Do you like to be alone? Do you notice that you like it more as you get older?

I don't know why I put the cat in there. Then again, he is a needy little bastard.

Now I know why you are the way you are; 2 teen daughters, a wife and a cat. That’s a lot of pussy you have to deal with and that’s w/out going to a club. I’d complain a lot too if I were you. Good luck w/that.

^LOL

It’s a Ying Yang thing for me. Boy do I love my alone time. But too much you start going crazy. Inverse too. When I work with people I tell myself I fucking hate people just leave me be, don’t fuck with me. When I’ve worked alone, you miss the camaraderie.

I get the sentiment.

Younger years, was probably more of a 90-10 split of alone time to need for some sort of social element. Getting on in years, starting to be more like 5-95 split of 5% socializing, 95% solitude. Even this has been blending into more of a 1-99 split on occasion.

Solitude, though. Not loneliness. Loneliness in my 20's, whenever I'd been isolated, perhaps. Nowadays alone time feels much more restive than it used to. Either that, or productive hyper-focused time. Can also do the vegetative-state, but with virtually none of the restlessness of my earlier years.

My problem is that solitude is actually too comfortable. I've gotten so used to it, I'm sure it's one of my core weaknesses. But that's assuming you buy into the idea that anything that feels too easy is probably some sort of lost growth opportunity.

Anyways, I think most men have it in them to pull off a life of solitude if they so choose (or if they find themselves involuntarily in that sort of circumstance). Wouldn't have believed it in my younger years, though.

I will steal a quote that sums it up for me......"The world would be a great place, if it wasn't for the people". The older I get the less tolerant I am even at the Strip Club, where the only good oral is face down in my lap getting to know Little ET !!!!

@drewcareypnw

I will play along and comment on your discussion.

“Although I am a typical loner in my daily life, my awareness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has prevented me from feelings of isolation.”

~ Albert Einstein ~ German physicist and Physics Nobel Prize winner

Ich stimme meinem Landsmann zu

^ CJ: I don't give a fuck about Albert Einstein's quote. Tell me what YOU think.

I don’t mind being alone I find some things are best to enjoy when I’m on my own, but I do enjoy sharing things in the company of other people, some more than others.

Personally I definitely want and need my alone time. Principally just to think and let my thoughts wander. I, too, found this occurring more in my 50s. I'm what they refer to as an extroverted introvert. When I'm with people I feel in have to constantly "be on"; it's exhausting.

I absolutely love being alone and for the last 45 years have always done one week alone in Florida, golfing and strip clubbing, and yes during my entire marriage. Confession: I haven't done this since October 2023. About 90% of the reason, I have always strip clubbed. Having said that I have a job that requires me to interact with other people all the time and Thu, Fri and Sat I played poker, in three different games, with about 45 people, because there's a little bit of overlap. We played from 6 pm to 4 am yesterday so you interact alot. I also discovered that getting 3 pocket pairs in 10 hours means you lose, no matter how well you play.

@drewcareypnw

I “Think” that we are “alone” in how we perceive ourselves and the world around us in our own life experience…

“The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.”

~ Thomas Wolfe ~ American novelist of the early 20th century

@drewcareypnw

I will play along and answer your questions.

Q Do you like to be alone? A: Yes.

Q: Do you notice that you like it more as you get older? A: Yes.

“Loneliness is the human condition”

“The human condition is defined as the positive or negative aspects of being human, such as birth, growth, reproduction, love, and death.

The word ‘condition’ makes it sound like a disease that we are all born with or some curse that is the fate of all humanity, but it seems the human condition is simply based on time — the time we have on this planet and how we as humans live out that time.

What we do in between the inevitable birth and death defines us, and there in the middle, we find the making of stories that will be carried on for generations to come”

~ study.com.

Knowing that loneliness is part of the human condition makes human beings feel less alone in feeling lonely…

:D

As I age I appreciate solitude more. I do still want human interaction. But half an hour of touching a strippers body and having an orgasm can easily satisfy that.

Half an hour? I think you mean more like 2 minutes!

LDK82 can’t even get through the first chorus of a Ramones song without LDKing so I’m not sure you’re much better! lol

Outside of clubs, I prefer to be alone. I suppose clubs fill a social interaction void, though....albeit with only surface level interaction.

I have plenty of opportunities for more meaningful interactions, including with others in my household, and at work, but I do miss the days of traveling for work and pleasure on my own. Of course, the flip side of that you sometimes look at others when you are alone, and may desire some company periodically.

As Muddy says, it’s the Yin and the Yang. It’s nice to have someone, sometimes, and it’s nice to answer to absolutely no one other times. It comes down to are you happier most days with or without? As I got older and after I made the good decision to divorce my wife, despite a bit of painful $$ cost to it, if I absolutely had to choose one or the other I’d choose to answer to no one. However, I currently have an X where we get together for a handful of days about every 5 weeks. Though it is likely to stop at anytime, IMHO this is the sweet spot. Find a woman who likes to get together a couple weekends a month. The remaining time you answer to no one. It’s never stale, I rarely see the emotions run amok days, you will actually enjoy missing each other, but the rest of the time I get to pickup and go to the SC or do what I want without the sometimes mind numbing chatter.

Brahma2k ftw. That sounds delightful.

Makes me think when my wife and I get into a fight. She’ll often say, “well when you have your next wife she can do…”

I always respond, “whoa whoa whoa, what makes you think I’m dumb enough to go get married again?” They ALWAYS ends the yelling because she hasn’t figured out how to respond to that yet. Luckily I have a pretty nice wife so those fights are rare.

One another note if something happens to my wife one day I already have a plan to sell my house rent an apartment or low maintenance townhome, eat TV dinners alone, watch sports, exercise, gamble and fuck random women and I’d be totally content with that. The o oh time is talk to anyone is at work and if I’m trying to get into a broads pants!

In my working days I yearned for a little more "me" time. Especially before the last kid left home.

For me, covid and retirement happened the same time, and I learned, better than I knew before, about lonely. Fortunately I'm good day to day friends with my wife.

Picking up guitar and playing with others now gives me a good mix of social and alone time - you can do it either way.

Add in the occasion club visit and I'm good 👍.

Drew, you’re a dad and in that role it’s your job to take shit. Everyday your daughters and wife serve a platter of shit for you to deal with every time you walk through that door. It goes to say that to have alone time means you don’t have to consume the shit platter constantly fed to you on a daily basis whenever you walk into your house. However, I bet you’d drive yourself stir crazy if you had too mushy time to yourself, because you’re probably used to being swarmed by the shit constantly hurled at you. Since I’m in a similar situation, I pause when it gets too deep, and try to embrace it and appreciate it because we know it won’t last. Glad you got the means to vacate that shit for a night. I bet you went home and smiled at the girls complaints, needing you to take care of their problems and then you probably feel blessed!

@Shailynn, I’m living your plan now, except that I don’t gamble. But, I still find a void in my home which I wish would be filled by a woman sitting next to me on the sofa watching tv in the evenings and sharing the cookies I just baked and listening to me tell about what my grandkids did today. I can find a sex partner elsewhere and I don’t want another wife but there is that bit of a hole in my life that only a special woman can fill.

@mate: that is solid as fuck. Thank you.

"Do you like to be alone? Do you notice that you like it more as you get older?"

Yeah. Now get the fuck off my lawn.

I live in a senior citizen community of 155 homes. In the 8+ years that I have been here, I have not attended one of their social events and I'm surrounded by single women my age. I prefer to stay home by myself except when I meet with family, real friends or hit the strip clubs.

@drewcareypnw

Sounds like you had a fantastic job working overseas two weeks at a time in a foreign capital. Can you share what your work involved overseas?

I enjoy solitude as I get older probably because I was always in some type of social situation where I had to interact with the same people in a structured environment. Solitude actually allows me to be a stranger to people I meet without concern that they may or may not like me because probably I'll never see them again.

Is shadow at Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino?

@wisetoo: I worked in IT for a very boring and dumb multinational company. Lots of travel, fancy hotels, a driver with a "Mr. Carey" sign at the airport, an essentially unlimited expense account. And lots of alone time, peppered with ridiculous amounts of fucking with women who knew I was leaving in a few days. Was fun!

L'enfer c'est les autres ? Famous words from Jean-Paul Sartre, a bit extreme but some truth to it.

@drewcareypnw

You wrote, and I quote:

“… ridiculous amounts of fucking with women …”

Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.

:D

Good Times, Good Times.

I've always considered myself as introverted, and a bit of a loner. That's not to say I don't see the importance of maintaining good relationships among my family, friends, coworkers etc. A good support system/accountability is essential to maintaining life stability.

Once you’ve been in a relationship and had a family for 10-20 years it’s natural to crave a little time alone. Plus, even in a healthy relationship, you’ve said most everything you need to say to each other and should be comfortable being quiet. Couples can still have fun together long term, but it has less urgency and allows each partner to do things alone. It’s just progression of life and passage of time.