Weird comments you've heard dancers say

I've heard number 2 a few times....usually as I am zipping up...

ROFLMFAO@Yoda! Hmmmm, seems most of us have heard that, but nice ending to the thread!!!

1. You look like 'Hugh Hefner'. (my response) - "Fuck the looks, give me his money!"
2. Actual comment in a Memphis club in the vicinity of the airport in 2005: "If you buy a lap dance from me, I'll let you stick a finger of my ass." (my response) - "How romantic!"

"You look like Michael Douglass....but younger..."

Aaaaahhh...thanks sweetheart...

LOL @ zipping up

The one I just don't get is, "Why aren't you up here tipping?" You don't really want me to ANSWER that, do you?

once a girl was giving me and my husband a lapdance and in the middle of it told me I remind her of her little sister. I honestly didnt know what to sat to that one judging from what she was looking at at the moment.

"I'm working my way through medical school. I really love working with animals"-- where upon I said, "oh, you mean veterinary school?"..."No" she said, "I'm going to medical school for animals." So, would you like a dance?

Stripper shit-- you gotta love it...lol

Stupid sartorial comments:

The stripper who looked at my cufflinks and said, "What are those?"

The stripper who was unbuttoning my pants and, on hitting the second button (of three), said, "How many of those are there down there?"

Theological inquiries:

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour"?

Management issues:

"Are you a manager?"

"Do you know where I pay tip-out?" (Said with a fistful of money in her hands; if I had been thinking a little faster that night, I could have covered the cost of that night's lapdances.)

"Are you LE?"

"You're talking WAY too much....let's dance so that I can put something in your mouth to quiet you down."

"Holy shit! How big ARE your boobs?"

"Hmmmmmm.....someone's MOIST!"

The most common approach I hear from dancers is "Can I molest you?"

Weird.

I have heard lopaw's 5th comment plenty of times, though I don't think it is the most common approach I hear. I also hear the first of lopaw's comments occasionally, though I don't know why, since I don't have a crewcut or anything like that.

The two weirdest things I heard were from one drunk and possibly stoned dancer who asked me if I could take her home to my dealer (I passed) and another from a fat dancer who told me she was not too much woman for me. (Yes she was, and a bitch besides.)

RE: Bones7599's # 2. Well # 2 comment, I should say. A couple of buddies and I were in a local club. There was a large Cuban dancer we all knew, but didn't care much about, and she walked by. As she did, she passed some new dancer blood that we had not seen. She said to us, "Who is she?" Then not awaiting a response tells us, "No one dances here until I get my finger in her ass!"

There are so many that it is hard to choose (and remember). . . .

"I don't normally do this, but for you, I'll make an exception."

"Do you now Tim (Bones)?"

"When I dance for you, do you prefer more tits or more ass?"

"When you are playing down there, you might want to watch out for my tampon."

I was a guest of another guy. He was buying the dances. Walking to the VIP, the dancer, a hottie, says, "I'm going to molest you and you will cum on my tits."

OK guys. A***** now refers to going to the couch room for a BBJ as a "field trip". NO SHIT.

I want to meet the dancers whom Shadowcat and Superdude are referring to ... :)

shadowcat - I like that term, "field trip". I'm going to start using that term when clubbing. I believe I can guess who A***** is! LOL If we all start using "field trip" regularly, we might get TUSCL to add it on their approved list of abbreviations.

At an all nude place some years ago there was an "off to the side" table dance area, where the girl would squat down, lean back on her hands, and you could DATY all you want. After 2 songs and my tongue nearly sprained, she said "one more song and I'll come"...we did, and she did. I nearly did.

Dancer: "Do you like dogs or cats better?"

Me: "I love all animals."

Dancer: "Oh I'm a vegetarian too!!!"

I haven't heard that many weird comments, but probably because she's been on my mind lately, the dancer that is moving up in my ratings recently said...

"SOMEone's saying 'hi'!" (referring to Mr Happy beginning to wake up and stand at attention, something that she is VERY adept at bringing about)

"We are just two freaks on a leash" (referring to the fact that we are both married, and uhh... horny)

"I want us to be friends with benefits" (assume "fuck buddies")

"Bitch, take your shit off!" (uhh... she DOES have a bit of a ghetto-ish way of talking at times... but she didn't have to tell me to get naked, twice, let me tell you)