You must be a stripper

33 comments

• ime

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  4 years ago

  Any time i see hot girl driving a really shitty car, or having cheap cell phone.
• shadowcat

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  4 years ago

  A tramp stamp and bolt ons?
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  Yes, it may just be generational, but major ink still says stripper to me.
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  Tattoos on the bolt-ons is an even better sign, right?
• skibum609

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  4 years ago

  tats on the hamstrings.
• pistola

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  4 years ago

  Giant Louis Vuitton handbag but a cell phone with a cracked, ratchet screen
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  There is the SMH purchases and money management. Once knew one that spent five figures on a boat and trailer right after her car was repossessed. Knew another that bought a $2,000 set of earrings with cash. Didn't like them but was too embarrassed to return them to Macy's the next day. Instead she sold them to a pawn shop for $500.
• Michigan

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  4 years ago

  Saw a girl wearing stripper heels in public once. Probably a stripper. I see plenty of girls on SA taking selfies with lots of small lockers in the background. Probably a strippers dressing room.
• shailynn

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  4 years ago

  I think ime wins so far. Why can’t most strippers never manage money? I met a gorgeous girl in Cleveland - looked and acted completely normal. Imagine the hottest “normal” girl in high school but just with big fake titties. We hit it off and I met her OTC twice during my week in town, plus the night that I met her in the club. She made at least $1,500 off of me that week and showed up driving a car not even worth $1,500. This wasn’t an ever age looking stripper, she was probably top 5 in a club of 50+ women and had a great outgoing personality to boot.
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  The money management has to be somewhat psychological. The girls I was talking about just defy common sense,. Hmm. I can either take some of this $17,000 and make the $500 payment on my car to keep it from getting repossessed OR I can spend the $17,000 cash on a boat, not make my car payments and get it repossessed. I'll buy the boat and let them take my car. Hmm. A guy (not me!) gave me $2000 cash to buy some earrings. I can: a. decide I don't like them, return them and pocket the $2000. b. buy some cheap earrings to show him and pocket most of the $2000. c. Buy $2000 earrings and sell them for $500. That way I have $500. Which I will probably spend on other earrings. I choose C.
• CJKent (Banned)

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  4 years ago

  @goldmongerATL You wrote: “she was a platinum blonde spinner with huge tits, no bra and the top 3 buttons undone as she leaned over...” Pics or it didn’t happen.
• Cashman1234

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  4 years ago

  You use a Crown Royal bag as a purse. You always have baby wipes in your purse. You have Boner Garage tattooed over your pubic area.
• DenimChicken

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  4 years ago

  > Giant Louis Vuitton handbag but a cell phone with a cracked, ratchet screen - Pistola Add paying for their McDonald's (or 7-11 hot dog) like this in cash and it is a safe bet.
• Daddillac

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  4 years ago

  @Gold Monger... I need to know where you pick up pizza I used to think tramp stamps were a giveaway but I have seen some moms at basketball games that looked like normal women until their shirt rode up while picking up their bag. I just make a mental note lol
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  @Daddillac - I think she's the owner's daughter. Her mother manages the place. I guess Mom has no problem with her baby girl maximizing tips. Although, Mom was not there that day to see the display of assets. The problem with tramp stamps as women age is they stretch like comics on Silly Putty (showing my age). I have got to guess that tramp stamp was not two feet wide when they got it 30 years ago.
• rogertex

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  4 years ago

  I used to think the same way at first. Many strippers are low-key in stores, regular bars, etc. And avoid eye contact or mingling. In and Out. Not easy to spot, in my experience. Austin, TX is a small town - a few have spotted me instead and said hi. Other than that mystic stripper energy on their face - everything is average - clothes, makeup, hair (perhaps by choice). And half a foot shorter. Wouldn't give a second look. On the other hand, dazzlers are just regular girls making a good effort to get noticed - unaware of the wonderful world of gentlemen clubs where money, wine, smoke and explicit compliments flow freely. At least ideally.
• Roadworrier

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  4 years ago

  Tats tats and more tats. And a baby in tow. Or pix of her with her 5 cats.
• Daddillac

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  4 years ago

  @Goldmonger That is actually the problem with all tattoos.... go on a cruise and look at the senior citizens with their saggy tattoos.... hell it could be on their ankle and still look like shit. People just don't think this shit out. Also I remember an SNL commercial where the Mom is dressed June Cleaver (showing my age) and then she turns and grabs the cereal off the top shelf to show her "Juicy" tramp stamp. Her kid then asks her about it. Maybe I am a conservative asshole but can any of you imagine your mother explaining to you that her boyfriend like to fuck her doggy style and always said she had a juicy ass, so she laid over a bench naked and let a stranger draw that on her butt.... not my mother.... or the mother of my kids either
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  I could see June Cleaver explaining it was the name of kitten when she was a girl. All the boys liked my little Juicy, too. They liked to pet her and play with her. Whenever there was a party, all the boys took turns with my little Juicy. Sometimes Juicy got tired and they played with my other kitty, Poopy.
• elmer

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  4 years ago

  @ime "anytime I see a hot girl driving a really shity car or having a cheap cell phone" I must take issue about to cheat phone. I've never met a stripper that hasn't had the latest iPhone. Behind on every bill including phone bill but that one always manages to get paid.
• BaggerRider

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  4 years ago

  I was at an Acura dealer getting warranty work done, got there at 7 AM on a Saturday. The only other customer in the waiting room was an about 30 year old, attractive woman who removed all the magazines from one of the tables and was sorting out a big pile of bills into stacks of $1s and $20s on it. I didn't talk to her as she was pretty focused on what she was doing, but I couldn't come up with any other reason for her having that many unorganized bills that early on a Saturday morning unless she was a stripper.
• gammanu95

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  4 years ago

  Tattoos and bolt-ons are so common place today that I would hardly consider them a stripper-tell (boner garage excluded). Additionally, I cannot think of a single time when I watched a dancer leave her shift, or saw her in public, where they were not wearing sweats and comfey-tees. Even in a waiting room at the vet's office. Hell, even though pole-dancing fitness has fallen in popularity, its still prevalent enough that having that in a photo background isn't a sure sign anymore. Still, if I worked in a bank and Goldmonger pizza girl came in, I'd definitely be thinking stripper and wonder what might be on her personal take-out menu. @Goldmonger - take some pictures! Snag an instagram handle!
• Eve

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  4 years ago

  I think the only real giveaway that I could be a stripper in the outside world is that I carry an unnecessary amount of bills with me. Other than that, I just look like a stud lesbian with no wig or makeup. It's my stranger repellent.
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  I know her name but I have looked on instagram for her before. If I ever find it i will post a pic.
• Muddy

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  4 years ago

  If I see a pink/red wig I know at some point in the lifespan that person has tried stripping.
• Player11

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  4 years ago

  Does she carry condoms? Strippers do.
• Heellover

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  4 years ago

  The first stripper that I really would talk with/got to know I guess had all the traits! She had the loser boyfriend that literally played video games all day and did drugs, and she was extremely bad with money. I think there was even a mention of a knife fight with a former boyfriend (her current at the time boyfriend fighting with the former not her actually in the knife fight) One guy gave her over six thousand dollars one time for a down payment on a car that she ended up getting repossessed! She had several arrests, duis (at least two, maybe three), a petty theft many years prior to me talking with her I even saw the mugshot on that one and something else with a car I think (not just a minor speeding ticket). She also had free rent-from the same guy that gave her the 6000-for her and her loser boyfriend. And that wealthy guy didn't even live there (he owned several properties-what a risk he had to be taking-wonder if he eventually had to kick them out). It was crazy hearing all the stories and some of the drama, but damn that dancer was hot! BTW this was a very, very long time ago (maybe like 2008 or 2009) and.... no...... dancer mentioned does not dance (anywhere) anymore as far as I know. I know this wasn't really the topic at hand, it was identifying strippers in the civilian world, but it did get around to talking about dancers and money habits.....and I did hear some crazy stories that I thought I'd share. Haha
• Heellover

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  4 years ago

  I saw a milf (mid 30s maybe even older 30s) at the dealership paying for a car for her son (just barely 16, on his cell phone didn't even care you could tell he was extremely spoiled). This was 2013 probably . Lady was in heels and was extremely attractive I must say. Cut a check (people used checks back then haha) for 15 grand on the spot. I thought for sure she was a stripper. But the salesman asked what was best time to deliver the car. She said 5 o'clock pm because she worked until 4 pm or something like that and started around 8am. It kind of ruined the fun of it......or maybe that line was a cover and she really was a dancer, but since her son was there and every thing she just said she started at 8 am. I mean seriously this lady was hot! Even my wife was saying she thought the lady was a dancer.
• Michigan

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  4 years ago

  Heellover, that reminds me of a suspect dancer/high-end escort I saw in an airport once. Hot as hell. Trophy material. As I walked toward her and she towards me, you could see the tidal waves of guys heads turn as she passed them by.
• CrimsonCaravan

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  4 years ago

  If you find someone's Instagram profile with an OnlyFans link, chances are they are a sex worker of some sort. Most strippers I have met have had an OnlyFans page in the past or just recently created one as a source of income during the ongoing pandemic
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  @Michigan - I was on a flight to Vegas one time where an absolute 10 was across the aisle from me. She was in a short dress that barely covered anything. Overhearing the conversation with the lucky guy next to her, she was from Miami and headed to Vegas to dance for the weekend "but she might just work the hotels". She gave her number to three guys and told them to call her once they were settled in their hotels.
• joewebber

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  4 years ago

  most dancers do not wear heels outside the club. they wear flats or sneakers. they also rarely dress provocatively outside the club. they get harassed all day during work, so they're not going to keep the work-type clothes on outside of work. so 1) lots of tats (especially in stupid places like chest, hands, face) and of stupid things 2) bolt-ons 3) loser boyfriend or wannabe rapper (or both) 4) kid(s) in tow 5) drug addict (that recovered long enough to have a kid) 6) newest cell phone without case and has a cracked screen (because the kid either dropped it or put the last one in the toilet) 7) new car with damage 8) lives in an expensive place, but with shitty furniture 9) listens to nothing but hip hop 10) carries lots of ones 11) instagram stories counting big bills ($100) 12) smokes weed on instagram 13) lip syncs to rap song and/or smokes weed on instagram 14) tons of selfies in big crowds of other dancers at a club or boat/beach party 15) pics in front of lockers 16) an 18 to 25 year old spending mass amounts of money on worthless things or designer things (LV DnG, etc) 17) too many cosmetic procedures (lips, ass, botox) 18) extremely long and ridiculous fake fingernails 19) flip flops, short-shorts or other clothing out of place at a regular establishments (they usually have no concept of what clothes or makeup to wear outside of work) 20) smokers 21) sometimes heavy mascara/eye makeup or fake lashes
• goldmongerATL

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  4 years ago

  Most items on Joe's list apply to trashy women in general :-)