Some dancers seem to take rejection a bit too hard
I noticed one dancer on stage. I held a dollar bill up but she didn't bother to come over and get it. She wasn't doing much except walking back and forth. I believe it may have been a dancer who asked me for a dance earlier in the evening and I said no thanks. I haven't had a dancer turn down money at the stage in a long long time. Some dancers must feel really dejected or rejected when you say no thanks to their wanna dance offer.
Anybody else notice some dancers take rejection so hard they act like they want to avoid you the rest of the evening or do other odd things?
Anybody else notice some dancers take rejection so hard they act like they want to avoid you the rest of the evening or do other odd things?
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
40 comments
In many clubs, 2 dollars is minimum acceptable stage tip. Personally I've never understood why dancers can grovel over all this chump change, when in most clubs the big money is in private dances
A two dollar minimum? Whats the point? 1 or 2? Kinda the same...
Cover charges, drink prices, LD tips and VIP entrance fees have all gone up. Dancers are probably expecting stage tips to average $5.
Talk about "rejection" - - - Friday night I was kind of "rejected" by a dancer on a 2fer1 special at my usual club. I had gotten several 2fer1s from her weeks ago, and got some decent mileage, by my guidance. I say by my guidance, as she had only 3 months experience as a dancer. I informed her while she was dancing on stage that I had paid for a 2fer for us. She said ok. Well, she took a smoke break, came out, and sat down with some younger customers. Several songs went by, the bouncer (a friend of mine) reminded her twice. Finally, I went to the bouncer, got my money back, and left the club. I'll never approach, nor tip this dancer again.
So, rejection can work both ways.
Rejected for wearing khakis and a polo...
Lately, I've noticed alot of dancers offering a verbal "thank you" from the stage when you tip. In their minds it satisfies the "thanking requirement" so that they don't have to actually come over to you afterwards. This can be a good thing, if you tend to tip alot of girls, but don't necessarily want all of them to come by & hit you up for dances.
A dancer who ignores someone trying to tip them when she doesn't have anyone else trying to tip her is just asking to be ignored by everyone. Maybe it's not like that in busier clubs. Rejection does work both ways. I think nothing of turning down a dance. Not taking my money seems snobbish at best and I avoid dancers who may act like that. Not just once but on subsequent nights as well.
Now, I need to remember to stop telling dancers what other clubs I visit because they keep switching or trying out the clubs I visit. I've been asked several times by different dancers if she should work there or at her current club. I think I just need to think of a good lie to tell dancers so I can avoid the topic of club hopping. Unless I want the dancer to club hop as well.
As a stripper one of the first things you have to learn is to let rejection roll of your back. Professionals know this. A lot of the girls that are newer to dancing think it's just a matter of getting naked and making money. Nothing is that easy, including stripping.
Don't you think they all sit around in the dressing room talking about this? "Guys should get more dances. Why don't they get more dances? They should give us dances whenever we're ready to give dances. They should be more up-front about getting dances. They should all always be getting dances. Why don't they get more dances? They're SHY, that's it, that MUST be the reason ... and anyone who isn't SHY must be an ASSHOLE if he's not getting dances." etc.
I remember one of my ATFs saying to me on one slow night, when there weren't that many guys getting dances or "more", at Bar Rendez-Vous Erotica in St. Athanase, Quebec..."Thank God for your penis"...LOL! :)
So, unless something goes bad, I am approaching the stage with the idea that I will shortly be transferring anywhere from $30 (plus tip, at Brad's Brass Flamingo, home of the $10 dance) to $100 (no tips at these prices) from my pocket to the dancer's pocket (or Chivas bag, as the case may be). Therefore, I don't have a problem with tipping $5 instead of $1. This is particularly true since I am not going to the rail to decide if I want to get a dance from the girl--by the time I have gotten to the rail, I have already made this decision, based on the dancer's appearance and interaction with other patrons. (Although something that happens at the rail that I might not have been able to perceive from my table, like excessive piercings, can change that). I am going to the rail specifically for the purpose of getting the dancer's attention such that she will come to my table later for a private. Therefore, I need to tip a larger amount, so that the dancer will remember me. So... all you guys who are at $1...for God's sake, stay there. If you raise to $5, I'll have to go to $10 just to stand out.
ROCK
"Customer who sits in a strip club, buys the 2 drink minimum (nurses both), doesn't get lap dances, doesn't tip the girls, doesn't tip the bartenders/waitresses and sits there ALL night. Don't be a Rock!"
(source: TUSCL.com glossary)
I also have never seen a girl rip up a one dollar tip UNLESS they somehow felt that the man offering it to them was disrespectful. "you better work for this dollar," "is that IT?!?," "give me something special for this tip.."etc. Those are all lines that will get your money torn, whether it is a single or a benjamin and thrown right back at you.
I have noticed a few dancers from time to time in that particular club occasionally get a bad attitude when they are told no. They usually end up quitting after a while to go work somewhere else. I assume I'm not the only guy who doesn't like bad attitudes after telling a dancer no thanks. Maybe the one dancer was just in a bad mood at the moment. I can't mind read. I just went to the next stage and tipped a dancer there. Then I club hopped and forgot all about it except when visiting this site.
Everywhere else is a dollar, unless I really like the stripper. I paid almos $20 to get in, I'm going to be as consistent as possible. And if you don't know the value of a single damned dollar, get out of my face and move aside for the girl who'd actually be grateful. Who in the hell rips money, especially in this economy?
This topic allows me to slam a girl in Story #1: At BJ's a long time ago, there was a girl named Mia or Mya (there's another girl going by that name, so I know this bitch who no longer works there by the tattoo of a pot leaf on the small of her back). I lay down the customary $2; she, without ever seeing me again, says I should tip $5 and shows me just her cleavage. Whatever, ho, and I left the stage.
Story #2: A long, long time ago at the local Deja Vu, there was a girl named Aspen who loudly complained (first onstage, then while trolling for dances) about not getting tips. For some reason she hones in on me, and after rejecting her she starts yelling loudly something to the effect of, "Why are you people so cheap?" I relented. I know I shouldn't have ... but actually Aspen gave a pretty good dance. And she rewarded me for capitulating later while onstage; I stuck a dollar bill in my mouth, and although it's not usually done there, Aspen took it with her mouth, then gave me a quick kiss.
Story #3: A long, long, LONG time ago, at this same Deja Vu, there was this dancer that was really long and slender with no tits -- a perfect template for a high-fashion model, but not stripper material. I watched her stage dance from afar. She tried to get into it (she wasn't bad, but it wasn't blockbuster), but for some reason (probably that she didn't "look like a stripper") no one tipped her -- and this was on a weekend night, where every seat along the rail was taken. Halfway through her second song, she started grabbing her things and leaving the stage before a chick on the rail threw her some money. Very sad.
I could, indeed, micro-manage it, saving the difference by figuring out how to book in advance, go to a bulk re-seller, use Priceline negotiator, etc. etc. But mostly I have to get the ticket today because that's when I found out about the meeting.
If I go to a regular bar, they ask me for $3.50 for a mixed drink, I give 'em $5. The $1.50 difference I count as "tip" and I've worked in the service industry so I know what working for tips is like. But $1.50, relative to $3.50? That's more than 40% of the total price! Usual tip recommendation is 15% to 20%.
Then I go to a strip club and they want $8 for a cranberry juice on ice. I only tip $1 because the $8 is ridiculous. It'd be easy to give over the whole $10, but I stiff the waitress instead. So I'm mentally cutting the tip down from 25% to 12.5%, even though in the regular bar I was willing to tip MORE total money and MORE total percent, both, by a large margin.
If I go to a stereo store, I can get the entire stereo that I want for $900. If I go across the street to a different store and wait in line again, it will be $895. I don't consider the $5 worth it. But then imagine this weird scenario: on one side of the street, newspapers cost $1, and on the other side of the street they cost $6. Who is likely to buy the $6 newspaper? Almost NOBODY! Ever! When it comes to almost-$1000 stereos, we don't give much of a hoot about the $5 difference; but when it comes to less-than-$10 newspapers, we do. Even though the same savings would yield the same drink at a bar.
Generally we're weak at thinking these things through, we humans. I know that some of us try to nickel-and-dime every one of these transactions. In the case of the airline ticket, it makes most sense to spend extra time. The loss of more than $100 in difference is worth the effort, people seem to think. And it SHOULD hurt more, to have to spend a higher price by a $100 difference than by a $4 difference. But it doesn't. That airline ticket that cost me the higher price to Houston last year? I just mentally sucked it up and moved right on. But the higher price for a cranberry at my local strip club? STILL pisses me off. It would take literally 25 cranberry juices -- probably half of a year's worth of drinking -- to make up the same total amount lost on the one too-expensive airplane ticket. But I don't think of it that way.
It is like this lady friend of mine who lives in the wrong area code. I think it cost something like 25 cents. Well, considering she liked to call all the time it added up quickly. At least a buck a day so that is almost $400 a year. Yep, I can get finicky about recurring costs especially locked in ones.
Very well said. And, a "few" dancers don't see much difference between giving a lap dance or chatting with friends. I'm not a dancer, but I think it would take a toll on me even if the women customers were very nice. But, heck I'm just not a people person.