctor bristled and went carrying on about the "nut" and how the "nut" should be ignored. The "nut" in question allegedly single handily discovered the science of DNA.
Clubber: I recently went with my step father to purchase a clock for his Harley and while browsing I was amazed at the pricing on those things. Either was I <3 Bikers! lol.
Jayray: I understand your point. I think maybe I am leaning more towards regulars on this issue because i rarely dance for new clients.
Hogsun: While valid, your question would have me sitting here for hours typing and I still have to hit a few other sites before I demolish margaritas at happy hour. I will just say it is not only a personal choice I feel defines a great part of my character but also almost invaluable tool vital to my everyday life.
Now starring: I really can't talk to someone I don't like, compensation or lack thereof. I am too blunt and to be honest my face will show my disapproval even if I keep my mouth shut. [[It's a curse and has cost me probably more money than I care to think about]] However I see where you are coming from.
Zorro: LOL!! I am right here! I like the way you put that.
Jablake: Even though it was perhaps a bad business move for her to get worked up like that, I think it's really sexy when someone is so passionate about their views and so do a few of my regulars lol. I would have like to be a fly on the wall.
You guys all need to go to Happy Hour today because I said so.
<3
After that I sure as heck wasn't going to admit to ever even voting for a Republican. If she wasn't so hot, then it is time to pull out and proudly wear an elephant button.
I generally prefer an emotional dancer unless she is looking at me like I'm evil incarnate . . .
And if you rarely dance for new clients, how would I have a prayer of getting to be one (a new client)?
Jayray: Well, I didn't mean I don't talk to new guys. Most times I go to the club when called in by a regular. Then I sit at the bar and socialize a little. Adding to that is my reluctance to approach guys. I figure if you want me you will come talk to me. So that deducts about half the customers in the crowd who either think i am rude or are too shy. I'm not snobby but I am too proud to try and sell someone.
y very best client ever who I consider a friend.
Her long rant and his attempts to placate her were humorous. He said a couple of times that he was "cured" as if he'd caught a cold, but was better now. He agreed with that President Bush was the lowest of low and that the Republicans now meant nothing to her. We weren't buddies, but just had similar outlooks. For example, if more government is good, then there isn't any need for Republicans.
Every time I hear a Republican whining about how buying a majority doesn't work because they tried it and failed I feel like heaving until I'm spitting up nothing, but blood. Throwing away $50 million per missile blowing up schools or mosques in Afghan isn't going to buy a lot of votes. If vote buying is your gig, then try debt relief programs or universal health care or housing vouchers. I mean you wish to throw away money to buy votes, then at least use a modicum of intelligence when doing it.
(YES, the government has an unlimited spigot of money to throw away and NO it wouldn't necessarily harm future generations one iota. In fact, NOT throwing away the money may be what hurts future generations. The key is intelligent throwing away of money----yeah, difficult for politicians, but enough money gets thrown away some substantial good may get done.)
***I've heard all different numbers as to the price of these missiles. Whatever the price quoted, I sure as hell wouldn't trust the government to be anywhere near the truth. Just our neighbors and friends trying to do good by us---what a silly crock. :)
Leaving aside the fact that, If I *DID* have a wife/GF, talking to a stripper about it would make me feel guilty about cheating, I just feel that this is a bit intrusive.
I mean-- I wouldn't ever ask *HER* these things (particularly, where do you live, which would make me sound like a potential stalker). I guess I'd kind of like for her to show the same respect for my private life, as I would show for hers. But maybe I'm just kind of fussy?
I'm sure they can. I'm sure I project "Middle-class, middle-aged liberal white guy" pretty clearly. If they miss that, they need to refine their interpersonal skills a lot. :)
I have learned some things too: If the conversation drifts into oblivion, I could spice it up by getting her to try guessing my political affiliation or If we are playing dumb she could guess my favorite position, or I could try and guess her’s. Whatever it takes....eh!
Why do most guys go to strip clubs? I guess maybe to have fun. I go there because I’m shy. It is difficult for me to approach a lady. At a strip club, she approaches me. It is nice when she will sit and visit with me. LD’s are fun. My reason for getting one, now and then? If a girl is willing to spend time with me, chats me up, then I should get dances from her. This is how she makes her living. It is only fair that she gets fair pay for fair time.
If I go to a regular bar, try to meet someone, I’m shy about talking to girls. I don’t want them to think I am ‘Hitting’ on them, when really, that is exactly what want to do.
Do you see my dilemma?
At a strip club the girls, pretend to, hit on me. Even though I know they are pretending, it is fun being hit rather than hitting.
A sad thing I have learned: -I will never get a chance to meet the initiator of this blog even, by chance, I should stumble through the door one day. I won’t hit on her because...- shy and she won’t hit on me because... -new guy.