tuscl

Question for guys who have sex with sex workers

Tuesday, July 8, 2008 7:35 PM
This is just for guys who have any kind of sex for pay, whether ITC, OTC, with a stripper, amp girl or escort (or all of the above). I'm deliberately NOT including paying for regular lapdances; I'm talking about paying for some form of sexual service. Also, I'm not including folks who spend money for non-sexual services (like having a non-sexual companion). Here's the question: how much do you think you spend on this particular activity, on either a monthly or annual basis? I'm looking at my accounts and wondering if I'm spending too little, too much or average. We've all heard of the weird Eliot Spitzer situation where he spent $80K in a year; presumably no one here is going that wild. But I'm wondering what most guys who screw around regularly are spending. P.S. By spending I would include what you also have to spend on incidentals, such as meals, hotels, travel, etc. If you get relatively cheap pussy at a particular club but spend $500 a month for a road trip to get there, then please include that in the total.

28 comments

  • shadowcat
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    16 years ago
    Once a month for over 6 years I drive 240 miles to my favorite club for a 2 night/3 day stay. Gas) $80.00 Hotel) $60.00/night + taxes Food) $7.00 to $25 per day depending on my mood Admission) zero. I have a life time membership. Drinks) around $30 per day Dancer drinks) around $30 per day Tips) to door girl, bar tenders, waitresses $20 per day. Lap dances) This can vary a lot depending on how many I get. With a very few exceptions, I always get 2 for $20. I guess that I average $250 per day. HJ's) $20-40 BJ's) $40-80 FS) when I can get it ITC or OTC $100-150. I guess the bottom line to be between $1,000 and $1,200. I don't spend less than the rest of you. I just get more for it. I don't do escorts or AMP's or street walkers. I am a happy camper.
  • njscfan
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    16 years ago
    Shadowcat Although using a completely different approach, I'm spending a very similar amount per month. For that I am getting 4 or 5 sessions of sex each one lasting about 2-3 hours. It sounds like a totally different experience than what you are aiming for, the but cost is remarkably similar.
  • shadowcat
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    16 years ago
    I left out stage tipping. $20-$40 per day. On my last day I spent less then $10 because one of my favorites and StripShopper kept me so occupied that I forgot that they were there.
  • Dudester
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    16 years ago
    As a principle (it's a therapy thing-wants-needs), I will do one of two things, spend 5-600 bucks three times a year, or 300 four times a year (depends on circumstances). Disclaimer: because my former ATF only charged me 220, and really liked what we did, it was a once a month thing for about a year. My fave clubs, a mile apart, are only about 15 minutes from home (and five minutes from work).
  • jablake
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    16 years ago
    It is very difficult to say because I'm buying dances or time and if she chooses to do more or not is fine with me. I'm not pushing for extras at all. Sometimes the dancer feels like doing more and sometimes she doesn't. No pattern that I've seen. The only thing is a few dancers try and get specific, but that doesn't make sense to me. For example, if she says $20 for a BJ---it may only be worth a couple dollars to me if she is able to excite me too quickly. Also, I've noticed the dancer either needs to be into it or a good actress. One hottie was rushing and got completely dejected when I told her that even if I came early, which I didn't care about at all, that I expected her to stay the full hour (actually I've had to explain this concept to a few dancers). It was supposed to be $20 and she says I'm not working a full hour of sex for $20. I say this had nothing to do with that. You can sit and talk with me for the $20. She says she'd rather work?! Wow, I didn't realize I was that bad. She explained that it was easy for her to work than to try and talk with me. She actually worked hard for an entire hour and really did a great job going very slow and keeping constantly excited. I gave her $40 and she was very surprised and very happy. I said to her are you sure you wouldn't have rather just talked for an hour---you know it could have been any subject that you like. She shakes her head NO and says it is way more work to talk than just keep me excited. She said white people were usually crazy anyway so talking with a white customer just didn't interest her, but that maybe she would try a little at a time and see how it works. :) Oh, I had to drive her home which was at least 10 miles away---that was part of the deal. Figure total cost at about $60 ($40 + $20 for driving/gas/etc.). I have more expensive as well, but usually I try and keep the price very low within my wimpy budget.
  • MisterGuy
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    16 years ago
    I currently budget about $900/month for strip clubbing, which includes all dances, "extras", tips, drinks, and cover charges. Meals for me wouldn't be more than $20 per strip clubing trip (2-4 clubs) for me, which is about once a month or so these days. Gas? I don't even wanna think about that... A full AMP experience can be had, IMO, for less than $250.
  • carteblanche
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    16 years ago
    What do you do for a living?
  • DickJohnson
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    16 years ago
    usually I blow thru about 40-160 a year. This is due to how ruff I am on my blow up doll and whether or not I pop a few in the course of a year. depends.
  • CarolinaWanderer
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    16 years ago
    The nearest clubs or spa for me are 50-80 miles away, each trip winds up costing $30-50 for gas. I have 4 spas and 4 clubs in that area where I expect fs or bj. I usually spend $200 on a good day and $300 on a bad day. So an average month I spend $350-$500. Total about $5g a year or 1/2 or my gambling budget.
  • shadowcat
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    16 years ago
    I did a smart thing today. I went to my primary M.D. Among other things, I had him do tests for HIV. I hope I feel better about this next week when the results come back. DickJohnson: what are you doing on here? You are not a player. My gasoline bill exceeds that every month. CarolinaWanderer: What king of gas hog do you drive? I drive a Ford Ranger with a 4.0 engine and manual 5 speed transmition. I get 21-22/mph depending on my speed with is usually 10/mph over the limit. Bet I can blow you off the road. Yes I do have some extras.
  • chitownlawyer
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    16 years ago
    About a year ago, I started to transition from frequent (weekly or more) local strip club trips to two day long trips to Tijuana. After my first trip to TJ, it became increasingly more difficult to go to non-brothel strip clubs (I was always interested in the extras anyway). Of course, going to TJ means flying. My average total tab for a TJ trip, assuming that I cannot combine it with business or some other trip, is $1000 to $1200. I try to go every three months. Of that total charge, about half is travel and hotel, and the other half is bar fees for the girl and "fichas", or drinks you are expected to buy for the girls. I went last week during a trip to Northern California, and the total damage was about $625.00, so that pulled down my average expenditure. I would estimate my total expenditure this year will be about $4,500, half for sex, and half for getting to the sex. I still go to my local strip club, but only about once a month, and on average spend less than $100 per visit. I used to spend $225-250 per visit.
  • njscfan
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    16 years ago
    shadowcat You can get a completely free HIV test in any clinic and you can get the results in a matter of minutes. If you are having unprotected sex I would recommend doing it (getting tested that is) on a semi-regular basis.
  • CarolinaWanderer
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    16 years ago
    "CarolinaWanderer: What king of gas hog do you drive?" GMC Envoy, Automatic, 5.3L engine, 8 cylinders, 4WD, EPA mileage 13/18, 330 torque@4000rpm, 300 horsepower@5200rpm, top speed 137 mph. "Bet I can blow you off the road." I don't think so.
  • MisterGuy
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    16 years ago
    What a couple of rubes...
  • Yoda
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    16 years ago
    I wouldn't worry too much about what idiots like Spitzer spend, they are over paying. Both of my ATF escorts are better looking than the chick that Spitzer got caught with, much more discrete and about $300 an hour! Add to that the fact that they are both great in the sack and it's a win/win for me! How much you spend is not as important as being IN CONTROL of how much you spend. I book a two hour appointment, get a room, go out to dinner with the lady either before or after the "main event" and hang out for a bit as well. I am actually spending four or five hours with the lady and paying for two so the ROI is pretty darn good. I do this once or twice a month depending on how busy I am and where I am traveling for work (one of the girls is in South Jersey/Philly. I spend about $300 to $500 on a strip club visit so obviously seeing an escort costs more.
  • CarolinaWanderer
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    16 years ago
    Main Entry: rube Pronunciation: \ˈrüb\ Function: noun Etymology: Rube, nickname for Reuben Date: 1891 1 : an awkward unsophisticated person : rustic 2 : a naive or inexperienced person MrGie am I a rube 1 or a rube 2? I am coordinated, have visited 12 different countries and most state, so I assume I am naive to think there is good in every person. On the other hand I have 30+ years experience in my chosen profession (which is not the law) and 30+ years as a hobbiest. Could you please clarify your statement. (BTW, ignore odes not work until you log in, so some asinine comments cannot be avoided.) Asinine Main Entry: as·i·nine Pronunciation: \ˈa-sə-ˌnīn\ Function: adjective Etymology: Latin asininus, from asinus ass Date: 15th century 1 : extremely or utterly foolish <an asinine poster> 2 : of, relating to, or resembling an ass I apply both to you, sir.
  • shadowcat
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    16 years ago
    Carolinawonder: was just kidding but I bet you I could give you a race. If i lose I will borrow my son's Subru STR STI 300 stock. he has spent $9,00 to upgrade to 450/mph,to upgrade it. He says says when he gets tired of that, he is going to upgrade to nitrosgin Yeah I know SP occtcain . NOW that would scare the shit out of me. "600 mph.< Hue has triew ri tlk m nto gttbmy rsbger
  • MisterGuy
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    16 years ago
    CarolinaWanderer, both you and old scat are rubes (unsophisticated country people)...and you both know it...enjoy that 13 mpg boy... "BTW, ignore odes not work until you log in" I'm sorry, and that's my problem because why?? Grow a thicker skin boy...
  • shadowcat
    •
    16 years ago
    ngscfan, I have been feeling really run down for the past two weeks. I went to the doc's last week to find out why. He doesn't know why for sure. He is treating me for symptoms. Not causes. 3 RX's. The Meds seem to be working. I told him about my unprotected sex with a couple of strippers and he agreed that I should get tested along with my other blood work. I feel well enough now to make my monthly trip to my favorite club. I have adequate insurance to cover the costs. I just don't understand our new insurance policy. I have a debit card to pay the fees. But this last week I got refund checks from my insurance carrier and my normal M.D. totaling about $900.00. That should make the strippers happy.
  • Book Guy
    •
    16 years ago
    I think we need to abandon the rube/maroon commentary. As to the original question: too much. I spend way too much. I was up around $1000 or $1500 a month when I was unhappy, as a maximum; and as a minimum, I can (if I try really hard) get down to zero for a month but the preceding and succeeding months will each be in the $600 range, so that averages to $400 a month. Since I've redeveloped a plan and gotten a "future" for myself (guys might remember, I'm considering attending law school in the near future and perhaps actually getting a career, for a change) I've spent less, and wanted to spend less. I also note that I get less positive interchange with the dancers. When I was desperate and needy and essentially "just another dope," girls knew how to make me feel better. "It's OK that you're bald and short and unemployed, I love you" was their message. But now that I can kind of talk like a "real man" with some honesty ("no, this IS what I want to do, and NO, I don't think it's boring, and really, it's kind of exciting to be planning ahead ..." etc.) there's a kind of disconnect. They get dismissive and arrogant with me, "why does he think HE'S so great" is their message. This in turn fuels my interest in finding REAL rather than stripper-imaginary friends. So having a "future" is a good thing on a lot of counts. I really wish I could GET LAID like I can sign up for a future. If I could, I'd have to say that I would be abandoning the strip-club route to friendship, and (more in spirit of the original question) the AMP route to fucking. I really feel "driven to" or "forced into" being a customer of a sex-services provider. I can't get girls in any other manner, and they're such cunts about deliberately mistreating the men who wish to treat them well, that I don't really miss the game all that much. But I do have in my mind's eye an imaginary world where I'm actually valued and treated well by females on the basis of my desirability as a human. This fantasy just won't go away ... not yet ... So, to answer tersely: between $400 and $1500, depending on how depressed I am about my "future." Depression = spending. Optimism = saving.
  • BobbyI
    •
    16 years ago
    I'm about as bad as BG. $400 to $1500/month with high variance sounds about right for me too. Unlike BG, I think I'm more likely to spend if I am feeling relatively "up". Then I really just don't worry about it, or what they think of the fact that I am spending, etc. When I am feeling "down" I will spend less, b/c, at those times, I find paying for sex actually makes me feel worse not better. (I think this is the opposite of most people and the normal way certainly used to be my MO.) I don't know about the disconnect with strippers of when you are feeling relatively PL'ish versus relatively "real man"ly. As long you have the money, it doesn't matter, and they seem equally good at working it either way. Conversely when you don't have the money the strippers will be nowhere to be found, whether you feel like a winner or PL at the moment. In any case, I always feel a huge disconnect between myself and nearly all the girls. I have no idea how they can view the world the way they do, and they same the same way about the way I view it. Sex for money is the only connection we can really make. Thank god!
  • Book Guy
    •
    16 years ago
    Actually, we're very similar. Paying for sex makes me feel worse, not better, too. And, whether I have the money or not makes me decide whether or not to monger, too. Not whether or not I feel "real man" like, though I can rationalize it that way sometimes. :P
  • ozymandias
    •
    16 years ago
    I don't go to SCs lately because I've developed a network of "escorts" and dancers I can fuck pretty much whenever, usually for $100-$150 per hour, depending. My current thing is a pair of dancers (two girls from Strokers in ATL) who are girlfriends/roommates, and we play together about once a week, so that's about $200/week. So I probably spend $10-12k per year. I used to spend far more, before I was more settled. I'd say my spending peak was probably 2000-2004, since I had a heavy cash side business which was pretty lucrative, but which faded after '04 due to changing market conditions and technology. I'm guessing I spent $75k/year during that period. It seems crazy, but wow, what a blast - that was a mix of SCs, partying with dancers, AMPS and escorts. And I lived! Since I "discovered" strip clubs in 1989, and "pay for play" in 1991, I've probably spent $500k+ easily... Frankly, golf still costs more, though. O.
  • Shekitout
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    16 years ago
    Rube: Anyone that prefers to drive a truck no matter how frugal it might be on gas.
  • chandler
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    16 years ago
    A question for guys who feel worse after paying for sex: Why do it? It's the reason I don't. I've tried it and concluded it's not my cup of tea.
  • BobbyI
    •
    16 years ago
    Again, it's only when I'm feeling especially glum that it makes me feel worse. Otherwise it's good fun. I guess one is not always able to guess ones true mood before hand, so accidents (and wasted money) happen. But after a while, one definitely learns there are times to avoid paying for it.
  • Book Guy
    •
    16 years ago
    Why pay for sex, if paying for sex makes you feel bad about yourself? Because you (or, at least, *I*) feel worse about yourself if you DON'T get sex. Paying is the lesser of two evils. The drive for sex is normal and adult and human; the need to pay for it is a negative outgrowth of social pressures, recent puritanical mores, bitchy women who would rather be self-involved and misleading and controlling (themselves products of social pressures and puritanical mores), and a whole panoply of other societal factors. The need for sex without having any option for access to it, other than paying for it, means you pay for it. Forced into it: period.
  • ozymandias
    •
    16 years ago
    Things I'm willing to pay for: Maid service Lawncare Medical Expertise Live Entertainment (music, plays, etc) Sex And so on... It's just another service IMHO. O.
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