Extended Pity Hustle
rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
Don't get me wrong, her needs were genuine. She first asked me for a small amount to feed her kids and get to work and a week later asked for a hotel room to get her and the kids out of the house for a couple of days for domestic reasons. Without getting into specifics, I know she used the hotel room for the purpose she claimed. I knew that there was a decent chance that I was getting played, but the two asks combined cost me less that I would have paid her for a single OTC outing and she really has spent a lot of time with me ITC, so it seemed fair.
But now, when she believes the hook is set, a bigger ask comes in. I've received countless texts regarding her upcoming rent payment. My response of course was to give her a way to earn it. In fact, to add to the backdrop, I've given her several opportunities, which she agreed to but then she cancelled each time, usually with some elaborate excuse. It's pretty clear that she doesn't want to do it, probably because she has both a baby daddy still in the picture and an ongoing romance with another dancer in the same club.
Again, I believe that her need is genuine. There were more girls than guys in the club over the weekend and, tbh, she's not really a natural floor hustler to begin with. But she's done nothing to make me want to make it my problem, which I don't think she's processing from the texts she's still sending. I am not the type to turn up the heat and pressure a girl to put out for her rent money when she clearly doesn't want to, but I'm not running a charity either. SMH.
Anyway, some of you salty vets will no doubt comment that I put myself in this spot by agreeing to those first two asks and you're 100% right. It's something I never do and I have standard responses when requests like this come in. But I've enjoyed talking with this girl over many weeks and the numbers weren't that big until now. Lesson re-learned as to why one should never do this. I've obviously given her the impression that I'm a mark.
Let it never be said that I don't own up to my own mistakes on here, lol.
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33 comments
Walk away. The requests will keep coming.
But no worries, I've already found solace elsewhere. Actually a couple of elsewheres, lol. But it's too bad because I really wanted this one. C'est la vie.
Can you do a Reverse Solomon and invite her dancer partner? The last time I had two girls who were also lovers it was like playing twister trying to get at the girl I wanted because the girl I liked less was in her feelings, but you never know. They might both go both ways and it's doubly fun.
I think it’s difficult for some strippers to realize when a guy is firmly done giving her money. There are likely many more guys who say no, and who weaken and give in.
Based on your description of what happened, it seems you haven’t spent too much, so that’s good. She’s likely not interested in OTC, as you’ve described her elaborate excuses (usually the more elaborate the excuse, the bigger the lie).
Maybe it’s best to cut your losses. She’s not getting the message. She’s not a good hustler, and that might be why (she’s not giving up), as she may have a limited set of guys to hit up for money.
After what happened on Saturday, you'd think that she'd get that the hustle is played out, but apparently not. She finally responded to my Saturday blowoff text this morning with another round of vague BS excuses followed by her fears about her rent. I guess I'm just going to let my non-response to the texts do the talking for me 'cause I have no more bandwidth for any more pointless exchanges with her.
This just goes to show that even the most experienced and cynical clubhound can have his discipline challenged when he meets the type of girl that really rings his bell. As has always been the case for me, the key is to recognize when it's going too far and to pull back before I waste a lot of money for nothing.
It’s like “girl! I want you, I’ll pay you, but quit screwing up! I only have so much patience!!!”
But, in this case, the dancer doesn’t seem to understand that Rick isn’t giving any more out, and that’s the issue. She wants more free money, and Rick isn’t offering any more.
Sadly, she may be a one trick pony, and she isn’t taking the hint.
She's doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing, hustling to make her money. I'm the one who played into it even while recognizing what it was. I did this even as it was becoming clear that she was not going to pull the trigger on OTC. Since her need is genuine and we have enough rapport that she knows I'm not an axe murderer, there must be something pretty powerful keeping her from saying yes, whatever that is. I'm never going to criticize a girl for not accepting an OTC offer from me. It's a very personal decision involving access to her body.
I'm probably on a somewhat similar journey right now. I'm a few weeks behind I think, not quite far enough along to know if mine will work out, and I've not given her anything even approaching an amount that would concern me. In fact, if anything she's underplayed her hand and if she'd have not asked me for help buying some household items I'd almost certainly have simply tipped her a greater amount than what she's asked for. I just for some reason have low confidence that this one will pan out so she's on a shorter leash than normal, probably due to the extremely short time between when we exchanged numbers and when she went into the asking for "help." The big difference between the situations is, we've already been together ITC. I haven't asked yet, but OTC is a minor leap. If she's game for that, and doesn't try to get greedy, it could be a good match for both of us.
I don't think these sorts of situations are inherently bad or that you made a mistake. I don't even I explicitly avoid them. I am judicious with the amount I'll extend myself, but I'm willing to gamble. Like you said though, the key is recognizing before it gets out of hand and having the discipline to simply cut bait and throw out a fresh line. I know I've got the discipline recognize it and to do it if & when the time comes.
From a broader human perspective, you helped a person who isn't a bad person (even if you had motives...). One can only be so critical.
I have given in to those types of requests before as a way to build towards an OTC opportunity down the line. Personally I try to stick to amounts that I would be willing to give as a tip for a good conversation or as the tip for a good vip session without extras. Generally somewhere around $100-200 depending on the girl and the costs in that area but each person needs to set a limit they are comfortable with in these situations.
Once I reach my limit I have to decide if she is going to agree to an otc arrangement or not. If she is, great! If not, time to cut bait and move on to the next one.
As a teenager, having a car and taking a girl somewhere or giving her a ride home was almost a guaranteed way to get at least a blowie. Maybe the girls in my high school were just sluts. In college, the ticket to slutville was having my own apartment with an in-unit washer/dryer. I can't tell ya how many girls came over to do their laundry and decided to throw what they were wearing in machine too. Come to think of it, that actually still works with a lot of strippers. They love to come over and do laundry and can't resist the urge to throw in what they're wearing. Once there is a naked stripper in the house, nature just takes its course.
You wrote and I quote:
“ They (strippers) love to come over and do laundry and can't resist the urge to throw in what they're wearing.”
Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen.
:D
Good Times, Good Times.
I knew from the very first ask that she was running an escalation pity hustle and I played into it for my own reasons. I've been doing this for a long time and I doubt there's a hustle I haven't seen several times over in clubs all over the country. My philosophy has always been similar to yours, but in this rare instance there were other factors regarding the girl that led me to give it a shot. It didn't pan out - so be it. I went in eyes wide open. Ultimately it didn't cost me much and I definitely don't begrudge helping those kids get out of a bad domestic situation.
But, as you rightly stated, it had the consequence of putting me in the "mark" category in her head, which is always a risk in these situations. C'est la vie.
Because of this, I would always move on if a female didn't show an immediate interest in me. Trying to win her over if I wasn't her type never seemed to work.
Nah. While a good many of these girls know the deal, there are a significant percentage who don't want to face that fact. On average, the latter are the kind of girls I want to spend time with, and saying the semantic equivalent of "hey whore..." isn't in my nature.
If you're not interested in the girls who don't think of themselves as hookers, then you do you. I'll continue to be circumspect about the whole thing.
She didn't do anything to deserve being treated with that kind of disrespect. She knows where I stand. She's a decent girl trying to navigate a lot of shit right now, including her kids and her romantic entanglements. There's no call for me to treat her like a cheap disposable whore, which she most definitely is not.
You should probably stick to topics like your premature ejaculation issues and how you believe inflation is no longer a problem. I mean you sound stupid in those threads too, but there are degrees of stupid. Just sayin Mate. 😉
Good posts from dogchain and docsavage