Suicide
CrimsonCaravan
God Bless America
I've suffered through depression through most of my teenage years until now. There were many instances in which I thought that taking my own life would solve my problems. However there was only one occasion in which I was very close to completing the task. The day I thought I was going to die, I got a random phone call from a friend I hadn't seen in a very long time. It was a simple "how have you been" call, but it made me want to live. I'm not sure how exactly, but I'm glad it changed my mind.
Have any of you guys ever suffered through depression up to the point where you have contemplated or even attempted suicide? What/who persuaded you to keep living?
Have any of you guys ever suffered through depression up to the point where you have contemplated or even attempted suicide? What/who persuaded you to keep living?
78 comments
I'm fully sympathetic for those who cope with chronic depression.
I had two years of utter hell. Outside life was good, with a solid job, a loving family, and a great woman. Then the bottom dropped out and I still can't figure why. Sad on the good days, dissociated and despondent on the bad. I was completely on tilt, drinking and whoring my head off (100% short term disability for 6 months meant my SCing was corporate sponsored). It didn't even feel pleasant, just less unpleasant than everything else. One day, I went to my bedroom to grab my 12 gauge and end it all, only to realize that Rational Me gave it to a friend before Irrational Me could pull the trigger.
It took a lot to bring me back to normal. A ton of crazy meds, even ECT (shock therapy) which itself took a year to recover from. And a great network of family and friends. I didn't realize to what lengths they would go for me until then.
I know I'll never be "normal." My strip clubbing is often tied to hypomanic, hypersexual episodes. I'm coming out of one right now, where it felt compulsive. Now with a tweak to the meds, strip clubs can occupy their proper place in life.
(Of course, there are plenty of others who are happy, celebratory, just in to have fun, etc...as well, but that's not what this thread is about 😊)
For some reason, I felt oddly compelled to bookmark and download this article yesterday (something I rarely do)... with no one in particular in mind. I chalked it up to just wanting to reference it later if I felt it might help someone I came in contact with.
Perhaps it was meant just for this thread... if nothing else, it's definitely relevant: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depre…
🔆Anyone struggling with thoughts of suicide, please talk to someone!🔆
@CallMeIshmael it seems like we we're both saved by similar situations!
@heaving I like the training grounds idea, I've never thought of it that way
@Tetradon I'm glad that your rational self made that decision. And I don't think that anyone is truly ever "normal", everyone has some sort of underlying issue that they're trying to overcome. Live and learn right 😁
@EndlessSummer I'll definitely give that article a read! I guess sometimes you must feel like an unofficial therapist to many people
He mostly liked to keep to himself. But he had a great sense of humor. One time in high school he wanted to borrow a quarter from me to buy a bottle of water. He gave me a penny as “collateral” and the next day opened my purse and put 24 pennies in there.
Also high school: one time we got into an argument because I said that sarcasm isn’t too effective if there isn’t *somebody* who is in on the sarcasm. He disagreed. Then later that day in English class, the teacher talked about how the best type of sarcasm is when nobody realizes you’re being sarcastic. We sat pretty far apart in the classroom but he blatantly turned and pointed at me and started laughing.
In freshman year of college, he had a roommate who he didn’t care for. And he talked about once how the roomate got mad at him because the roomate’s poster got defaced. And told me on skype, “personally, I think the scantily clad girl looks better with the beard and devil horns” 😈
He signed up for a Facebook account senior year of high school and entertained everyone with his trolling.
He was the one who initially linked me to the song “Gangum Style” when it got released. He really liked it. And I still think of him whenever I’ve hear it occasionally.
He had a large and loving family. He had no logical reason (as far as I knew) to face the issues that he did, but brain chemical imbalances can mess things up severely. He was a good person who had so much potential to offer to the world.
Somebody else in my social circle was very affected by that. She was the one who called me when he initially went missing, and called again a few days later when his body was found. There was a couple of times she had suicidal thoughts a year or two before that. She even stole a bottle of painkillers from me and took 20 pills. And I went with her family to check her in to the hospital.
After that happened, she never did anything like that again. I think she realized the pain others feel when they needlessly pass away too early.
*~TLDR~*
Suicide is a very painful thing, for all parties involved. Definitely reach out.
Go cry to your momma.
@Heaving: Gam is as entitled to his opinion as you are to yours. I guess you missed the irony of accusing someone else of trying to regulate posts when you were trying to do the same thing. 😉
There's SJG constantly posting about front-room suicide sessions (FRSS...). Twentyfive won't stop bumping that "Are we ready for some suicide?" thread. Cjkent and all his rambling leftist quotes about assisted suicide. And then there's juice and crazyjoe running at least a half dozen suicide trolls each (including 'Rick the Suicidal').
I really wish that founder would create a separate forum just for the dozens of off-topic suicide threads that gets posted here.
Alternately, it's a rare off-topic about being human.
I bet most of the shit spewed forth is from idiots that would never open their yaps in real life
I may be an idiot, but I can assure you that I'd say the same shit to the face of any degenerate who posts on here.
I was spoofing other frequent content from several users to show that a bunch of off topic stuff lives here.
I think, like you, I believe that it's perfectly acceptable for TUSCL to host the occasional thread about a serious, thoughtful topic.
I thought so !
I'll further add that strip clubs are probably not healthy places for depressives and bipolar types. I can't speak from personal experience, but I watched a bipolar guy crash and burn while partying in strip clubs. Over the years I've also seen more than a couple depressive lonely types getting ruined by foolishly trying to fill their voids with the faux affections of strippers.
So anyone who really has these issues should probably steer clear of both clubs and club related forums and instead focus on healthier pursuits.
I thought so !"
@25, and? I'm guessing that I routinely club with a few of them, even if we don't know each other. But any fucker at a strip club bar who says something stupid to me always gets my unvarnished opinion.
In the process of explaining why I agree with Gam, perhaps I did indeed. :)
And possibly do some sort of self-reflection and wonder at whether there was a reason for posting in an aggravated matter, rather than merely shrugging and continuing to scroll down the discussion page.
As to your other point about the dancers, of course most of those girls have issues. Shit, if we advocated against dancing while mentally unsound, the stages and dressing rooms at some clubs would have tumbleweeds blowing cross them. I don't even want to think about what it would do to my extracurricular fun....aiyee!
I didn't post this as a way of fishing for attention. I posted this to see if any others have felt the same way I have before.
The first one was a sibling who I shared a room with as a teenager. One morning I woke up to him puking his brains out over the side of the bed (we had bunk beds and he slept on the top bunk). Both of us were out partying late the night before and I was asleep before he got home. Later I found a brand new 500 count bottle of Advil in the medicine cabinet that was mostly gone. He had taken between 200 and 300 Advil. At the time he was puking he was completely disoriented and could not speak clearly. He fortunately got enough of it out that it did not work. It scared the crap out of me because I was usually the one who woke him up every morning, and I would have been the one to find him had he been successful.
We also had extremely shitty parents who refused medical or psychiatric treatment. Not too long long after that he had another attempt. At that point in time I rarely saw him because of schedules being so different. I ran into him in another city while hanging out with friends. We were both with separate groups of friends that night and crossed paths in the other city. We spoke briefly as my group was entering an establishment and his group was leaving. It was snowing hard with blizzard conditions that night so I ended up staying with friends instead of going home. The next morning I got a phone call that my sibling was in the hospital from an auto accident. Later I found out that he had slid around in the snow and could have prevented the accident, but he went for it and made it worse. The crash was fiery and so bad none of the emergency crews believed he was driving the car because nobody should have survived it. He happened to say in a disappointed tone, " Oh, I am still alive..." to a paramedic in the ambulance and they ended up admitting him to psych care where he did get some good help. Our parents had no say in this because it was mandatory under state law to be admitted for at least a 72 hour hold, which was a good thing. I remember going to visit him there and was included in a group therapy session with him. The group was asked to each tell the others something good about themselves. My sibling could not think of anything at all good about himself. I mentioned something to him about his work ethic and he was shocked and excited to find that there was something good about himself.
This situation improved when this sibling decided he would no longer have anything to do with the family.
I also had another good friend that was suicidal from time to time. She found a friend of hers that she had confided in and wanted to end it all. Her friend agreed to stay with her as she drank and took some sleeping pills until she was gone. Her friend had a bout of conscience before it was done and rushed her to the hospital. She is still alive and well, and has new meaning in life.
I have had others but those two had the most impact on me.
A couple tips for dealing with someone who has severe depression...
-Never call their bluff if they are threatening to commit suicide. It may seem tempting call someone out on their threats and say go ahead or you don't believe them if you think they are doing it for attention.
-If someone you know is severely depressed and they suddenly seem happy and nothing is wrong... WATCH THEM CLOSELY AND STAY IN CONTACT WITH THEM! Severely depressed people have a hard time seeing hope for the future. If they are suicidal they are in a decision making process and will not just suddenly turn happy unless they suddenly have hope. When someone makes the final decision to end it, they have hope. This decision will give them hope faster then figuring a way out of their situation will. If someone is suddenly became happy they may have made that final decision to end it.
_______________
You didn't violate any rules of the board and you were looking for empathy and support. Instead you were attacked by some of the most repulsive and unhappy losers on the board, who could have simply put the thread on ignore. It's the other way around; your attackers were looking for attention.
There is no such thing as Mental Illness, or Depression as a Clinical Condition. People are depressed because they are leading depressing lives, and because they have suffered wrongs which have not yet been avenged.
SJG
But, perhaps from the perspective of some here, those guys are just "self-pitying" and "attention-seeking"...
SJG
So to both of them I say "toughen the fuck up already." If your lives suck that badly, then do something to fix them instead of sitting on a strip club website whining. Two grown ass men of relatively young age shouldn't be so stuck in their own heads.
But, since I don't want to seem completely heartless, here's a link to a mental health discussion forum, where you no doubt can get all of the sympathy, positive affirmations and shared self pity that you crave: https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/
SJG
Only insecure bullies swing their nuts on a thread like this.
No it didn't. It was designed to kick the ball off in the hopes of confirming a theory about clubbers, similar to the goofy "I haven''t had a GF in many years" thread started by the same screen names. Neither thread achieved the desired objective because the underlying theories were flawed. 😉
SJG
There's a difference between real mental illness and sadness because someone can't dip their stick. The former, you can get laid six ways from Sunday and it won't break through. Regardless of original intent, and I'm not a mind reader, that's what the thread evolved into. That, the resident lunatic with his pet theories, and a few overcompensators.
https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Mental-Illne…
SJG
But then, via Dugan and Gamma, it derailed into an argument about who is entitled to experience from depression.
The answer is 'everyone', by the way.
Honestly, I'm surprised the thread stayed on track for as long as it did.
But Clinical Depression / Mental Illness is something invented to abuse survivors.
SJG
And stop pretending that you have me on ignore.
No. I had some real down times, lonely, couldn't get laid, broke, hungry, hurt. And our rainy winters here in NW can turn you grey.
But, suicidal, no.
That's a heavy one.
Hope things are better now. Best wishes, keep moving forward.
“Damn this topic depresses me so much that I think I'll go get a stripper to fuck me to death.” But I have to change the first three words ‘damn this topic’ to read “ when life depresses me so much that I think I'll go get a stripper to fuck me to death.”
For what it is worth, strippers in the clubs kept me from further thoughts of completing that act over 18 years ago. I have not considered the act since. Hence, I believe the OP’s thread is very appropriate for a strip club forum.
@endlesssummer. Good article.
Just remember that suicide is a permanent action to solve what is usually a temporary problem. If you are feeling this way find someone to talk to about it. I got a lot of help from my church and eventually a therapist when I was battling depression and I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel as a result.
I'm frankly shocked to see this subject ridiculed and being made light of. Of all places, I wouldn't expect such harsh judgment. Clearly this WAS exactly the place for such a topic because it touched enough people that responded in supportive, constructive, and empathetic ways. Props for everyone who did that. 👏
It's real easy to take what you like and leave the rest... here, as in life.
🔆❤🔆
@Nidan Thanks! 💋
To the bitches who keep whining on this site about their emotional issues, I ask you this: What has wallowing in your own misery and feeling sorry for yourself accomplished for you up to this point in your life? Assuming you had a father (or grandfather), did you ever see him sit around feeling sorry for himself or did he get up and get shit done?
If you want to stop being lonely then man the fuck up, because no girl, other than the shrink or stripper you are paying, is going to sit there for long listening to it. Hit the gym, buy a punching bag, find extracurricular activities to become part of, find a hobby, do whatever you need to keep your mind and body occupied and to become what iti s you want to be. That advice was 100% free.
Fuck, I think I'm going to have to bend a girl over my hotel bed tonight and treat her like the bad girl that she is just to work out the depression I'm getting from seeing a bunch of grown men whine like bitches. 😉
True, but what do you expect from someone who’s so divorced from reality that he actually thinks you have to trick dive bar hookers into accepting money for sex by wearing a suit and pretending to be a chemical engineer? https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=6309… Not to mention the fantasies he has posted about assaulting patrons at the bar or ambushing them in the restrooms (I don’t have the time or inclination to look for these, but those who have been here a while know what I am talking about.). Ricky Boy is basically just fucked in the head and no one should pay any attention to anything he says, other than for its bizarre amusement value.
I'll never know, nor will I care, what is so terribly wrong in your life that you look to attack folks that are suicidal SMH
Thank me.
I'm welcome.
"Troglodyte seems to have emerged from the mists of time untouched by human evolution. Devoid of a single progressive idea and lacking the slightest awareness of social and cultural advances, Troglodyte has developed an incoherent political philosophy that he characterizes as "conservative" or "libertarian", but which could be more accurately described as "bigoted narcissism". His aggressive posturing often frightens off weaker, more timid Warriors. In pitched battle, however, Troglodyte easily loses control and his attack quickly degenerates into a rant. Just for the fun of it, Weenie, Issues. Pinko and Evil Clown will sometimes deliberately goad him into a towering rage."
That being said, to op... I was in a dark place as a teenager. My home life wasn’t well and I had terrible anxiety. I did physical activities and went to friends houses as often as I could to try and cope but it wasn’t enough. I tried to get help on my own but since I wasn’t 18 I couldn’t see a psychiatrist/psychologists without parental permission and my parents thought it was all fake and a joke. (Even though my general dr even told them I had sever anxiety.) I had to wear a heart monitor at one point because it was causing my heart to race causing chest pains. I faked puking in the bathroom and faked a fever just to skip school so I could be alone and de stress. I spent many times just laying in the nurses office with the lights off to calm down because I would get so physically ill from it. I needed help and I tried to get it but was denied. I even at one point became obsessive about my weight, not because I thought I was fat, but because I needed to feel in control of something, anything and that was the only thing I felt I could control at the time. It was unhealthy how bad my anxiety was effecting my life. I made the plan to end it all one day. I was going to slit my wrists in the tub before anyone else got home. My friends had stopped talking with me for the most part and I felt all alone with no hope. I just wanted it to end. Just before I cut up the river my cat insisted I let her in the bathroom. She wouldn’t stop clawing at the door. And she is the only reason I stopped. I decided I couldn’t just leave her behind. She would be abused if I left her alone and I couldn’t allow that to happen. Very few people know of this time in my life. I don’t really talk about it.
Things have gotten a lot better since then. My anxiety is soooo much better and no where near that crippling. In fact it’s pretty rare that it gets bad at all now.
I cut a lot of toxic people out of my life and focused on my own happiness and doing the things I love.
From recent USA Today article:
"More and more Americans are dying by suicide. What are we missing?"
*Suicide is the nation's 10th-leading cause of death, with 14.2 deaths per 100,000 people...
Some experts say reducing the suicide rate won't occur without examining the environments people live in or larger societal ills, such as economic insecurity and discrimination that may drive people to despair. Survivors agree.
"It's not like someone is just broken," Stage said. "There are all these things that happen in their life that break them. Abuse, poverty, homophobia, marginalization. Are we too focused on the individual and not enough on the systemic causes of suicide?"*
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati…
For those with short memories or who are newer to posting on TUSCL, other members in the past have openly discussed their emotional [including depression and suicidal behavior] or physical challenges. Long-time members remember Farmerart revealing a work-related progressive disease that eventually took his life. He did it in an honest, matter-of-fact manner. Prior to this revelation he had regaled fellow members with his often vivid, sometimes outrageously funny mongering stories; no one could legitimately claim he only posted here just to seek sympathetic attention.
This post is just as appropriate. Callously ranting about it being unwarranted on TUSCL reeks of someone who finds discussing suicide makes them personally uncomfortable. Instead of saying this openly in a comment they strip it of any personal feelings and post intellectually pompous and derogatory opinions. Worse, those opinions not only show a serious lack of understanding of suicidal behavior but a lack of compassion.
And let's drop the red herring of 'I'm entitled to post my [dissenting] opinion'. Yes, you are, but you are not compelled to always post it. Those possessing more discretion might opt not post in this particular context seeing it as more destructive than constructive.
Moreover, what you or any of us is NOT entitled to is 'protection' from criticism of the *content* of what is said. The right to state your opinion doesn't guarantee you protection from legitimate criticism. Even SJG's vaunted 24/7 'super firewall' won't stop the blowback. ;)
Your Psychiatrist and your Psychotherapist are not going to storm any Bastilles with you, not going to lead any sit down strikes, and they are not going to bring you back the heads of violators. All they are going to do is fuck with the head of the one who is in their office.
SJG
It seems like your rough past has helped you in the present day. The past is in the past and turning the days ahead of you into something that you can actually enjoy and look forward to is a miracle in itself. It's heartwarming to know that you defeated that dark phase in your life
Then, as simple as it sounds, I realized there is much to live for -- in particular, beautiful young ladies and sexy MILFs.
I stumbled across this site and a couple others like it and got back into the hobby, something I hadn't done since before my marriage more than 20 years ago. For me, the pleasure of a woman's company and the joy of her beautiful body give me much to look forward to in life.
All Psychotherapy does is try and induct you into the therapist's own denial systems. This the only reason they are a therapist.
And divorce really hurts, huge attack on honor. End up having to reinvent oneself.
SJG
TJ Street
https://farm6.static.flickr.com/5511/962…
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aLu6NgJbKJo/Vj…
https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3814/961…
In my experience professionals just want to pump you full of drugs. Clergy wants you to pray and come to services. My mom tells me to fuck who I want and not get attached.