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On strippers and polygamy

solemnfarrow
Most men that call themselves true mongers would never consider themselves to be in a relationship with their regular girl. That would be antithesis to the entire point of a strip club. No matter how much fun you have, if there are no extras involved, if you see the same girl for several years for the same mileage. What do you get out of it?

Any man in the position of having a regular girl understands that at some level she gives every man in the club the same treatment. Many times we see them as sucker's or Pl for falling to the same routine we have been buying ourselves for years. We make fun of them, knowing our regulars way of hustle and getting dances.

We will say, you don't get the point of the club while partaking in the same fantasy that's maybe a little more personalized. We say we're special, because we know as far as this girl goes, we do get more milage out of frequent spending than most.

But at the same time, even otc ends some time. If you're spending, you'll never get the "authentic" experience of her affection. Does that matter? Is this all a means to an end? A little game, a play we do with the girls to pretend we have something we don't?

Is it pure fantasy? If the relationship is transactional, and you never run out of money and they're up for anything is there really a difference if she gives a shit?

What if she's in a relationship? Good or bad, say a girl doesn't do extras and you see her for years but she's dating and eventually married a guy. You always get the same level, and he supports her and what she does. Do you just deal with only getting to second base with someone you love forever? Knowing it will never go anywhere?

Or do you just embrace the fantasy and what bang you can get for your buck? Where is the line drawn between you being a part of her life and just being a customer, even if you don't want to get anything more?

24 comments

Latest

skibum609
•
a year ago
I have absolutely zero interest in the real life of any dancer whether I have been seeing her for 15 years, or one time. I know I am special to all of them, right until I leave and am replaced by another. This is a fun hobby that goes great with beer. What do I get out of it? Beer, sports on tv, naked women and a place where I can go to have fun, where no one gives a damn about me.
solemnfarrow
•
a year ago
Good answer man. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch, I'm just fairly new and my favorite is moving on to greener pastures. Not getting heartbroken or anything, just kinda thinking about stuff. You're right, I shouldn't take it out the door.
ilbbaicnl
•
a year ago
I probably have had roughly 50 regulars over the years. Of those, there were 5 that irked me cause they couldn't just simple tell me they were done with me. But, can't say I was shocked or heartbroken. If a regular got his heart broken by his fav, I would suspect he may have paid MSRP for his auto as well. Just too trusting, too easily fooled. With pretty much all of my favs, I liked them, and was more considerate of them, than they were to me. But that doesn't bother me. They can't help it that I'm boring to them. Their dances turned me on, they held up their end of the deal. I have no right to expect more than that. In my experience, the dancers who lay it on really thick, that you could civvie date them, look unhealthy and thus don't turn me on.
funonthaside
•
a year ago
It's a common challenge for many......if PLs are honest, we have all fallen victim to becoming too attached at some point.

Easier said than done, but:

1 - Recognize (and remind yourself) that these are transactional situationships with shelf lives (some short, some long, but rarely forever)

2 - have several favorites at a club, and go to multiple clubs

3 - if you ever feel yourself getting into a rut with the same girl, head to another club for awhile

4 - don't burden yourself with caring too much about their problems. We all have issues, so PLs' energy should be focused on our own issues than those of others

5 - if you ever begin to guilty about "cheating" on a CF, ask yourself if she dances for others guys
ilbbaicnl
•
a year ago
It's hard to be hard about their problems. They almost always have had fewer good breaks in their lives than I have. I will try to get extra dances if they have the occasional money pinch. Beyond that, the most they've ever wanted is to be listened to, and to get some expression of sympathy. They def don't want scolding, and only occasionally can you give them advice they find useful.
skibum609
•
a year ago
I've never had a money conversation with a dancer, nor been asked for money by one. I had an ATF for 14 years and never knew where she lived or her money situation. It never came up once. I knew a lot about her family, her nephew, actually had met one of her parents before meeting her, the fun places she went to with her friends, hobbies etc., but only after about 10 years when she stopped drinking. She was there for money and I was there for naked women. Match made in heaven since she was a naked woman and I had money.
solemnfarrow
•
a year ago
I think it's kinda crazy and nice how people can come into each other's lives and what they can do for each other. I live these responses. We all just wanna have fun and be listened to huh? It's always nice when everyone gets what they want. That's how I look at it. I have many years of mongering ahead, and a lot to learn. I hope that she and all the other people I've interacted with in this hobby really turn out well.
drewcareypnw
•
a year ago
I’ve been married 20+ years and have kids. The “authentic” experience is pretty weak compared to a hot slutty stripper trying to impress you.
SquareCastle
•
a year ago
^what ski bum said in the first comment^ (chefs kiss - end of story). And when boredom sets in and the chemistry ain’t no longer there - on to the next one.
iknowbetter
•
a year ago
I’ve never had an emotional connection with a stripper, and I don’t care about their personal lives or relationships any more than they care about mine. Like the famous quote - I pay her to go away.
gSteph
•
a year ago
I’ve been married 40+ years and have kids. One of my kids has kids. My “authentic” experience is pretty darn good and REAL.

The fantasy stripper experience is not real, but damn, it sure is fun. But it's not a relationship, it's just a fun experience - and memories.
solemnfarrow
•
a year ago
So what's the point of going back to the same girl that always offers the same milage? Just getting more of what you know you want? Here I'm asking non extras, like obviously you'd have someone that knows what to do for you there. But what about the girl that never puts out? Is the conversation just amazing? Something else? Looks maybe? That's what I wonder. If it's not an emotional connection that draws you back to the same girl for the same no extras experience, what does? If it's just that she's really fun, and you're always associating her with fun or good memories, isn't that an emotional connection on some level?
funonthaside
•
a year ago
^ It's that she offers consistent experience (whatever that may be). The targeted goal/experience varies among PLs, and may even vary for a specific PL from day to day. It's why many of us have multiple clubs and girls in our rotations.

Each PL clubs for a different reason.

Sometimes we want adventure, and to roll the dice on an outcome; other times, we want to know we can go to the club, get the experience we want, then go home having fulfilled that goal.

rickdugan
•
a year ago
This is way too much thinking for me, lol.

Can't a guy just want to enjoy boobs and beer and, on a good night, bust a nut in a pretty young woman? :)
solemnfarrow
•
a year ago
Nah too much thinking, just thought it was a good discussion 😉
StripclubRando
•
a year ago
Sometimes, can't help but think of it as a spectrum (with a slider bar).

On one side, you have 100% pure, transactional events. On the other side, you've got... traditional marriage, perhaps.

Doesn't have to be marriage. Whatever it is that makes the most sense for the "opposite" of the purely transactional- it would likely allow for the murkiest timing when it comes to payments and whatever upsides a man typically gets in a "relationship".

So you could be paying huge sums upfront for a lifetime of "relationship", or you could be paying big random lump sums all throughout (while the "relationship" lasts), or you could be paying a giant back-loaded balloon payment (the Western divorce law model that's all the rage these days). And of course, it could be a blend of all of these things.

In the end, you pay. Sure, the timing of payments could be heavily distorted to the extent that you can now call your togetherness "real" or at least more "real" than other folks where their payments fall closer to each micro-instance of "benefit".

Reason why I think this holds, even for most run-of-the-mill marriages -- just try losing your job while not having much passive income. Just try it, and see. Eventually, you're no longer holding up your end of the bargain (it feels this way to me, at least). You're failing to pay up. There may be a delay, but you'll often find yourself headed to the back-loaded balloon payment outcome in real short order.

Folks call it something else, sure. But you're still paying, more often than not.

Yes, there are exceptions, but I'm talking about the hump of the curve, where most of us will find ourselves.
funonthaside
•
a year ago
Well, many of us end up paying for both present time fun girls while also risking the balloon payment when the SO discovers our hobby.
ilbbaicnl
•
a year ago
I try to be respectful and considerate. And, within reason, supportive. But I don't expect them to actually like me (beyond seeing me as an OK PL), and I avoid thinking about how much they like me. That's as much fantasy as I need for it to be good for me.
jamesonrocks
•
a year ago
Over the years, I’ve had certain girls that “only do this with you” and I usually will brush it off. More recently, my regular is a no extras girl. She’s young but an ace at stripper talk and faux affection/intimacy. Great lap dances. But over the course of time, we moved to making out/FIV, and very recently BBFS. She won’t give or receive oral. Also, from what I know of her life, she’s not messy, not an alcoholic/druggie, seemingly girl next door who happens to be a stripper. I’m remembering to tell myself that it’s still just normal stripper stuff that she’s feeding me. But this one will be hard to get over and replace.
Mate27
•
a year ago
ECB authentic feelings fade for civilian relationships, so the p4p game holds more disclosure for either party. Now can you partake guilt free is the ultimate question?
funonthaside
•
a year ago
Gotta love the "only with you" girls.

Many instances, but my favorite was when an OTC date showed up with a bag of tricks, and had a seemingly choreographed activities agenda.
now_starring
•
a year ago
I do like things to be personal to an extent. It makes conversations easier.

However I only ever see myself as the "club bf".

Even if we hang out outside the club I separate "Amy" from "Sapphire(her club persona)".

Does "hang out" mean OTC to help her pay bills? No. It just means hangout.

OTC's are business transactions, even if we both enjoy it.

The strippers I've gotten to know on a personal level always had a separation of business from non-business interactions, at least with me, and there never any SS to get over outside the club. SS was only in the club but I saw it as part of her job.

Some guys may get confused if a stripper is a very friendly or charismatic person.

I made a promise to myself that I'd step away from a stripper if I started to entertain thoughts of a relationship, or wanting to save anyone.

I've seen enough stories from others that I want no part of that experience.
Maximust
•
a year ago
I had a recent long term experience with a dancer which evolved into a friendship. She claimed I only do these FS things with me which I knew was BS. We fantasized about both up and moving out of country to start a new life. We both knew it was pure fantasy but was always fun to imagine. She recently up and vanished with word to anyone. Surprised her dancer friends and buds but maybe she felt it was best to break away and leave all of your baggage behind.
Hank Moody
•
a year ago
Maybe someone with better search skills can find it, but the post (article?) written by FarmerArt’s brother and FA’s posts about his ATF are instructive here. Not to spoil a great/tragic story for any new members who aren’t familiar with it, but FA was a wealthy member who traveled the US and Canada in his RV. He had a long time favorite with whom he had a connection. When he died, one of the things he did was leave a bunch of cash (literally, cash paper currency) for his brother to dispense to various people, including his ATF. After a great deal of diligent sleuthing the brother managed to find the ATF, who was every bit the picture of an aging person who’d led a hard life and wasn’t especially well off. When told of FA’s passing and given $250k in (untraceable and tax free if she didn’t want to declare it) cash that he’d left her, her response was barely grateful. Not typical in magnitude, but perhaps an indicator that PL’s can be victims of wanting to believe there’s a connection where there is merely a transactional relationship.
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