What are your deal breakers when negotiating OTC?
So you met a hot dancer and she's willing to meet you OTC. Do you just take some chances on what's going to happen or do you work out every single little detail?
As long as there's FS, do you not care about DFK or is that a deal breaker? Or maybe no FS, but DFK and BBBJ CIM is available. What are your deal breakers?
good again. example. One of my consistent tj favorites now insisting on a condom. but she will still go bbfs if I pay enough. I'm not willing yet to pay that much more.
My deal breakers are generally:
Kissing - I enjoy it, so if they don't kiss it's probably a deal breaker.
Mutual Oral - Same deal.
Hourly Rate - Hate the hourly model.
Beyond that, I'm generally fine with everything else.
It’s usually agreeed upon we are hooking up but beyond that atleast first time I usually don’t get too into the weeds on the advanced stuff. I try to feel it out in real time. Depends how well I know the girl I would say. Asking about anal or cumming in her face right off the bat I feel like you gotta vibe a little bit first.
When negotiating? My only deal breakers are money, as in I'm only willing to pay so much. Then time/place, as in it has to fit my schedule. And the last one I can think of is the hourly rate stuff, I simply don't do hourly. Transportation could be one, but generally that really traces back to money and scheduling.
The rest of it I roll the dice. Usually I've been with her ITC already so its low risk. But even when I haven't, I don't get into exactly what's gonna happen. I feel things out real time & in person.
I prefer things be more organic, I feel like talking too much about it in advance turns it into a punch card. Sure, if risk disappointment if a girl has limits lower than my expectations with that approach. And it certainly happens sometimes, and I take the hit and pay the girl anyway when it does. Its infrequent enough for me to want to change my approach though. I think a lot of girls likely would cancel the whole thing if I started running down the list of sex acts we might get into, but those same girls are perfectly comfortable with them when they come up naturally.
The list of things that might be deal breakers for a repeat is probably much longer.
BF/Gf/Pimp coming along to wait for her outside.. It happened to a guy I know. Dancer was very rushed to get in and out.
What’s the going rate now a days? I’m in the gta area (Toronto Canada). I’ve been getting 500 hr or “ I don’t meet otc for less then 1000”. Lmk
^ is that $CAD or $US ?
Grumpiness. I'm not grumpy with them, so I don't think they have any good reason to be grumpy with me. If someone can't negotiate $ without being rude/insulting, they're toxicaly self-absorbed, and/or being a shithead 100% of the time is their high priority in life.
For those saying that if you've seen her VIP you know what acts she's comfortable with, this is not the case at a non-extras club. How would you handle that situation?
I would definitely discuss any deal breakers before meeting OTC. At the very least I discuss whether it will be FS or not. For sure discuss if there will be anything sexual involved or not. Some girls will just do OTC dinner and nothing else.
I usually try to see a girl ITC a few times before bringing up OTC. Then I'll ask, "would you be comfortable meeting outside the club?" From there I might go as far as "would you be interested in meeting at a hotel" if she seems into it.
It's definitely a feel thing, but if she's down for a hotel, I'd try to ask "what are you comfortable with" or "what are you not comfortable with" somewhere in the conversation. Generally I find out if she's okay with kissing long before OTC.
The "comfortable with" question usually helps you figure out if she has a deal breaker without being too specific about certain acts. This has been my experience at least.
^ You ask for exactly what you want. You also ask what her limits are (so you're not surprised during OTC) . Then you talk money. After that, you explain that if she doesn't provide what's been negotiated, then she doesn't get paid. And you try to keep all of that as casual as possible.
If she's still on board, then it's a gamble (as it always is) as to whether or not it works out.
The variable is how much you're gambling. If it's a dancer you've known for a while and has been a straight shooter overall, then there's a greater chance it'll work out. If it's your first time in a club, and the first time with that dancer, plus no extras have happened, then make sure you bring a good book to the hotel because there's at least a 50% chance she'll ghost you completely.
The only caveat is that, once you've done this a few times, you develop a sense as to whether or not she's going to follow through. I've pulled a "You know what? Never mind." on a few occasions when my Spidey sense was going off a bit too much.
Then again, the negotiations have also been as simple as:
"Hey, what're you doing after your shift?"
"Being under you."
"Okey dokey."
It's highly situational and there's no real formula.
^ Ninja'd by samiel.
As someone mentioned if youve done stuff in VIP its a simpler process.
If its your first time doing anything with that girl, then its going to be very tough to discuss any specifics regardless whether its in person or over text. There is a big trust concern on both sides suspecting the other of being an undercover cop, so nobody is going to want to openly discuss specific acts for money.
The biggest dealbreaker, IMO, is you need to figure out if she allows multiple nuts in the same appointment and if she has any kind of no orgasm rule for herself. Some escorts and dancers (probably more often ones with a SO), consider an orgasm on their end to be cheating. Its very relevant to both dancing and OTC because it means they wont allow fingering, likely wont allow too much nipple play, likely wont allow multiple nuts in one appointment, and will likely not allow you to keep banging her for too long even if you havent nutted once! In a lapdance, it means shes going to take extensive effort to not grind too much on you. So if youre thinking a grind lapdance is included in a lapdance, it may not be.
A reddit post from a supposed extras dancer stated she doesnt want people playing with her nipples because she can reach orgasm from that and she thinks that crosses a line with work and her personal life. I personally think she wasnt telling the full truth because there are other dancers or escorts who have said they dont allow the same thing for the same reason they dont allow fingering, and that its because they dont want to get off with their clients, usually because of a SO in the picture.
It’s very easy to tell if a dancer or escort falls into that category because they for example will stick to more airdance type of dances, or in an escorts case they won’t allow the use of any toys or fingering or multiple rounds for the guy, won’t want their pussy touched at all other than with a condom, wont want their nipples played with often as well.
I would add that its not something a dancer or an escort is going to admit to openly if a client asks them. Reason being, its a dead giveaway that they have a SO and its going to drive clients away from them. You would instead have to look at what their restrictions are, and judging from that, youll be able to figure out whats going on. For instance some escorts or dancers will say no to fingering and claim it’s because of disease and bacterial concerns. That could be the real reason or it could be the false reason. What you can do is ask about playing with their pussy without actually fingering it. Or using sex toys, or even brand new unopened sex toys. If they arent open to those things either, then it likely was never about bacterial concerns to begin with, rather just an SO or pimp related restriction.
Some guys actually stick to only the pornstar escorts or very high end $600+ an hour escorts for this reason because theyre less likely to be pimped. They may have an SO, but their SO is likely okay with them getting off during appointments especially for pornstars who are already doing it on set.
Herpes is a deal breaker.
Grooming fresh snow is a deal ....oops ...wrong site.. never mind.
Years ago, I’d try to nail down more specifics, other than price. Price always needed clear agreement and still does.
Over time, it got to where I’d concern myself less with possible deal breakers in terms of activities during OTC. I think there are two reasons for this. First, OTC is always a roll of the dice. Will she even show up? Will she follow through on anything agreed to? Even with a repeat gal, YMMV. Having said that, I’ve yet to meet a dancer who doesn’t know what I want in general with OTC. Whether they provide that experience is another matter.
The second reason is that I got way more selective about it. No matter how hot she is or what she says in the club, I’m not interested in even trying to arrange a get together unless the vibe and convo seem real easy and straightforward. If she seems flaky, dramatic or inconsistent in the club, it’s a pass for me.
@iknowbetter cad
@Huntsman I think emphasizes the point I was hoping to make about the deal breakers not coming up during OTC negotiation. When I see a girl ITC, even if it's a non-extras club or for some reason we don't do anything extra in the club, I still talk to her. If I'm asking a girl to meet me OTC, I've already vetted her in the sense that I'm pretty confident we're gonna have a good time. We've already hung out a bit and had a few drinks, talked a bit, gotten a sense for each other to some extent. The vast majority of the deal breakers would have been identified during our time together at the club, long before the subject of OTC came up.
When I was clubbing I wasn’t much of an OTCer – but to “state the obvious”; first-and-foremost “OTC deal breaker” is a dancer wanting the OTC-money upfront (or part of it) as a condition for the future OTC meetup (something newbie-PLs can fall for and get taken).
Other than this – if all I’ve done w/ her in the club is get LDs, and I want more than that OTC; then one should specify their OTC expectations as part of the upfront-negotiation - basically anything I’d def want/have-to-have OTC that I haven’t done ITC/VIP; probably kosher to iron-out upfront – o/w if I’m happy w/ what we’ve done in VIP, then I’d likely just go w/ the flow during OTC.
I’d also def iron-out the payment upfront – and my M.O. is pretty-much never to ask a dancer for a price for anything – when I was clubbing-regularly I usually knew what a fair-price for things were (given the particular club and/or region) and I’d “state my price” vs asking a dancer for hers – e.g. I’d say something like “is $300 good for you”, or something like that; vs asking her something like “how much for us to meet outside”; etc.
The godfather of tuscl lives!!
Even at a non extras club theres things to look for out for. If mixing airdances in the lapdances, i doubt she would perform anything additional in OTC. If theyre playing with johnny outside the pants it can be a hint for OTC.
$1000 an hour isn’t reasonable anywhere
If you had already met her on VIP, you would have already dealt with many of these to an extent - Then the rest, feel your gut instincts and move forward.
Some mongers do, some don't .... Some dancers like it, some don't... Some dancers would respond, some won't...
Let you be the judge, and don't afraid to make mistakes - There are too many things that you won't be able to control, since u are dealing with another human being