Note to Strippers: When you place a blanket over my lap, you dehumanize me

avatar for Muddy
Muddy
USA
Before a lap dance. As if I'm somebody that can just be swept under a rug. As if I'm just a doormat...worse, even under the doormat to be walked all over and abused. As if I'm too gross and disgusting to even make contact with. A stripper recently did this to me, dropped the blanket on my lap prior, then started dancing. I couldn't believe it, I was screaming on the inside, frozen though and stunned in silence on the outside (well yes aside from the moaning, groaning other various the jizzing in the pants noises, and all that etc. granted) I'll have all of you dancers know I am a person too. I have feelings too. People like me. I cry. I laugh. I love. But now I fear I'll never be the same again. Scarred forever until the next time you wrap me up in a strip club burka.

22 comments

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avatar for Muddy
Muddy
2 years ago
Btw not for nothing, do y'all even clean that thing??? Who's in charge of that?
avatar for docsavage
docsavage
2 years ago
One time I not only had a stripper put a blanket on my lap but she also told me to hold out my hands before the lap dance so she could spray them with disinfectant.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
2 years ago
A blanket - like a Linus blanket?

Not a little hanky ? Wtf?
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
2 years ago
Yeah Linus something like that. Like the kind your grandma would sow you but ain't quite big enough. So one in turn would then use it as some sort of lap dance shield. I liken to the iron dome that Israel was trying to get to protect it's country. And in that case, I'm AOC.
avatar for BubbleYum
BubbleYum
2 years ago
I can understand the disinfectant thing to an extent though. How many guys actually wash their hands after the restroom? (Or maybe is just a Detroit thing for most customers and fraction of dancers to not care about that.) I can understand asking if the customer would like some sanitizer, but I can see how forcing it on someone like that would kill the mood.

There are unfortunately a lot of asshole dancers who are also prudes. The blanket thing is also a buzzkill for the mood. If that happens, honestly, just walk out before the dance even begins. You already know how you'll be treated, so why endure it when your money can go towards a dancer who isn't an asshole. I know I'll probably get shit from others as a dancer suggesting to customers to walk out, but think of it from a customer service angle and insert any service being done (hair, nails, lashes, whatever the fuck) and the person doing the service treats you like that. Fuck that.

And sorry she treated you like that. I admit I did put my robe on a customer's lap once before. But he had just come out of the rain and was wearing jeans and I didn't want a soggy ass. I explained it to him and he was understanding.

avatar for jackslash
jackslash
2 years ago
At least she didn't put a bag over your head.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
2 years ago
It’s been a long time since I encountered anything like that in a lap dance.

I think there was a club in NJ called Hot 22 where there was a concern about nude dances - and contact. The dancers would put some odd cloth (which I’m sure became a jizz rag as the day went on) on customer’s laps - in an apparent attempt to keep from having direct contact.

As I remember it was a nude club - and they didn’t serve alcohol. I made the trip with some filthy coworkers, and once I discovered the no lack of booze thing, I never returned.

I wasn’t dehumanized, but disappointed. I wasn’t interested in making a pre club stop to load up on booze before seeing bare pussy!
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
2 years ago
Maybe she just had a visit from Aunt Flo and was being considerate of your pants?
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
2 years ago
I think your wallet chain and key chain with 58 keys on it left her no choice, she didn’t want to get her g-string entangled with any of that mess.
avatar for IfIGottaBeDamned
IfIGottaBeDamned
2 years ago
I took OP comments as satire. In another thread, someone observed that Muddy’s satire is not exactly subtle.

But seriously, at one club near me where full nude LDs are available, the dancers usually place a 12-inch square polyester (I suppose) bandana on the guy’s fully-clothed lap. Helps reduce irritation of her lady parts and reduce potential snail trails on his pants. I don’t see that as dehumanizing in any way.
avatar for captainfun
captainfun
2 years ago
A few therapy sessions and you should be good as new Muddy.

I def wouldn’t appreciate the blanket treatment. That said I have seen some tradesmen (fixing roads, plumbers, roofers, etc) come straight to the club from work and who knows how gnarly their pants are.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
2 years ago
It must be very frustrating not to be able to easily pull your dick out of your pants. 😂
avatar for RamPaige
RamPaige
2 years ago
This only happened to me at the Fillmore in Toronto. I actually didn't mind it, the dancers were pretty liberal about what I wanted to do.
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
2 years ago
In some places it's common. Like the Mississauga clubs where lap dances are full nude. I don't have a problem with it there, it's cold and I often have on pants that aren't the softest so I can see why she might want something else there. Also, I appreciate the effort to keep her stuff of my pants. And lastly, if I'm getting a dance from more than one girl I can understand the 2nd ones desire to not pick up what the first one left. I'm not a big fan of nude lap dances for those last two reasons anyway, so I'll often just tell the girls they can keep their bottoms on. Some of the looks after that statement are priceless.

At other places where its not standard procedure and there isn't a clear reason for it, like around south Florida, I've seen it a few times and done what Bubble suggested. I always pay for the dance, cause I feel like I spent that money the second I agreed to go back for a dance, but unless she's crazy fucking hot or been really great out front, I take it as a sign that she's a germaphobe or a prude and just move on.

The hand sanitizer thing I could go either way on. Like Bubble said, lots of people don't even do basic washing after using the bathroom, I can totally understand some measures to keep the hands that are about to be all over you clean. I appreciate a little basic sanitation. I've never had a girl force it though, usually they use it themselves and offer, I just accept. I've seen no correlation with those girls then being prudes or germaphobic. It's the standard mix of success and failure after that.
avatar for VanessaM
VanessaM
2 years ago
@cashman1234

If it’s a nude lap dance, yes a dancer should place a cloth if she chooses. I know because you don’t have to deal with things like bacterial infection, cuts on ya vagina from jeans, yeast infections or etc… you may see it as an insult or a dancer not giving good service

But remember a vagina is an open wound. Would you take your open wound and rub it against rough material and dirty clothes
avatar for 8TM
8TM
2 years ago
I think it should be standard for nude dances. I always felt a little weird getting nude dances from two girls in a row.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
2 years ago
I appreciate your post BHarlem. That makes sense. A cloth - or some sort of barrier - would be useful to reduce the risk of infection. I hope it works.

My main issue with that club was the lack of alcohol, as I was a degenerate perverted drunk at that time. I’ve improved myself, and now I’m only a degenerate pervert…
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
2 years ago
I'm not going to criticize any girl for doing what she feels like she has to, but tbh I'd be put off by it if it ever happened to me again. Fortunately I've only experienced it once, in a nude club in Tampa some years back. Tbh I can't even remember which club, but the event itself stuck in my head enough that I can still remember the details all these years later. I was a one and done on that trip to the LD room.

Again, every girl has to decide for herself what she's comfortable with. But she should not be surprised if many customers are turned off by it.
avatar for herbtcat
herbtcat
2 years ago
After I have gone to great lengths to find, buy and wear pants that are less than 4 molecules thick (if only I had those!) I would be extremely upset to see a dancer throw down a cloth barrier in my lap that is guaranteed to deny me any sensations from her grinding. Might as well stay home and watch MILF porn! Unless...

Unless she intends to slide her hands under the blanket and get access to goods without the VIP cameras seeing the action. Then I'm cool with it.

I've encountered some dancers over the years who use some type of cover (towel, bandana, cloth napkin, etc.). They are almost always the dancers who won't even contemplate extras. In fact, they typically germophobic dancers who fear I will "finish" without warning them. Basically, they just hate the idea of touching jizz. Now that is their prerogative and custies must respect that. But it's my prerogative to decline the dance and move on.

Regarding dancers who carry hand sanitizer (at least pre-Covid), I've had some amazing and unexpected extra services delivered by many who just unzipped me, sprayed, wiped, and went to work. Good times.
avatar for Studme53
Studme53
2 years ago
Well your pants were around your ankles at the time…
avatar for Goodclubrep
Goodclubrep
2 years ago
Never saw the blanket trick. Not sure I would allow it. I have walked on bad 3 song dances and given them the money middle of the first song. No, private cost and all, no way.
avatar for caseyx
caseyx
2 years ago
It's been a while but I seem to remember it being common in Ontario clubs. Since Muddy just reviewed a bunch of them that's probably what he's referring to. I will say I found it funny to have a girl put a cloth down before sitting on my lap and then proceed to tell me how much she wanted to suck my dick. Which she proceeded to do.
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