What's the funniest thing you've heard in a strip club?

“No you can’t put you mouth there!”

"Fuck you I saw him first"

After cumming “Ewww it smells weird!” Then she starts crying and runs for the dressing room. Newbs lol

When I was at a club in Austin, there was a dancer giving herself a pep talk in front of the mirror in a club dressing room. She said to herself “I WILL make one thousand tonight even if I have to SUCK DICK”. Us other dancers were staring at her surprised. She looked around awkwardly, then said “I was just kidding”

I was getting a good table dance at Follies. Another dancer that I knew well walked by and told my dancer "He's my husband". My dancer asked me "Why would she say that?" "I dunno".

Almost 3 decades ago at a Newport, KY club, I heard a dancer fart on stage. The funny part was, she was trying to suppress the fart, and it wasn't working.

I heard a dancer several booths down once say, "What the fuck, he fell asleep." My dancer then tells me, "knowing her dances, I wouldn't doubt it."

I herd a dancer say. I wear men's underwear when I'm not dancing

;) You asshole! It’s in my hair!!

In a strip club where extras were common and openly discussed, I was negotiating with a dancer for a private dance with extras.
I asked her if she was "Greek friendly?"
She said, "I have nothing against Greeks. I also like Italians, Germans, Spaniards, Mexicans, Brazilians, Chinese, Arabs, ........"
I was smiling and stopped her before she could get started on a lengthy list of African countries. I said "in this context Greek is a reference to anal sex."

She made a horrified face and said "I don't do that." She left and went over to table of other dancers to complain about me. One of the dancers from the table got up and walked to the bar where I was sitting. She approached me and said, "I hear you like booty. Will mine do??" It was a great session.
I never saw the original multi-national hooker after that incident.

Not something I heard, but something I saw: a dancer showed me a picture she took of a guy who passed out in VIP with his pants unzipped and his dick hanging out.

"i don't like that girl. she always shows up high and her shoes stink."

Lmao just the other day when I was in fannies this girl I know gave a Mexican dude dances. Mid dance she feels his dick skin on her leg and her leg is wet. She jumps up and yells and guy runs out. Funniest shit ever 🤣

At the Columbia SC Platinum Plus, I once saw a dancer that I knew well, take a guy that was so fat that he had to use crutches to walk, to the couch room for dances. Later I asked her if his dick was as big as the rest of him. She replied "I don't know. I couldn't find it".

I heard a guy in the next booth grunt like he was about to cum. Then the dancer said "Did you eat asparagus?" I guess she could taste it!

That reminds me of hearing what sounded like a dog's squeaky toy in the booth next to me. Glanced over and saw a dancer bouncing away on some dude.

A dancer I'd taken back several times came out of VIP and went to the bathroom. When she came out, she sat with me and said "Jeez, I though *you* were small..."

The funniest thing I’ve heard so far is the noise georgmicrodong makes when a girl who doesn’t know how to brush her teeth gets right up in his face. I thought he was going to puke right there on the table. lol

In a VIP booth of a well known Detroit club which are separated by curtains not walls. Power goes out, music is gone, E lights come on and now all you hear is moans, groans and the sound of bodies slapping... from the booth right next to us we hear, "put it in my ass it will hurt less". My dancer and I looked at each other and busted out laughing.

It all runs together, but something that was probably funny to someone else was last year at Landing Strip in Austin, TX. If you've ever been there then you know there's a kinda sorta VIP level by the entrance with little booths that line the walls of a little raised area. They are open to the club and not private at all. It was not that long after the reopen and they weren't doing floor dances, but you could get dances in the front or back VIP areas.

So all that random info leads to me sitting in a booth that I thought was ok because I could see the stages clearly and get the attention of dancers and club staff if I wanted something. Some guy comes in and sits the next booth over. Starts getting dances. No big deal. After about a song he starts getting really into it. Really, really into it. And gets louder and louder and louder. So I take out my phone and try to look busy while this guy is getting so loud his moaning is louder than the music. Loud.

At one point I glance up and people sitting at some nearby tables aren't looking at him. They're looking at me like "WTF don't your hear that?". I give the slightest of shrugs and go back to what I'm doing on my phone. I'm not giving up prime real estate just because some dude doesn't know how to cum without wailing like he's passing a kidney stone.

"Want me to pretend I'm dead?" (funny-weird)

"put it in my ass it will hurt less".

ay longball, just wondering who said that 0 the customer or the dancer?

It was the dancer; took us a few seconds for it to sink in... pun intended.

Doesn't come close to some of the stories above but funny at the time

Not a extras club
Walking out after a Hot double LD all three of us laughing and talking at the same time. Song ends instant quiet just as the one girl says louder than she intended "fuck, I've now lost all my dignity"

Four surrounding tables cracking up asking for details