OTC deal breakers?
samiel
DFW, Texas
So you met a hot dancer and she's willing to meet you OTC. Do you just take some chances on what's going to happen or do you work out every single little detail?
As long as there's FS, do you not care about DFK or is that a deal breaker? Or maybe no FS, but DFK and BBBJ CIM is available. What are your deal breakers?
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Some mongers do, some don't .... Some dancers like it, some don't... Some dancers would respond, some won't...
Let you be the judge, and don't afraid to make mistakes - There are too many things that you won't be able to control, since u are dealing with another human being
Kissing - I enjoy it, so if they don't kiss it's probably a deal breaker.
Mutual Oral - Same deal.
Hourly Rate - Hate the hourly model.
Beyond that, I'm generally fine with everything else.
The rest of it I roll the dice. Usually I've been with her ITC already so its low risk. But even when I haven't, I don't get into exactly what's gonna happen. I feel things out real time & in person.
I prefer things be more organic, I feel like talking too much about it in advance turns it into a punch card. Sure, if risk disappointment if a girl has limits lower than my expectations with that approach. And it certainly happens sometimes, and I take the hit and pay the girl anyway when it does. Its infrequent enough for me to want to change my approach though. I think a lot of girls likely would cancel the whole thing if I started running down the list of sex acts we might get into, but those same girls are perfectly comfortable with them when they come up naturally.
The list of things that might be deal breakers for a repeat is probably much longer.
I usually try to see a girl ITC a few times before bringing up OTC. Then I'll ask, "would you be comfortable meeting outside the club?" From there I might go as far as "would you be interested in meeting at a hotel" if she seems into it.
It's definitely a feel thing, but if she's down for a hotel, I'd try to ask "what are you comfortable with" or "what are you not comfortable with" somewhere in the conversation. Generally I find out if she's okay with kissing long before OTC.
The "comfortable with" question usually helps you figure out if she has a deal breaker without being too specific about certain acts. This has been my experience at least.
If she's still on board, then it's a gamble (as it always is) as to whether or not it works out.
The variable is how much you're gambling. If it's a dancer you've known for a while and has been a straight shooter overall, then there's a greater chance it'll work out. If it's your first time in a club, and the first time with that dancer, plus no extras have happened, then make sure you bring a good book to the hotel because there's at least a 50% chance she'll ghost you completely.
The only caveat is that, once you've done this a few times, you develop a sense as to whether or not she's going to follow through. I've pulled a "You know what? Never mind." on a few occasions when my Spidey sense was going off a bit too much.
Then again, the negotiations have also been as simple as:
"Hey, what're you doing after your shift?"
"Being under you."
"Okey dokey."
It's highly situational and there's no real formula.
If its your first time doing anything with that girl, then its going to be very tough to discuss any specifics regardless whether its in person or over text. There is a big trust concern on both sides suspecting the other of being an undercover cop, so nobody is going to want to openly discuss specific acts for money.
The biggest dealbreaker, IMO, is you need to figure out if she allows multiple nuts in the same appointment and if she has any kind of no orgasm rule for herself. Some escorts and dancers (probably more often ones with a SO), consider an orgasm on their end to be cheating. Its very relevant to both dancing and OTC because it means they wont allow fingering, likely wont allow too much nipple play, likely wont allow multiple nuts in one appointment, and will likely not allow you to keep banging her for too long even if you havent nutted once! In a lapdance, it means shes going to take extensive effort to not grind too much on you. So if youre thinking a grind lapdance is included in a lapdance, it may not be.
A reddit post from a supposed extras dancer stated she doesnt want people playing with her nipples because she can reach orgasm from that and she thinks that crosses a line with work and her personal life. I personally think she wasnt telling the full truth because there are other dancers or escorts who have said they dont allow the same thing for the same reason they dont allow fingering, and that its because they dont want to get off with their clients, usually because of a SO in the picture.
It’s very easy to tell if a dancer or escort falls into that category because they for example will stick to more airdance type of dances, or in an escorts case they won’t allow the use of any toys or fingering or multiple rounds for the guy, won’t want their pussy touched at all other than with a condom, wont want their nipples played with often as well.
I would add that its not something a dancer or an escort is going to admit to openly if a client asks them. Reason being, its a dead giveaway that they have a SO and its going to drive clients away from them. You would instead have to look at what their restrictions are, and judging from that, youll be able to figure out whats going on. For instance some escorts or dancers will say no to fingering and claim it’s because of disease and bacterial concerns. That could be the real reason or it could be the false reason.
What you can do is ask about playing with their pussy without actually fingering it. Or using sex toys, or even brand new unopened sex toys. If they arent open to those things either, then it likely was never about bacterial concerns to begin with, rather just an SO or pimp related restriction.
Some guys actually stick to only the pornstar escorts or very high end $600+ an hour escorts for this reason because theyre less likely to be pimped. They may have an SO, but their SO is likely okay with them getting off during appointments especially for pornstars who are already doing it on set.
Over time, it got to where I’d concern myself less with possible deal breakers in terms of activities during OTC. I think there are two reasons for this. First, OTC is always a roll of the dice. Will she even show up? Will she follow through on anything agreed to? Even with a repeat gal, YMMV. Having said that, I’ve yet to meet a dancer who doesn’t know what I want in general with OTC. Whether they provide that experience is another matter.
The second reason is that I got way more selective about it. No matter how hot she is or what she says in the club, I’m not interested in even trying to arrange a get together unless the vibe and convo seem real easy and straightforward. If she seems flaky, dramatic or inconsistent in the club, it’s a pass for me.
Other than this – if all I’ve done w/ her in the club is get LDs, and I want more than that OTC; then one should specify their OTC expectations as part of the upfront-negotiation - basically anything I’d def want/have-to-have OTC that I haven’t done ITC/VIP; probably kosher to iron-out upfront – o/w if I’m happy w/ what we’ve done in VIP, then I’d likely just go w/ the flow during OTC.
I’d also def iron-out the payment upfront – and my M.O. is pretty-much never to ask a dancer for a price for anything – when I was clubbing-regularly I usually knew what a fair-price for things were (given the particular club and/or region) and I’d “state my price” vs asking a dancer for hers – e.g. I’d say something like “is $300 good for you”, or something like that; vs asking her something like “how much for us to meet outside”; etc.
$1000 an hour isn’t reasonable anywhere