Should I give her another chance?

Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer

Sunday, March 12, 2023 7:01 PM

OK this pertains to an SA girl, but it could easily be an OTC stripper. I met up with a girl last night who I am just ridiculously attracted to. It was a meet n greet, which we did at a nice restaurant. At first the meetup was going great, but as the dinner moved along an we each had a few drinks, it was increasingly obvious that she was becoming seriously impaired. I had suspected that she had a few before I picked her up, but I couldn't be sure as I did not know what was normal for her. But now I'm sure as those few drinks alone should not have been enough to do this to her. It was so bad by the end of dinner that I had to help her out of the restaurant and into the car. Obviously my plan to bring her to the hotel was shot. I may be a lot of things, but I won't take advantage of a girl who can't consent. During the ride home she was upset that I wasn't going to continue the date, at least before she got loopy and started talking to people who weren't in the car, but hell no. I won't lie that I was briefly tempted, but my better instincts won out. Now I know it wasn't opioids because of her behavior before the additional drinks and the difference in how mixing alcohol with them would have looked. Sadly I have had a bit of experience with that, especially during the bad years here in J'ville. Nope, this girl was just straight up hammered. So I brought her home, gave her a consolation payment and helped her to the door. Then this morning she texts me. At first she acted a little indignant, but quickly went to apologizing when I told her exactly what she was doing and saying, including flashing her very nice tits at me when there were people sitting behind me. Now she wants another chance. It's not something I would normally consider, but everything else about this girl is so incredible that I'm probably going to do it. She is very pretty, has a small yet luscious little body, is charming as hell and overall just incredibly sexy and alluring. She was a blast to be with right until things went south, during which time I had been contemplating all the things I was going to do with her at our next stop. One last thing I should add. She texts me a lot. I mean like a bit too much. It's like she doesn't want to go more than an hour or two out of touch with me. I'm sensing that she's seeking approval and affirmation from me. Now mind you this is a girl that I have not slept with yet. Now there are plenty of warning lights flashing here, but I can't stop thinking about how incredibly attractive she is, and sexy, and charming in a hot kitten-like way, etc. Am I letting the little head do too much of the thinking for me? I'm curious as to what others here might do in a similar situation.

55 comments

54kevin
•
a year ago
It depends on how well you handle drama. I don't do well it so she would be a pass for me.
drewcareypnw
•
a year ago
You know that she has a drinking and bad behavior problem. You could manage that with a strict "no booze" demand prior to the next date, and monitor the situation during dinner. You know that she is needy and will text you too much. You could manage that with a phone number block to go along with your final goodbye. So, you could conceivably fuck this girl a few times and then ditch her when the drama inevitably resurfaces. The question I would encourage you to consider is: what new level of crazy will she reach once you've actually fucked her?
sinclair
•
a year ago
I think some of these girls self medicate on purpose. If they are sober, they start to feel icky about meeting a random guy off the internet and fucking him for money. If she pops some Molly and gulps a few drinks, the inhibitions go away.
CJKent_band
•
a year ago
@rickdugan I will play along and comment on your discussion. Q: Should I give her another chance? A: You should if you can handle the situation and you are sure she won’t go “crazy” when the “relationship” ends. In this type of “relationships” someone has to take the lead, usually the man has to take control and make the relationship “work”, by making sure he sets the boundaries and rules and makes sure she understands that he will not allow disrespectful, inappropriate behavior. You don’t have to walk away, just learn how to deal in a positive way with the girl. I have a two strikes and you are out policy when dealing with people, including strippers, but I tell them in advance about it. Like they say everyone deserves a second chance. “People can learn from their mistakes—and when you give them a second opportunity, you allow them to demonstrate this. It's practical and saves emotional energy.” Remember it is up to YOU: “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” Build a good relationship; use positive reinforcement, reward appropriate behavior, and walk away when their behavior is not appropriate. Make sure she understands that you are the man in the relationship and you are providing and protecting her in exchange for her love/affection during the time you are together. Good luck, be careful out there and don’t forget: Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen. :D
rickdugan
•
a year ago
===> "The question I would encourage you to consider is: what new level of crazy will she reach once you've actually fucked her?" That's exactly what's on my mind as well. Normally this would be an easy decision, but this girl just rings my bell so much. I'm starting to think that I'm attracted to crazy. 😆
misterorange
•
a year ago
Next time just set it up so you fuck first and have dinner later.
funonthaside
•
a year ago
Yes, she's hot.. But, from what I can tell from prior posts from you, you have been with hot girls in the past, and likely will continue to do so. There will be hot girls which come with a lower level of crazy. We seek out SA girls and strippers because they are generally more fun than civvies. We can get drama from our normal lives' women. Why mix drama and fun?
twentyfive
•
a year ago
This is the type of insanity that will get you in trouble, as much as you think you can manage her, I doubt she'll be manageable after you've hit it a few times, I avoid nesters and crazy nesters are dangerous.
drewcareypnw
•
a year ago
@rick “ I'm starting to think that I'm attracted to crazy. ” lol. But, if that’s the kink, then that’s the kink. We can’t choose what we like. I guess it just becomes a matter of limiting the impact of a known eventuality. What makes for a super easy, ready to pull at any time ripcord? Actually, that idea is interesting to me. What would you do to prepare for cutting a potentially complicated girl loose, to make it so that you could do it very quickly and cleanly with no or very low chance of her impacting your life, finding, or contacting you again?
bang69
•
a year ago
Move on.
jaybud999
•
a year ago
This should be a pass, based on the excessive texting. OR You let her know that she's going to have to prove herself to you. That would require three things: a) gag reflex training, b) swallowing, and c) 500 Kegels a day to maintain herself for you. OR You go back to the first choice and pass, because she sounds like a mess. A mess to be molded.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
===> "What would you do to prepare for cutting a potentially complicated girl loose, to make it so that you could do it very quickly and cleanly with no or very low chance of her impacting your life, finding, or contacting you again?" That's where SA is a bit easier than an OTC stripper. With an SA girl I just block her SA profile and then block her on my phone. I can't host for obvious reasons, so they never have my home address. My cell number is also a dead end, which I know because I've run both free and paid searches on it. Same basic premise with an OTC stripper, though the challenge there is the potential for additional contact ITC.
drewcareypnw
•
a year ago
^and I guess you don’t give them your real or full name? How does that work with the background checks you are able to do on them? I would have thought that you would have gotten their full name to run the check. Thx
rickdugan
•
a year ago
Sometimes they get my real last name, but what are they going to do with that? I have no online or social media presence whatsoever except for a couple of listings on professional sites for the business that I own, so no employer to out me to and no gateway to my personal life. You also won't find me in any court filings. All of this is by design drew. I use my company VOIP number for anything that might get published online, which btw is also a dead end except to the aforementioned business listings, and I have zero personal social media presence. I don't want to toot my own horn drew, but I was dogging around back when all of this stuff was first getting popular and I realized even back then that my activities required an extra amount of discretion. Even my business listings don't lead to my current primary operations office. Now if a girl is motivated enough to follow me home then she'll have me, but anything short of that I'll just wish her bonne chance cause she won't find me using the methods I use to find them. 😉
Dolfan
•
a year ago
If she's young ish, and never done this sort of thing before, I can kinda forgive the drinking without too much thought. I don't enjoy being around habitually fucked up people, I cut them out of my life pretty quickly, especially when its an easy case like that. But, I'd give her another chance if that was the only or largest concern. She may have been just nervous and had a few pre-game drinks and lost track, it happens. If it becomes a pattern, that's when its time to walk. The constant texting can be an issue, but again it's not something I'd cut her off for immediately. I'd just simply respond on my own terms and see if she gets the hint and adjusts. If she doesn't take the hint, or you prefer a more direct approach, that sometimes works too. I've encountered a number of strippers who are used to high maintenance customers who actually like or demand that sort of constant interaction, so they're doing it because they think its expected or required. I've made the mistake of indulging it a few times, but I've since learned most times once they realize I don't need to talk to them like they're my new girlfriend things normalize at a sane freqency. Only you can judge if that's the situation, vs her being genuinely looking for attention and positive reinforcement. I don't mind a lot of texts from a stripper but I can't stand the ones who get upset if I don't respond quickly, the ones that are actually seeking that approval. I'm not looking for that sort of shit with a stripper, in fact that's a large part of the entanglement I'm specifically seeking to avoid. If those are her genuine expectations then there's got to be a whole hell of a lot of compensating factors to get me to put up with it. But, hot enough, good enough in bed, and maybe I'd tolerate it, at least for a while.
ilbbaicnl
•
a year ago
If there's going to be a second chance, make it clear that if she has more than two drinks, all you'll pay is the restaurant bill, and the date will end at the restaurant (other than perhaps helping her get home safely).
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
a year ago
No. Cut her loose and move on.
JamesSD
•
a year ago
Is it plausible she is on some kind of medication that reacts with alcohol? ADHD meds and antidepressants can react with booze. I'll be totally honest, I would go for it. The fact she is seeking validation suggests she isn't only seeking cash. This girl clearly isn't a ROB and frankly is kind of bad at this hustle. Other dudes might get too entangled and start falling for the pity hustle but I know enough about your situation to know that's unlikely for you. You can handle her.
Uprightcitizen
•
a year ago
Xanax + alcohol will do this. I ended an SA arrangement over that shitshow.
Uprightcitizen
•
a year ago
The crazy-hot matrix may be your best guide as to how to proceed
ATACdawg
•
a year ago
I'd probably go for it, but I'd check under the bed for ice picks first......
shadowcat
•
a year ago
I wouldn't but that's just me.
Jdo11
•
a year ago
Cut all contact now. If she gets her psychosis and substance abuse situation handled and wants to do sex work as a means to supplement her income then she can be approached again. As she is now, she's not capable of making sound decisions and is liable to make use of your disposable income to fund her sa and make decisions that will jeopardize her independence.
Muddy
•
a year ago
We'd have to see actually how hot she is. Me personally, if this is like a 9 I'll hang in there. Relative to the stripper/sb world this really ain't that bad.
Jascoi
•
a year ago
she seems worth another attempt...
rockie
•
a year ago
You efforted the discussion and the first encounter, what's one more spin down the avenue of intrigue?
Warrior15
•
a year ago
Rick. Think of the movie Fatal Attraction.
Cashman1234
•
a year ago
I would cut her off immediately. She sounds like a girl with a drinking problem and a clingy type too. That type can make for a great OTC fuck. But the last thing you need is to come home and find her boiling your kids bunny on the stove…
rickdugan
•
a year ago
Now this incredible little vixen is asking me if I can do sleepovers and regaling me with how much she likes me and how much chemistry we had. All the while I'm remembering just how utterly incredible she looked and how charming she was when I took her out the other night. OK, little head wins. I'm going to take one more run at this. I'll let y'all know how it goes. 😅
CJKent_band
•
a year ago
Remember to be careful out there and; Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen. :D
Uprightcitizen
•
a year ago
Well we dont have Gawker posting much anymore so I support your decision to proceed.
twentyfive
•
a year ago
Are you going to be our new version of Gawker, he’s actually a good guy, but he does have a tendency to become overly attached.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
^ I doubt it 25, lol. But I'll know soon enough. My final attempt at this is tomorrow night.
busta_nut
•
a year ago
Run Forrest, Run.. You have a Stage 5 Psycho Clinger.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
^ I think you may be right busta. She texts me several time a day. She didn't want to stop holding my hand at dinner and randomly initiated kissing at different points, the first time in the parking lot before we went in. She even made a joke to the waitress that we'd come back again to celebrate out engagement. All signs that she may not be quite right in the head. But then I think of how she looked, and how she felt, and how she smelled, and overall just how much she turned me on, and I can't seem to help myself. I have to give it one more shot. I suspect that she's going to be great in bed if I can get her there. I guess I'll just have to keep my eyes open when I drive home and make sure I'm not followed, lmao.
twentyfive
•
a year ago
Well you have fun 😁😁😁
Hank Moody
•
a year ago
You need to slip her whatever a reverse rufee is called and keep her sober. Tell her you’re ordering vodka sodas for her and tip the bartender to go easy on the vodka. We all like to stick our dicks in crazy every so often.
Cashman1234
•
a year ago
I understand letting the other head do the talking. I wish you the best Rick Dugan. Hopefully you will have a great time - and I hope the girl won’t be so clingy.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
OK, I finally got her into a hotel room and it was a shit show. I'm not going to get into specifics, but she wants a much bigger commitment from me than just money in order to give up the whole enchilada. She wanted me to stay the night with her, which I just can't do because I have kids at home, and make certain other promises. All of this actually started at dinner, where he kept probing what I really wanted from this and asking if this could evolve into something that wasn't about money. She also clearly has some mental health issues. Tics started showing up. I'm actually convinced now that she's falling asleep after a bit of alcohol not because she's pre-gaming, but because she's on some heavy duty psyche meds. Now I will say that her body does indeed look good undressed, but this shit ain't worth it. EJECT EJECT EJECT. I left the room after she fell asleep in the bed, after only a couple of glasses of wine this time. I covered her up, tiptoed out and went to the local titty bar to lick my wounds, lol. Then an hour later I received a text with "Can't believe you left." I was a bit annoyed by then and sent her a long-ish text about how she was turning simple into something complicated. She responded with a string of texts: "I don't understand" "I want to see you tomorrow again" "I want to be with you" "Only you" Fuck. Glad I got out of there while she was sleeping.
funonthaside
•
a year ago
I hope you booked the room under her name.
twentyfive
•
a year ago
Don’t say you weren’t warned 🤣🤣🤣
Hank Moody
•
a year ago
It was worth it. Now you’ll never wonder.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
===> "It was worth it. Now you’ll never wonder." Exactly. Until last night I was a bit intoxicated by her. This really cleared my head. I'll never sit there wondering what I might have missed out on. I have to admit though that I was tempted to tell her whatever she needed to hear to get inside her, but I just couldn't do it. The ironic part is that she got hers already, which was probably yet another mistake on my part - for multiple reasons.
mickey48066
•
a year ago
For your own safety, please stay out of the clubs and not arrange meetings with sugar babies. Let's hope she didn't share details about you with her associates. If they want to find you, they will, regardless of your best practices. I hope nothing bad comes from this long term.
drewcareypnw
•
a year ago
if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck!
drewcareypnw
•
a year ago
Reading your night-of synopsis again... you didn't actually fuck her, did you?
rickdugan
•
a year ago
No drew I did not, but I'm glad that I didn't.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
Well at least partly glad. Fortunately my big head did some of the thinking for me.
drewcareypnw
•
a year ago
Wow! So after all that lead in, she gets naked and falls asleep in the hotel bed. You definitely got a gift from the universe. Nice that there was a titty bar nearby to provide comfort.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
There was a lot that happened in between her getting naked and falling asleep. But yes, her falling asleep was definitely a lucky break.
Call.Me.Ishmael
•
a year ago
So, my general experience with meet-ups, meet & greets, OTC dates, etc., is that most dancers try to be on their absolute best behavior, because they want repeat business and to get paid. So, if they can't contain their crazy for the duration of a dinner and drinks, then that tells me that I'm looking at the tip of their uncontrollable crazy iceberg over a plate of prawns. And that's why I bail immediately. Now, I can't say that I've always bailed in time, but I made that mistake only a couple of times. Which is enough for me.
Dolfan
•
a year ago
Sometimes when you win, you really lose, and sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Sometimes, when you give a bitch you think might be crazy a second chance, you find out just how crazy she really is. I still think the 2nd chance was the right move, as was said earlier, now you know.
Cashman1234
•
a year ago
It’s good that you were able to get away without incident. That girl has issues, and hopefully she won’t continue to be so clingy. Sometimes that type of girl doesn’t take a hint - and sometimes the hint is telling her to stay away.
rickdugan
•
a year ago
She sent me 10 more texts yesterday, but finally it seems to have sunk in. The early texts were promising all sorts of fun things that I won't detail here and I'll admit that I was so backed up from my misadventures with her that I was sorely tempted to hop in the car and see her. But by the end of the day, she seemed to get the message. After all of this I very much needed something easy and fun. So I had dinner and then some ridiculous farmyard sex last night with an utterly age-inappropriate 21 year old girl. Head finally completely clear, lol. I normally don't like to go too young, but lately my dealings with girls in their 30s have really been getting weird. This is the second girl in the last couple of months who started looking for something more from me, though at least the first one waited a few weeks. I may need to readjust my thinking on my target age range for SBs moving forward.
rickthelion
•
a year ago
^ Good for you brother. Remember the “rick out” plan. Next time you have a girl sayin’ shit like those texts: "I don't understand" "I want to see you tomorrow again" "I want to be with you" "Only you" Just text back: “Yeah I needed to attend a council of ricks meeting. We discussed you and we can continue being together if you agree to a rickbang. This will involve group sex with me, a lion, a vulture, a shark, and a barnacle. What do you say?” If she says no you’re rid of her. If she says yes you’re gonna have one helluva night. ROAR!!!

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