Weird comments you've heard dancers say
I'll start off. One dancer licked my arm and said
1. "You taste good."
2. "If you tell anyone want I just did, I'll never dance for you again!"
3. "Here's your dollar back, you need it more than me."
4. "Can I give you a free lap dance?"
1. "You taste good."
2. "If you tell anyone want I just did, I'll never dance for you again!"
3. "Here's your dollar back, you need it more than me."
4. "Can I give you a free lap dance?"
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19 comments
1) You look like 'Hugh Hefner'. (my response) - "Fuck the looks, give me his money!"
2) Actual comment in a Memphis club in the vicinity of the airport in 2005: "If you buy a lap dance from me, I'll let you stick a finger of my ass." (my response) - "How romantic!"
Aaaaahhh...thanks sweetheart...
The one I just don't get is, "Why aren't you up here tipping?" You don't really want me to ANSWER that, do you?
Stripper shit-- you gotta love it...lol
The stripper who looked at my cufflinks and said, "What are those?"
The stripper who was unbuttoning my pants and, on hitting the second button (of three), said, "How many of those are there down there?"
Theological inquiries:
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour"?
Management issues:
"Are you a manager?"
"Do you know where I pay tip-out?" (Said with a fistful of money in her hands; if I had been thinking a little faster that night, I could have covered the cost of that night's lapdances.)
"You're talking WAY too much....let's dance so that I can put something in your mouth to quiet you down."
"Holy shit! How big ARE your boobs?"
"Hmmmmmm.....someone's MOIST!"
The most common approach I hear from dancers is "Can I molest you?"
The two weirdest things I heard were from one drunk and possibly stoned dancer who asked me if I could take her home to my dealer (I passed) and another from a fat dancer who told me she was not too much woman for me. (Yes she was, and a bitch besides.)
"I don't normally do this, but for you, I'll make an exception."
"Do you now Tim (Bones)?"
"When I dance for you, do you prefer more tits or more ass?"
"When you are playing down there, you might want to watch out for my tampon."
If we all start using "field trip" regularly, we might get TUSCL to add it on their approved list of abbreviations.
Me: "I love all animals."
Dancer: "Oh I'm a vegetarian too!!!"
"SOMEone's saying 'hi'!" (referring to Mr Happy beginning to wake up and stand at attention, something that she is VERY adept at bringing about)
"We are just two freaks on a leash" (referring to the fact that we are both married, and uhh... horny)
"I want us to be friends with benefits" (assume "fuck buddies")
"Bitch, take your shit off!" (uhh... she DOES have a bit of a ghetto-ish way of talking at times... but she didn't have to tell me to get naked, twice, let me tell you)