Seeking.com, How to lead off?
Muddy
USA
I was just throwing this by TUSCL because I'm truly curious. I talked to some girls off SA and they said they most have guys start off by saying their whole spiel. Meet me up at X hotel for X amount. Dudes I just can't do something like that. I usually start off by saying "Hey whatever I'm whatever how are you" or whatever the fuck. I feel like I have to say hello first like a normal human being. Then I might ask something personalized based on what I see in their profile in an effort to connect on some level, and then I will probably ask what kind of arrangement they are looking for and then make some type of offer I'm comfortable with to meet up.
However a lot of times chicks just leaving me hanging on the hello. It's kind of odd that they don't want to even hear me out on the offer. Now I fully understand that they may not like how I look for whatever reason or read my net worth/income and not like what they see. I overexaggerate slightly but not crazily with a bunch of overtime I could do those numbers but I'm easily not a millionaire catch. My question to y'all is how are you leading off? I'm thinking maybe changing strategies a little and see how that goes, I just find it little strange is all.
However a lot of times chicks just leaving me hanging on the hello. It's kind of odd that they don't want to even hear me out on the offer. Now I fully understand that they may not like how I look for whatever reason or read my net worth/income and not like what they see. I overexaggerate slightly but not crazily with a bunch of overtime I could do those numbers but I'm easily not a millionaire catch. My question to y'all is how are you leading off? I'm thinking maybe changing strategies a little and see how that goes, I just find it little strange is all.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
18 comments
If you want to attract attention from actual SBs, best to do better than "hey whatever I'm whatever how are you". A short note that mentions something in their profile so it sounds personalized, or otherwise catches their attention.
I have to send out a lot of messages to get to an initial meeting, and typically have to go through a bunch of initial meetings before I find someone I want to continue with. So it can take a bit to find a good SB. But, based on comments I've seen from experienced SDs, this seems to be par for the course.
I also put in something like "Please let me know how much you want to chat before we meet or talk about arrangement specifics. Different SBs have different preferences."
That gives them the opportunity to let you know if they want a longer "getting to know you" phase, or if they want to skip to times, places, and dollar amounts.
Of course your problem might be posing a dick pick in your personal photo's. 🙈
I started by checking profiles and when I found some that I liked I sent them a short note saying that I found them attractive and liked their profile, but could I see a current picture and peek at their private photos, then if I still liked their looks would ask them to meet locally for a drink at a popular spot and along with getting them off site and texting with me directly we’d meet a few were flakes a few were genuine and it just felt like too much work to me so I stopped and went back to my usual ways.
HAHAHAHA That's hysterical! She might be saying what the rest of the girls are thinking :) Something similar happened to me, too! When I first got on SA I had no idea how to interact with the girls, and took the same slow small-talk get-to-know-you approach that had worked for me on regular dating sites. This was within like the first few weeks I was on. I made contact with a really attractive girl, after she messaged me back I sent her my small-talk get-to-know-you questions, and she just replied back "Not into answering these questions" and blocked me. She did me a huge favor, in retrospect; I learned the lesson and started refining my approach.
All of this to say, there's a big difference between not being a rush, and behaving like it's a regular dating site. The way I run interactions with the girls is basically:
Goal: Establish compatibility and move to an initial meeting. Part of establishing compatibility is that she's not all-business or in a wild rush. But it's not a dating site either.
For the most part, in 90% of cases, I send her that opening message, swap very high level pictures of what we're looking for in an arrangement, exchange private pics, move to text. Moving to text seems to change many girls' demeanors. Maybe I've passed some test. Once we move to text, they often send a few unsolicited pics, and if they're chatty we do our get-to-know-you there; if they're not chatty, we at least flirt a bit but move things to setting up the initial meeting.
No matter what, unless you're dealing with a terrified new SB, establish basic compatibility and always be progressing towards the initial meeting, while you're getting to know her. You can always cancel the meeting if you change your mind.
___________________
There's a 95/5 rule in sugaring where 95% of the guys are chasing the same 5% of the girls. Some of these girls get zero attention and others are swamped with messages. I can assure you that the top 5% are not interested in "meet me at hotel x for $y" messages.
The Reddit sugaring forum is a better place for this kind of topic. It's exploded to over 6Ok members and, more importantly, you can get feedback from the girls.
If you're exaggerating your net worth/income, @Muddy, I would ask yourself whether you can really afford sugaring and whether you'd be better off with escorts or OTC flings. It's an expensive luxury.
If I try again, I'm going to say I'm 20 years younger and include photos of George Clooney.
1. Stay with the get to know you, and comments on profile approach.
2. Do not ever make an "x for y" offer on the site's message system. If it gets reported or they monitor it, you will be banned.
3. Once/if you get traction (you may need to contact 10-15 to get one) move the convo off site to text, email, WhatsApp, etc. There you can exchange more details, including financial when appropriate
4. Approach a 1st meet more like a job interview than a "lets meet and fuck" date. Those who respond well to that will be looking for an ongoing arrangement. Those who do not are looking for a quick hookup (i.e. escorts or semi-escorts). Both are viable modes.. you need to decide what you want to get out of the site.
5. Before contacting, reverse image search their pics on google to look for cat fishers. Look for Instagram pics from models who are obviously NOT the owner of the profile (i.e. An Australian model is not working at Starbucks in Burbank looking for a regular guy Daddy.)
6. When/if you get a phone number google search that as well. If she's an escort, you're likely to see her escort ads pop up. Early on in my Sugar days, I did that and got over 50,000 google hits on her phone number, all escort ads placed across the country. I used her published rates to negotiate my offer, then banged her and bailed. If she is not an escort, look for a FB profile, or search her number on FB. An active FB profile that matches the profile info is a good sign you are not being cat fished.
Reverse-image searches and searching by phone number is incredibly easy to foil with burner phones/apps and and some rudimentary image-processing. Most escorts are not going to agree to one or more *unpaid* dates. If one of these girls agrees to a few unpaid platonic dates and they can talk intelligently about their school major, they're probably not escorts. Although anything's possible.
I’ll stick with clubs where I can see what’s available and talk to them first. Hookers were too hot or miss. Too many fake pics and druggies. I probably pay as much as the SB guys or maybe more, but I don’t mind since I get the variety I like.
https://www.telcodata.us/search-area-cod…
+1 on liking perverts avatar
In my limited SA experience I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum: the first was “Can you pick me up? $200 an hour - your place or a hotel”
The second: can we text for awhile and then meet in a public space?
The first was porcine and while she swallowed it was a waste.. the second is expensive but is getting much better - I provide gifts, an occasional cash supplement. We’ve moved through heavy petting,, to oral sex, to covered intercourse and we’re planning toys and a full menu. Expensive ($1800 to $2000 a month) but a 9 with a decent apartment, good taste, sharing home cooking from my place to hers and a normal relationship only I’m 74 and she’s 27.