Stripper Ethics

Saturday, April 13, 2024 1:40 AM
Stripper Ethics Another poster admonished us that if we are going to strip clubs without our significant other being aware, we are cheating on them. It calls to mind my cousin. He had been married 8 or 9 years, and had two kids, and decided he wanted sex with more than one woman in his life. So, rather than cheat on his wife, he took the “honest” route and divorced her. He finally managed to find a few new sexual partners, so, whatever. But I think it would have been better if he just found some stray, got it out of his system, and stayed married. It would have been easier on the kids. (I understand his wife may have not been so understanding though.) Going to a strip club without the wife's knowledge pales in comparison. But I have run into more than one stripper who is horrified to find out I am married. (And if they ask me, I am not going to lie. I, oddly enough, enjoy a level of honesty in my strip club conversations.) I have had them walk away after they find that out. But here is the thing: They are ok if you fathered 3 kids and turned your back on them. So long as you didn't commit to marriage. I chalk that up to if they ever find their sugar daddy, they damn well want him to stay committed. Call me corrupt. But my feelings are that if I have been responsible to my family for decades, I am entitled to go blow off a little steam once in a while. When I was younger, I used to tell the wife where I was going, and she grudgingly accepted it. It seemed to be more acceptable to her if I went with a friend. Now I am older, my kids are all adults, and she is less tolerant. But going to strip clubs is one of my very few pleasures. So the choice is whether to go through the exhausting negotiations, and go even if she is not happy, or cave and not go, or just fucking go on the quiet and hope it never comes up. Now if she wanted to go to Chippendales or something, I think that would be fucking great. But she has no such desires. (She did get kind of horny when I took her to a live performance of Oh Calcutta! though.) Is it worth getting divorced over? You know what? I don't know at this point. I read a review by a guy who went to Deja Vu, in Minneapolis I think, then got back to his motel room and had good sex with his wife. I think that is great too. On the other hand, my brother was uptight as hell when I took him to a favorite strip club of mine 20 years ago. Guarantee he never went to another. And when he got older, his wife asked him to consider Viagra. And he wasn't interested. So they both just do without. So, how about this. Don't judge the other guy. You don't know what he has been through. If a stripper is worried and doesn't want to dance for a married guy, whatever, that's up to her. There are others who will. And the uptight stripper can dance for guys who lie to her so she can have a clear conscience. Most are smart enough not to ask. But if the young ones ask me. I tell them. And then I give them a tip to the wise: Don't ask that question. Guys don't come here to talk about their wives. I had once answer that she was just making small talk. I told her: "That's not small talk." A good strip club motto is: "Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

25 comments

why are you posting this shit here. go talk to your shrink
PoundKing
a month ago
That seems super odd to me, that a stripper would criticize you to your face, for being married. With all the strippers I've gotten to know some, they'd have a much lower opinion of a guy who ghosted on his kids, versus one who cheated on his wife. I don't think sex workers typically have a high opinion of their customers. But they certainly taking a big hit to their income if they can't keep that to themselves. You also have the option of telling your wife you want an open marriage, and you'll understand if she has to leave you. Cheating or initiating a divorce yourself are not your only options. But, I agree, not for me to judge.
ilbbaicnl
a month ago
I find life simpler being divorced.
Jascoi
a month ago
If married guys weren’t going to strip clubs, AMPs, and escorts, they would all go out of business.
azdd
a month ago
Strippers Should "Cover" Clientele Despite Certain Situations But The Boundaries Isn't For Me To Judge. Strip Clubs @ The Public Is For Dancing & Entertainment. I Wouldn't Get The Dancers Involved In Risky Info Even @ Small Talk. Though We Like To Talk About Things, Know Your Stripper First 🐦 🦅 ☀️
stripperlover777
a month ago
Great thread OP. Spot on with your analysis. It is why in some cultures that men having mistresses are totally acceptable and quite the norm, but that’s not the case in our society. We are prudish men n the US, but a strip club is a place we go where we pay for providers not to be prudish. I can understand if the dancer wasn’t getting paid, but seriously that type of dancer needs to get over herself or find another profession.
Mate27
a month ago
I’m not reading all that lil bro… a stripper with ethics is like a thief who says they only steal from the rich doesn’t matter your still a thief same with strippers
Mr Monger
a month ago
Interesting post. As my wife has become less sexual with age, I’ve considered leaving her but have decided so far to stay in what is otherwise a pretty good relationship. Strippers are great for taking the edge off of a purely physical need, and of course my wife doesn’t want to know about it. Taking the nuclear option and getting a divorce, traumatizing the kids, halving your wealth, etc. seems extreme just to get better or more regular pussy. In my mid 50s the available non pros are pretty rough looking and come with a ton of baggage, so it’s not clear what would be out there waiting for me if I did bail. Any stripper who is surprised you are married hasn’t been stripping for very long. We are their bread and butter.
drewcareypnw
a month ago
> Now if she wanted to go to Chippendales or something My wife does girls weekends with her friends somewhat regularly. The usually (not always) hire some kind of adult male entertainment, or go to a male strip club on these trips. And from the reports I've heard, shit gets pretty rowdy. And, I'm all for it. More power to her, I want her to enjoy life as much as she wants me to enjoy mine. Anyway, this is a great discussion OP. I think you're spot on to question the idea that it's the more moral choice to leave your family for a life of mongering versus patronizing clubs when you're married.
RonJax2
a month ago
Frequenting strip clubs is far different than cheating with a mistress/sidepiece. There was a mother thread awhile ago with the "is strip clubbing cheating?" topic. Now, if a stripper eventually becomes a sidepiece, I suppose that's a different story. It seems that a SO would be more concerned about emotional cheating than physical cheating, but I suppose neither is good. But, I would imagine it's better to get action from a NSA OTC/stripper arrangement than having a work wife with more emotions involved. As far as the holier-than-thou stripper who grinds dicks to pay rent, that's laughable. She's a fool to turn away money from married men. Mutiple reasons - Married men are typically older and more financial secure; Divorced men often have an outflow of alimony/child support.
funonthaside
a month ago
I've known several strippers who wouldn't fuck with me because I was married. They didn't believe that she knows what's going on, and there was no way short of dragging my wife in to it that would convince them.
georgmicrodong
a month ago
The majority of dancers I spend any time with ask if I'm married, and I always tell the truth. I've never received a negative reaction, much less a denial/curtailment of services. This includes several I see, and screw, both inside and outside the clubs, on a regular basis. I'm surprised to hear any react otherwise. It makes no sense.
Manuellabore
a month ago
If the subject comes up with a stripper I always say that if I were married I wouldn't be sitting in the club talking to her. Which I like to think is true (don't laugh). Inevitably she responds by telling me how many of her regulars are married. It's hard to imagine a dancer having a problem with a married customer.
caseyx
a month ago
I don't change the way I speak or the subjects on which I speak based on to whom I am speaking. This is a conversation I have had with dancers the most over the past 30+ years. Dancer: What do you do for fun? Me: My wife and I ski, hike and golf a lot. Dancer: Do you like being married? How long? Me: I love being married and I have been married for more than 3 decades. A few more questions and they find out that I think my wife is fucking awesome. The conversation usually ends with the dancer saying something like "it's nice to hear a guy in here who doesn't bad mouth his wife to the dancers." It also creates a better dance atmosphere. Want to increase your chances of picking up a civvie in a club? Go with a group of female friends. That marks you as safe to other women, same with being sweet about your wife in the club. Dancers get men and get it that a guy who calls his wife a cunt, probably thinks even less of other women.
skibum609
a month ago
Skibum’s got it right, most women pick up on vibes from you, especially when you badmouth the women you know. If they don’t feel comfortable with you they don’t care or believe anything you say.
twentyfive
a month ago
People are so sensitive these days. It's a fucking strip club, one of the last bastions many have to escape hyper-sensitivity and political correctness. Telling a stripper she shouldn't ask a question cause a guy might get offended or she might not like the answer erodes at that. Please don't do that. You tell us not to judge, how about you do the same? I'm not an expert, but as I understand it a pretty large portion of customers love to bitch and moan about their wives to strippers. It's so common there's a running joke in the stripper community that they're more mental health workers than sex workers. If a stripper doesn't want to dance for a married man, let her ask and walk away if she so desires. Some strippers may seek out married men as being less inclined to get overly clingy or stalkerish or some other reason. Or it may be just simple conversation starters. Point is they may have a reason to ask, I suggest you not be so sensitive about it. And not assume your hang up about is a prevailing one. If you prefer not to talk about it, simply let her know and redirect the conversation. I'm sure if you said "Sweetie, I'm not here to talk about my wife; How about we go for a dance" or "... I collect stamps, do you have any hobbies?" it would work out just fine. I'm not married, but I do get asked if I am all the time. I can't imagine very many strippers caring if I am or not, at least from an ethical or moral standpoint. Of course there's going to be outliers and extreme viewpoints on it, just like almost any topic. It seems like lately people are much more focused on these edge cases, not just on this topic but again in the larger context. I don't get why. Some small fraction of strippers find it morally reprehensible for a married man to partake in strip clubs. So what? I mean, it might make for a conversation about the edge cases here. But to make generalizations about the small fractions and try to adjust behavior to accommodate seems like overreacting. If they want to ask, let them. If you want to answer, answer. If not, don't. I personally couldn't care less if a stripper asks me if I'm married. If she chooses not to entertain me as a result of my answer, that's fine too. Perhaps I'll feel a moment of disappointment, but in consolation I'll check out her ass as she walks away. And within a few seconds I'll likely have turned my attention elsewhere.
Dolfan
a month ago
If my ex-wife was okay with me seeing other women that would have been fine. but as it was, she was very possessive and jealous and becoming more and more of a bitch. Life is much simpler without her in my everyday life.
Jascoi
a month ago
yeah... I have to pay spousal support. (thank God no young children are involved in my situation.) I didn't split from my wife until I was 61. life IS simpler being divorced. (at least for me.)
Jascoi
a month ago
maybe I'm a bad example to my kids because my four kids all got married and now two of them are divorced. and all of them had children too.
Jascoi
a month ago
The reason why dancers ask customers if they are married has nothing to do with ethics or morals, but because it is a rough screen for the creep factor, as best illustrated from the following lines Alec Baldwin's character said to Matt Damon's character in The Departed: "Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work." Per Skibum's comments, while I wouldn't do it anyway, shit talking your wife to a dancer detracts from the aura of stability and non-creepiness that married status can otherwise convey. It's also just as boring as when a dancer unloads on you about her issues with exes and baby daddies.
Manuellabore
a month ago
married,,,unmarried,,,who cares,,,never known a dancer to not dance for anyone who wasnt dishing out the money,,,and lots of dancers are married themselves or are in long term commited relationships,,,i just assume most customers are married,,,since i have worked steady in lots of places you eventually find out,,,
HoneyDewMelons
a month ago
I think the dancers today don't really want to be dancers they work at the clubs until they find that special person that they are looking for,,, That is also why I think that you just see some girls sitting over in some spot and they don't really interact with any customers either because they're not seeing anybody of Interest to get them where they need to be or have some arrangement with someone but you never know they are still always looking for the next best thing so they just show up at the club keep thier eyes and ears open and wait for the next best thing to come along,,,
HoneyDewMelons
a month ago
@Dofan. I am not judging the strippers when I suggest they don't ask if someone is married. I am only giving them a suggestion that I think will help them make more money. If they choose to ignore my advice, fine. I am no expert. As I say, I don't lie when asked, and I have had them give me a piece of their mind and walk off when I tell them I am married. That is their right as well. If it is the first question I get from her though, I expect she is about to get indignant. If the question comes after we develop a rapport, it doesn't get my guard up.
Rightfield
a month ago
I've never been asked whether I'm married. But if I were asked, I would turn it into a kind of joke and respond with a question like, "You seem interested in me. So are you looking for some extra fun outside of the club?" The dancer now has to explain. She might have a good story, who knows. Her response and attitude will then determine whether I'll be looking for another dancer.
WiseToo
a month ago
I never badmouths my girlfriend…err, sexy lioness that I live with. I mean really, we’re very compatible but you know how it is with lions. She doesn’t want sex much of the time but then wow she really wants it. You know how a lioness tells her boo that she wants some? She bites his frickin’ balls! That said, I love her because I’m a frickin’ lion and I really wouldn’t be able to stand livin’ with a hairless ape 24/7. So I have the perfect plan. Live with a delightful lioness and when I can take the lion life I suit up, hop in the ol’ Tesla, pull out the drivin’ whiskey, and set sail for the nearest source of sexy sexy females. ROAR!!!
rickthelion
a month ago
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