The Anatomy of a Strip Club

You left out the most important category for most TUSCLERs
Mileage

Add bathrooms

Valet parking.
Shot girls.
Massage girls.
Smoking.
Hookah.
Food.

ATM's

Patio

Tits and Ass. Boobs and Booty. Breasts and Butts.

I guess instead of "bar" I could've said "alcohol allowed" on premises.

I'm kind of confused because you said they are the same and then listed a bunch of traits that can vary a lot by the club.

I get what you're saying, but fundamentally everything is the same if you break it down far enough or in the right way. An Olive Garden has 6 of those 10 things, I wouldn't call an Olive Garden 60% the same as a strip club. If you wanna be real dumb, it's all protons/neutrons/electrons and is therefor exactly the same. I could make a list of things that make a cock and a pussy the same, they're both skin, blood vessels, and nerves. They ain't the same though.

Yeah, I suppose it's like an Olive Garden is an Orange and Strip Clubs are Apples.

I've hundreds and hundreds of those particular apples, so I'm getting to the point where to me an apple is an apple. I didn't say that a parking lot with forced valet and traffic cones is the same as a gravel patch with a bunch of potholes, but they both are part of the venue.

When I go to a club now, the only things I'm really paying attention to anymore are girls, pricing, and vibe unless something is way off with the other stuff. And I only care about pricing to sort out if I'm carrying enough for multiple go rounds or I only get one pick.

^What does an Olive Garden and a strip club have in common?

For a nice tip, you can have someone toss your salad!

I think another important factor is what type of dipping sauce is served with their chackin fangers and if they don’t even serve chackin fangers then there’s no point having a conversation about that club to begin with.

I don't really get this at all. No two clubs are exactly the same, which is precisely why I continue to enjoy trying new clubs. Positioning those first seven traits as "the same" completely misses so many important nuances in each one of those categories which can completely alter the look, feel and overall experience of a club visit.

Wall, as I've always said, I'll never tell another grown man how to spend his time and money. But if your club experiences are all blurring together in some homogenous block, then maybe it's time to think differently about how you approach this. Maybe invest a little more time in some of your club stops, or at least the ones you are enjoying and get the lay of the land better, IDK.

Heck, the diversity of the girls alone, especially when one travels to different geographic regions, can make a big difference. I've enjoyed countless fresh experiences with women spanning a variety of ethnicities, cultural attitudes and even local accents that I would never have had were it not for strip clubs. About the only thing I have yet to experience is a full blooded native American girl, which is on my bucket list, and I intend to fix that someday with a road-trip to some of the finer Oklahoma clubs.

Anyway, just my two cents fwiw.

The dancers all ask the same questions about where you work and live and what your hobbies are. A lot of strip clubs have television screens showing the same sports. There does seem to be a sameness to them all. Owners don't seem to have much imagination and there is not much experimentation in the industry. They tend not to target specific markets, at least here in Indiana. There are some black strip clubs here. A few clubs try to be more upscale but a lot of times this just means higher prices but not better-looking dancers. Almost all target younger customers and the customer base skews in that direction. None of the Boomer musical idols are ever played.

Doesn't this apply to everything though? It's like saying all fast food restaurants are the same. They all got burgers, fries, soda machines, cashiers, drive-throughs, bathrooms with graffiti all over the walls, homeless guy begging for change, etc.

And you can say the same thing about lots of other places. In fact, name a type of business that isn't the same as all the others of it's kind.

Having spent a little time clubbing and philosophizing with Wall, I’ll take a stab at being the Wall Whisperer. He’s been doing this for decades and isn’t that old. He’s seen and done a lot. I think his point - other than provoking thought and conversation about the hobby, which he enjoys - is that all the clubs are different, but those differences don’t matter. When you’ve done it long enough, as he said in one of his later posts above, all that matters is the girls, pricing and vibe. Everything else is just there and can be ignored if the big three are right.

I've been to a couple of clubs that didn't appear to have any girls. Just a bartender saying, "Someone should be here soon."

Is that there were no girls when you showed or the club just lied and never had girls? That'd be pretty hilarious if a "club" advertised girls but didn't have any. I've stuck around a club where a girl was getting ready in the back, but unless I need someplace to sit while looking for another club (on travel) I won't sit in strip club with no girls.