Bottom 25 Strip Clubs
sinclair
Strip Club Nation
I went through every review I have written since 2009 and came up with a list of the twenty-five worst strip clubs I have been to based on my ratings. Every club gets a 1-10 rating on Dancers, Club, and Value. The worst you can rate a strip club is 1, 1, 1 on each category (which is a 3 out of 30). The best you can rate a strip club is 10, 10, 10 on each category (which is a 30 out of 30). My bottom twenty-five had overall ratings from a 3 to an 11. I know at least seven of these shitty clubs have closed permanently.
1. The Other Place, Fond du Lac, Wisconsin 3
2. Sho Bar, New Orleans, Louisiana 3 (closed)
3. Ole Milt’s, Hannibal, Missouri 4
4. Illusion’s Gentlemen's Club, Woodville, Mississippi 4 (closed)
5. Cheetahs, Amarillo, Texas 4 (closed)
6. Louie’s Lounge, Melrose Park, Illinois 4 (closed)
7. Blue Moon Gentlemen’s Club, Phoenix, Arizona 4
8. The Cellar, Joliet, Illinois 5
9. Mouse’s Ear, Johnson City, Tennessee 5
10. Spot Lite, West Allis, Wisconsin 5 (closed)
11. Cheeks, Washington Park, Illinois 5
12. Wise Guys Show Club, Washington Park, Illinois 5
13. V-Ja’s Lounge, Frankfort, New York 6
14. Playpen Gentlemen’s Club, Wilder, Kentucky 6
15. All Star Bar & Grill, McCook, Illinois 8
16. Sugar’s Lounge, Parkersburg, West Virginia 8
17. Suzy’s Lounge, Line Lexington, Pennsylvania 8
18. Rhonda’s Place, St. Louis, Missouri 8
19. Elite Gentlemen’s Club, Charleston, West Virginia 8
20. The Candy Factory, Compton, Illinois 9 (closed)
21. Camelot, Washington, District of Columbia, 9
22. Jaguars, Harlingen, Texas 9
23. Party Place Cabaret, Corpus Christi, Texas 10
24. Club Venus, Covington, Kentucky 11 (closed)
25. Coz’s Eight Ball Lounge, Cadillac, Michigan 11
What are the worst five, ten, or twenty-five strip clubs you have been to?
1. The Other Place, Fond du Lac, Wisconsin 3
2. Sho Bar, New Orleans, Louisiana 3 (closed)
3. Ole Milt’s, Hannibal, Missouri 4
4. Illusion’s Gentlemen's Club, Woodville, Mississippi 4 (closed)
5. Cheetahs, Amarillo, Texas 4 (closed)
6. Louie’s Lounge, Melrose Park, Illinois 4 (closed)
7. Blue Moon Gentlemen’s Club, Phoenix, Arizona 4
8. The Cellar, Joliet, Illinois 5
9. Mouse’s Ear, Johnson City, Tennessee 5
10. Spot Lite, West Allis, Wisconsin 5 (closed)
11. Cheeks, Washington Park, Illinois 5
12. Wise Guys Show Club, Washington Park, Illinois 5
13. V-Ja’s Lounge, Frankfort, New York 6
14. Playpen Gentlemen’s Club, Wilder, Kentucky 6
15. All Star Bar & Grill, McCook, Illinois 8
16. Sugar’s Lounge, Parkersburg, West Virginia 8
17. Suzy’s Lounge, Line Lexington, Pennsylvania 8
18. Rhonda’s Place, St. Louis, Missouri 8
19. Elite Gentlemen’s Club, Charleston, West Virginia 8
20. The Candy Factory, Compton, Illinois 9 (closed)
21. Camelot, Washington, District of Columbia, 9
22. Jaguars, Harlingen, Texas 9
23. Party Place Cabaret, Corpus Christi, Texas 10
24. Club Venus, Covington, Kentucky 11 (closed)
25. Coz’s Eight Ball Lounge, Cadillac, Michigan 11
What are the worst five, ten, or twenty-five strip clubs you have been to?
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25 comments
I'm also surprised near Tex Mex border would be that bad for you. Heard it is rather high mileage down there lol.
Club 21 in Washington Heights, Manhattan. Uptown. Just some bar with dancers. I bought 1 $20 dance, they pull out a chair in the back and the bouncer literally stands right next to us while I get this dance, the bar and everything is right behind me. I felt personally attacked.
The rules in Alberta make all the clubs terrible. No way around it.
One place AJ's in San Jose, there's like another stage in the club, well lit, and you get up on the chair to get airdances. Basically the club has full view of you getting ripped off.
Pharaohs in Buffalo. It was during Covid the head security dude was HUGE dickhead. I had my mask down around my mouth and he kept yelling at me. I asked about military discount coming in he shook his head and rolled his eyes. It's just a question dude, no is fine. Then I'm getting dances at this place, WAIT no touching at all. Another security dude comes in to break up the fun. You know me touching hips. God forbid.
All mormon territory, mountain west most cases are pretty shitty. A couple in Boise Spearmint, Torch 2 just getting stared down during dances. Club 91 in Pocatello getting dances right behind the DJ's. Who thinks of this shit?
I actually like San Francisco strip clubs but a couple were real bad. Roaring 20's I whipped out my phone to check a baseball score. And the dancer dancing on stage started yelling at me, the DJ stopped the music are started yelling NO PHONES, NO PHONES like there was a fire going on. Then the bouncers asked me to show them my photos in my phone. No problem I'll do that I ain't got nothing but I was like yo fuck this place. But at least TELL ME, no phones before hand, shit. There's a bunch of clubs all right there, so I just hit the next one. Then Mitchell Bros. I just got accosted by ancient strippers the whole time, super aggressive. I couldn't take it anymore, all hustle.
Anything in Chicago proper is truly awful. Some of the hardest policed clubs anywhere. And the irony is, it's in a completely lawless city. The suburban clubs just outside ain't terrible though imo.
And yeah blue moon in Phoenix was pretty bad, you just get ambushed by door vultures and that's it really.
There's so many, I forgot a lot, I try to bounce before I try to burn money if I recognize it's gonna be a bad time. As rule most clubs aren't that good in my opinion. My ratings for awhile were all fucked up because I usually rate the place as the physical building, I didn't really incorporate the rules in that, I threw that in the value rating. And the girls, an average lineup was based on the girls number scale not the tuscl number scale. So average, below average was like 6 or 7 the average of the lineup instead of 5 is average like I do now. A girl that's a 5 you probably wouldn't want to fuck but here I guess that's average so for awhile my scores were all pretty high.
This one sticks out to me the most:
Hi-way Playground - Yukon PA. I don’t recall them having alcohol and the inside looked like it was under construction, but they just gave up and went ahead and ran it although the building was only 60% complete. You entered through an adult bookstore that had like 4 magazines and 5 DVDs on the shelf. I met a few hot dancers there before but even they couldn’t get me to shake the total loser feeling leaving that club. I got lapdances one time and you went into a room with a sheet over a couch, and the dancer played a CD on a mini boom box that kept skipping the song, probably because there was a booger on the CD. You’re on another level of PL if you even enter this club. I haven’t been there since probably 2008 but it doesn’t matter since it burnt down in 2018.
Hey their website is still active - I think SJG designed it while at the library.
http://www.hiwayplayground.com/
Closed now, thankfully.
I think my vote for worst is a now defunct club somewhere around Plover Wisconsin. I can't remember the name, but I do remember an extremely irate bouncer barging in to the only lap dance I bought there because the back of my hand had brushed the dancer's butt.
Hee, hee, HEE, HAW, HAW HAW!
I used to drive past that little hell hole all the time, and for a very good reason.🤣
Blue Moon Lounge was totally solid in my experience though admittedly not your typical SC set up.
The worst clubs are the ones where it’s virtually impossible to have fun - like in Salt Lake City, but I won’t even mention clubs like that.
Nastiest club I’ve ever been to is Pleasure Palace in Brooklyn, IL - east of St. Louis. Don’t get me wrong, I had fun there more than once but it’s a different level of low quality in every category imaginable.
Present day, there are still close to 10 candidates that come to mind.
Club XO in Linden NJ and Exscape north of Baltimore are horrible
And then there was Climax...known for its drive-through shows.
The woman at the bar fetched me a warm can of Budweiser, and I swiveled my barstool to face the empty stage. That's when a very pregnant young lady approached and said hi, placing herself between my knees, pushing her very swollen belly against me. IIRC, she was actually not bad looking, but I definitely remember desperately hoping her water wouldn't break. I couldn't bring myself to tell her to get lost, but I'm sure I was giving off uncomfortable vibes.
There was only one other patron in the place, a very large, sloppy old guy sitting at a table, talking to a matronly, pear-shaped older woman, who I figured was the house mom. Nope. After a few minutes she went to the jukebox, selected some songs, and got on stage to dance.
That's when I noticed another woman at the end of the bar. She looked ancient, and reminded me vaguely of Popeye. Maybe she was Popeye's grandmother. She kept looking my way and smiling, and eventually she stubbed out her cigarette, sauntered over to me and my pregnant visitor, and let me know that she would be happy to join the two of us in the back room "for some fun."
I'm proud to say I managed to keep my lunch down.
The pregnant dancer told her to go away, and she did. Then preggers seductively suggested to me that we could do some dances. Since I didn't feel like delivering a baby, I declined, said I had to be going, and quickly walked out of that weird place into the real world.
Sometimes I think about going back to Jackson for a visit just to make sure I didn't imagine the whole place.
Sometimes I'll find myself near a random club somewhere, and maybe it doesn't look all that great from the outside, or the reviews are bad, but then I would ask myself "what's the worst that could happen if I went in"?
Well, the worst case scenarios that would usually flash through my mind whenever I posed that question to myself are probably pretty close to what you experienced on that day. So then my mind would go back and forth, over and over. Do I take a chance, knowing it could be really, really bad, just for that 1 in 200 chance that I might find a diamond in the rough and have a great time?
But I was never really very bold, so I pretty much always chickened out. Kudos to you for having the courage to go in and give it a shot! Whether you were there for 10 minutes, or however long it was, you gave it a try, and at least got an interesting story to tell...
Of course, many of the dancers there now may have been there during your past review(s), as well. Related to this, for those of you who wish to refer to the Playhouse Lounge girls as elderly, I suggest you compare them to the Suzy's girls, and then the PL girls will look like young hotties (despite the PL girls being younger than the Suzy's girls....who most certainly haven't aged well).