As someone mentioned if youve done stuff in VIP its a simpler process.
If its your first time doing anything with that girl, then its going to be very tough to discuss any specifics regardless whether its in person or over text. There is a big trust concern on both sides suspecting the other of being an undercover cop, so nobody is going to want to openly discuss specific acts for money.
The biggest dealbreaker, IMO, is you need to figure out if she allows multiple nuts in the same appointment and if she has any kind of no orgasm rule for herself. Some escorts and dancers (probably more often ones with a SO), consider an orgasm on their end to be cheating. Its very relevant to both dancing and OTC because it means they wont allow fingering, likely wont allow too much nipple play, likely wont allow multiple nuts in one appointment, and will likely not allow you to keep banging her for too long even if you havent nutted once! In a lapdance, it means shes going to take extensive effort to not grind too much on you. So if youre thinking a grind lapdance is included in a lapdance, it may not be.
A reddit post from a supposed extras dancer stated she doesnt want people playing with her nipples because she can reach orgasm from that and she thinks that crosses a line with work and her personal life. I personally think she wasnt telling the full truth because there are other dancers or escorts who have said they dont allow the same thing for the same reason they dont allow fingering, and that its because they dont want to get off with their clients, usually because of a SO in the picture.
It’s very easy to tell if a dancer or escort falls into that category because they for example will stick to more airdance type of dances, or in an escorts case they won’t allow the use of any toys or fingering or multiple rounds for the guy, won’t want their pussy touched at all other than with a condom, wont want their nipples played with often as well.
I would add that its not something a dancer or an escort is going to admit to openly if a client asks them. Reason being, its a dead giveaway that they have a SO and its going to drive clients away from them. You would instead have to look at what their restrictions are, and judging from that, youll be able to figure out whats going on. For instance some escorts or dancers will say no to fingering and claim it’s because of disease and bacterial concerns. That could be the real reason or it could be the false reason.
What you can do is ask about playing with their pussy without actually fingering it. Or using sex toys, or even brand new unopened sex toys. If they arent open to those things either, then it likely was never about bacterial concerns to begin with, rather just an SO or pimp related restriction.
Some guys actually stick to only the pornstar escorts or very high end $600+ an hour escorts for this reason because theyre less likely to be pimped. They may have an SO, but their SO is likely okay with them getting off during appointments especially for pornstars who are already doing it on set.