Stripper Moms who make the ultimate sacrifice

rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
For the third time in three years, I had a girl explain to me that she signed custody of her baby over to a relative because she knew that the child would be better off. I've heard stuff like this before, but it seems to be getting more common now, or at least I'm hearing about it more.

The first time I ever heard this from a stripper, which was many years ago, I was disgusted. Not so disgusted that I turned down the tail she was giving me in my hotel room, lol, but definitely put off.

But my feelings on this have evolved over time. As I've raised my own children and met many more parents over the years, I've seen too many examples of bad homes producing broken people. In all too many cases, this involves mothers who cling to their children even as they refuse to care for them properly. For these reasons, I've come to respect a woman who has enough awareness to acknowledge that she is not mentally/emotionally equipped to raise a child properly and makes the ultimate sacrifice of letting that child go to someone who can.

Feel free to share similar stories or other related stuff.

86 comments

Latest

Call.Me.Ishmael
3 years ago
I have no similar stories.

Regardless of the setting, a mother's decision that she's not capable of raising her own child is heartbreaking. But the reality is that it's often the right decision.

It's tempting to some to accuse the woman of laziness, shirking responsibility, etc. That might even be true in some cases, but that truth only bolsters the likelihood that the kid has a better chance in another home.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
One of my favs told me the only good part of her childhood was the year and a half she was in foster care. She'll never stop being pissed at her mother for not letting her foster family adopt her. She said the only other good parenting she ever got was from her stepdad. She can't figure out why he wanted to be with her batshit mother. He kept in touch with her and looked out for her, even after her mother ditched him.

What I've seen more often is that a parent or both parents bring the daughter and and grandkid into their household, to give the grandkid a more well-supported situation.

Another fucked up thing you see is the baby daddies getting out of child support. They threaten the baby mommas that, if they petition for child support, that they'll seek custody on the grounds that the baby momma is a whore stripper.
RTP
3 years ago
I think each of these cases are unique. In some cases these dancers are actually making a decision which is best for their kid (s), in some cases it is just a cop out and it is what is easiest and cheapest for them.
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "In some cases these dancers are actually making a decision which is best for their kid (s), in some cases it is just a cop out and it is what is easiest and cheapest for them."

I suppose for some of them it is a cop out, but even shitty mothers often find it hard to part with children that they carried for 9 months and then gave birth to. Either way though they are doing the right thing and I generally prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Muddy
3 years ago
I can’t remember dealing with stripper mom drama off the top of my head. Most girls I hang with really either don’t have kids or do a good job of hiding that fact from me. But I’m sure there’s plenty craziness out there
georgmicrodong
3 years ago
@RTP: " In some cases these dancers are actually making a decision which is best for their kid (s), in some cases it is just a cop out and it is what is easiest and cheapest for them."

But, as C.M.I. has already pointed out, if it's a cop out, that actually <em>supports</em> the notion that it's best for the child to be elsewhere.

@ilbbaicnl: "One of my favs told me the only good part of her childhood was the year and a half she was in foster care."

I'm glad foster care worked for her, truly. But my wife is a product of the foster care system, from birth, and let's just say that her experiences there figure prominently in her lack of sexual desire. I'd like to think that your fav's experience was the norm, and my wife's the exception. Unfortunately, I'm not convinced of that.
Tetradon
3 years ago
Does leaving the kids at home while you go whoring and drunk driving produce well adjusted children? Asking for a friend.
rickdugan
3 years ago
^ I'll let you know in a few years Tetanus. 😉
rickdugan
3 years ago
@GMD: I haven't seen many foster care success stories either, which is another reason why I applaud the decision of these girls to be proactive in finding their babies permanent homes with trusted relatives. Better to do if for yourself than have the state eventually do it for you.
Tetradon
3 years ago
Yet somehow, you got your kids over your wife. She must have been a real prize.
ATACdawg
3 years ago
The other side of the coin is when a dancer takes on the care of a child or grandchild.

My long time ATF had a party girl daughter who became drug addicted and had an out of wedlock child. She supported them both, with the daughter caring for the child during the day and my ATF caring for him at night while her daughter went to school after completing detox. All went well for a while until the daughter fell back into her old habits and, unforgivably, brought drugs into the home. My ATF kicked her daughter out of the home at that point. The good news is that the daughter was sufficiently aware of her problem that she left her son with my ATF.

Between that and COVID, my ATF hung up her heels. BTW, her older son is a hard worker and clean of drugs.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Foster care seems to only be good when the foster family is ready to adopt the child if the parental rights are surrendered or severed. But then, they probably are able to foster another kid. When kids are in limbo, then keep getting moved from foster home to foster home.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
unable
rickdugan
3 years ago
@Tetanus: Do you have anything to contribute besides trolling? Just curious.

@ATAC: Rocking the GILFs are we? Overall that was an interesting story though. I once had a favorite who had taken in a niece because her sister was on a long prison stint and another with stepkids. Not only are those stories heartwarming, but those added burdens also proved beneficial on the OTC front. 😁
Tetradon
3 years ago
^ I only pointed out what you've already said. You seem to commit inadvertent self-owns like this on the regular.
rickdugan
3 years ago
^ If you ever had kids, you'd understand the extraordinary difference between leaving your kids with a babysitter for a few hours and the routine neglect experienced by children with bad parents. But it's probably for the best that you haven't, proving that Natural Selection is a real thing. 😉
Tetradon
3 years ago
LOL, what is it about this place that the bad actors cling to one another like super glue and a toddler's fingers?

@rick, you're associating with Cacaplop now. Time to rethink your life choices.
rickdugan
3 years ago
^ Further proving that the Hide feature and Ignore posting limits would be very useful tools.
docsavage
3 years ago
I had a regular once here in Indianapolis who had her mother out in California taking care of her child for her. She had a serious drinking problem and one of her friends told me once that the only time she didn't drink a lot was when she was working in a California strip club and could visit her child regularly. For her, being able to see her child was a stabilizing influence and being unable to see it made her deeply unhappy and led her to drink heavily. She eventually got fired from the club here when she punched another stripper while drunk and then moved back to California. That may have been a good thing in her case.
rickdugan
3 years ago
^ The problems with believing that moving back to see her kid are twofold IMHO.

First, she is supposed to be the emotional support for the kid, not the other way around. It just doesn't work for very long and, even during brief periods when it is enough to keep a parent stable, it fucks up the kid. Second, there was a reason she took off and that reason is likely still there.
rickdugan
3 years ago
That should have been...

^ The problems with believing that moving back to see her kid "will fix her" are twofold IMHO.
Icee Loco (asshole)
3 years ago
The problem is when those kids are older and act out. They're sheltered for a few years then when the truth comes out it fucks with their heads
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
One lost kids and her husband because of her crystal meth habbit. I think the kinds went to the husband.

Got in trouble with the IRS too and almost lost her house.

She was a much loved OTC provider and a real blast just to spend time talking too. Really smart and interesting.

SJG
CJKent_band
3 years ago
@rickdugan

I will play along and comment on your discussion.

A Favorite of mine I was seeing OTC commented/hinted she wanted to have a baby, despite the fact she was single, because her “so called biological clock was ticking”.

She got mad when I pointed out to her that, kids that grow in a two parents family environment have a better chance of growing to be good, healthy and happy human beings.

She said that she had the “right” to have a baby and the baby will make her a better person, happy, complete etc etc

I didn’t engage in the discussion and let her rant about her feelings and ideas.

She later apologized about getting upset, because she really wanted to have a baby of her own, be a good mother and said I would be a really good father figure if I wanted to be in her baby’s life.

The “ultimate sacrifice” would be not having children when not prepared, “qualified” and ready to raise children responsibly.
Studme53
3 years ago
Hearing or even thinking about stuff is a boner killer
IfIGottaBeDamned
3 years ago
A former fav signed parental rights over to her parents. She retained liberal visitation, but in the deal, the physically abusive, deadbeat sperm donor permanently signed away his rights. Her parents live in a nice suburban neighborhood with good schools.

That was many years ago. She struggled with significant drug addiction back then. I haven’t seen her in a long time, but based on a recent brief local news article, I strongly suspect she is still struggling.

I’m sure the mother and child do love each other and she does what she is able to do for the child. But I am also certain the child is much better off in the custody of the stable grandparents.
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ I have some good friends that have a similar situation ended up with the grandkids when the daughter couldn’t manage her drug habit, she eventually died of an overdose and it was heartbreaking for all involved but her grandmother and grandfather persevered and even though they had to raise their grandchildren in their retirement those kids are so much better off than they would have been.
Rick not to troll but im really curious how did you ever get custody seriously, I don’t believe for one minute if your stories are true that those kids don’t have a clue what you are doing for entertainment.
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "Rick not to troll but im really curious how did you ever get custody seriously, I don’t believe for one minute if your stories are true that those kids don’t have a clue what you are doing for entertainment."

Believe what you want, not that it's remotely relevant to this discussion. I am discreet.
twentyfive
3 years ago
Discreet is fine but your attitude is obvious here and I’m sure at home as well
shadowcat
3 years ago
I knew a stripper that lost custody of her 2 children to her husband during their divorce because she was a stripper.
rockie
3 years ago
So 25, you actually believe that the "RD" posting persona here is the same business practical persona that he employs in his real world? How fucking stupid are you?
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ Not stupid enough to believe he’s that smart.
rockie
3 years ago
He's smart enough to make a living and offer the real world a better persona than he offers to TUSCL!
nicespice
3 years ago
And here I was thinking this was about Tlaloc getting his quota of sacrificed children so that rain would come.
twentyfive
3 years ago
And you know this how rickie, have you also penetrated SJGs CIA level encryption perchance
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Tlaloc makes it rain for 30 minutes when a stripper sacrifices her kid. rickdugan says Tlaloc is girly, he can get a stripper to sacrifice her kid for 10 minutes of rain.
Tetradon
3 years ago
^ I picture Rick as this 5'6" balding, skinny, accountant-looking guy who would turn to stone if Daddillac or 25 looked him in the eye, but compensates with his testosterone-charged persona here.

It's actually kinda cute.
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "So 25, you actually believe that the "RD" posting persona here is the same business practical persona that he employs in his real world? How fucking stupid are you?"

Pretty stupid if he's struggling to understand how one can separate fun time from everyday work and family life. Sadly though he's not the only troll who struggles with understanding human interactions. 🙈🙊🙉
rickdugan
3 years ago
The troll brigade is back in action I see. But that's OK because these are the sanctioned trolls, lol. 😏
rockie
3 years ago
25: RD communicates effectively and keeps many fires going on Tuscl (for his personal amusement). If you can juggle effectively - you can make a living!

I have not invested a moment to verify RD's world! I leave that to Dr. Phil and his flock!



twentyfive
3 years ago
That's your standard response to any inquiries you dislike, but you put forth the notion that you have a family, and then you put forth the notion that your wife left your household leaving you as a single parent, if you don't want to discuss those things why in the world would you put them out there, sorry buddy, those are all self inflicted wounds, you are doing a bit of trolling yourself and when you put a juicy tidbit out there for all to see and comment on, why act so surprised when it actually happens.

rickdugan
3 years ago
When you go off topic in an attempt to insult 25 then, yes, you are trolling. Very stupid indeed. 😉
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ I see so I ask you a question that you don't like, then I'm trolling got it, just genius level, trolling on your part.
Sure thing Boo I insulted you, didn't realize you were soo very sensitive, pull up your big boy pants, or don't post shit if you don't like the comments.
rickdugan
3 years ago
^ You asked intentionally inflammatory questions and you're well aware of it, unless you really are as stupid as you sounded. Be better than that. 😔
twentyfive
3 years ago
^ And you posted intentionally inflammatory responses you aren't that stupid yourself, be better than that and stop being such a weak sister and acting all hurt about things you put in play.
rickdugan
3 years ago
Interesting 25. Do I trumpet your pedophile defense or abandoning your heritage for your progeny every time a conversation about kids comes up? Hmmm, maybe you're on to something... 😉
Tetradon
3 years ago
"the dude is straight alpha, reminds me of hulk hogan in all honesty, in his demeanor and attitude etc."

Lol thanks for the laugh. You do realize professional wrestling isn't real...do you?
rickdugan
3 years ago
😲
twentyfive
3 years ago
When a guy is so fixated on pedophilia like you are RickiBoi, it causes every one on the board to wonder why, and compounding that with your unhealthy fixation about my children and their religions upbringing leave us all with very little doubt about who and what you are. It comes as no surprise to anyone that you have never met a single TUSCLer in all of those years you've been posting on this board, there must be a reason that you won't show yourself, leaving us only to speculate what those reasons might be, and none of those reasons are good.
DrStab
3 years ago
An old CF told me all about her parenting struggles. Three baby daddies - one dead from OD, one took the child from her and moved away, and the third just knocked her up. She’s getting her act together now after lengthy substance abuse issues, and the one child from the dead daddy is a positive influence on her getting her shit together.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
I can't blame rickdugan for shying away from meeting other TUSCLers irl. I feel like I can show more of my dark side here by staying anonymous except for with founder. Not many places you can do that. If nicespice's stripabouts ever bring her to a club near me, I'd make an exception. But none of the clubs near me seem to be worth it for nonlocal dancers.
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "When a guy is so fixated on pedophilia like you are RickiBoi..."

Of course I am 25. I'm a father and, outside of serious injury or death, my kids meeting someone like you is my biggest single fear. It's bad enough that I'm posting on the same board as a depraved old man deviant like you and most certainly why I long ago abandoned any notion of meeting anyone from here.
twentyfive
3 years ago
So as you call everyone else a deviant, why do you bring your children to the discussion, you are not only hypocritical but full of shit, you are the the idiot making up shit and flying off the handle just like SJG, when something you brought to the table is discussed,
What fucking right do you think you have, to discuss my children, I haven't discussed them here with you nor anyone else, you are constantly dredging up old business, you want to talk about Vince Micheals, he died 3 years ago, the only thing I ever said was the same as what founder, Papi, and dozens of others said the same thing, tell us how did anything you did make a single child safer, you stupid bigoted hypocrite.
As a matter of fact as long as I've seen you posting it's always been one straw man after another, with you it's always the same any interaction with you no matter how it begins, becomes unpleasant on line, why should any one expect any interaction with you IRL to not be the same way.
san_jose_guy
3 years ago
Lets back this down a bit and cool off.

:) :) :)

SJG
rickdugan
3 years ago
^ Now you're full of shit pedo. You actively defended him when others called him out for posting about sexually assaulting at least one child (and likely many more) and various other comments about children being suitable sexual partners. It was nauseating.

In fact, his posts and your never-ending defense of him still stick in my head to this day. It's the only regret I have about posting here. Every time one of my kids performs in some activity I wonder if there is someone like you in the audience and feel a bit of shame for posting in a place like this.

So just shut the fuck up before you dig yourself in even worse.
twentyfive
3 years ago
Now you're full of shit liar you should feel a little shame instead of dragging your kids in to use as a shield, every time you fuck up, you did it with Dadillac you do it with me, let's see you post something truthful for a change, I mean fuck it all, I'm just sick and tired of you acting all high and mighty, you are nothing but a pompous whore monger, and you have been starting shit all over this board acting as if you think you're better than us all, I remember you threatening to kick my ass over a cigar, I remember you telling everyone how you'd beat up a tranny for going to the bathroom, you make remarks about Jews then you pretend you are a church going person, I bet you haven't set foot in a church in years You are a phony prick, and one sorry son of a bitch.
You are a joke and the laughing stock of the board.
Want me to shut up before I dig myself even worse, let's see you make me you pussy.
goldmongerATL
3 years ago
On more than one occasion I have seen stripper's kids in the club. That's a sign of good parenting there. Couldn't get a babysitter?

Once at a pretty dead club in Dallas a kid sat down near me at the bar and started doing homework. Probably expecting a question from me she said "My mom works here" without looking up. I asked here where her mother was. She said "In the back. You know, doing it."

Unfortunately wise beyond her years. Comes from having Mother of the Year.
rickdugan
3 years ago
@25: Keep tapdancing and making noise pedo troll, but at the end of the day we know what you are. And yes I'm better than you - almost everyone is better than you. And don't try to wrap yourself in "all of us" because nobody wants to be openly associated with a pedophile (sympathizer?) like you.

@gold: Where in the world can a stripper bring a kid to a club? Was this maybe in a different (and more lenient) era?
JamesSD
3 years ago
A lot of people in this country have substance abuse problems, and strippers probably have a higher than average rate of substance abuse.
twentyfive
3 years ago
RickiBoi keep up being a tough guy who knows all the words and has none of the backup, Pussy
rickdugan
3 years ago
25, it's well understood around here that the only people you pose a threat to are 14 year old girls.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
@gold I think I'd be more worried about a kid scoring points by killing hookers in GTO than doing their homework in a strip club.

Would we be willing to pay a $5 - 10 higher cover charge so the club could maintain a nearby childcare facility? It's easy to criticize, until you have to put your money where your mouth is.

Does it really have to be traumatic for a kid if their mom is "doing it"? Seems like it depends what the "it" is. If "it" isn't something that mom can only do when she feels desperate or numbed up with substances, how would it cause trauma to the mom or her kid? I mean humans often seem happier when they don't really try to make any sense. So, if you want to be a sex work customer, but still think about sex work like a deacon at a Lutheran church, like John Lennon said, whatever gets you through the night, whatever gets you through your life.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
GTA
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
So nicespice, was Tlaloc also the god of making in rain in Aztec strip clubs? Did they have a medium of exchange, or did they make it rain with tortillas?
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
I suspect nicespice is one of those Dawn To Dusk strippers, so she may have actual first hand info about Aztec strip clubs.
nicespice
3 years ago
No clue. I wasn’t dancing back in the 1400s. 🤔

Thankfully we have an expert on this thread who is the authority of everything strip clubs, even more so than dancers themselves
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Dusk To Dawn
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Who?
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Sorry I didn't mean to blow your cover.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "Does it really have to be traumatic for a kid if their mom is "doing it"? Seems like it depends what the "it" is. If "it" isn't something that mom can only do when she feels desperate or numbed up with substances, how would it cause trauma to the mom or her kid?"

For money in a seedy strip club back room? At the very least that's a surefire way to instill a very unique value system in the mind of a child, one which would be at odds with those of most people that child has to deal with in this world.
rickdugan
3 years ago
===> "Thankfully we have an expert on this thread who is the authority of everything strip clubs, even more so than dancers themselves"

Or at least a part time dancer who trolls a strip club website and seems to connect better with anime characters than the motives of real people. 😉
goldmongerATL
3 years ago
This was in the 90's in Dallas. On Harry Hines Blvd if that tells you something about the club.

I have no problem with the way Mom was making a living. I just question having the kid with you in the strip club.

OTOH it may just be she was caught between a rock and a hard place. She had to make money but had to account for the kid. I suppose having her at the club beats the alternative of leaving her alone at home. If these are the only two options ...
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
As customers, we can do a lot to make sure that stripping isn't a miserable job. Because strippers will take the misery home with them, and if they have kids, being human, it will affect how good of a parent they can be. The problem can't be avoided by keeping the kids out of the club.
rickdugan
3 years ago
Ilb, I'm not sure that I buy the notion that stripping and issues with raising children are a cause an effect scenario. I'm more inclined to believe that both are often symptoms of the same underlying issue.

IME a certain % of the girls who strip full time for years on end do so because they cannot tolerate being locked down in a plain vanilla job. For the extreme versions of these girls, intolerance to anything that traps them also seems to extend to their babies. I won't opine as to the root causes of this phenomenon, but suffice it to say that these are girls who are just not emotionally geared towards living a vanilla lifestyle, whether it's punching a clock or being trapped day and night in a house with a dependent child.

Again though, this is no criticism. They know themselves enough to wish to give their babies more than they themselves are equipped to provide, which IMHO is something worth applauding.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Quick vote: like this post if you think nicespice connects better with people, dislike it if you think rickdugan connects better with people.

Rick, don't worry, if you lose you can always have the results overturned by the Florida state legislature.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Quick vote #2: Like this post if you agree that rickdugan puts as much thought into his accusations of trolling as a pigeon puts into shitting, dislike if you disagree.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
It's very common for people to be highly self-defeating in how they relate to others, and in choosing the people they relate to. We focus a lot here on sex workers doing self-defeating stuff with PLs. I tend to think that self-defeating interactions between people are to some degree mutually self-defeating. I'm not sure that non-commercial sexual interactions are that much less likely to be self-defeating than commercial ones.
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
@rd since you choose to frequent the seedy back rooms of strip clubs, is this an indirect admission of your seediness?
rickdugan
3 years ago
The troll is strong in this one. 😉
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
@rd it's a straight-forward question. If someone chooses to frequently lie down in what they themselves call dirt, it is natural to think this is an indication of their dirtiness. Your rando accusations of trolling are simply a way of avoiding questions that, if you faced them head-on, would shatter delusions that keep you from consciously hating yourself.
rickdugan
3 years ago
Interesting. Honey, maybe you should go watch a little more of "The Heike Story" and "Platinum End" and let the grownups talk about serious industry issues. 😌
ilbbaicnl
3 years ago
Are those movies? I have no idea. Are they movies only gurlymon would be familiar with? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTxA35jK…
DoctorPhil.
3 years ago
Mr. 25 said: "Rick not to troll but im really curious how did you ever get custody seriously, I don’t believe for one minute if your stories are true that those kids don’t have a clue what you are doing for entertainment."

RickiBoi responded: “Believe what you want, not that it's remotely relevant to this discussion. I am discreet.”

Phil explains phor the phactually challenged:

As many on here, including Messrs. 25, Daddillac, and Tetra, are well aware, RickiBoi does not have to be discreet because the wife and kids are fictional. A normal caring father wouldn’t bring up his kids on a website for perverts (no insult intended for the normal perverts).

Either RickiBoi’s family man persona is fiction or his demented pervert persona is fiction. I betting that RickiBoi is actually a demented pervert. What does the peanut gallery think?
rickdugan
3 years ago
The troll circus is back in full swing. 😉

🌈🦄🍄🍡🍭🍬🎡🎨🎪
DoctorPhil.
3 years ago
^
RickiBoi showing off his true persona: too much of a loser to bag a wife or even have fun demented pervert action, so he became a clown! 🤡

Do some funny dances with your buddy in the lion 🦁 cage Mr. Clown 🤡
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