Which route would you choose? (Columbia, MO to Bend, OR)

I did Independence, MO to Oregon once in a covered wagon, but I died of dysentery

Since the pandemic I have driven from Massachusetts to Colorado and back twice and to Big Sky Montana and back. I've also been to Bend three times, once to hike and twice to ski. Been to Grand Junction. Nothing to see Imo. Nebraska is a more boring drive than Kansas. If you like remote, wild scenery, drive through Kansas. If you like flat as a pancake, drive Nebraska. If you golf, Wild Horse, right off 80 in central Nebraska, might be one of the 5 best public golf courses in the country. It's a Sandhill knock off and Sandhill is top one hundred on the planet.
We prefer Wyoming because you stand a better chance of seeing amazing wildlife on the side of the road. We've seen Deer, Buffalo, Moose, Elk, Antelopes, Big Horn Sheep, Eagles.... Off Route 80, near the Utah border is a place called flaming gorge. It is incredible. The reflection of the multi-colored walls of the Gorge off the blue of the water is stunning. Also, near Dinosaur National Monument if you're into that kind of thing.
If we were going, we'd leave Flaming Gorge and head North on 191 and go through Jackson Hole, the Tetons and Yellowstone into Montana. It might be the best scenery on earth. We'd pick up I-90 in Montana and continue.
It can snow at any time, but you're probably safe and we drove to Colorado in February 2023 and Montana in February 2021, able to avoid tragedy. Three things to understand. If you have never driven out west, you don't understand the true meaning of vast. Expect up to 3 hours of no cell phone at times. We once drove 3 hours in eastern Oregon without cel service and without seeing another car, road, sign, person or anything other than nothing. Make sure you have gas. Get stuck on the shoulder of the road, it might be hours before help.
Its great to drive as fast as you want. At night there is no one there except animals. In the east Deer are the biggest thing you can hit. In the west, they are closer to the smallest. You will drive slower than you think. Wind will be your biggest problem. In Wyoming we were driving downhill at about 85, a tractor trailer was coming uphill. The wind blew the trailer across the road. Driver made an incredible save, we missed it by maybe 5". Just be careful and take the mountain road. The scenery in Montana and Idaho is jaw dropping.
Restaurants and Gas Stations - very few. Never let your tank have less than 175 miles of range. You can find great food at gas stations. They are the center of society out in the rural west. Altitude will mess with your digestive system. Enjoy burping and ....

From a strip club perspective, you'll be driving through the desert. Denver so-so, Salt Lake and Boise grim, Bend even worse.

Maybe consider south to Dallas, El Paso (if you like it really dirty), then Tucson, Phoenix, City of Industry; possible detour to Tijuana; then not much worthwhile until Springfield, OR.

But maybe some gems I don't know about?

The Rockies are by far the worst strip club region in the country. Remote, rural and poor.

It's been a while since I've been to Wyoming, but Laramie had some good restaurants (college town.) Don't bother with either of the two strip clubs in Cheyenne. The Bare Back in Rock Springs wasn't bad and the recent review agrees. I-80 reaches its highest point between Cheyenne and Laramie. Outside Cheyenne is the Vedauwoo Climbing Area, with rock formations you can climb of various difficulties. The Medicine Bow National Forest west of Laramie is scenic.

Grand Junction isn't worth it.

The rest of the state nice is nice looking but bad for gas mileage and has more violent weather. It's a slog.

KC 29 to Nebraska City and cut through to 80/Lincoln.

SLC actually has adult entertainment and if you like civi blondes, not too bad.

@skibum609 I can't thank you enough for the fantastic reply! I read through your post three times just to absorb all of the info!

So let me ask you this...from reading your reply, is it safe to say that my projected route through Grand Junction is potentially SAFER than the other possibilities? If I'm reading you correctly, it sounds like the I-80 option is definitely more scenic, but potentially comes with more risks from things like wild animals in the road, strong wind gusts, and possibly longer gaps for things like gas stations and cell service??

For the journey to Bend, I guess my highest priority is just making it there as safely as possible, and in reasonably efficient time. Whereas on the way back, I'd be more likely to think about taking a more scenic option, possibly even considering time on I-90, like you mentioned.

In other words, in your opinion, what's the safest route I can take to get to Bend without going too far out of my way, other than maybe Grand Junction, of course?

Thanks again!

@ArtCollege I do always look to see what clubs might be on my way to a destination. :) But in this case, I'm more focused on just how to get to Bend with relative safety and efficiency. So even if a particular route doesn't offer particularly good club options, if it's relatively safe and easy to navigate the route, I will consider it a good choice for me in this case... :) Thanks!

@origamiguy thanks for your input! I'm leaning toward prioritizing driving safety over other factors, at least on the trip to Bend. However, if I end up taking I-80 on either leg of the journey, your suggestions will be helpful! Sounds like if I'm on that route, I should plan to stop for lunch or dinner in Laramie. :)

@sfrsox Thanks! If the single biggest priority is getting safely from Columbia to Bend without incident, which route do you think offers the most safety, all things considered?

These are the top five most dangerous states for drivers.

1 South Carolina
2 Wyoming
3 Louisiana
4 Montana
5 Mississippi

@shadowcat wow, interesting... Did they rank all the states, or did they just show the top 5?

@shadowcat my question can be disregarded, as I should have just done a search before asking it! Already found one color-coded map showing all 50 states ranked... :)

^Club. All the routes are equally safe. Remember we do our drips in the dead of winter, except for one in May. The worst weather we've seen on all of our trips was in Pennsylvania and the second worst Iowa.
My comments on the animals are a reminder that while you can drive 110 out there with no cops, there are other hazards. Think of it this way; the time of year you're going you will be fine barring extraordinary weather and by that I mean its just as likely to get hit by a tornado in Kansas as some other weather deal in the mountains. Lastly secondary roads out there are so remote you can drive fast on them and not see other cars. The only driving skill that makes secondary roads a breeze out West is the ability/desire to two lane pass. Most drivers simply won't, but when you want to drive 80, 60 seems slow.
Wyoming winds are more winter, than summer. Its a great state with real Cowboys.

@Club Fan

Avoid I-40 (ABQ etc.) in the summer , avoid I-70 (Loveland pass) in the winter.

Nebraska is a terrible state to drive across.

Utah is amazingly beautiful.

You can go 83-85 in Nebraska, and not many distractions.

Ohio is much more terrible even though not as long/wide.

@skibum609 Gotcha...thanks for clarifying! As you said, extraordinary weather, or any number of different events could happen just about anywhere. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing an obviously better route in terms of safety, but it sounds like either route would hopefully be just fine for me this time of year. And of course, I will try to stay vigilant at all times... :)

@sfrsox 👍👍👍Thanks!

@JamesSD Even though I haven't yet driven through either, I would definitely expect Utah to be more scenic than Nebraska! Any thoughts on the two in terms of road quality, cellular service availability, and other things like that? Thanks!

^Club if you are used to driving on bad roads, with traffic, horns and congestion, you're going to fucking love driving out west. We once drove from Redding California, overnight on secondary roads to glacier national park. From 9:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. we passed no one, no one passed us and 6 cars came the other way.

@skibum609 I've got to say, there's an element of driving in the west that sounds awesome, like getting away from things like congestion and aggressive drivers! But then, I'm used to having more businesses along my routes, for bathroom emergencies, and whatever else may come up!

So, attempting this drive sounds both exciting, and also a wee bit intimidating at the same time...lol But I'm going to carefully look at the route I choose to better understand exactly what kind of gaps to expect between gas stations, hotels, restaurants, etc. I know it should all be manageable... :)

On that overnight drive you mentioned, I'm guessing you encountered at least a few 24 hour gas stations? Did you also encounter any hotels, motels, or other businesses that were open?