PL Suggestions Needed

I really tried to believe that this is an attempt at goofy locker-room humor. But I guess I couldn't quite convince myself...

Here's an answer ... You don't, because that's sexual assault.

Even in a strip club with a dancer who doesn't know you (like this nurse), doing something like this is a great way to get thrown to the curb by a bouncer with a stripper heel lodged in your brain stem. Why? Because even if no one at the club is going to get you arrested for sexual assault, it's still really rapey.

How would I handle this situation? I'd enjoy the scenery and be friendly but respectful to the nurse, especially since she's punching needles into my body. And then I'd go to a strip club.

Because I know the difference between the inside of a strip club and the outside of a strip club.

^^ Wow this CMI is a fucking buzzkill.

Ishy, dude, we don't live in Oceania (yet), thought-crime is not currently a thing.

No non-long-shot options I can see. You could tell her you frequent strip clubs, and ask her opinion about the increased rona danger of doing so. Maybe she'll see and jump on the side-income opportunity. Probably would be a bit too obvious to say thin but busty blondes are your favorites, and ask if they're more likely to have the delta variant.

My initial reaction when I read this was Grasshopper you're not ready yet, but then I thought about it a little more, and remembered a certain orange man saying, "you just got to grab them by the pussy"

^^

"Fuck'er right in the pussy!"

• Fred (the Fuck'er Right In The Pussy guy.)

In the situation the OP describes, you simply enjoy the view and keep your hands to yourself. You can then write a silly discussion on this site.

Ishmael is correct. Unless you are on a Brazzers set, you don’t make a move on the hot girl who is about to stick a needle in your arm.

It’s best to stroke a few out as you enjoy the memory of that hot nurse and leave it at that.

I think I saw a porno that began that way.

Let her know you've got an extra $200 copay for her giving you a full body exam.

Ask NY governor Andrew Cuomo. I'm sure he can give you some suggestions.

Thanks for all of the constructive feedback.

Thinking about it further, the black lace push-up bra probably made what were really B-cups look like C’s. Still hot.

"She was having trouble inserting an IV and tried for about five minutes while looking all over both arms,"

You didn't ask the most important question, which is: what the hell was that about? Answer: you have too much subcutaneous fat and not enough muscle; the result is veins that are relatively buried and difficult to find. So the advice you really need: cut down on your carbs, start lifting some weights, and maybe start jogging and doing some HIIT. Skip dessert now and then, yeah? The lettuce on a quarter pounder doesn't count as a salad either.

^Or she caught him staring down the top of her scrubs and decided to make the IV insertion as unpleasant as she could.

I agree with Shadowcat. The OP may have bigger issues to deal with outside of thinking about getting some from a sexy nurse.

Did shadowcat post on this thread? I was waiting for an "I'm kidding", but the OP posted again and played it straight.

IRL I treat everything as business unless a woman makes it obvious she's interested in something more than that. Strip clubs are my only exception, because playing up sex appeal is part of the show.

When Cashman said "Shadowcat", I believe he meant "Subraman". It's an easy mistake; they look exactly alike online.

Call me a buzzkill all you want. I don't like stuff that sounds weird and rapey, and this sounded weird and rapey to me.

@Justin IV insertion was pleasant. She only stuck me one time. The views I enjoyed while she lightly slapped both arms made it pleasant.

@Subraman - actually pretty lean. 5’10” and 175 lbs means limited fat

I guess it's fair to say this is a troll. Even if it was initially a serious question, it's now obvious the OP is disregarding any comments on whether taking the fantasy into action could be problematic. Nobody's said fantasizing is a problem, but even TUSCLers have their boundaries (with exceptions, because people). Moving on.

I thought that this was obviously fantasy or locker room humor. Sorry I offended some who thought I was serious. Not all senses of humor are created equal.

"I thought that this was obviously fantasy or locker room humor."

You post on a board where somebody is accusing someone else of being a zombie and others have talked about how they've done a lot worse than Cuomo somebody. This Internet stuff lives forever, so don't take it for granted that people get your high minded sensibilities.

Ishy, why tf are you on this website? Fulfilling this type of fantasy is what at least 90% of sex work is about. If you see it as rapey, you'll have to forget about strip clubs, and wank to underwear ads.

To me it seems like, with more than 90% of women, the dis/creepiness is if you stare at their body when they're looking you in the eye. Doesn't sound like that happened here.

I was in a similar situation once with a very nice looking lady dentist. basically I just enjoyed the view while she extracted two teeth.

ilbbaicnl said "Ishy, why tf are you on this website?"

I like going to strip clubs where I pay for low-effort sexy fun (and some chit chat) with sexy women. Not sure what that has to do with a guy posting stuff that's weird and rapey.

"Fulfilling this type of fantasy is what at least 90% of sex work is about."

Really? It's about "casually" pulling a healthcare worker onto your lap and hard cock? I mean, it's not like I have the data in front of me, but I'm pretty sure low-grade assault isn't what 90% of sex work is about. At pretty much all of the strip clubs I've gone to, if you grab onto a dancer you don't know and pull her onto your lap, you're mere moments away from an aggressively shitty day. And strip clubs are where the dancers accept that some degree of handsy and creepy are built into the job.

"If you see it as rapey, you'll have to forget about strip clubs, and wank to underwear ads."

I do see it as rapey. And yet I somehow do great in strip clubs, and I have lots of fun with smoke-show hot dancers. That might have something to do with me not giving off a creepy or rapey vibe. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

"To me it seems like, with more than 90% of women, the dis/creepiness is if you stare at their body when they're looking you in the eye."

So, I guess everything with you happens at 90% or not at all. When it comes to creepy, guys can paint from a wide palate of behaviors outside of eye contact.

To me, a guy coming to a discussion board and asking for tips on engaging in sexual assault is creepy and rapey. And I'm not the only one who thought that, I was just the first to type it "out loud". Also, "thought crime" isn't a thing if you post something to a message board where people can react to it.

And if I see something that I think is creepy and rapey, I'm going to say so.

I see the OP as fantasizing about committing a criminal offense. Never once have I fantasized about sexually assaulting a woman. It IS rapey to anyone with an ounce of decency.

I apologize Ishmael. That was my mistake. I was agreeing with Subraman’s post.