Ex is now an escort. What do I do?

Long story short, high school fling that ended quickly and relatively amicably (no sex).
Saw her come up in an escort ad and there's no doubt in my mind it's her.

What would you do? Ask her to grab a coffee and have that knowledge hanging over her? Set up a meet and see what happens? Just forget I ever saw anything and have it as a cool thing that I discovered?

Be my moral compass you absolute degenerates.

51 comments

Latest

  • Goodclubrep
    3 years ago
    Meet innocently for coffee and a sort of reunion to see what yarns she'll spin. Then set up a meet. You've nothing to lose.
  • shanny72
    3 years ago
    Ask for a friends and family discount!
  • shailynn
    3 years ago
    Few questions.

    How much time has lapsed since high school and now?

    Do you want to date her or just have sex with her?

    Are you two still in the same town, run into each other occasionally? Big city or small town?


    If you just want to bang her, I’d just make an appointment and show up. If you want something more then that makes it much more complex.
  • skibum609
    3 years ago
    Just leave her be.
  • ATACdawg
    3 years ago
    Why should/do you care?
  • SneakyClubster
    3 years ago
    You all have a much stronger moral compass than I thought lol. Thanks for the input.

    To answer some questions:
    - At least a decade out of HS
    - Both grew up in a small city, happened to be in the same bigger city currently
    - Oh my god you're right I have the big gay
    - I can't say I wouldn't want to bang, but more for the nostalgia. I'd honestly rather just talk as friends.

    The plan: Maybe get a coffee, catch up, and do nothing with the information I have. File it away in the spank bank or something.
  • doctorevil
    3 years ago
    Book a session.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    3 years ago
    Think about it from her perspective.

    She goes to meet a customer, and it's actually a guy she dated briefly in high school. A guy who knows her real name and potentially friends/family who do not know she's an escort now. After cycling through varying degrees of panic, humiliation, and awkwardness, she probably not going to believe that it's a coincidence (and she'd be right). Meaning, she's going to think you're off-the-charts creepy, probably a stalker, and maybe dangerous.

    Or, did you really believe she'd be pleasantly surprised and say, "Oh hey, Burt! How cool. Now we get to catch up and we didn't need to wait for the next reunion!"? Escorts work aggressively to stay anonymous for many varied and valid reasons.

    Leave her alone.
  • crosscheck
    3 years ago
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqDjMZKf…

    All jokes aside, the answer to your question is nothing. You do nothing.
  • TheeOSU
    3 years ago
    I think that after years of abuse the EX wife of a certain creepy resident of san jose did the same thing as a less abusive escape vehicle from him.
  • Icee Loco (asshole)
    3 years ago
    This is one of the dumbest troll threads.

    He's saying someone he dated over 10 years ago is a hoe now.
  • TheeOSU
    3 years ago
    Like your ex too iceydougster?
  • Mate27
    3 years ago
    If this wasnt made up I’d say let her be as slutty as she wants without disclosing that you know about her and try to be as slutty as she is by limping yourself out there. See what the open market will pay for yo ass!
  • Cashman1234
    3 years ago
    You are still curious about her, so hit her up and see if she still remembers you. Since you are younger, she should recognize you, and hopefully she will be interested in catching up.

    I think, whatever direction you take it, it will likely remain. If you arrange a paid date, she will see you as a customer. If you go the civilian route, it should remain a more legit relationship.
  • rickmacrodong
    3 years ago
    Icey not everything is a troll thread
  • gammanu95
    3 years ago
    She's an ex, whom you saw while YOU were browsing for escorts, and you just want to use the escort contact information to get together and reminisce?

    Don't.
  • san_jose_guy
    3 years ago
    burt, you can't control what women do in such arenas.

    Just have to let go.

    SJG
  • iknowbetter
    3 years ago
    I was once in line at Costco behind a very attractive young woman in yoga pants who was paying in all ones $. Everyone in the line was getting annoying watching the clerk painstakingly count out the bills. The girl turned around momentarily, we made eye contact and realized that we recognized one another from the club. Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. It was understood that worlds did not need to collide.
  • twentyfive
    3 years ago
    It's always best to let sleeping dogs lie.
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    If you want to reconnect with her, why the fuck not? Your one big horking moral obligation is, make sure that however you contact her, she knows who you are, and that you saw her ad. Don't blind side her.

    If you are looking for something on the side, pass. People are not logical when it comes to romance. She might be cool in general with being an escort, but not cool with a demotion from platonic girlfriend to side piece. You don't want someone who's discretion you are trusting to be pissed at you.

    Some chance she might see you as a prospective SO, not a prospective client. If you can't consider this, be ready to decline in a nicer way than "but you're a hoe now".

    If you think you'll get free nookie, buy a Powerball ticket, better odds.
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    Since I'm single now, I say hey outside the club, but only if they smile and don't look away.
  • san_jose_guy
    3 years ago
    So Iknowbetter, did you go do a session with her?

    SJG

    Asss
    https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=9417
  • Jasdoit
    3 years ago
    Well imagine you did get with her and she told everyone you both knew you were a client.
  • georgmicrodong
    3 years ago
    Leave her the fuck alone. She won't likely appreciate you inserting yourself into a life she probably doesn't want revealed.
  • Lone_Wolf
    3 years ago
    Leave it be. You'd probably be disappointed in the person she's become. Remember her as she ibce was.
  • san_jose_guy
    3 years ago
    You get involved with highly sexualized women, and it can be good.

    But you can't expect them to ever live according to strict monogamy.

    SJG

    The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter - 2013 School of Rock AllStars Team 4
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we-3Y3vh…

    Sweet - Ballroom Blitz - 2013 School of Rock AllStars Team 4
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIpt9ZuY…
  • Uprightcitizen
    3 years ago
    OK my question is how is a girl you had a "fling" with (without sex) an "Ex"? An Ex what?
  • VanessaM
    3 years ago
    She’s an escort now, but you want to meet for coffee….

    I should kick you in your nuts 😤 #men 🙄
  • rickthelion
    3 years ago
    Although the OP is likely to be a frickin’ zebra this rick shall dispense valuable advice to any and all apes that might find themselves in this situation. There is a simple protocol:

    1. Set up an appointment with her
    2. Get really drunk
    3. Drive to a hotel
    4. When she arrives ask for some really twisted services
    5. If she balks offer more money, repeat until she agrees to the really twisted shit

    Of course, I am a rick so sexy female hairless apes typically agree to do twisted shit with me right away. Sometimes they even pay me. But you may need to pay a lot.

    Ask yourself this: how will I remember this incident if I’m some sensitive new-age pussy who leaves her alone vs how will I remember this incident if I do twisted shit with the girl? This rick guar-an-damn-tees that you’ll remember the twisted shit fondly.

    Also, you should note that the liquor serves an important function. It makes the driving more fun. ROAR!!!
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    Since lions rarely live to be 21, what do you do when you get carded in the liquor store?
  • Cashman1234
    3 years ago
    There is some useful advice provided in the comments. I hope you will let us know what you decide - and how it works out.

    I think BHarlem might be able to charge decent money to dispense her advice. Some guys like that shit!
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    Some guys pay to get kicked in the nuts if the woman has practice.
  • twentyfive
    3 years ago
    That’s maybe a little harsh do ya think Bharlem ?
  • SirLapdancealot
    3 years ago
    As you are ending your coffee date, you should hug her good-bye and thank her for the "GFE". Maybe add in a wink and make air quotes with your fingers. 😉✌️✌️

    If she doesn't kick you in the nuts, you just might get a second "date" with her.
  • boomer79
    3 years ago
    I probably wouldn’t book an appointment and if you try to meet up with her non professionally I’d ask myself if I would have done that if I came across her in a different way. If you show up at an appointment there is a good chance it could be very uncomfortable for her.
  • CandymanOfProvidence
    3 years ago
    BHarlem,
    I believe the Chock Full o Nuts cafe would be the best meeting spot
  • bkkruined
    3 years ago
    Do nothing. Just forget it.

    If you really just can't, let her know who you are, and ask if she'd be willing to? And if she says no, make damned sure you just forget it (at that point, any stalking / harassing, etc., in the recent past or near future, at least, will be assume to be you....)
  • VanessaM
    3 years ago
    My first client when I was an escort was this young blk man that’s wanted me to moon walk on his nuts.

    🤔 BRB I’m gonna add this service in my bio 💨
  • rickmacrodong
    3 years ago
    Whats causing those guys to want to damage their nuts? Id imagine their hormones are messed up, and i think physically damaging the testicles would destroy whatever hormones they had left? Are they already semi castrated, and the testicle damage castrates them further? Something doesnt make sense with that behavior
  • Tiburon
    3 years ago
    Be an asshole use a fake identifier and set up a meeting lol. And see the shenanigans. If she request a photo and sees your face she'll auto deny so its imperative you use a fake id
  • VanessaM
    3 years ago
    I get paid to perform an act not do a psychological study on it.
  • san_jose_guy
    3 years ago
    ^ I can tell that you must be real good too Bharlem.

    SJG

    The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter - 2013 School of Rock AllStars Team 4
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we-3Y3vh…
  • Huntsman
    3 years ago
    Leave her alone. She wants to be anonymous in her escort job. Respect that and find a different gal to play with.
  • ilbbaicnl
    3 years ago
    @Huntsman I'd say he should take a pass if he has a lower opinion of her knowing she's an escort, or would never civvie date an escort. But otherwise it's not so clear. It's true that some sex workers see sex work as their secret shame, in that case, she'd be upset to hear from him. But, if she's got a healthier attitude about being a sex worker, it could be encouraging to know that not everyone is going to lower their opinion of her, when they find out she's doing sex work.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    3 years ago
    ^ No ... it's pretty clear. Regardless of whether or not she has shame over her being an escort, it is *highly* likely that she's keeping her sex work separate from her private life and from her family. And, it's statistically likely that she won't be thrilled about a short-time high school flame reaching out to her. The only way to find out if she's one of the very few strippers who would be thrilled to have high school classmates get in touch via her escort ads is to force her into that position.

    And that's a really shitty thing to do.
  • Champphilly
    3 years ago
    Risk of Discounted or free STDs maybe the only option remains. Move on bro.
  • Cashman1234
    3 years ago
    Ishmael makes a good point. It’s likely best to leave this one alone. Based on Ishmael’s post, I would change my previous advice to leave her alone and move on.

    Unless you are contacting her to use her as an escort, crossing the line isn’t a good play.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    3 years ago
    Honestly, even if I wanted the P4P, I'd still not contact her. There remains the distinct possibility that she will react badly (at best), if someone who could connect all the dots on her personal and private life suddenly appears as a customer. That scenario doesn't improve if the high school boyfriend wants P4P rather than catching up over coffee. Actually, she'd be justified in having a greater level of worry or outright panic about the guy's motives.

    And why would a guy want to do that to another person when there are so many other options out there? I mean, at a certain point we're not talking about ethics so much as cruelty.
  • rickthelion
    3 years ago
    Tiburon-ape advised => Be an asshole use a fake identifier and set up a meeting lol. And see the shenanigans. If she request a photo and sees your face she'll auto deny so its imperative you use a fake id

    Although Tiburon-ape appears to be disparaging Burt-ape by saying this is an asshole thing to do, this rick thinks it is good advice. Burt should send her a photo of a lion and claim to be burtthelion.

    That’ll get her all hot and wet expecting some BSLC. When you show up she’ll be upset but so turned on because she’s expecting a lion to fuck her that you’ll still get good service.

    Even better, you could show up wearing a lion costume and then pull of the lion head when you both cum. Of course, she may notice the absence of penile spines, so she might be clued in to the fact that you aren’t an actual lion before you actually remove the costume.

    Anyhoo, this rick is definitely on the “pull a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ twisted” side of the aisle. ROAR!!!
  • Cashman1234
    3 years ago
    Ishmael you make a very good and logical argument to basically doing nothing. I agree with your logic and advice. However, I have the feeling reasonable logic is not the guiding principle here.

    I can only imagine the horror this escort would feel when a high school boyfriend contacts her through her escort service!
  • georgmicrodong
    3 years ago
    My gut instinct said "leave her the fuck alone."

    C.M.I. lays out multiple facets of why.
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