Things to never say to a stripper

shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
You'll like this slide show:

https://www.theonion.com/things-to-never…

34 comments

Latest

Mike Rotch
2 years ago
That list sucks. But here's one: "Nice tattoo, it really covers up the stretch marks."
Dolfan
2 years ago
Most of the chicks in that slideshow are pretty hot
Cashman1234
2 years ago
It is an interesting list - but I was hoping for more hard hitting insights! Lol!
gammanu95
2 years ago
The chicks were hot, mostly, but the comments were lame AF. Not witty, relevant, original, or realistic.
rickdugan
2 years ago
That was brutally bad.
rickdugan
2 years ago
Here's a few I came up with on the fly. Feel free to add.

1. "I think lots of stretch marks are sexy on a gal."

2. "Congratulations! When's your due date?"

3. "Good for you for staying natural! Bleaching butt holes is way overrated."

4. "Your boobs remind me of when I used to chase after my little bro with a softball in a tube sock."

5. "You have great birthing hips."

6. "How long until you graduate college so you can stop doing this?"

7. "You remind me of my daughter. Wanna go to the back?"

8. "I bet you make great babies. Wanna go to the back?"

9. "Why should I pay you when the club already is?"

10. "Some guys might not like meat curtains but I love 'em!"
Dolfan
2 years ago
"You remind me of my daughter. Wanna go to the back?"

^ I fucking heard that one once. I didn't believe I actually heard it, but after they went back I asked the bartender and we both confirmed each others fears. The guy is a regular at BT, I still see him in there from time to time & both laugh and vomit a little.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
The list isn't funny...

How about

I'll pay to fuck if you're low on rent

gSteph
2 years ago
Oh, that's hilarious 🤣
Mike Rotch
2 years ago
"I usually support single moms but in your case I will support single grandmas."

Specialj
2 years ago
Probably not a good idea to ask a stripper for tips
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Never pull a rickdugan and be like

After I pay to fuck you imma go on tuscl and gloat about how I paid you but you're not a hooker and I'm your only trick. Then I'll berate you like the dirty cum dump you are.


Please cry after I fuck you. That turns me on. I always brag about it on tuscl when I make hookers cry.
TheeOSU
2 years ago
'Things to never say to a stripper'



Short on time, didn't follow the link or read comments, later.
But I see dougee posted and here's what to never say to anyone..
hi, my name is dougster but you can call me icey, lulz
rickdugan
2 years ago
^Icee, are you educating us again honey? It's always cute when a 20-something year old girl shares her deep wisdom with guys twice her age and with 50 times her experience. Keep up the good work kiddo. 😉

Also honey you're confused about what I do. I treat everyone with kindness, including when I offer to give a grown woman what some people earn in a week for a couple of hours of entertainment. If that's somehow bad in your eyes then so be it. But just because you have sexual PTSD issues doesn't mean that everybody is carrying your baggage.

You are free to believe that any woman who has a financial need is utterly incapable of making her own informed decision, but I do not. We all work for money, whatever the job. Don't belittle or denigrate others (such as by calling them hookers) who are willing to make different choices than you by treating them as helpless victims. It's absurdly condescending and more than a little misogynistic, or at least it would be if you were actually a guy. Shame on you.

Btw this whole conversation is ludicrous given that you first came on here pretending to be a pimp who was selling his crack ho GF's ass out the back door. Seriously now honey. But I digress.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Never say I'm just showing you kindness. Be grateful for me paying to fuck you when you're desperate for cash. Now I'll brag about jt on tuscl and berate you. Remember my kindness though
rickdugan
2 years ago
Icee, if by "berating" you mean treating everyone with kindness and offering to give a grown woman what some people earn in a week for a couple of hours of entertainment, then by all means keep using that word. Just because you have sexual PTSD issues doesn't mean that everybody is carrying your baggage.

You are free to believe that any woman who has a financial need is utterly incapable of making her own informed decision, but I do not. We all work for money, whatever the job. Don't belittle or denigrate others (such as by calling them hookers) who are willing to make different choices than you by treating them as helpless victims. It's absurdly condescending and more than a little misogynistic, or at least it would be if you were actually a guy. Shame on you.

Btw this whole conversation is ludicrous given that you first came on here pretending to be a pimp who was selling his crack ho GF's ass out the back door. Seriously now honey. But I digress.
Call.Me.Ishmael
2 years ago
Over 90% of the articles I see about strip clubs are written by and for people who never go to strip clubs.
herbtcat
2 years ago
Somewhat disturbing that The Onion, a full-blown satire site, felt it was a politically-correct requirement to call them "Strip Club Performers" rather than "strippers," or "dancers" or "handjob engineers," or "garage band girlfriends," "SMF Members" (SMF=Single Mothers Fund), or "Splooge Dodgers,'...

Missed opportunity?
twentyfive
2 years ago
^ Garage Band Girlfriends
That’s a great one. I just may use that LOL
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Please don't leave me like my 2 ex wives and kids did. I'm a cosplay millionaire


I'll pay to fuck you but then publicly berate you to make myself feel like I'm better than you. I'll also put your relationship down coz I feel inadequate. So I'll say I'm a mind family man doing you a favor but you prefer delegates coz you're a harlot
rickdugan
2 years ago
Icee, if by "berating" you mean treating everyone with kindness and offering to give a grown woman what some people earn in a week for a couple of hours of entertainment, then by all means keep using that word. Just because you have sexual PTSD issues doesn't mean that everybody is carrying your baggage.

Also, time and again you pull my family into the discussion when you know nothing about my home situation. You're an angry child and you're out of line. Your personal baggage and overall emotional anger do not justify abhorrent behavior like pulling children into adult discussions.

Shame on you.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
I'll berate you online after paying to fuck you. I'll call you a desperate cum dump and tell everyone how I helped you and what a great person I am.
rickdugan
2 years ago
Icee, if by "berating" you mean treating everyone with kindness and offering to give a grown woman what some people earn in a week for a couple of hours of entertainment, then by all means keep using that word. Just because you have sexual PTSD issues doesn't mean that everybody is carrying your baggage.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Here's a link to the article I wrote about "the system" I'm a chemical engineer by the way lulz
rickdugan
2 years ago
Btw this whole conversation is ludicrous given that you first came on here pretending to be a pimp who was selling his crack ho GF's ass out the back door. Seriously now honey. But I digress.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Do you like my white suit? I'll pay to fuck you then go home to my wife and kids. I'm so rich. You're poor and desperate and make me feel so good paying you.
twentyfive
2 years ago
@Rick,
Just put him on ignore if enough people did that he’d dry up and blow away
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Imma put your stripper hoe ass on a winning team bebecita lulz
rickdugan
2 years ago
Icee this whole conversation is ludicrous given that you first came on here pretending to be a pimp who was selling his crack ho GF's ass out the back door. Seriously now honey.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Iost 2 ex wives and my kids ignore me. Please talk to me im a cosplay millionaire


I'm going to use "THE SYSTEM" to get you that's why I'm wearing a white suit. Lying to you about who I am. Pretending I'm being a nice person. But inside I know you're just a desperate cum dumpster in need of cash. That gives me satisfaction before I go home to my wife and kids
rickdugan
2 years ago
You are free to believe that any woman who has a financial need is utterly incapable of making her own informed decision, but I do not. We all work for money, whatever the job. Don't belittle or denigrate others (such as by calling them hookers) who are willing to make different choices than you by treating them as helpless victims. It's absurdly condescending and more than a little misogynistic, or at least it would be if you were actually a guy.

Btw this whole conversation is ludicrous given that you first came on here pretending to be a pimp who was selling his crack ho GF's ass out the back door. Seriously now honey. But I digress.

Also, time and again you pull my family into the discussion when you know nothing about my home situation. You're an angry child and you're out of line. Your personal baggage and overall emotional anger do not justify abhorrent behavior like pulling children into adult discussions.

Shame on you.
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
I'm rickdugan on tuscl. My posts speak for me
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
I'm Ricksugan my posts on tuscl define me. Read them and see who I really am
Icee Loco (asshole)
2 years ago
Another Rick classic

I treat everyone with kindness and respect except for filthy where's like you. Now shut up and put out desperate little girl. I'll throw in an extra 20 if you cry
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