Seeking.com, How to lead off?

Lead off with the "meet me at X hotel for X amount" if you're looking to basically troll for girls who would have been bottom shelf escorts if backpage was still around. Despite how I'm wording it, if that's your thing -- and for most guys on tuscl who are on SA, this seems to be what they're looking for -- the escort-like girls respond fine to a direct business-like approach.

If you want to attract attention from actual SBs, best to do better than "hey whatever I'm whatever how are you". A short note that mentions something in their profile so it sounds personalized, or otherwise catches their attention.

I have to send out a lot of messages to get to an initial meeting, and typically have to go through a bunch of initial meetings before I find someone I want to continue with. So it can take a bit to find a good SB. But, based on comments I've seen from experienced SDs, this seems to be par for the course.

I don’t necessarily mean they are just looking for a hooker although a lot of girls get those messages. But they will write a huge paragraph on whatever they want sort of like some sort of ad one is supposed to respond to. Maybe that gets more responses fuck I don’t know. I will say this, the “technique” of just feeling these girls out and having some sort of conversation first off might solid way to percolate for quality. My experiences have been overall pretty positive. Few bitchy girls in there but overall a much more laid back group than the typical stripper. One girl I messaged on there was I forget the exact question, but it was something like your from this area? And she comes back with “Ugh dude get to the fucking point already” Woah, It was like the second thing I said, I’m aware not to drag shit out on there but that girl probably would have been a gigantic bitch to deal with in person.

Subra is right. Just say hi but mention something in their profile. Humor almost always works. Also, have some Private Photos on your profile. They can show some interest by simply asking to see those. But if I got a respond like you did " get to the fucking part already ". That would be a hard pass on my part. That's not the experience that I am looking for.

Keep it short but friendly. Say something that demonstrates you read their profile.

I also put in something like "Please let me know how much you want to chat before we meet or talk about arrangement specifics. Different SBs have different preferences."

That gives them the opportunity to let you know if they want a longer "getting to know you" phase, or if they want to skip to times, places, and dollar amounts.

Most girl.are actually flattered that you read their profile and don't treat it like like a Tinder.swipe. It shows you are actually taking the time to check them out and do not have the appearance of randomly spamming 100 girls with the same "Hi" or "Hey baby x for x". The girls I have meet get overwhelmed with messages and you need to grab their attention.. Make It personal.

Of course your problem might be posing a dick pick in your personal photo's. 🙈

What I did a few years ago when I gave SA a try was pretty simple.
I started by checking profiles and when I found some that I liked I sent them a short note saying that I found them attractive and liked their profile, but could I see a current picture and peek at their private photos, then if I still liked their looks would ask them to meet locally for a drink at a popular spot and along with getting them off site and texting with me directly we’d meet a few were flakes a few were genuine and it just felt like too much work to me so I stopped and went back to my usual ways.

-->"One girl I messaged on there was I forget the exact question, but it was something like your from this area? And she comes back with “Ugh dude get to the fucking point already”"

HAHAHAHA That's hysterical! She might be saying what the rest of the girls are thinking :) Something similar happened to me, too! When I first got on SA I had no idea how to interact with the girls, and took the same slow small-talk get-to-know-you approach that had worked for me on regular dating sites. This was within like the first few weeks I was on. I made contact with a really attractive girl, after she messaged me back I sent her my small-talk get-to-know-you questions, and she just replied back "Not into answering these questions" and blocked me. She did me a huge favor, in retrospect; I learned the lesson and started refining my approach.

All of this to say, there's a big difference between not being a rush, and behaving like it's a regular dating site. The way I run interactions with the girls is basically:

Goal: Establish compatibility and move to an initial meeting. Part of establishing compatibility is that she's not all-business or in a wild rush. But it's not a dating site either.

For the most part, in 90% of cases, I send her that opening message, swap very high level pictures of what we're looking for in an arrangement, exchange private pics, move to text. Moving to text seems to change many girls' demeanors. Maybe I've passed some test. Once we move to text, they often send a few unsolicited pics, and if they're chatty we do our get-to-know-you there; if they're not chatty, we at least flirt a bit but move things to setting up the initial meeting.

No matter what, unless you're dealing with a terrified new SB, establish basic compatibility and always be progressing towards the initial meeting, while you're getting to know her. You can always cancel the meeting if you change your mind.

@Upright: "The girls I have meet get overwhelmed with messages and you need to grab their attention.. Make It personal."

___________________

There's a 95/5 rule in sugaring where 95% of the guys are chasing the same 5% of the girls. Some of these girls get zero attention and others are swamped with messages. I can assure you that the top 5% are not interested in "meet me at hotel x for $y" messages.

The Reddit sugaring forum is a better place for this kind of topic. It's exploded to over 6Ok members and, more importantly, you can get feedback from the girls.

If you're exaggerating your net worth/income, @Muddy, I would ask yourself whether you can really afford sugaring and whether you'd be better off with escorts or OTC flings. It's an expensive luxury.

When I tried SA a couple years ago, I had absolutely no luck. I think it was because I posed real photos of myself and my real age.

If I try again, I'm going to say I'm 20 years younger and include photos of George Clooney.

@Muddy,

1. Stay with the get to know you, and comments on profile approach.
2. Do not ever make an "x for y" offer on the site's message system. If it gets reported or they monitor it, you will be banned.
3. Once/if you get traction (you may need to contact 10-15 to get one) move the convo off site to text, email, WhatsApp, etc. There you can exchange more details, including financial when appropriate
4. Approach a 1st meet more like a job interview than a "lets meet and fuck" date. Those who respond well to that will be looking for an ongoing arrangement. Those who do not are looking for a quick hookup (i.e. escorts or semi-escorts). Both are viable modes.. you need to decide what you want to get out of the site.
5. Before contacting, reverse image search their pics on google to look for cat fishers. Look for Instagram pics from models who are obviously NOT the owner of the profile (i.e. An Australian model is not working at Starbucks in Burbank looking for a regular guy Daddy.)
6. When/if you get a phone number google search that as well. If she's an escort, you're likely to see her escort ads pop up. Early on in my Sugar days, I did that and got over 50,000 google hits on her phone number, all escort ads placed across the country. I used her published rates to negotiate my offer, then banged her and bailed. If she is not an escort, look for a FB profile, or search her number on FB. An active FB profile that matches the profile info is a good sign you are not being cat fished.

^^^ hard to tell whether @Muddey wants a cheap Backpage girl or an SB. Most of the guys on TUSCL are looking for the former.

Reverse-image searches and searching by phone number is incredibly easy to foil with burner phones/apps and and some rudimentary image-processing. Most escorts are not going to agree to one or more *unpaid* dates. If one of these girls agrees to a few unpaid platonic dates and they can talk intelligently about their school major, they're probably not escorts. Although anything's possible.

Tell her you're on TUSCL - we'll vouch for you

^ that will likely put you over-the-hump.

There’s another board where the local SB scene is talked about. Most of the guys seem like they want a girlfriend type thing without the girlfriend strings. I guess that’s ok. It’s not what I’m looking for right now.

I’ll stick with clubs where I can see what’s available and talk to them first. Hookers were too hot or miss. Too many fake pics and druggies. I probably pay as much as the SB guys or maybe more, but I don’t mind since I get the variety I like.

OT, the girl in your avatar is amazing, @prevert. You have very good taste.

In addition to what has already been mentioned I will sometimes do an search on the first six digits of their phone number (area code and exchange). This will tell you if it's a burner number or real cell phone number. An experienced SB or pro is likely using a burner although this is not at all definitive.

https://www.telcodata.us/search-area-cod…

+1 on liking perverts avatar

I would definitely lean more SB. I do like actually hanging out and having a good time.

+2 on prevert’s Avatar
In my limited SA experience I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum: the first was “Can you pick me up? $200 an hour - your place or a hotel”
The second: can we text for awhile and then meet in a public space?
The first was porcine and while she swallowed it was a waste.. the second is expensive but is getting much better - I provide gifts, an occasional cash supplement. We’ve moved through heavy petting,, to oral sex, to covered intercourse and we’re planning toys and a full menu. Expensive ($1800 to $2000 a month) but a 9 with a decent apartment, good taste, sharing home cooking from my place to hers and a normal relationship only I’m 74 and she’s 27.