Oh it's definitely a two way hustle. Mark it's a transaction you are right. I thought about not posting about this topic for my first post (been reading for years here) at the risk of showing how much of a PL I have been. But hey, dirty laundry should be aired.
Too many customers hustle their own damn selves. So much of the “game” is sitting there, making eye contact, refraining from using my phone, refraining from being blatantly stoned, and refraining from showing up with a super soaker water gun and spraying customers faces whenever I feel like it.
As a divorce lawyer I get to know far too many intimate details about my clients. Much the same as dancers do. As with dancers, at least most, i would never consider dating a customer, their friends or relatives. Relationships based on money are simply a financial transaction. You can have clients whom you like more than others and enjoy being with, but you're not doing/representing them for free; ever. If I show up at the club with no money, my 'cf' is going to be busy with others. Just the way it is. My wife and I were worth negative 35,415.00 when we started living together. We came within 20 minutes of living in a car, but luckily borrowed money. I have had a lot of favorites in the club, but they come and go. Wife and i are working on year 33....
You're more likely to get played by a civvie gold digger. That kind of investment in a customer isn't worth it for a stripper. If she made it worth it she wouldn't have to strip.
===> "I agree with nice spice. The fellas can lie just as good"
@Jimmy, I don't think that's what she meant. I think that she was saying that some guys do it to themselves by reading too much into the simplest stuff and convincing themselves that what they are seeing/feeling is real. I agree with her. There are definitely girls who are masters at the romance hustle, but there are also plenty of guys who get attached even when she’s doing no more than engaging in normal stripper banter and flirtation.
I’ve been fortunate never to get caught up in one. There are two reasons for that, first because for most of my adult life I’ve had other things to keep my grounded and, second, because I got a very early education on romance hustles.
Fortunately for me, my early education came at the expense of another. A close friend of mine became ensnared in a true romance hustle around the time he was getting divorced. She was a true master, smart, subtle and able to manage him with great deftness. She milked him for a few months both ITC and OTC, all the while doing enough to keep him on the hook while never promising him anything. She even had him over to her house with a group of others for his first Thanksgiving away from his family.
Then, when she sensed that he was good and cleaned out, she extricated from the situation just as smoothly as she milked him. The twisted fuck was actually thanking her and sorry that he couldn’t make it work.
This girl was a true master, the likes of which I have never seen since. Or maybe I have not been a good target as I’ve been in a continuous string of relationships over most of my adult life, Idk. One of my ATFs was prone to running romance hustles on single lonely guys and she was pretty successful, but nowhere near the girl who cleaned out my buddy. But I’ve seen plenty of other guys over the years who developed strong feelings for dancers – whether the dancers were trying to encourage them or not - so you're far from alone.
Hey Rick thanks for the clarification on nicespices comment. I DO agree guys are weak and fall for this. Some guys I mean. But I mean the real stripper game where they play it well. I loved your story. Terrible but that guy can only blame himself. I'm the type of guy I don't blame them. I blame me
I think it is possible to have a good relationship with a stripper but it needs to be based in reality. You treat them with respect and pay them consistently. She appreciates the money, and positive attitude, and provides you with good service. It’s not love but it’s mutual respect and appreciation. Maybe there is a little fantasy romance as well, as long as you don’t confuse that with love. That works for me.
not love, but I ALMOST definitely convinced myself a stripper was sexually into me not for the money. Had come here, didn't post about it but read other people's experience and was feeling a bit aprehensive about it all and then came to the realization she probably liked my money more than me. And that's how I joined TUSCL.
->@skibum: "My wife and I were worth negative 35,415.00 when we started living together. We came within 20 minutes of living in a car, but luckily borrowed money."
I'm 66 so I would never consider any of the dancers to be potentially interested in me sexually. I didn't go to strip clubs when I was younger, but I can imagine if I'd gone to clubs thirty years ago that someone might have convinced me they were when they really weren't. I have developed feelings of affection for a few of the girls over the years, probably more than what they felt for me. It never led to me spending extra money on any of them beyond buying them dinner in a restaurant or a small gift for a birthday.
As the OP, I should add that in two of the three cases they stopped dancing and continued it for at least 18 months with me. One introduced me to her parents, and I actually lived with her for six months and we acted like a couple. I just could never get out of my head that I was getting played
Dating strippers inside dating anyone else. Nurses and medical assistants are more toxic. Legal assistants and girls working in apartment management the sluttiest.
Is cacaplop an acronym? Another poster? If the latter, no I'm not him (or her). I'm a guy who moved from a city with abundant OTC options to retire in a place with nearly none. ITC options yes but OTC seems hard to cum by
Seems like we may be getting into a very broad definition of "hustle". To me, it's when she says/hints she will/might do something she isn't planning to do, in order to get more money from you. But, if she pretends to enjoy your company more than she really does, that doesn't count as hinting. That's a service that many strippers offer, you just need to be aware of that. Like nice says, don't hustle yourself. It's a typical thing that salespeople generally do.
Before you ask someone to make a significant sacrifice for you (like stop dancing), you should be fully honest about any hesitancy you have about the relationship. Hustling can go both ways. Having a demeaning attitude about strippers/stripping counts as asking her to stop.
Fairly often a guy wanders onto these boards asking if a stripper Really Likes Him then says things like "told me her real name and gave me her number and always seems happy to see me (and I spend 300+ on her every visit).
Strippers do like to try to frame interactions as "date" more than strictly transactional sometimes. But this is also more fun for those of us who remember it's all just a game.
Just to clarify I didn't ask her to stop dancing. I wouldn't care about that. She was just ready to.
But to the point about definitions, hustle is not a bad word in my view. If the guy can't figure out if he's being played it's on him not you. And if you really have to wonder if "she really likes you" then cut off the money for two months and you'll find out fast
You have to get the real full name early, the real social medias early, and that can usually keep you from getting hustled. I know those can be tough to get, but once you have the real info you can run a quick background check and that can be so enlightening that you won't fall for the hustle
Romance Hustle, not sure if this is really a hustle, as much as just people wanting something to happen. But our world being the way it is, it can't. My marriage was like this, both parties wanted it to work, but it just couldn't.
The answer is to find another way, and this is what My Organization is about.
OP, how are the guys falling for this stuff? Is it being gullible? Are these the same kinds of guys who would get used for money by civvie non stripper girls? Basically the super nice guys, who get taken advantage of?
39 comments
But you gotta ask yourself, why haven't you learned?
But I'm fascinated by "the game" and some dancers are masters at this
===> "I agree with nice spice. The fellas can lie just as good"
@Jimmy, I don't think that's what she meant. I think that she was saying that some guys do it to themselves by reading too much into the simplest stuff and convincing themselves that what they are seeing/feeling is real. I agree with her. There are definitely girls who are masters at the romance hustle, but there are also plenty of guys who get attached even when she’s doing no more than engaging in normal stripper banter and flirtation.
Fortunately for me, my early education came at the expense of another. A close friend of mine became ensnared in a true romance hustle around the time he was getting divorced. She was a true master, smart, subtle and able to manage him with great deftness. She milked him for a few months both ITC and OTC, all the while doing enough to keep him on the hook while never promising him anything. She even had him over to her house with a group of others for his first Thanksgiving away from his family.
Then, when she sensed that he was good and cleaned out, she extricated from the situation just as smoothly as she milked him. The twisted fuck was actually thanking her and sorry that he couldn’t make it work.
This girl was a true master, the likes of which I have never seen since. Or maybe I have not been a good target as I’ve been in a continuous string of relationships over most of my adult life, Idk. One of my ATFs was prone to running romance hustles on single lonely guys and she was pretty successful, but nowhere near the girl who cleaned out my buddy. But I’ve seen plenty of other guys over the years who developed strong feelings for dancers – whether the dancers were trying to encourage them or not - so you're far from alone.
This story merits an article.
And then never again.
Before you ask someone to make a significant sacrifice for you (like stop dancing), you should be fully honest about any hesitancy you have about the relationship. Hustling can go both ways. Having a demeaning attitude about strippers/stripping counts as asking her to stop.
Strippers do like to try to frame interactions as "date" more than strictly transactional sometimes. But this is also more fun for those of us who remember it's all just a game.
But to the point about definitions, hustle is not a bad word in my view. If the guy can't figure out if he's being played it's on him not you. And if you really have to wonder if "she really likes you" then cut off the money for two months and you'll find out fast
https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=4665…
The answer is to find another way, and this is what My Organization is about.
SJG
Jane -- School of Rock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdWq4w8D…
You're full of shit! There is no organization, we know it, you know it, now STFU CREEP!
SJG
Right. Do they also live in boxes and spend their days un the library?