Should a regular expect physical contact before a lap dance?

No. I don't tell other guys how to club, but dancers I see often seem to be ok with some casual and flirty touching back and forth. Sometimes there's even a little fun at the table, at the risk of drawing out you know who to start talking about his favorite topic.

You're not expecting too much, but you are perhaps being a bit overly passive. Once you're a regular, you're probably getting EXTRA contact in the back, so you're winning back there. And it's probably a fair assumption on her part that, since you're already a regular and she knows she's sold you on the backroom action, no need for her to go into front-room sex-selling mode.

I don't see why you need to sit back passively and hope, though? I sit my CF right next to me, put my arm around her, etc. She knows what to do if I get a little touchy, touch back

Thank you, Subraman. You know the game so well. I do get some extra privileges in the back for being a regular. I definitely need to stop being so passive though.

These are my favorite moments. I always got off on being able to feel up on each other in the main floor. My top notch chic was really good at this. She mainly did things to make other girls in the club jealous. We would rub each other’s inner thighs or she would just sit her big ass right on my lap. I would gently kiss on her back and shoulders as I rubbed on her ass. But that’s just me. I was able to get away with a lot. Manager didn’t care.

you aren't expecting too much.

if you're her regular, she should be sitting in your lap in the front room before you even go back to do dances.

regulars are supposed to get these bonuses. man up and tell this girl she needs to step up her game!!!!

No you are not expecting too much but you might try conveying your expectations to your dancer friend.

Once a cf stops tryiungto entice me to do dances, I find a new cf.

Either be more proactive on your part and take the lead, or find a more GFE CF

Subraman is correct.

You know her well so just tell her you’d like that enticement. Maybe she has no idea that it mattered to you and she may well be happy to accommodate. If not, then you know that the relationship has pretty much run it’s course.

Front Room Makeout Session!

Buying Dances is a Chump's Game.

Save booths and backrooms until it is time for your own pants to come down.

Then take her home with you and continue to see her regularly.

SJG

Anyone who wants success in a strip club will ignore the 2 prior posts from dumb and dumber.

Just make it happen with her. If it is on the sidewalk in TJ I imagine you could take her to LC, BT, or to Lunch.

SJG

Yes!

I don’t do any of that stuff ever, sorry. There are plenty of people who come into a club determined to spend zero dollars. Sorry, no.

My regulars, I feel like they respect me more than the average customer because they know me and they treat me more like a person and less like a sex object when we are conversing. You are offering your part of the exchange and I’m offering mine, the other side of the coin is, why do I have to do that stuff, I want to enjoy our conversation without having to entertain, is that expecting too much?

Demonstrate generosity and charm, then FRMOS!

SJG

Expect? No. Feel free to ask, and spend your money elsewhere if you're not getting what you want.

Unlike some others, I've never really been a fan of getting all touchy feely out on the floor. I prefer some privacy to my groping. A secluded lap dance booth, a VIP, or a hotel room are all far preferable to me than the "front room" for making out.

@pinksugardoll

What is your strategy to drum up business from non-regulars?

My CF is very physical. She will stand close next to you or sit on your lap. Sometimes the PL does not bite and she has to cut her loses and move on to the next target.

Some dancers keep their distance when asking for a dance. I feel like PLs are more likely to decline with that type of approach.

-->@PSD: "the other side of the coin is, why do I have to do that stuff, I want to enjoy our conversation without having to entertain, is that expecting too much?"

No, not expecting too much. But it depends on the regular. Some of the folks posting above dig the touchy feely in the main room while chatting with the fave. Me, I approach it like georgemicrodong - I don't seek it or require it in the main room, I'm all good with waiting for the VIP fun I know from experience as a regular will occur when we do dances or room.

Some places I think the girls need to be very aggressive if they want to make it happen. I think it also depends on how high the back room mileage is to be.

Some of the front room makeout sessions locally, no touching clubs, seem to be because the girl wants immediate OTC.

SJG

I look at my former CFBG relationship like any other relationship, communicate your wants in a polite manner and allow her to meet those wants, if she does not then you adjust accordingly.

I think it’s somewhat expected that a dancer will get more comfortable with a regular. However, being comfortable shouldn’t equate to just sitting around.

My current fave always comes right over when she sees me. I get a big hug and kiss - and as we chit chat she will rub my cock through my pants - or she will rub her butt against my cock. It gets me stiff - and wanting more. She also knows, I would rather fuck her first and after she will sit with me to have a proper talk about life.

I think a lot depends on her mood. I have a few dancers that I know pretty well and I get different reactions on different days. Some times they give me the gfe on the floor but sometimes we just sit and talk especially if their day or week has been crap. I realize that sometimes the dancer just wants to not feel she is having to hustle. I am fine if she just wants to sit and do or say nothing for a while and just recharge her batteries. I have noticed that when I give her that “me time” she more than makes up for it in VIP.

What is my strategy?

Be nice and friendly and beautiful. Going pretty good so far.

In some places it is more competitive for the dancers.

And I always advocate the the customer select and approach the dancer himself, and demonstrate generosity and charm right off.

SJG

I second that @heaving - preferably in mid March! haha

select your girl and approach. Demonstrate generosity and charm, and play her out some. FRMOS. Save booths and back rooms until it is time for your own pants to come down.

Then after take her home with you and continue to see her regularly.

SJG

My CF is VERY friendly in the front room. She encourages the extra touching.

Why do you "expect" anything?

Most all our interactions are based on expectations. It doesn't have to be a strip club interaction. We enter a restaurant and expect to be greeted and seated by a host or hostess.

We go to a strip club to see a dancer we know, and we expect her to say hello. If she's free, we expect her to come and say hello.

I'm not sure why that is inappropriate?

@Dolfan

I see your point.

Just like a dancer should not expect to get business when her regular is there, the PL should not expect anything from the dancer.

Kind of like if you go in with zero expectations, there is no way you will come out disappointed

I never expected it from the start, but...due to actual experiences where it just happens, I've been conditioned by both faves and new strippers that main room dick teasing is a typical "standard". This has been the case in just about any club in any city. So now, if a stripper doesn't do this, I'll move on because there are strippers that will, as their own "expectation" to get dances from a PL.

In my world all my strippers allow me to give them a nice massage and in the process they tease my dick. Again it's only an "expectation" because it's a given in both of our worlds. It just happens.

And when I'm a regular I've never had a stripper back off from this with time. Moreover they always have increased the main room dick teasing with more regularity. And, to PSD's point, we still have good convos as people while at the same time we are teasing each other as sex objects. They wouldn't be a regular if this didn't happen.

When we started, my ATF DS would sit with me and grind me from spoon position. But she would keep her bottoms on, even if they got in the way of good contact - like having denim shorts on. Over time she began removing her bottoms or pulling them down so it's just her bare ass and thong in contact with my crotch. Now it's become a given. We don't sit spoon together unless she's only in a thong. And I'm nitpicking here but it feels wonderful and I don't ever want to go back.

I also have two other faves that are the same way. And over time the teasing increases rather than decreases. Nowadays one of them flat out stick shifts me often as long as nobody appears to be watching. I'm talking bring me from soft to rock hard with conviction here. And I've never asked or expected this. The whole time we talk normal small talk like how our days are going or what's changed since we last saw each other. Also again none of this is initiated by me, and again it's only "expected" because it's just the norm I'm used to. The only time main room dick teasing has ever been an issue with a fave is when she's juggling other customers.

And to be clear, I don't mind just going straight to dances or having platonic idle chat beforehand, if I'm horny for a certain stripper. Again it's just that I don't have to settle for this because many strippers are willing to give me some tease time and I'd be an idiot to turn it down.

"I wish I could get the "foreplay" new PLs get."

^ @Bavarian I can tell you from experience that by focusing and giving a stripper a legitimate massage, she's almost always willing to spend at least 15 minutes, often longer, over an hour sometimes, of "foreplay" time with me prior to getting dances. It's to the point now that I'm so hard and horny that I'm edging to the point of LDKing. It doesn't even matter anymore that she's new or a regular fave. With a fave it's simply a known routine. And with a new stripper, I make the move very early into the meeting. After intros and small talk and such I put my hand on the small of her back and massage it or rub her leg. As we talk I ask how she's feeling and if she wants a back rub or massage anywhere she may want one prior to getting dances. In the last five years over dozens of strippers I've had just one rejection. They almost always accept. And the key is to do it well, with the true intent to give a legitimately good one. If you can do this, then she will be open to and more than willing to be teasing you before dances in the process. Plus, she'll remember it for the next time you see her.

My experience with Texans, is that the more repeat visits, the more demanding they get. (And Texans are already an entitled and demanding bunch in general anyways—so it’s even worse when it escalates).

And honestly time is money, especially in high volume clubs like Baby Dolls. There’s no shortage of dance buyers over there. And randos are waaay less emotionally draining than repeat customers (idk about the OP specifically just saying what’s in general)

Even for chit chat interaction, you will find generous bar tippers (in the downstairs circular bar) They will stuff $20 bill or two plus random $1s in the g-string for a few songs worth of interaction and then be prepared to dodge hands finding their way into the string as well. Heck one time a guy tipped me $400 to sit and chat with him at the bar for about 30-45 minutes while groping my tits. 😀 That’s the type of physical contact bantering without dances that tends to happen. Not saying if happens every shift, but it’s enough of a thing that you’re going to have to be more generous or more generally easygoing of an individual to keep a girl engaged for longer.

Perhaps consider throwing a tip after a few dances. If you do that it will make you stand out. Perhaps get a bottle and find somewhere comfortable to stay. Or just identify dancers who seem to dislike approaching lots of customers and don’t like hustling (like PaulDrake seems to do)

Select the one you want, meaning the one you want to be waking up in the mornings with. Approach her yourself and demonstrate generosity and charm. Get a front room make out session going. Only when it is time for your own pants to come down, you invite her to the back room.

Then take her home with you and continue to see her regularly.

You won't need to do this very often.

SJG

New Jersey is famous for the NJ Handshake which is a form of greeting where dancers give you a 2 sec hand over pants HJ at bar. Had one fav do that to be for 30 seconds as part of her sales pitch. They dont make them like they used to.

Heck, I remember there was this one dancer in particular who seemed to prefer circulating that particular bar area and would only go other places like upstairs once she exhausted her options.

^^^^ Still, demonstrate generosity and charm, and get a front room makeout sessions going with her. Likely the girl you describe will be quite amenable to that.

SJG

@nicespice I hear you about high volume clubs. In any city, you cannot expect much main room teasing time with a stripper unless you compensate her accordingly by basically paying more than what she would otherwise make from someone else.

LOL and as you know with me seeing you, I avoid this complication and show up when the club is dead. 🦄🤗

^ Even at the Dragon it’s not to the same extent.

If one wants results with strippers, it does cost money.

All the more important then to select the one you want and to have a plan.

SJG

Beyond a point though, if the girl does not yield to money, charm and patience, they you do have to cut losses and shine her on.

But that is loads better than letting her drive it and force you to do things on her terms, and become a chump.

SJG

There's some nuance to "expect" that maybe I took differently than the OP intended.

There's the expect that implies some sort of obligation (real or perceived) on the part of the subject to the speaker. The bank expects me to pay back the car loan. I expect the kids to clean their rooms.

Then there's the predictive version, where the speaker hopes or is some degree of certain that a thing will happen. I expect the sun will rise in the east tomorrow. I expect SJG will post nonsense.

I assumed the OP meant mostly the first version, with some of the second, thus my response.

Read what I've posted GMD, people can patronize strip clubs without being PL's.

SJG

@nicespice agreed. I've clubbed at high volume lapdance factories in Phoenix, Albuquerque, San Fran, New York, Seattle, and other cities. Beyond the Dragon and for Portland in general it's not high volume anywhere in this city except at maybe Spyce or Casa Diablo on the busiest nights. We have too many clubs here which make it a "buyers market" for main room teasing time.

I'm not into faves so not really any dancer's regular nor do I need or look for attention from a dancer beyond dances.

Having said this - if a custy is willing to devote his visit and his resource$ to just one specific dancer, then IMO he should get more devotion from his dancer/fave - if he's willing to be one-on-one w/ her particularly w.r.t. his wallet, she should be one-on-one with him - i.e. he's dedicating more of his resource$, if not all his resource$, towards her, and thus she IMO should be dedicating more resources to him, or else not expect his exclusive resource$ - what I don't agree w/ is guys that want 2 hours of attention then just get 2 or 3 dances.

Amen!

Papi_Chulo +25

And that is how you can likely get a FRMOS where that is not the norm, and end up waking up with the girl you have selected regularly.

Your clubs don't have girls who make you want that? Go someplace else.

SJG

@Papi if there's no other lapdance buying customers, my ATF DS and a couple other faves have zero issues sitting with me for over two hours for at most one drink and three dances. LOL but only when it's dead.